CH 98

‘Who can stop him from doing that? Rave will never stop his habit of flirting for the rest of his life,’ I thought as I burst out in laughter. Then, I heard Rave’s voice.

“Oh, you finally smiled,” Rave said as he smiled, brightly as if he was happy as well. Gosh, does he like me laughing at him that much?

“Marina,” said Rave.

“Yes,” I answered at the sudden call of my name.

Rave then spoke to me with a mischievous smile and asked, “Is there something wrong?”

I felt frustrated, but I couldn’t tell him. Things with Elise and the nightmare… I couldn’t share things like that with him, so I replied, “Nothing.”

“I see. It’s nothing this time as well,” commented Rave with a lower voice. He stayed silent for a while, then threw his pocket watch into the air and grabbed it. That’s an expensive watch! What if you break it?

“Rave, it’ll break if you drop it!”

“Hahaha! Your face looked funny. Why are you worried when it’s not even yours?”

‘Of course, I’d get worried. There’s nothing wrong with that watch, and you’re throwing it into the air! How can I just ignore it!’

As I was about to snap at him, Rave watched me with an unexplainable sunken look on his face. It was a grim expression that didn’t fit him. It was so unfamiliar that it caught me off guard. I looked away and heard Rave’s voice in his usual tone.

“It’s fine. I’ll repair it if it breaks!”

I became bitter at his words. How wonderful would it be if you could return to normal? If I could do that, I could stay emotionless while people insulted me… I acted as if it didn’t hurt me, but it seems I’ve been hurt from the inside. If the watch was repaired, it might look fine on the outside, but it might have critical damage inside that’s hard to find.

Unaware of my thoughts, Rave began throwing the watch again. At that moment, the watch that was thrown in the air without much thought looked like me, who had to withstand uncaring hostility, and I became disgusted. Oh, Marina. Don’t be a fool. However, the unpleasantness that had already filled my guts was difficult to suppress.

“Marina, are you alright? Are you angry because of me?”

I tried to stay calm as best as I could. Although Rave was a good coworker, I didn’t trust him enough to show all my feelings to him.

“It’s alright. Don’t mind-” I was about to hide from him when he interrupted me and penetrated through my mind against my expectations.

“But you look like… you’re going to cry.”

I was appalled. How did he know? I must have been trying my best to look expressionless. How do you always find out that I’m suppressing my sadness?

“What’s wrong? Have I done something wrong? Please, talk to me. Why are you always trying hard not to cry?”

I’m confident that I didn’t show any hints of it… This time again, he penetrated my weakness hidden behind my calm mask.

“I should go back.”

It was unpleasant. I didn’t want to stay with him any longer because he, who had looked through my iron mask, might pull out the weak mind that I could barely suppress. Coldly, I snapped, “Please don’t mind me anymore.”

Rave glared, then gritted his teeth and put his head down. Then, I left him there and hurried to get out of there.

***

Only after I saw there was no one around me did I let out a deep sigh that pushed up from my heart. It was frustrating. I was still tied to my past and was being held there. My beautiful memory of my first love, Kyles, who deceived me, and I from the past, who agonized over the bullying were no longer here.