Volume 2 - CH 14

In which Qin Zhiyuan lies to a doctor to get more information. (oﾟ□ﾟ)o That’s no good, kids! Remember, lying is bad!!

Volume 2, Chapter 14

Qin Zhiyuan didn’t remember how he hung up the phone.

He seemed to have asked a few more things regarding Gu Yan’s injury, but how clearly could things be explained over the phone? In the end, the only thing he could do was hang up the phone. And then he sat blankly on his bed, feeling as if his head was entirely empty. Only after a long time had passed was he finally able to straighten out the information that he had just heard.

Gu Yan’s hand was injured in the car accident.

His naturally knew this. He remembered that Gu Yan’s right arm had suffered a fracture and that his palm had also been pierced through by a tree branch.

Gu Yan’s injury hadn’t recovered and still needed to go through long-term treatment.

I-impossible!

After he regained consciousness, he had specially gone to ask the doctor about Gu Yan’s injury and had been told that it was a light one; even Gu Yan had smiled and said it was fine. At least compared to Zhao Xin’s, that injury really couldn’t be considered too serious. And then when Gu Yan was discharged, he also personally went to pick up that person.

It was only that the injury was on the right hand… the right hand…

The right hand that Gu Yan used to cook!

Qin Zhiyuan’s eyes twitched, and he suddenly bolted upright, a thin layer of cold sweat covering his back.

How long has it been since Gu Yan’s been in the kitchen to cook?

He really couldn’t remember.

It seemed like… it had been since right around the time of the car accident.

Qin Zhiyuan did his best to recall the details, remembering that sometimes, while speaking, Gu Yan would unconsciously grab his right hand. He had believed that was a small, insignificant gesture and had never thought much of it before or considered what the actual meaning behind that movement was.

Qin Zhiyuan felt like the room was suffocating.

He walked over to open the window, wanting to use that as a pretext to steady himself, but of course it had no effect. His heart was a complete mess, and he couldn’t help but grab his cellphone to dial Gu Yan’s number.

Gu Yan had already turned off his phone.

Qin Zhiyuan looked at the wall clock and realized that it was already midnight, so the only thing he could do was wait until tomorrow.

This kind of night was especially difficult to bear.

Qin Zhiyuan tossed and turned in bed, remembering that Gu Yan very rarely talked about himself, and the few times he did, he simply mentioned that he used to have a dream. Even after he had endured that much pain, suffered that many wrongs, he had still kept that one unchanging dream.

If Gu Yan was no longer able to cook in the future…

Qin Zhiyuan didn’t dare to think about that.

The next morning, he was woken up by a nightmare. When he woke, he didn’t remember the details of what he dreamt, but he knew that he had called out Gu Yan’s name several times. He hurried to call Gu Yan, but unexpectedly, the phone was still off. In the end, he found the manager to ask, and only then did he learn that Lin Jiarui’s new movie had already quietly began filming. Since Gu Yan was most likely on set, his phone was always turned off.

At this time, Qin Zhiyuan finally calmed down a bit and, knowing that he shouldn’t disturb Gu Yan at work, directly drove over to the other’s restaurant. He asked everyone the same question and received the same answer from all of them: since the car accident, although Gu Yan had been in the kitchen, he had never again personally cooked.

Since the facts were so clear, what else was there to doubt?

Should he blame Gu Yan for hiding things too deeply, not even mentioning such a thing had happened? Or should he blame himself for not caring about Gu Yan at all? For the sake of treating Zhao Xin, he had even specially contacted a specialist overseas and even took several months off work to go abroad with that person. But how did he treat Gu Yan? He simply believed that Gu Yan had recovered completely from that injury, and he didn’t have any idea about the lingering aftereffects. He had never even… once taken a good look at the injury on Gu Yan’s palm.

He had begrudged Gu Yan for being too heartless, not even giving him a chance, moving out from his house so easily.

So it turned out that the most heartless person was him.

That afternoon, Qin Zhiyuan went to the hospital.

Gu Yan’s primary physician was a pudgy middle-aged man with a pair of spectacles on the bridge of his nose, looking especially friendly. For the sake of asking about Gu Yan’s actual situation, Qin Zhiyuan once again pretended to be Gu Yan’s family member and said that he was an older cousin. Since at the time when the car accident happened, he had been sent to the hospital at the same time as Gu Yan, the other party completely didn’t suspect him of lying at all.

The doctor flipped open some medical records and very conscientiously explained the state of Gu Yan’s injury. Although the person used a few specialized medical terms, the ultimate conclusion was just this: Gu Yan’s injury isn’t too serious, but because some nerves had been damaged, it was impossible to recover fully; the only thing that could be done was to do his best with physical therapy and rehab in order to reach a state that the patient was satisfied with.

Qin Zhiyuan had long already prepared his heart, but even so, his mouth still felt bitter once he had finished listening, and he asked, “Is there really no way?”

“In theory, it’s impossible to cure it completely.” The doctor pushed up his glasses and said, “Actually, the state of the patient’s recovery is quite good, and most of the right hand’s functions have recovered, so usually there’d be no need for continued therapy. But Mr. Gu’s situation is a bit special, since he said himself that he’s a chef, so he still needs…”

“Still needs to hold a kitchen knife.” When Qin Zhiyuan finished the back half of that sentence, he discovered that his voice had turned hoarse enough that it sounded like a stranger’s.

“Yes, it’ll be a bit difficult to get to that kind of level. After all, his palm was pierced by a tree branch and then later stitched up many times.” The doctor shook his head and said with some regret, “Even after his right arm was fractured, he still went to block a tree branch. Even if he was trying to save someone, it’s still a much too reckless thing to do.”

Save? Someone?!

Even though the car accident had happened so long ago, this was still the first time that Qin Zhiyuan had heard someone mention such a thing. His entire heart was stuck in his throat as he asked, “Blocking a tree branch? Saving someone? Who was Gu Yan trying to save?”

His tone was far too emotional, and the doctor startled upon hearing it before shooting him a strange glance, saying, “It wasn’t like I was there at the scene of the accident, so how could I know the details? Besides, it happened quite some time ago, so it’s also possible that I remembered wrong.”

After a pause, he muttered, “I just remember a patient mention blocking a tree branch before, saying that he was trying to save an important person, and laughing while he was saying it too. I also don’t know if that was your cousin.”

Laughing as he was saying it?

Wasn’t this like how, every time he went to visit Gu Yan in the hospital, the other had laughed and said it was nothing?

Gu Yan had always hidden the most important things in his heart. How could people say that he didn’t have any acting skills? He clearly had outstanding acting skills, enough to fool anyone.

Qin Zhiyuan’s heart was pounding. He connected the doctor’s words to Gu Yan’s injury and was able to guess roughly what had happened, but he didn’t dare to think too deeply. In these past two days, he had suffered far too many shocks that even his legs felt soft and his steps had become unsteady.

The doctor was very responsible and continued to chat with him about the injury on Gu Yan’s right hand for a while longer before finally saying, “You should still have your cousin continue his treatment. This kind of injury can be healed only with slow, hard work. Even if it can’t completely recover, it can still be healed about eighty or ninety percent.”

Qin Zhiyuan said his thanks, and when he left the hospital, he was completely beside himself in a daze.

That car accident had also been a knot in his own heart.

After everything had happened, he had done his best not to think back to that moment, but now he couldn’t do anything but think it over. Actually, only a few people were present at the scene — the chauffeur and Zhao Xin had been injured the most seriously, while his own luck had been good so he had simply been knocked unconscious, and then there was Gu Yan with the injured right hand as well as… Zhang Ji?

Qin Zhiyuan hadn’t thought of that name in a long time, and even the other’s appearance in his memory was already blurry, but this person might know the truth. Regardless, it was still early, so Qin Zhiyuan found someone to ask about Zhang Ji’s address and then directly drove over there.

Recently, Zhang Ji had been living in quite dire straits.

Since he had also been involved in that car accident and knew too many secrets, he couldn’t avoid being seen as an irritating presence, and Qin Zhiyuan had practically stopped bothering with him. He also hadn’t been particularly popular in the first place and had simply been a recently debuted little singer. Without a new album or any television appearances, the populace quickly forgot about him, and so the only thing he could do was occasionally appear on the rare variety show.

Zhang Ji lived in a neither new nor old apartment building, and although the place was small, it was quite tidy. When he walked out the door, he was wearing an old-fashioned sweatshirt. Since he was young, he was still good-looking even when he wasn’t dressed up at all, and after all his experiences, he even looked much more steady than before.

Upon seeing Qin Zhiyuan, Zhang Ji clearly startled. “President Qin, why are you here?”

“Mn, I have a few things I want to ask you.” Qin Zhiyuan had come very suddenly, not at all like his usual style, but his heart was currently churning, and he was utterly incapable of paying attention to such things now.

He was simply waiting for one answer.

Would it allow his heart to calm, or simply sink him deeper?

So when he was allowed inside by Zhang Ji, he didn’t even bother with the basic courtesies and got right to the point, asking about what had happened during the car accident last year.

Zhang Ji lowered his head to think and said, “I don’t remember a lot of things very clearly anymore.”

“It’s fine. Just say what you do remember.”

Zhang Ji was a clever person; he knew what he should say and what he shouldn’t say. He didn’t mention Zhao Xin by name at all, simply saying, “It was almost midnight that day, and I was originally looking out the window when I suddenly heard a bang sound. It seemed like the car had skidded and crashed into the tree by the side of the road, and then I suddenly saw Yan-ge being flung over here, on top of me.”

Qin Zhiyuan also remembered that. At the time, the passenger’s seat side was far more dangerous, and he had been sitting right behind it, so he had pushed Gu Yan over and then thrown himself at Zhao Xin. He had also heard that rumbling sound, as if something was pressing down on the car, but he quickly lost consciousness.

He didn’t want to hear Zhang Ji’s long-winded recollection and picked out the main point to ask, “What happened after I lost consciousness?”

“The broken tree trunk smashed down and even changed the shape of the car roof, especially the seat you were in, President Qin. There was a tree branch…”

“What was it?”

“A tree branch pressed down and almost stabbed you in the eye, President Qin, so Yan-ge used his own hand to block it. His palm was pierced through in an instant, and blood was everywhere, but he insistently held on to it and wouldn’t let go…” Upon speaking to here, Zhang Ji seemed to recall that bloody image and couldn’t help but shiver.

Qin Zhiyuan felt as if a piercing pain was stabbing into his heart.

He raised a hand to rub at his brows and asked, “And then?”

“And then the ambulance came.”

“How long did it take to get there?”

“It wasn’t too long.”

Qin Zhiyuan stared fixedly at him.

Zhang Ji immediately shrank away and honestly replied, “It was raining that day, and the car crash also happened in a remote place, so we probably waited around twenty or so minutes.”

Qin Zhiyuan couldn’t imagine such a scene.

In that warped and twisted car, Gu Yan had also jumped forward to save him, heedless of the danger.

The tree branch had pierced through his right, cooking hand, and the blood had dripped down onto his beloved person’s face, while he had just learned that this person’s heart held another.

How did he manage to endure those twenty minutes?

In front of his eyes, he watched his love ripped to shreds, his dream becoming more and more distant, while the heart that he had personally dug out had been ruthlessly stepped underfoot by the other person.

Qin Zhiyuan sat on Zhang Ji’s sofa for half an hour.

Upon seeing that he wasn’t speaking, Zhang Ji then also carefully didn’t dare to speak, simply refilling the tea in his cup.

Qin Zhiyuan sucked in a deep breath and slowly finished drinking that tea before then standing up and saying, the picture of politeness, “I really troubled you today.”

“Ah… It’s no trouble.” Zhang Ji also stood up and asked, “Does President Qin want to stay for a meal?”

“No need.” Qin Zhiyuan reached out a hand to pat his shoulder and said, “When you have time, you should give your manager a call. I seem to remember that you haven’t had any work in a long time. If you stay idle at home like this for much longer, then you’ll be quickly forgotten by your audience.”

Zhang Ji was blank for a moment before understanding dawned, and his eyes immediately brightened. His youthful face was matched with a sweet smile, an appearance that was very capable of touching people’s hearts.

But Qin Zhiyuan simply thought it strange. Why did he used to think that Zhang Ji and Gu Yan were alike?

They really were extremely different.

Only after Qin Zhiyuan left Zhang Ji’s house did he throw aside the fake smile on his face as he walked, step by step, to his car. The sky had long already darkened, and he had missed dinnertime, but he actually wasn’t the least bit hungry. Instead, he simply felt as if he wasn’t able to control his longing for a certain person.

Perhaps he would never again be able to eat that person’s cooking.

Only now did Qin Zhiyuan realize that, while he wasn’t paying attention, he had overlooked a person who loved him dearly.

He drove his car directly to Gu Yan’s house.

But he didn’t go upstairs to knock on that door and simply sat in his car while he gave Gu Yan a call. This time, Gu Yan finally had his phone on, and it rang only two times before he picked it up, saying a very simple, “Hello.”

This familiar voice suddenly made Qin Zhiyuan unable to speak. From the car window, he looked out at the apartment building, searching for the window to Gu Yan’s room.

Gu Yan said ‘hello’ a few more times before asking, “Do you need me for anything?”

Qin Zhiyuan finally found Gu Yan’s window, the saffron light visible from within, appearing both warm and cozy — just like a home.

He once had that opportunity.

Only just a bit more, and he could’ve obtained all of this.

Qin Zhiyuan wearily leaned against his seat, sticking the cellphone close to his ear, listening attentively to the sound of Gu Yan speaking, but he himself didn’t say a single word.

Gu Yan gradually fell silent and also similarly stopped speaking a word.

The phone transmitted only shallow breathing.

Qin Zhiyuan remembered a time when Gu Yan had gone to film in A City and the two of them had called at least once a day. He always waited for Gu Yan to hang up first, and Gu Yan always felt reluctant to do so. Perhaps it was the illusion brought by love, that even this quiet, silent time could become so sweet.

Qin Zhiyuan seemed to have returned to that time, practically about to believe that a lifetime would pass just like this.

However, Gu Yan suddenly spoke, “If there’s nothing, then I’ll hang up first.”

Qin Zhiyuan was pulled back to reality and hurriedly shouted, “Gu Yan!”

“Hm?”

“Today I went to the hospital, and the doctor said that you hadn’t gone to treat your right hand for a long time.”

Gu Yan made an ‘ah’ sound and said, “I haven’t found the time recently, so I ended up forgetting.”

“I also went to see Zhang Ji and asked him about what happened during the car accident, so I know that you got injured while saving me… Why didn’t you ever mention it?”

Gu Yan turned quiet.

He originally could’ve said, “There wasn’t any time to mention it,” or “There wasn’t any point.” No matter how mocking he was, Qin Zhiyuan could accept it. But he instead insisted on generously saying, “All it did was leave a scar on my hand, that’s all. It’s nothing really serious. Anyway, it’s not like my hand looked good in the first place.”

Gu Yan let out a low laugh on the other end of the call. “Yes, at least it’s not as good-looking as your eye.”

Qin Zhiyuan however was even more emotional than he was. “But ever since the car accident, you’ve never personally cooked anything, and your hand might never be able to…”

As quick as lightning, Gu Yan cut him short, “What did you think after you learned all that? Guilty? Grateful? Or did you think that I was really pitiful since my dream could no longer come true? If it was any of that, then you can save it.”

“Gu Yan…”

“Why don’t you try guessing what I was thinking.” Gu Yan was still laughing like that and said, in a soft voice, “At that time, I had only one thought: thank heavens that the person I love is safe and sound.”

Qin Zhiyuan shuddered from head to toe, grabbing tightly onto the phone in his hand.

It was when Gu Yan’s love was at its deepest that he’d hide those feelings deep down in his heart, not allowing others to see even a hint of it. But now that time had passed and everything had changed, he was actually able to lay it all out in the open.

And then he said good night to Qin Zhiyuan.

Qin Zhiyuan heard the phone beeping with the disconnect tone and saw that Gu Yan’s room light had also been turned off. No matter how wide he opened his eyes, he saw only a large expanse of black. He didn’t call Gu Yan back, simply sitting in that car and resting for a while, before then driving himself home. The house was cold and quiet, just like a hotel room without the least bit of human warmth, and that newly renovated luxurious kitchen was especially conspicuous.

This had been renovated before the car accident. Qin Zhiyuan had once imagined Gu Yan cooking in this place, but right now he didn’t imagine anything. He simply took off his suit, unhurriedly rolled up his shirt sleeves, and then smashed every single thing in that kitchen one by one.

He was an incurable perfectionist.

He had played the role of a good son, a good brother, for over thirty years.

But he had again and again forgotten himself for the sake of Gu Yan.

Even as Qin Zhiyuan was destroying everything, he still acted very calm and methodical, and since his house also had excellent soundproofing, he didn’t cause much of a disturbance in the middle of the night. After he made a complete mess of the kitchen, he finally stopped in satisfaction and walked away to turn on the TV.

It wasn’t until Gu Yan’s face appeared on the screen that Qin Zhiyuan’s entire mood utterly collapsed.

He slowly sat down in that pile of ruins, hand holding onto the remote, as he watched the Gu Yan on screen say ‘I love you’ over and over. As if, just like this, time would be able to stop at that moment when Gu Yan loved him the most.

At that time, the car accident still hadn’t happened.

At that time, the truth still hadn’t been exposed.

At that time… he still hadn’t destroyed this person’s love and dreams.

Wow, you know it’s 2013 when people actually turn off their phones LOL.

Anyway, only one chapter today, sorry. Work has been busier than I expected, and I won’t be able to keep ahead of updates at this rate. I might switch back to 2x daily soon, since the weekend is coming up, but we’ll see.