CH 113

“Are you crazy, Marina von Harrant? You’re talking rudely to an official ranked the same as you!”

I smiled pleasantly and replied, “Wasn’t it you who talked so rudely when you’re the same rank as me?”

“Stop trying to talk back picking on every detail. Isn’t it because you’re a woman that you are being nitpicky-”

He tried to talk back again, so I quickly interrupted him. “Yeah, yeah. Almighty official from External Affairs. Let me ask you this. Can officials at External Affairs talk down to other officials if they’re ranked lower? Do all those officials from External Affairs talk down to women officials?! Do you think of women officials from External Affairs as inefficient, unskilled people? Is that it?”

“N-no! I- Uh-”

Eyes that were looking at him had turned cold already. Many people, not only women, were looking at him in disgust. He blushed at the sight of that and spoke to me, “Hah! Try managing today’s speech without me then! Marina von Harrant, it’s all your fault!”

“It’s your fault, not mine. Stop blaming others, and leave if you don’t want to do it.”

He hurriedly left after I said that, and I felt relieved. But I also felt guilty. Hahaha, things had gotten worse when I already had a problem with the leader of External Affairs. ‘Oh well. I should look after myself.’

The speech was made using the information I had gathered anyway. There was no reason I couldn’t do it, but I still had to get permission from the leader of External Affairs. As such, I waited for Marquis Schuteiner, who I wished to avoid if I could. Soon, when he came, I explained and asked for his understanding.

“Hahaha! It would be perfect if you take the lead as you’re the one who proposed the policy from the beginning!”

Although he was talking like this, his eyes had a smug look that seemed to ask, “Do you think you can really succeed?”

I then walked up to the stage with determination and announced the policy. As I expected, the speech was completed without a problem, and the event was a success. But External Affairs paid no gratitude for me making the speech in their place. I felt like I had gained a loss, but it still felt good. Isn’t it better to give the bastard a blow than to feel stressed for not doing anything?

***

I came to the Finance Department to deliver various matters again. I saw a familiar face and approached her. However, I was a bit worried as I got close to her. I did it because I felt unpleasant, but I thought she might hate me because it all happened because of me.

“Deputy Faularner, good day.”

I gathered up my courage and greeted her. She greeted me with the same old smile and warmly welcomed me, “Yes, Secretary Harrant. Welcome. Everyone was waiting for you.”

“Yes?” I replied.

She smiled brightly at my puzzled look and said, “Come on, let’s go. We waited to take the break just for you!”

She dragged me by hand while I stood dumbfounded, and female officials waiting at the resting area cheered as soon as I appeared.

“Yay! She’s here!”

“Welcome, Secretary Harrant!”

I stood puzzled by their grand welcome. Rosaine spoke to me with a smile, “Everyone was deeply touched by your boldness that day. We felt so good seeing you speak on things that we ourselves wanted to say! We all like you a lot.”

Huh? They were touched by what I did? Do they like me? I felt like I am dreaming. Is this real? I’m being looked at so warmly by the same woman? They’re not looking at Elise, but me, right?

While I was numb from the surreal feeling, Rosaine spoke to me again with a laugh, “Actually, we looked up to you even before. You’re the only woman secretary we know. You are always welcome among us.”

I felt very warm because of those words. Maybe I had been way too defensive until now. I truly felt that in order to make good relationships, sometimes courage is a must.

***

“Marina, aren’t you going to the Finance department too often these days?”

I just laughed at Rave. He looked at me for a while, then returned to his work with a smile. Now, I’m living as a government official that I had dreamed of. I can’t say that I won’t succumb to power, like the warning from the first book I read when I took the government official course at the Academy.

However, I’m trying hard not to be a monster, protect the weak, and so that I won’t regret anything anymore, as I can’t dial back time. As I always did, I just need to try as hard as I can as time flows. I’m the master of my own life. So, I need to do my best for myself.

Standing strong against the rain and the wind like the wildflower that grows strongly against hardship. Let’s live by doing my best.