Chapter 142: Florida Man Converts M4 Sherman Tank to Joystick Control. He Interviews, “It Won’t Implode Like a Certain Submarine”

*RUMBLE*

Felix settled into the cockpit of the M4 Sherman tank, excited to explore its inner workings. However, it quickly became apparent that this wasn't the old WWII relic he'd expected. Instead of the clunky, analog controls of a bygone era, the tank's cockpit was sleek and modernized.

The two ancient analog sticks, the clutch, the gear shift, and the pedals were nowhere to be found. In their place was a curved game-like monitor and a single joystick. The seat was reclined at an extreme angle, much like a Formula 1 car, forcing Felix to lie back as he operated the tank.

Even the turret was equipped with an autoloader for rapid consecutive fire. But due to all the advanced machinery crammed inside, the once spacious interior was now densely packed, allowing room for just one operator.

As expected, the tank was powered by essence stones, the universal energy source for anything bought from the Florida Man Store. But unlike the relatively low-cost items Felix had acquired before, this beast required a serious investment of power.

Three essence stones were dedicated to the engine alone. An additional 10 were required for the energy-based beam cannon and rear mini-beam turrets, another 10 for the reactive energy shield, and a whopping 20 for the self-repairing function.

This wasn't a Sherman tank anymore. It was a futuristic war machine dressed in classic armor!

Felix glanced at the manual he had grabbed from the cockpit seat. He flipped through the pages that explained the tank's myriad features. As he scanned the options, his eyes widened when he spotted something truly absurd: a high jump function, capable of sending the tank 100 meters to the sky, and an automatic one-time-use parachute function.

The special functions reminded Felix of a multiplayer first-person-shooting game, where players detonated bombs to launch a tank in mid-air, and the tank operator shot down a fighting jet in the sky.

Felix was half-amused. But when he realized that, despite all its upgrades, the tank couldn't fly, his shoulders slumped slightly in disappointment. Driving it down from the flying island or toward the oil derrick was out of the question.

Felix let out a deep sigh, somewhat let down by the absence of a flying tank. Still, the sheer firepower and tech at his fingertips were enough to bring a grin back to his face. He settled into the inclined seat, grabbed the joystick, and gazed at the sleek OLED curved monitor in front of him, ready to give it a go.

"I really hope the manufacturer of this thing wasn't O*ean G*te," Felix joked under his breath, thinking of a certain ill-fated vessel.

<Don't worry. It won't implode.>

"I know. Kek," Felix chuckled as he powered up the tank, the hum of the essence stones filling the cockpit. It was time to test what this war machine could really do.

…

*VROOM*

The tank roared to life, darting across the field as Felix drove it toward the ominous Purple Forest. Following the stone path Roland's people had built, the tank rumbled along until it reached the southern entrance of the cursed woodland.

Felix scanned the dense forest ahead through the 360-degree camera lens mounted on the tank, comparing the real-time feed with his system map. He checked for any hostile monsters lurking in the area. Strangely, the map displayed no threats in sight.

Undeterred by the eerie calm, Felix pressed onward.

The tank's powerful barrier dome plowed through dead trees with ease. The brittle trunks cracked and crumbled under the sheer force of the tank's engine and its relentless tracks, which flattened anything in their path.

As the tank ventured deeper into the heart of the Purple Forest, Felix noticed red dots slowly flickering onto his system map—finally, signs of life.

Felix adjusted the joystick, smoothly rotating the turret to point in the direction of the dots. The left side of his monitor displayed a bird's-eye view, pinpointing the location of the potential enemies. A suspicious tree with a grotesque human face caught his eye. It was in the process of devouring a dead, mutated goat.

Felix glanced down at the tank's joystick controls, noting the unique symbols replacing the typical XBOX or PS buttons. The buttons were labeled with elemental symbols: Earth on top, Wind on the right, Water on the left, and Fire at the bottom. Conveniently, the "Fire Command" button was represented by the fire symbol.

With a wicked grin, Felix pressed the Fire button.

*PFWOOSH!*

A muffled sound reverberated through the cockpit as a glowing red energy ball launched from the tank's cannon. It shot through the air like a high-speed cannonball, blazing toward the target. At the last second, just as it threatened to overshoot the mark, the glowing projectile hung suspended in mid-air, then plummeted vertically.

*BOOM!*

The ground trembled as a massive explosion erupted, sending a hellfire mushroom cloud skyward. Black smoke curled into the air, marking the devastation for miles.

The resulting shockwave blasted brittle trees into splinters, tearing apart shrubs and smaller plants. Even the stronger trees bent and tilted from the fierce winds. The gale scratched at the Sherman tank's energy barrier, but the tank remained unfazed, its defenses holding firm.

Satisfied, Felix climbed out of the cockpit to survey the destruction firsthand. Charred earth, shattered tree trunks, and smoldering debris littered the forest as far as the eye could see. He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head at the absurd level of firepower he had at his disposal.

"Goddamn," he muttered with a grin. "I guess this toy's more than enough for the raid."

With that, Felix hopped back into the cockpit and turned the tank around, heading home. The weapon had passed its test, and now, he had the perfect tool for dealing with the basilisks.

But there was still an issue.

How would he get down from the flying island?

...

After returning home, Felix found Jiji waiting for him outside. He parked the tank and hopped out, storing the vehicle back in his inventory, and preparing for the raid.

Jiji stood there, wearing only an apron. Her hands gracefully folded over her navel. She maintained her usual poise while sneaking a glance at the tank before it disappeared into Felix's inventory.

With a gentle smile, she asked, "Are you preparing to go somewhere, master?"

Felix returned the smile. "Yeah, I'm planning to visit my money-making place. But there's a problem. I still don't know how I'm going to get down from the flying island."

Jiji's expression remained calm as she offered a piece of advice, "How about the jetpack you used when you first got here?"

"That's what I was thinking, but I was hoping for something like a parachute."

He did have a few parachute backpacks from the Class B mystery crates, but the idea of skydiving without any prior experience seemed reckless. He hadn't tried it before, and the last thing he wanted was for something to go horribly wrong mid-air. Jiji's reminder about the jetpack, however, seemed like the safest option for now.

"When are we heading out?" Jiji asked, assuming they would be traveling together again.

Felix didn't refute the assumption. Jiji had already proven herself useful in battle, not to mention the seamless way she blended into his life.

She never complained or nagged. She gave him space when he needed it, especially when he wanted to smoke or focus on something. Sexy, graceful, hardworking, and completely understanding—Jiji was an irreplaceable companion in more ways than one. And she had never refused any of his sexual advances, which only added to his appreciation.

Felix was proud of his girlfriend and familiar. Wherever he went, he intended to take her along. He completely forgot about Jane and the chances that she might return.

"Probably in two days," Felix said after a pause. "I need to tidy up some… boxes… in the storerooms on the first floor and the underground."

"I see. I'll help you with that," Jiji offered, ever willing to assist.

Together, they entered the house. Felix led her to the underground floor, where the mess from the crates had been left unchecked.

As they worked, Felix explained the new items he had obtained from the gacha crates, patiently teaching her about each one. Jiji listened intently, eager to assist and absorb the knowledge.

The two of them worked seamlessly, like a well-oiled machine, preparing for the next stage of Felix's journey.

.

.

.

Under the shadow of the flying island, the lamias had successfully built a small village, using the massive island as their central landmarks. They had dug a wide moat behind the anchors, forming a square-shaped boundary around their new land. The village, although modest in size, was bustling with activity as the lamias adapted to their new life.

Surprisingly, their leader was not a lamia but a dryad—Clover, the same dryad Felix had rescued from the slave market. Along with the other freed slaves, she had gathered the lamias from Diana's tribe and settled here, uniting the two groups under her calm yet commanding presence. Sёarch* The Nôvel(F)ire.nёt website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Clover was no ordinary dryad. She could wield three elemental magics: Earth, Wind, and Water, making her uniquely powerful among the demi-humans. Moreover, she was ancient, having lived for over a thousand years and survived several cursed moon calamities.

Her deep well of knowledge and experience gave her an edge in leadership. Under her guidance, the once-raunchy and troublemaking lamias were tamed, respecting her authority without question. Even the five male beastmen who had accompanied Clover on this journey were left untouched.

Days had passed since the ominous purple moon had receded from the sky, and Clover remained as diligent as ever. She oversaw the village's progress, personally distributing vegetable seeds to the farm workers while keeping a watchful eye on the surroundings. With her keen senses, she scanned the edges of the village, always alert for potential hostile intruders.

This village was more than just a safe haven for the lamias. It was the beginning of a new life for everyone under her care. And Clover, with her strength and wisdom, intended to make sure it stayed that way…

Until a troublemaker from heaven descended.

*FWOOOOOOOSH!*

Descending from the flying island, a lone human figure appeared in the sky to the west with a jetpack strapped to his back. The sound of the engine's low hum filled the air as he awkwardly hovered near one of the massive anchor chains that held the floating island in place.

His descent was gradual, controlled but somewhat shaky, as if still getting used to the jetpack's functions. For nearly ten minutes, he floated in the air, spiraling downwards until he finally touched the ground, landing about 500 meters west of the newly established lamia village.

Clover, always vigilant, noticed the intruder almost immediately. Clad in her usual earthy garments, she gripped the machete, a weapon she had scavenged from one of the broken crates around the village. The blade gleamed under the sun.

Without hesitation, Clover rallied a squad of the village's strongest warriors. Ten lamias, each armed with crude yet effective metal spears, followed her lead. Their weapons were makeshift, crafted from long, sturdy metal rods topped with stone spearheads.

The squad swiftly moved through the village, their scales brushing against the grass as they advanced toward the west. Clover, with her keen senses and ancient wisdom, could feel the unfamiliar presence in the air. Although the human didn't seem immediately hostile, Clover wasn't one to take chances, especially when the safety of her people was at stake.

As they neared the landing site, Clover gestured for her warriors to spread out, surrounding the lone human with a jetpack. All lamias pointed the speartips at the man at first. But a few seconds later, some of them recognized his face.

Felix calmly scanned the area and blinked a few times. He glanced at the system map and confirmed their stances.

They were all yellow dots. Negotiation was possible, but it might also be futile.

"Alpha?" One of the lamias called Felix out.

Hearing their voice, Felix thought of Jiji. He summoned her, allowing her former comrades to see her again.