Volume 1 - CH 6

Content warning (minor, continuation from last chapter):

Some minor dubious consent since Qin Zhiyuan has sex with Gu Yan while the latter is still suffering from the effects of the drugs, though Gu Yan seems somewhat lucid enough to know/want it from Qin Zhiyuan.

Also, some brief mentions of Gu Yan having been drugged in the past afterwards, but it’s blink and you’ll miss it.

So, yeah, a very quick, mostly nonexplicit sex scene in the beginning of this chapter.

Volume 1, Chapter 6

As Gu Yan spoke, he revealed a smile.

He had practiced in front of a mirror countless times, so it was definitely a flawless smile.

Qin Zhiyuan usually very much liked this well-behaved smile of his, but at this time, upon hearing what he just said to himself, the hands around his waist froze before the other pulled him into an even tighter embrace.

“That’s enough, you don’t need to keep smiling.” Qin Zhiyuan brushed aside Gu Yan’s hair, softly kissing those misty eyes before saying gently, “Let’s go home.”

Gu Yan didn’t remember how they returned to Qin Zhiyuan’s apartment.

The frightening drug’s effects still hadn’t worn off, and his entire body was heated up. He unceasingly rubbed, this way and that, against Qin Zhiyuan’s body and couldn’t even walk without swaying back and forth. He said an innumerable amount of nonsense and, in the end, even tripped and tumbled onto Qin Zhiyuan’s bed, laughing foolishly while staring at the ceiling.

Qin Zhiyuan’s burning body slowly covered his.

A vast array of colors filled Gu Yan’s gaze, and he was completely incapable of seeing Qin Zhiyuan’s face clearly, but the movements sounded as gentle and pleasant as if it was their first time. Qin Zhiyuan tenderly entered his body, kissing all over the marks on his wrists before then whispering next to his ears, “I won’t let this happen again.”

Qin Zhiyuan had always been a man of his word.

The gentler the tone he used, the more determined he was.

Losing himself, Gu Yan cried out and couldn’t help but bite the other’s shoulder. Qin Zhiyuan allowed him to bite, holding up his hands while moving against him, entangling them even closer together, as if wishing to become one.

Within this embrace, Gu Yan reached his climax.

Everything was so beautiful that it seemed like a dream.

And the price for this dream was that he had to lie in bed for more than a week.

This was a matter of course, and it also wasn’t the first time Gu Yan had taken those kinds of drugs, so he knew how bad the side effects were. The fact that it was just a minor illness should’ve already brought a smile to his face. This time, Qin Zhiyuan firmly refused to let him go home alone, and he not only requested leave from the production for him but also found a nurse to come give him an IV for two days.

Gu Yan was happy to freeload, and after a week, his body actually did seem to recover a good bit.

During this time, the Qin Zhiyuan who had always been busy with work suddenly seemed to have a lot of free time, coming home early every day to accompany him. On the occasions when work truly was too busy, this person would sit on the bed with documents in hand to examine.

All right, Gu Yan would concede that he truly had met with danger this time, and it was a danger that was related to Qin Zhiyuan. After all, if this man wasn’t always stringing people along, with such boundless charm, then would Qin Feng have even considered him a love rival? But to behave to this extent still seemed a bit excessive.

It was a pity that every time he protested, Qin Zhiyuan would simply kiss his forehead and reply with that canned answer, “How could I possibly leave a sick person alone?”

He really was the model of a perfect lover.

At that thought, Gu Yan couldn’t help but stare at Qin Zhiyuan.

His gaze was too blatant, and so Qin Zhiyuan had no choice but to raise his head from those documents to ask, “What are you looking at?”

“I’ve been thinking of a very serious question.”

“Hm?”

“Did I milk you dry that night, President Qin?” Or else why hadn’t the other gone out to play for a week and was even simply holding him to sleep?

Qin Zhiyuan laughed in spite of himself and pulled up the blankets to tuck Gu Yan in, saying, “Let’s talk about this after you recover.”

Gu Yan feigned an embarrassed expression and said, extremely perplexed, “But if Master Qin doesn’t want my body, how will I repay you for saving my life?”

Qin Zhiyuan couldn’t stop laughing and had to put his documents aside. After thinking earnestly for a moment, he said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had your cooking.”

Huh? They were suddenly going the ‘playing house’ route?

Qin Zhiyuan had always admired Gu Yan’s skill, but he didn’t like to force others to do something, so as long as Gu Yan didn’t take the initiative to offer, he also wouldn’t mention it. As such, this time truly was a rare event.

The other had plied Gu Yan with good food and drink for over a week, and Gu Yan felt as if he was almost as round as a ball now, so of course he wouldn’t refuse such a small request. Very easily, he nodded and said, “OK, first fill up that refrigerator of yours, then we’ll talk.”

Two days later, Qin Zhiyuan was on break from work and, very early in the morning, drove over to the supermarket, taking the other’s meaning very literally as he actually filled up the entire refrigerator.

When Gu Yan saw this, his eyelids twitched.

With one look, Gu Yan could tell that Boss Qin had never once stepped foot in the kitchen and had no idea how to match dishes, simply buying each and every thing that he himself liked to eat. If Gu Yan really did use all these ingredients, then they’d probably have an entire banquet feast on their hands. After considering the current state of his body, Gu Yan decided to make only a few simple home-cooked dishes.

Qin Zhiyuan was also afraid that he’d tire himself out and so very proactively offered to help out. As a result, after just a few moments, Gu Yan chased Qin Zhiyuan out for fear that the other would blow up the kitchen.

Gu Yan had rested for this long that he felt a bit out of practice. Luckily, his cooking skills hadn’t deteriorated, and the few dishes he made still tasted as wonderful as before. Especially that stir-fried pork, which was truly so soft and tender that even he himself couldn’t help but praise it when he tasted it.

Once the dishes were set on the table, he raised his head to glance at the wall clock and found that he really did spend quite a bit of time.

Qin Zhiyuan had long already run off to who-knew-where, and Gu Yan looked for him everywhere before finally finding him in the study. But he wasn’t looking at documents and was instead packing some miscellaneous books and things away in a cardboard box.

Gu Yan knocked on the door and asked, “Are you busy?”

“No, I’m just cleaning up a bit.” Qin Zhiyuan turned around and smiled at him, saying, “I can smell the food already. I’m just about to finish up here.”

Gu Yan nodded and walked in to take a look. That box had been filled only with notebooks and photo albums. His hands itched, and he carelessly reached over to flip open that topmost album.

Qin Zhiyuan’s expression changed, and he suddenly grabbed the other’s hand.

Gu Yan startled, not knowing what that meant. Qin Zhiyuan continued to tidy up the remaining items, as if he was unconcerned, and said very casually, “You should move into my house.”

He didn’t even look at Gu Yan, but he was still holding the other’s hand extremely tightly that Gu Yan couldn’t even struggle out of it.

For a moment, Gu Yan was at a loss, feeling somewhat hard-up. He actually didn’t approve of this proposal of Qin Zhiyuan’s. If he moved in right now, then later, when he had to move out, it’d be hard to avoid the awkwardness.

And he was the worst at acting out an awkward expression.

But, this was also an opportunity at the same time.

Just like two people playing a chess match, Qin Zhiyuan had already made the first move, so should he advance or should he retreat?

Gu Yan looked around, making a decision very quickly in his heart, but he didn’t hurry to respond to Qin Zhiyuan’s words, simply returning the grip on his hand and saying, “It’s time to eat.”

Qin Zhiyuan nodded and carelessly threw the last book into that cardboard box.

This meal could be considered quite satisfactory, and Qin Zhiyuan generously complimented Gu Yan’s cooking skills. Once he finished eating, Qin Zhiyuan even rolled up his sleeves and took the initiative to walk into the kitchen to wash the dishes. In the end, while he was using a towel to wipe the wetness from his arms, he spoke with deep wistfulness, as if holding himself back, “If only I could eat some sweet-and-sour fish tonight.”

The words were spoken so deliberately that it was nothing like his usual style.

Gu Yan immediately replied, “Do you want me to give you the number for take-out?”

Qin Zhiyuan simply looked at him and smiled.

In the afternoon, Gu Yan sat on the balcony and read. When night fell, in the end, he still made the dish that Qin Zhiyuan had wanted. It couldn’t be helped. After all, the ingredients were already in the fridge, so they couldn’t just let it go to waste.

The following days were the same. The moment the fridge got even the slightest bit empty, a certain someone would fill it up to bursting again, and Gu Yan also became the designated chef without incident. He even began suspecting that he had fallen into a trap. Was Qin Zhiyuan simply looking for a cook? If the other wanted him to take on two jobs at once, then his fees were going to be quite high.

Qin Zhiyuan didn’t bring up the matter of wanting to live together again, while Gu Yan also didn’t bring up the matter of wanting to go home, so the two just naturally began cohabiting like this. It didn’t matter if he didn’t go home. Clothes and shoes and daily necessities were all prepared for him by Qin Zhiyuan. There was nothing that Qin Zhiyuan hadn’t thought of, only things he would never get around to using.

Every single detail had already been properly handled. This person truly was the most gentle and considerate lover.

Gu Yan rested to the fullest for half a month, and it was only when he really couldn’t continue lazing around that he received the approval of Qin Zhiyuan to return to work. The progress of filming had naturally been delayed quite a bit because of his absence as the male lead, but Qin Zhiyuan had long already taken care of everything, and everyone was all smiles when they saw him, even extremely warmly asking after his health.

It was only Zhang Ji who was much more quiet than before, and when the other greeted him, even that sweet smile on his face had disappeared. During breaks, he hid by himself to memorize lines.

Strange, when did this little fox suddenly become so well-behaved?

If gossip was involved, then without a doubt, Xiao-Chen was the one to ask.

Gu Yan simply mentioned it offhand, and Xiao-Chen was already off, babbling up a storm, “How could it be anything else? Isn’t it clear that he offended someone. I heard that he was originally about to release a new album, but he was suppressed so that most of the publicity period passed and even the original scheduled notices were all canceled. No one knows exactly what big company executive he offended. I think he’s most likely going to be suspended.”

Gu Yan said an ‘oh’ in response, immediately realizing what had happened.

That night, when he came back from the nightclub, he didn’t bring up how Qin Feng was able to drug him, but Qin Zhiyuan would’ve easily been able to find out whatever he wanted to know. As for precisely what role Zhang Ji had in the incident, he also didn’t care to investigate. He simply treated the other with the same attitude as in the past and finished shooting the rest of the drama, content with his place.

And Qin Zhiyuan was even more content than he was.

Every day, Qin Zhiyuan would return home from work on time, eat what he had cooked, and sit either in the study looking over documents or on the couch watching TV, only occasionally going out — yes, Qin Zhiyuan would invite him out to watch a show.

Tonight, a famous pianist was holding a concert, and Qin Zhiyuan had long already bought tickets, planning on going together with Gu Yan. The venue’s atmosphere was very good, and the performance was exquisite. By the time the show was over, the night had already darkened considerably, and the slightly cold autumn wind blew by, making people unable to help but be intoxicated.

The car had been parked a bit far, so they slowly walked along the empty streets. Within this dark night, even if two men held hands, no one would be able to see it.

Qin Zhiyuan thereby held Gu Yan’s held, just like he had done that night at the seawall.

Gu Yan felt like he should say something, but after thinking for a long while, in the end, he said, “I haven’t seen anyone calling you recently.”

“Yes.” Qin Zhiyuan’s expression didn’t change as he smiled and said, “Right now is my personal time, and I usually won’t accept any work calls.”

His reply was excellent, simple and neat, clearing away all that past ambiguity completely cleanly.

Gu Yan gracefully accepted his defeat and closed his mouth, no longer speaking.

After walking further, a broken streetlight appeared, with a space that was somewhat darker than its surroundings. When the two people got close, Qin Zhiyuan purposely stopped his steps and pulled Gu Yan into an embrace.

He had given Gu Yan a fright, as he had thrown his entire body over, and Gu Yan felt the other softly breathing by his ears, speaking with a bit of a boyish quality, “I’ll give you something fun to play with.”

As he spoke, he pulled open Gu Yan’s hand and stuffed a certain something into it.

Gu Yan lowered his head to look and discovered that it was a car key.

“Why are you giving this to me?”

“Right now, you’ve moved into my house, and so you’re quite a bit farther from the set. I also can’t send you there every day, so of course I have to get you a decent car.”

The benefits were really great.

Gu Yan thought inwardly, exactly what service was this a reward for again? In the past, he had driven economical, business cars, while right now, when he looked at the brand on that car key, he couldn’t help but let out a whistle in his heart. Ah, when he drove this car to the set, it’d probably make quite a few people jealous.

But it also didn’t matter. Within this kind of circle, not attracting any jealousy was the true failure.

Gu Yan clasped that car key in his hand and very fittingly said some words of thanks.

Qin Zhiyuan smiled, still hugging him without letting go, and said, “If you really want to thank me, then honestly answer this one question for me.”

As such, Gu Yan honestly asked, “What question?”

In contrast, Qin Zhiyuan actually didn’t hurry to ask, simply staring at him with that same intensity. Within the darkness of this twilight, those graceful eyes seemed to be smiling, making people feel like moving close to kiss him.

But Gu Yan didn’t move to kiss.

Because he heard Qin Zhiyuan softly ask, “Do you think it’s too late for a person like me at this age to decide to change my ways?”

What kind of ways was he talking about? What was he reforming?

Gu Yan felt startled upon hearing this. He somewhat understood the other’s meaning, yet he still appeared a bit confused.

Qin Zhiyuan was still quietly waiting for his reply.

Gu Yan had no choice but to speak.

“How could you be too late? There are some people just like you who would let their whole lives pass them by.” He thought for a bit and, thinking that he had said something very scattered, thus tried again, “Yes, of course you aren’t too late.”

That line was what he truly thought; it wasn’t part of any scheme.

Qin Zhiyuan was naturally able to tell and immediately lowered his head for a kiss. The kiss was very intense, his lips meeting Gu Yan’s with bruising strength, the action so forceful that Gu Yan felt a bit sore. Only when he ended the kiss did he realize his own lack of self-control, but he didn’t regret it, simply kneading Gu Yan’s face with a hand and saying, “That’s great. In the past, I missed far too many things, so I was always afraid that I’d be too late.”

As he spoke, he began leading Gu Yan forward again, looking as if he was very happy. He didn’t explain what he meant by those words at all.

…The space he left to the imagination was truly too big.

Gu Yan couldn’t read him.

According to his impression, Qin Zhiyuan had always been gentle and composed, very rarely ever exposing any true thoughts, but this person’s actions tonight were completely different… what kind of omen was this?

He had known Qin Zhiyuan for a long time now. It had already taken him quite a bit of time to get into the other’s bed, and then it had taken even more time after that to become the longest person remaining by his side, among all the various lovers who came and went. Right now, they lacked only that final step. Perhaps, if Gu Yan just stepped forward, then he’d be able to step into Qin Zhiyuan’s heart. Or perhaps, he was simply fooling himself about Qin Zhiyuan’s affections, and the other was separated by a yawning abyss, consigning people to shattering in its depths with a single step.

But Gu Yan knew that he’d continue to walk forward without fail.

No matter how good his plans were, no matter how patient he was, he had already forever lost to Qin Zhiyuan because his heart had been the first to move.

Gu Yan rubbed his forehead, feeling somewhat tired, and when he went home with Qin Zhiyuan, he went to bed quite early. However, he didn’t sleep very well, and in the middle of the night, he was startled awake by a nightmare. The details of the dream were already lost to his memory, but the cold sweat remained on his back.

Afterwards, he tossed and turned, unable to fall back asleep.

Qin Zhiyuan also wasn’t sleeping deeply and was very quickly woken up, reaching out a hand to pull him into an embrace and asking, “What happened? Can’t sleep?”

“A bit. Maybe I ate too much at dinner.”

Qin Zhiyuan laughed in a low voice. “Your food tastes better than the ones made at restaurants.”

Gu Yan said a ‘yes’, taking the praise as if it was expected; he had never been modest about this one skill.

Qin Zhiyuan interest was piqued. While he was originally still half-asleep, at this moment, he felt fully awake and moved a hand to stroke the other’s hair, saying, “If you can’t sleep, then why don’t we talk a bit?”

“Talk about what?”

“Hm, we should talk about you. You’re so quiet usually, and you talk about yourself even less. You should speak a bit more sometimes too.”

The only reason he rarely talked about himself was that a certain person had never bothered to ask.

Right now, Qin Zhiyuan had actually asked, and Gu Yan also didn’t have a reason to put on airs. He originally had a lot of topics that he could talk about, from filming to Zhang Ji, but in the end, he simply said, “I’ve liked cooking since I was little, and I wanted to become a chef when I grew up.”

“And then?”

“And then… I became like I am now.” Gu Yan gave a succinct explanation before kicking Qin Zhiyuan’s leg. “Your turn.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t possibly be the only one speaking, right?”

Qin Zhiyuan was quiet for a while, rubbing his face against the the other’s neck, before saying, “When I was little, I really hated my dad, and what I most wanted to do was run away from home. And I also hated Qin Feng a lot and thought up a bunch of evil pranks to tease him. In the end, I didn’t actually do any of it.”

He very, very softly let out a sigh. “I acted like a good son, a good brother, for more than thirty years.”

“Maybe this is just your personality.”

“Wrong. I just didn’t have the courage, that’s all.” Qin Zhiyuan hugged him from behind, calling his name in a low voice, “Gu Yan, Gu Yan, I’m actually a coward.”

Gu Yan’s heart thumped.

Even if Qin Zhiyuan hadn’t said that, he had long already known it.

He knew that Qin Zhiyuan didn’t easily give out his true affections, so he also hid away his own heart as was expected, becoming able to succeed at everything, able to do anything, staying by the other’s side for the sake of cutting through his hardships.

Gu Yan opened his mouth and, in the end, didn’t say what he had been thinking, instead saying, “It doesn’t matter. No matter when you decide to turn back, you’ll always have the time.”

Qin Zhiyuan didn’t respond, seeming almost as if already asleep, but his hold on Gu Yan hadn’t lessened.

In this embrace, the two of them fell asleep, and as a result, neither of them slept well.

When they got up in the morning, each looked as ugly as the other. Qin Zhiyuan was still safe, since he was simply going to work at the office. But Gu Yan had to shoot so many scenes while on set. The makeup artist had to cover his face with thick layers of powder in order to hide the dark circles under his eyes.

Luckily, the scenes were all relatively easy. One of them had him holding the female lead’s forgotten corsage while sitting in a pavilion, heart missing his beloved, with a few memories interspersed between. This kind of emotional scene was the most tedious, since they wanted him to feign infatuation with an ice-cold face. The more he acted, the more expressionless he became.

After listening to the director explain the scene, Gu Yan sat there playing with the corsage, putting forth a loving expression just as he was told. Midway through filming, he suddenly started thinking about Qin Zhiyuan for some reason.

Thinking of those words that the other had said yesterday.

So that person… more or less had some real affections, right?

His lips moved slightly upwards, and then he suddenly came back to his senses, realizing that his mind had wandered just now.

And the director had already called ‘cut’. “Not bad, not bad, this take passed. Let’s prepare for the next scene.”

The staff members stepped forward to move the props one-by-one, and it was only Gu Yan who stayed foolishly in the same spot, not quite understanding what just happened. Just now, he had passed that scene with only one take. To the terrible actor Gu Yan, this was an extremely rare occurrence. But, what exactly did he act out?

During the free time during his break, Gu Yan went over to watch the rerun with the director. The him captured by the camera was wearing a black uniform, handsome face looking somewhat stern. Although he was turning around the corsage in his hand, his gaze seemed to be unfocused. As he looked and looked, he seemed to think of who-knew-what, and his eyes suddenly softened, a sliver of a smile appearing on his lips.

Like a spring wind melting the snow.

Like a cold, merciless person who suddenly thought of the most tender love, hidden in his heart.

“This is a good place to insert some memories.” The director patted his shoulder in satisfaction. “You did pretty well this time. Let’s continue like this.”

Gu Yan couldn’t make a sound. He raised a hand to pinch his cheeks, feeling a headache coming on. When had his acting become so good? Was it a real smile or a fake one… even he himself couldn’t tell anymore.

If Qin Zhiyuan saw this kind of expression, how could he even continue acting? Gu Yan realized that he had been slacking off too often recently. Qin Zhiyuan’s recent changes had probably influenced his mood, and he had gotten further and further away from his previous professional dedication.

Not good, not good, he should fix his state of mind.

However, despite his thoughts, when worked ended, the director informed him that filming was already more than halfway through, and that next month they’d start filming on location. It was going to be in the neighboring city’s scenic district, and the plan was to stay there for about a month.

Was it considered good or bad that he was leaving Qin Zhiyuan at this time? Perhaps, Qin Zhiyuan had truly changed his ways, or maybe when he returned from his trip, he’d see a certain someone parading around town while holding another person.

Gu Yan was somewhat worried, and when he went  home to tell Qin Zhiyuan, the other also expressed some regret, “It looks like I’ll have to live on instant noodles that month.”

Gu Yan smiled upon hearing this. “There’s lots of good restaurants out there.”

Qin Zhiyuan patted his shoulder and said, “But no one to go with me to eat.”

Gu Yan actually couldn’t reply.

Qin Zhiyuan then loudly proclaimed that he wanted to have a midnight snack.

Gu Yan had recently become slightly addicted to cooking, and his hands truly itched to make something right now, so he went into the kitchen to hand-make some shumai[1], the skin especially thin, with pork meat mixed in with shrimp, the fragrance overflowing the moment it was ready. When he filled up a plate and brought it to the study, he found Qin Zhiyuan looking through some materials, though it wasn’t documents from the office but rather renderings for interior home renovations.

Gu Yan shot those a few glances and asked, “What? You want to renovate the house?”

“Yes, I don’t really like the current style.” Qin Zhiyuan waved a hand at him and said, “Give me some suggestions.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular?”

Qin Zhiyuan picked up the chopsticks and started eating as he seriously thought it over. “It’d be best if it… felt like a home.”

Gu Yen let out a laugh. “That kind of description is too abstract.”

Qin Zhiyuan raised his head to look at the other and said, “Everything else doesn’t really matter, but the kitchen has to be completely rebuilt. It’d be best if it was much bigger than it is now, and to change the style to an open-concept one[2], so we can fit in all these kitchen appliances.”

Once he said that, he flipped open to the information on some high-end kitchen appliance series and showed them to Gu Yan.

As Gu Yan looked through the list, he found that all of it was in the European style. Never mind the prices, just the number of appliances itself was shocking. This person couldn’t really be planning on buying all of these, right?

While Qin Zhiyuan spoke about how he was going to remodel the kitchen like this or that, his smiling gaze was focused entirely on Gu Yan, almost as if he was trying to grasp the other’s heart.

Gu Yan felt as if his heart was seizing tight, and it took him a long while before he said, “So it turns out that President Qin has decided to open a restaurant.”

“Then are you willing to be the head chef?”

This kind of proposal was truly too enticing, and Gu Yan was completely unable to refuse it. He thereupon hugged Qin Zhiyuan by the waist and initiated a kiss, responding in an ambiguous voice, “I have to know if the benefits are good enough first.”

And so the renovation plans were decided just like that. The bedroom and study were going to be mostly untouched, with the focus on the living room and kitchen. The construction team had also already been contacted, and they were to start when Gu Yan left on his trip. When he returned, the renovations should be mostly finished as well.

On the day he left, he had to be at the designated meeting place early in the morning. So for an entire night, Qin Zhiyuan had helped Gu Yan pack his luggage, getting all his clothes and necessities ready, and had even woke up early the next day to drive him there.

Gu Yan didn’t have to worry about anything at all, and even on the road, he listened to Qin Zhiyuan incessantly saying, “It’s almost winter, and the weather in the mountains is even colder, so remember to wear more layers… Eat all three meals a day on time, and if anything happens, just give me a call…”

Gu Yan nodded and agreed to everything.

He didn’t have many requests for Qin Zhiyuan. He simply wished that, when he came back from filming, he wouldn’t have to witness a cliché scene of catching two people in the act.

Yes, especially not in that house with the luxurious kitchen.

There was no traffic on the way there, and they very quickly reached the meeting place. Gu Yan waved and said goodbye to Qin Zhiyuan, grabbing his luggage and getting out of the car. He had just walked a few steps when Qin Zhiyuan hurried to catch up, taking off a scarf and winding it around his neck.

Since this was a public meeting place, this kind of action already looked far too intimate.

Qin Zhiyuan was a person who paid a lot of attention to appearances, so there was no way he hadn’t noticed, but he had done it so naturally, just like that time when they first met and he had taken off his jacket to drape it over Gu Yan.

It was only a force of habit.

But it was enough to cause the other person to fall deeply.

Gu Yan stood in that place for a while before he gently wound that scarf tighter around his neck. He felt as if the palms of his hands were warm, almost as if he was able to touch Qin Zhiyuan’s own body heat. He did not dare to wish for a deep, abiding love; he simply wanted a bit of warm fondness, that’s all.

Just like a moth throwing itself into the flames.

Just like him walking towards Qin Zhiyuan.

[1] Shumai is a kind of dumpling, sort of. Wikipedia has a page on it. I’m most familiar with it as a dish at dim sum. Oh, and for those wondering, for things like shumai (or xiaolongbao), the thinner the skin = the more skillful the chef. 

[2] OK, so this might be a bit of an unnecessary explanation but: kitchens in China/Taiwan are typically “closed” (as in, they’re a separate room by itself), very much unlike kitchens in America which tend to be at least somewhat “open” (as in, you can see into them from the living room). Open-concept kitchens are generally still considered very “western” and are often a purposeful renovation decision. 

Ah, Qin Zhiyuan, Qin Zhiyuan…

I’m so eager to get to volume 2, you don’t even know LOL.