CH 36

Cold and dark.

It was the first thought he had. Then came the frustration. He was out of breath. It felt like his lungs were collapsing. Or the feeling that something was about to burst in his lungs.

Yulif unconsciously opened his mouth to make up for the lack of breath. Gah, as soon as he inhaled, cold water rushed over instead of the fresh air he had been hoping for. He couldn’t spit it out so he swallowed it. Then he became even more out of breath.

‘Here…… Where?’

Yulif opened his eyes. There was only darkness, complete darkness. But it was as if a small light was twinkling from a distant place up there. Perhaps it was the moon in the sky.

He remembered throwing himself into the lake.

Waves wrapped around his body as if they were alive. The feeling of being pulled down was not very good.

He had to get out.

His instinct to live said.

He needed to find Canaren.

The instinct for another life called out.

‘Canaren.’

Preceding everything that existed in the world, above any value. It was something that could be forgotten.

But it’s something he couldn’t afford.

Sad and lovely.

It was amazing. His strength, which had gone away, was returning just by thinking of her. Yulif forced his arms and legs to move. He parted the current little by little and his body floated up. He was approaching the light that earlier had only seemed distant.

Let’s go to the surface once first. He would pick up his breath, then go back in to find Canaren.

She should not last long. The water that touched his skin was very cold.

Canaren said she was very good at swimming. Hence, being unable to get out on her own meant that things were not going well. Either she lost consciousness, or her limbs were tied.

At this moment.

‘Why am I so sure Canaren is a good swimmer?’

She was from a race that lived in the forest. It was natural to think she should be very good at swimming too.

But his thoughts were not guesswork. He was convinced that she was a very good swimmer. As if he saw her skills firsthand.

“Yulif, my proud brother.”

Deltinus’ voice came suddenly. A much younger and clearer voice than now.

It was when he and Yulif were 10 or 11-years-old.

He saw Deltinus with a gloomy expression in front of his eyes.

Yulif stopped the limbs that were dividing the lake. His hardened head from not being able to breathe for a long time seemed to cause hallucinations. With that, he had to swim up even more diligently, but he couldn’t move as if he was chained up.

The memories that had been buried on the other side of the subconscious were vividly unfolded.

“I have a request. I dropped the jewel Mom gave me into the lake. I’m not good at swimming, but you can use magic…… Won’t you find it for me?”

It’s really precious. Deltinus cried. Young Yulif readily accepted the request.

If he thought about it carefully, there were so many strange things.

The lake was too deep and wide for a kid to find things. And there were plenty of adults around Deltinus who could find the jewel for him.

But Yulif willingly headed to the lake.

It was because of his mother’s wish that he would get along well with his brother. He wanted to make his mother, who was already restless because of his brother’s worries, a little more comfortable.

The moment young Yulif stood on the shore of the lake, something touched his ankle with a click. At the same time, a strong hand pushed Yulif into the water.

“Die there. No one knows. You’re alone.”

Splash! Cold water continued to flow through his mouth and nose. Yulif, who was struggling, noticed that his body was sinking again and again against his will. Attached to his ankle was a metal ball used to restrict the movement of a prisoner. A metal ball the size of Yulif’s head was pulling him down.

He tried to break the chains with magic, but it was unsuccessful. Confused, he drank too much water.

‘To die like this.’

Yulif thought blankly.

He didn’t know anything else, and his heart ached. He just wanted to breathe properly. He was in pain.

The water was so deep that it was dark as if it was night, even though it was midday. The damp darkness was terrifying.

For the first time, he felt a sense of helplessness. He was upset that he couldn’t do anything with his own abilities. He learned to swim, but to no avail. A heavy iron ball and damp waves dragged him to the bottom.

‘Somebody help me’

Yulif, who had never asked for help after his awakening, desperately reached his hand out. The bright water continued to drift away. His consciousness also quickly faded.

‘Oh, it’s really like this.’

‘So I’ll die’

His eyes closed.

The young Yulif prayed one last time in his dying consciousness.

‘If someone saves me, I’ll give you anything you want. I will become the strongest wizard in the world and grant any wish.’

‘Please save me.’

‘……Hoo…… Hah…… Ugh!’

A golden light fluttered in the water. It was hair, as if made by melting sunlight. Yulif instinctively knew whose hair it belonged to.

Canaren.

Yulif opened his eyes. Unknowingly, he had closed his eyes. His breathing body was forcibly severing his hallucination.

The old memories that suddenly came to mind were different from reality. He became a really strong wizard, and there was no iron ball restraining him.

Still, Yulif could not climb up. That day, he miraculously survived, but his body was engraved with the fear of death. Fear suppressed even instinct and was leading Yulif to death.

Only his parents and Deltinus, who tried to drown him, knew he was afraid of water.

It was the same as back then. Deltinus really wanted to kill him — Die, there is no one who knows, you’re alone.

No. He couldn’t die yet. If he died now, Canaren would be left alone. Without him to protect her, she would lead a painful and unhappy life. A bird with torn wings, body and mind full of wounds, she would die without anyone knowing in a cage.

One foolish past was enough. That was why he jumped into the water. He knew it was going to be like this, but he had no choice but to do it. He didn’t want to regret.

Suddenly, a thought crossed his mind.

How did he miraculously survive back then? Someone saved him…….

Thoughts came and went without bearings.

The moment he squeezed and swung his arm with magical power, his intestines overturned. His mouth, which had been tightly shut, opened and a silent scream erupted. Bubbles loaded with screams rose.

Death was not frightening. For him, death was a matter of time.

He couldn’t be afraid of death that came sooner.

He was just worried about Canaren being left alone.

His vision flickered. Yulif saw something in his increasingly dark vision.

It was a very pleasant illusion of Canaren grabbing his hand and pulling him up.

*******

“Yulif, calm down. Can you hear me? Yulif!”

Canaren slapped Yulif on the cheek.

She slapped his pale cheeks so hard that it turned red, but his tightly closed eyes showed no sign of opening. His lips, which never had a good color to begin with, were almost blue-purple.

She brought her ear to Yulif’s chest.

‘Please, please!’

Fortunately, his heart was beating slightly. But the pulsation was so weak that it didn’t surprise her if it stopped.

Every summer in the village, there were one or two children who fell into the water. It was because they underestimated the depth of a river or lake that suddenly swelled due to the rainy season. Canaren had the experience of rescuing such children several times. Not only because she was well versed in how to deal with it, but also because of the special abilities she possessed.

But she hesitated in front of Yulif, who had lost consciousness.

Considering her situation, she had to leave right away. Yulif was chasing her after her, and she had to spend her time and powers to save him. Once she used her ability, she would be exhausted, making it impossible to escape from here into the night.

‘So, that’s why. You must abandon Yulif.’

‘If you go away, Yulif will die.’

‘Wouldn’t that be a good thing.  It was a great opportunity to reduce the number of people obsessed with me.’

Canaren was startled that she thought this way. She used to think she would never have thought so.

She must have been tainted by the cruel emperor. The fact that she was becoming someone like him was terrifying.

She shook his body.

“I…… I don’t know. What to do?”

A self-contained mournful voice leaked out.

She already knew the answer. She knew what decision she would make.

She knew it, but it was painful. So she kept trying to postpone my decision. But she knew she didn’t have much time. Yulif’s body, wrapped in wet clothes and exposed to the night wind, was getting colder.

“I’ll come whenever and wherever you are.”

Yulif kept his promise. He showed up whenever Deltinus was about to give her a hard time.

“I’ll let you fly. If that is comforting to you.”

If it wasn’t for that comfort, she might have given up on everything.

“Pretty. Really.”

Her heart fluttered whenever she heard him say she was pretty. It wasn’t because she liked being called pretty. Every time Yulif said those words, his eyes softened gently, it felt good.

“If you know a song, will you sing it to me?”

She liked how he sat in front of the piano, even though he had an unwilling expression. She was happy to feel the tenderness contained in the delicate melody. He gave her yet another unforgettable comfort.

“You are a troublemaker. Are you satisfied now?”

There was always herself in his eyes when he made a beautiful smile. It could have been a crooked, unknown obsession, but it was also true that it gave a strange sense of fullness.

She hated him. She resented him for not letting her go. But she didn’t want him to die.

‘I don’t want you to die. I just want you to live and give up on me. So it’s why I’m trying to save you. That’s it.’

“I am paying off my debt. Yes, that’s it.”

Canaren raised his sharp chin. Without hesitation, she leaned over and pressed her lips onto his.