CH 158

Those words made me look straight at the Crown Prince. I didn’t know what he meant, but his eyes made me so embarrassed that I wanted to hide.

“Why are you worried about me?” I felt saddened by the words I said, because I was reminded of what Rey had said, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to know what meaning those eyes had. The answer came right away.

“Because… you’re my assistant on this trip.”

That confirmation made my heart sink. So it is. You just think of me as a skilled officer. His confirmation about what he was thinking of me made my heart ache. Why did it hurt, though? The question came back with an easy answer. I was finally able to realize what the feeling that shook me all this time was.

I have feelings for the Crown Prince… It’s to the point where I have now forgotten about my first love. The reason why I denied this feeling many times was because I wanted to protect myself from being hurt. There’s nothing more heartbreaking than love that can’t be achieved.

“Don’t worry,” I replied.

“Who said I was worried about-”

“There’ll be no problem with tomorrow’s schedule.”

He was about to shout angrily at my first word, but stopped. Those eyes. I decided not to have any wrong ideas about that now. But… Now that I realize it, I’ll do my best.

Yes, Marina. It’s good that I didn’t even dream about false hope. So don’t be disappointed. Let’s do our best for the people I love now and for myself. As he said, I’ll do my best to become the best officer so that I can help him, the man I like, become the best emperor. That’ll also be my ultimate goal.

“I’ll do my best to assist you, Your Highness.” The Crown Prince looked at me for a long time without saying any words until he sighed. He must be worried that I would interrupt our schedule. “So, trust me.”

After a brief silence that felt like an eternity had ended, the Crown Prince spoke, “I always trust you.”

…This is going over the line. Why do you always make me have hope? I wouldn’t even try if you’d just be cold to me.

“You should get some rest.”

After he closed the door as he left, I sat down on the spot. I was destroyed before I even started. But this wasn’t over. I didn’t even think about pursuing this love, which is why I’ve been denying my feelings.

“I like you.”

I felt like I would cry the moment I let that slip out of my mouth. The reason why my heart still hurt was that the person who should listen to this confession was already gone.

The Crown Prince, who everyone says is a nutjob. Of course… I can’t deny that, but every time I see him being unexpectedly kind, every time I see him smiling at me, and every time I feel like he is looking after my feelings, my heart flutters.

The reason why I denied it wasn’t because… I was a fool, but I didn’t want to hurt myself because of rejection. And it was also because it was actually hard to accept my feelings. The difference in our ranks, our appearances, and the feelings between us are different. Hahaha! I suppose there’s not much in the world that works out the way I want. Yes, this isn’t me giving up. I love him in my own way. I will protect him and try my best to make him become a splendid emperor. So that others, aside from me, will come to know his true nature, and he won’t be feared and become a beloved ruler.