CH 75

“Speaking of taking care of you, I was wondering …… if Towa-kun and Katou-san have known each other for a long time?

“Yeah? Why all of a sudden?”

“When I met him at your house before, he brought his cleaning tools with him and he seemed to have visited your house many times.”

“Oh, I understand. ……. You mean that.”

It is true that before Rin came, Kenichi used to come to my house once in a while to take out the trash and clean the house.

In addition, he also gave me rice balls from the convenience store…….

But this?

“It’s not just about Kenichi taking care of me, is it?”

“Sure, you’re right about that, but ……”

“Right?”

I sipped my tea and looked sideways at Rin, who seemed unsure of what to say.

“…But he seems to be having fun when he’s talking to Towa-kun.”

“Hmmm. Well, I’ve known him for a long time, so I do talk to him to a certain extent. It was only last year that I started to talk to him as much as I do now.”

“When you say last year, you mean when you were in middle school, right ……?　Did something happen to trigger it?”

“No, I can’t think of anything. ……”

Kenichi is the center of a crowded group of friends.

He is the male version of Rin.

He has no flaws whatsoever.

He is a person who takes good care of everyone and treats everyone equally. ……

Perhaps that’s why he treats people like me normally.

It’s like he can’t leave me alone when I’m standing out in class.

I don’t know why I’m like this either.

I can’t help but think …… about it, but I can’t remember.

“…… Yes. What about you, Rin?”

“What do you mean?”

She tilted her head in a cute way and looked up at me.

” I know you talk to a lot of people at school. The one you get along with the best is Fuji-san, right? I was wondering how long you’ve known each other.”

“…That’s right. I’ve known Kotone since we were kids, so we’ve been together for as long as I can remember.”

“Really? That’s new to me.”

“Our parents are very close. We even go on family trips together.”

“So, Fuji-san is the best friend Rin has ever had.”

The moment I said the word “best friend”, Rin frowned.

I tilted my head and stared straight into Rin’s face.

“Did I say something weird ……?”

“No, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about. ……”

“Is it about being best friends?”

“Yes. I don’t think you need to ask. I don’t think I need to confirm that. But if I had to put it into words, I’d say are ‘best friends’.”

“Uh, can’t you just call them normal friends or best friends?”

‘Yes, I suppose I can ……. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with saying that. However, I honestly don’t like saying “friend” or “best friend” because it makes the relationship seem superficial and insignificant. …… I don’t like it, to be honest.”

“Superficial …?”

“Yes. This kind of relationship is not tangible, so it is more like a “feeling” than a word. In other words, I think it’s more like a feeling.”

“I see.”

“That’s why I feel anxious because I cannot understand and cannot see …… and that’s why I want to share and resolve my anxiety.”

“……I understand your point …….”

Is there anyone in my life that I can confidently say is my friend?

The answer is no.

I don’t talk to many people to begin with, but if you ask me if I can call someone I’ve talked to a …… friend, I can’t. Of course, I can’t.

I don’t know how they feel.

There is no way to know what they are thinking.

There is no proof that the word “friend” is true.

Words are nothing more than a verbal exchange of what you say or don’t say.

“This is just my opinion. In fact, there are many things that you can’t understand unless you ask. …… But there is always the conflict between ”I’m afraid to hear it” and ”I’m afraid not to hear it”.”

Rin then smiled as if it was nothing.

However, it seemed to be a somewhat lonely expression, and the color of her eyes seemed to be wavering.

I want to know.

But I’m too afraid to know.

If I asked, …… the result would not necessarily be good.

——So, I’m just scared.

I’m sure Rin has her own thoughts on the matter.

Maybe that’s why she’s not fully formed an expression.

Rin took a few small deep breaths and changed her expression.

Then she looked at me and smiled.

“So, the relationship between you and Kato-san is good, right?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“From my point of view, a relationship like that between Towa-kun and Kato-san is a good friendship. I feel like you communicate with each other even if you don’t say anything to each other.”

“I wonder if that’s how it is. From my point of view, it’s like we have a rotten relationship and he’s always getting the best of me by guessing all my thoughts.”

” Hmmm. You’re right, that’s one aspect. But I think it can be said that it is a casual relationship where you can talk to each other without hesitation.”

“Well, that depends on how you look at it.”

I didn’t know that, it looks like that to some people.

I’ve never really thought about it.

“I think the relationship between Towa-kun and Kato-san is somewhat similar to the relationship between me and Kotone.”

“Similar ……? Hmmm. Well, it’s true that Fuji-san is not shy about cutting right to the chase. Is that what you mean?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean. I’m the kind of person who, for better or worse, is seen as perfect. ……”

In the case of Rin, however, I’m convinced that she’s right.

In fact, her specs are so high that you could almost say she is perfect.　 Therefore, there is no one who could possibly criticize Rin.

But that’s just perfection on the surface. In reality…

“For better or worse. From my point of view, there are a lot of things that you might be missing.”

“Fufu. Kotone often tells me that.”

“I bet.”

“But the only ones who can point out such things to me are Towa-kun and Kotone. The ones who scold me and teach me things ……”

She blushed a little and smiled shyly as she said this.

“So, I’m happy. Someone who tells me what I can’t do and sees me as I am.”

Someone who accepts you for who you are.

Someone who sees you as you are.

Someone who sees the truth instead of the false.

Indeed, that would be a great thing.

It’s so much easier when you don’t have to make things up.

Well, feel free to tell me if you need anything in the future.”

“Fufu. I’d love to.”

She smiled happily and I gave a small laugh.

She never gets annoyed with me for pointing out things that are wrong, but accepts them as being wrong.

She even said, “If there’s anything wrong, please let me know.” This is the reason why Rin seems to be such a fascinating person.

This massive amount of ambition …… is amazing.

I’m in trouble, I really am….

There’s nothing I can dislike about her. ….