CH 4

On a whim, I walked out here. I rea*sured myself that Kyles would quickly come after me. However, I was actually a bit worried that he might not chase after me out here, so I felt a bit bitter. Still, the situation angered me, so I corrected my facial expression and acted coldly, “Explain what happened. How did you become her friend?”

“Hah… She’s just a friend. She introduced me to people at the center when she knew I had no connections there. I couldn’t tell you, because you would care,” explained Kyles as he sighed.

I felt a bit saddened and angry that he never gave me a hint. Then, I bit on my lip and spoke out in bitterness, “Friends with a woman who you have never talked to before… Alright, that’s that. But why did you hide it from me? Why? Did you think I would object?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Why did you walk past me and up to her instead?” This was what has been haunting me from within, so I spat out against him.

Kyle sighed, “That’s what I said. I met her at a party in the capital. I was going to ignore her, but she greeted me first. We talked for a while, then I figured she wasn’t all that bad. And then, I was introduced to some people at the government, just as I told you, and we bid farewell. I just thanked her for what happened then.”

To claim the woman who bullied me that she wasn’t all that bad… My heart sank. But I didn’t want to let him know because it would make me a pitiful woman. “You could’ve told me! Do you realize how miserable I feel to know about something like this? You know! You know about me and her” I tried my best to push down my feelings that were about to explode. If I didn’t do that, I felt I would shed some tears instead.

“I swear I never talked about you while talking to her, Marina!” 

He tried to hug me, but I fought back and pushed him away. “Don’t hug your way out of this! I want an answer!

My stern voice made Kyles let out a deep sigh again. He frowned and spoke in a low voice, “Alright. If something like that ever happens again, I will tell you first. I am sorry, Marina.”

The shame that could be heard from Kyles’s voice made me feel sorry for him, so this time, I hugged him. Right. Maybe you only thought it was your chance. Maybe you hid it because I would feel bad about it. I’m sorry. I think I let it out on you over my depression with Elise.

“I was so depressed today, you know. You weren’t here, and everyone was looking down on me for being alone. I felt like crap,” I whispered to him.

Kyles then hugged me back and kissed me on the cheek. “You know that I am always on your side. I only see you.”

That made me almost laugh. Look at that lie. Moments ago, he eagerly saw Elise, the most beautiful girl. “Don’t even try to lie about it.”

Then he smiled, “I’m not lying right now.”

Kyles then hugged me and smooched my lips. His kiss was disgusting as always. It was hard to breathe, and I hated that slimy feel. But he was kissing me because he loves me. I pushed back my anxiety as I embraced his lips.

‘That’s right. I only have Kyles, and he only has me. This is proof that he loves me.’

***

Since some time ago, Kyles didn’t even try to hide his feelings and expressed his exhaustion whenever he talked to me… That’s right, Marina. You knew very well his eyes turned cold when he looked at you from some time ago. Even if you do everything for him, all he gives back is a sense of responsibility and duty. The one who had been clinging on to this tiring relationship was my stupidity.

***

I came back from the past to the present, faced my reality, and replied, “Kyles, I’m sorry. You must have been tired of me clinging onto you when you no longer had feelings for me.”

“…”

Kyles did not deny nor accept. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I tried to look up, trying to push back my tears. ‘Let’s accept it, Marina. He is not in love with you. You had been clinging on to him. Let him go now.’ These thoughts rushed through my mind.

Remnants of memories rushed through. It was five years of tears and smiles. Tears seemed to drop, but I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want to look weak to them. Although I couldn’t say we were hotly in love, I trusted him to be my partner forever, so I did my best to keep it that way. But now, I felt like I wanted to tell Elise that she can keep that dirty bag of trash.

Elise smiled annoyingly, denying the situation, “Please, trust us. Kyles and I are just friends.”

“That’s right. Marina, trust me when I say it,” added Kyles. 

I was going to back off here, but they kept at it, trying to pretend to be only friends and make me a fool. I couldn’t see through their facade for the past five years when I was in love with you. But now I’m not stupid, you nerdy fraud. You should’ve just accepted it! Why are you making me angry?

“Oh, beautiful Elise. Your red lips are so striking that I want to kiss my lips against them. You and I have fiancés. Their bond isn’t as strong as ours. I realized that a soulmate exists as I met you. There is me who looks at you, so don’t be sad for that man, who makes you miserable… Was that how it was written? It was so touching that I almost cried reading it.”