CH 86

Right before her nose, Mussa’s face clouded over as if in a fog of hers. Canaren? His voice calling out to herself was muffled as if it were coming from afar beyond her wall. The feeling had faded. She felt her body sinking down as she sat on the hard, cold floor.

Yulif’s words to endure only three months came to mind now. She now understood why Yulif was so kind to Rena. He was thinking about what would happen after the marriage was over.

The curiosity aroused by the Hwira women was gone in three months. She was a lousy duchess who had nothing and was of no use to anything, who couldn’t even invite other ladies to a tea party, and who wasn’t even half as good.

But Rena would be different. She was said to be the daughter of a county. She had only met her once briefly in the dining room, but she was well-groomed and exuded disciplined grace. She didn’t have that, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t have it. If she were her, she was left to do enough of her duties as a duchess.

「I, I… I.」

There were tears at the end of Canaren’s stuttering voice. Muasa closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. Afterwhich, he carefully wrapped around Canaren’s hand holding the cloak.

「Leave this castle with me.」

「…What?」

「I’ll help you, so we can go out together. It will be difficult to return to the village right now, but if that person loses interest, he will no longer seek you. Until then, we’ll hide and wait, and when it’s quiet, let’s go to the village.」

「Muasa, I… I don’t…」

She didn’t like this. He was just a good friend. So she didn’t think it’s right for him to try so hard for her or for the two of them to run away.

At that moment, a heavy voice that flew from the darkness answered on behalf of Canaren.

“It’s a pity.”

It was Yulif. His figure walking out of the shadows seemed to break through the darkness. The bright blue eyes were closer to those of a beast, not a human.

Yulif shook Muasa’s hand, which was holding Canaren. Then he glared at Muasa and grabbed Canaren in a flash.

“My wife cannot step out of the castle.”

A terrible silence passed. Canaren looked at Muasa and Yulif who were facing each other in turn.

Muasa had a bloody expression on his face, as if he was about to jump right in and swing his fist. Yulif looked dry on the outside, perhaps because of his bright blue eyes, but a cold energy seemed to flow through him.

Cold. Why was it so cold? Canaren did not think that the cause of the chill was the living life emanating from Yulif. But she was so cold that she unknowingly wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

She was startled by the heat of his body against the frozen atmosphere.

Yulif shifted his gaze and looked at her. Strength entered the arms that held her, and their two bodies came closer together. The hard hands on her back were so hot it felt like her skin was burning.

It didn’t hurt. However, strange heat rose from the place he touched, and a tickling sensation ran down her back, making it hard to bear. Canaren called him softly. Strangely, a groaning voice leaked out.

“Yulif…?”

「I didn’t ask you, I asked Canaren.」

“It seems you didn’t understand what I was saying. My wife cannot leave the castle. No matter who comes, no matter how many, it’s impossible. Still, if you want to hear an answer, I’ll let you know. Canaren.”

“Yes…”

“Do you want to run away with Muasa?”

“No.”

“Canaren!”

Canaren answered without hesitation in the slightest. Muasa called her name like he was screaming.

While Canaren felt sorry for the abandoned, wounded-eyed Muasa, she thought they were in a similar situation. Because Muasa was rejected by her, and she was rejected by Yulif. Although she has been rejected several times, she would not give up her tenacious affection and would hang around him, holding her hopes and disappointment again.

Canaren felt even more sorry for that. She knew Muasa’s feelings better than anyone else. But she also knew. She knew that there were times when certain despair was better than vague hope. What Muasa needed was not false consolation or hope, but an accurate and painful reality.

“I am not running away. Whatever happens.”

「You can’t stay here. Only you will end up hurting. That human wouldn’t even blink an eye even if you were unhappy!」

「Thanks for your concern, Muasa. but I’m really fine. It wasn’t unexpected…」

It was a lie. She thought Yulif would push her away, but how could she have expected another woman to intervene between her and him? Canaren lied casually and smiled at Muasa. She clasped Yulif’s neck tightly as she looked proud, and rested her head on his shoulder.

Her face contorted with pain.

「I already made up my mind before we got married. Even if I’m unhappy, I’ll be by Yulif’s side. So stop worrying about me and go back to the village. The adults will be concerned.」

「Is that person so important that you want to stay by his side even while tormenting yourself?」

“…My answer is final. Come on, Yulif.”

As soon as Canaren’s whisper was over, she and Yulif went out of the garden. She thought he would drop her off in the hallway and leave, but he continued walking, holding her.

As they walked down the hallway, Canaren closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Every time she did, the thick scent of his body soaked into the air.

Because of Yulif’s wide strides, the two reached her room quickly. Yulif stood in front of the closed door, slowly loosening his arms and trying to get her down.

It was a pity that his warm embrace and thick body scent, which had made her forget her sorrow for a while, were far away. Canaren clung to him like a child.

“A little bit longer… Please stay like this a little longer.”

“I cannot.”

Yulif was desperately determined. Canaren held him tight and tried to hold on, but he freed her arms around her neck all too easily.

The door opened without obstruction. If it was locked up, she could have had more time.

“If you come out alone again, I will change your escort. I’m letting you know.”

“Yes… Um, Yulif. One last thing.”

Canaren entered her room and looked up at him through the crack of the door. Yulif nodded his head lightly, as if asking her to speak.

“Muasa really didn’t do anything. I have no intention of leaving the castle. Therefore…”

“Are you going to ask me to forgive him?”

“Can’t I?”

It was difficult to tell what he was thinking by looking at Yulif’s face, half immersed in the subtle darkness. Canaren clasped her hands to overcome her nervousness.

In fact, what Muasa did was not easily forgiven. It’s not enough that he sneaked into the castle, because he tried to kidnap the duchess in the middle of the night. It was not strange for Yulif to be angry with her.

“Don’t do that. It would be a shame if he lost his life because of something that’s impossible anyway.”

“Go and sleep now.” 

Yulif closed the door first from the other side. Reluctantly, Canaren hung her cloak on a chair and returned to her bed to lay down. As she relaxed and wrapped in her warm blanket, her frozen body melted and her sleepiness quickly poured out.

Her darkened consciousness was questioned for a moment. Because of what Yulif said.

‘Yulif is definitely saying ‘I can’t’, not ‘I can’t go out’, right? He said it was impossible anyway… Why would you say that?’

It sounded like she couldn’t even if she wanted to get out of the castle. Strange.

Canaren’s consciousness was cut off there.