CH 91

Deltinus rolled his head as he walked through the well-maintained hallways without a single dust, but he had no choice but to ask the servants.

Just then, a maid came out of the room after cleaning. Looking at her young face with freckles, he thought she could not doubt that he was the emperor.

“There you are.”

“Yes? Oh, my lord! Excuse me. How can I help you?”

“Have you not seen Rena?”

“Oh… it seemed like she was going to the chapel.”

“Guide me.”

“What? Oh yes!”

It’s a chapel. It appeared that she had a chance to pray to God in a leisurely manner while handling the entrusted work from time to time.

Deltinus followed her maid, thinking that if he met Rena, he should slap her cheek first. The chapel was in a remote location, so they had to walk for a long time. With each step he took, Deltinus began to feel bad.

As soon as she reached the entrance to the chapel, the maid felt Deltinus’ unusual atmosphere and quickly returned to her earlier duties. Deltinus slammed the closed door open and looked inside with his earnest eyes. It was easy for him to find Rena alone in the chapel. He jumped in and grabbed the shoulder of Rena, who had her eyes closed, and turned her around.

“Who would do such a rude thing… Your Grace?”

“You don’t even know who is holding your leash, seeing that you’re praying. Do you think that God will save you?”

Even if it wasn’t, Rena’s eyes, which had been wide open, now seemed to pop out with just one blink. One corner of Deltinus’s lips twisted. Pak! Rena fell to the floor of the chapel with a bloody sound. She clasped her cheeks that had been beaten by Deltinus, and her body shook. Her shock was even greater because she did not expect the crazy emperor would even come to the ducal castle, not even in her dreams.

“Rena Harrodsell.”

“Ah, ugh!”

Deltinus grabbed Rena’s hair as she collapsed. Rena’s face was dyed blue in fear that her scalp was about to be ripped off. Deltinus commanded, pulling her hair from side to side.

“Go to Canaren.”

*******

At that time, Canaren was receiving ‘special training on dignity’ from Roana and Derek.

The eccentric name of the dignified special training was given by Canaren herself, and she was a manifestation of her determination not to overtake Rena.

Roana and Derek, who would have insisted that there was no need at other times, and that the lord would like Canaren as long as he was breathing on the floor like weeds, did not do so this time.

It was true that Yulif showed a curious level of consideration to Rena. Canaren had even witnessed it firsthand, so there was no point in appeasing her with his lies.

In the end, the two helped to train with dignity as Canaren asked. To be precise, only Derek helped, and Roana was next to her, looking into Yulif’s pocket watch, exclaiming, ‘Good job!’, ‘That’s great!’ and ‘That’s it!’

“Great. Don’t move, just pull your chin slightly.”

“Like this?”

“You were too tight. Do not bend your back or lower back! Stretch!”

“Er… like this?”

“No, your chin is lifted. Eyes! Don’t open your eyes like that! Squeeze your eyelids! Turn them to me!”

Derek was almost shouting. Canaren suddenly became sad. She hated her body for flopping like fish out of her control over and over again, and she hated Derek for not giving her a single compliment, even though he served as her one-day teacher. She hated Roana, too, for fiddling with the clock, lying on the table, saying it wasn’t her business.

Everyone was too much, but the one she hated the most was Yulif. Yulif also appeared in the dining room this morning with Rena. He held her hand, pulled her chair himself, and gave her his gaze several times during her meal. He had an attitude like he couldn’t even see Canaren.

Although Canaren was happy to be able to meet him like this, she was sad and disappointed by his attitude. Like the front and back of a coin, Canaren realized that just as much hatred was hidden behind her affection, there was love for Yulif.

“…I’m going to get some cold water.”

“Why are you leaving, Madam Canaren? I can go, you stay here.”

“No. I’m going to get some refreshments and snacks too. It’s close, so I’ll come back soon.”

Canaren quickly ran away from the room before Roana and Derek followed her. She didn’t want to be with anyone right now.

She walked slowly down the quiet hallway. Not long ago, a kitchen dedicated to dessert was created at the eastern end of her room. Chef George, who was in charge of the duke’s meal, came to say hello to her as a patissier and worked there. Without even imagining that it was a place Yulif created on purpose so that she could eat whatever dessert she wanted, Canaren went in and out of the dessert kitchen several times a day.

She had just passed the spiral staircase in the middle of the hallway. Canaren found two familiar people at the landing below. It was Yulif and Rena.

Rena stood with her back against the wall, with Yulif’s arm wrapped around her waist. Canaren, like a statue, was frozen in place.

After breakfast, Yulif left the dining room by himself saying he had something to do. Why, why was he there with Rena? Has he already returned? Did he run into Rena over there as soon as he returned? Or did he find Rena first?

“D-Duke. Someone might be watching…….”

Rena’s whispers to Yulif were terribly clear as if they were talking right next to her. The feathers by Canaren’s ears quivered.

She didn’t want to see. She wanted to run away. But she didn’t move, as if her feet were tied to something of hers, as if she were a stone. Then it would have been better if she closed her eyes, but she couldn’t lift a finger as if her whole body had turned to ice.

Yuliif silently touched Rena’s face with his hand. His elongated, luscious fingers moved her forehead, bridge of the nose, under her eyes, and her lips as if painted over. Rena closed her eyes. As if waiting, Yulif brought his lips to her forehead.

N-No. Please please… Don’t do that, Yulif.

Canaren bit her lower lip hard. Of course, her silent cries were not transmitted, and Yulif’s lips went lower and lower cruelly. His lips traced the place where his fingers were fumbling, but more intensely and slowly. From the bridge of her nose to under her eyes and then to her lips. His other hand lifted the hem of the voluminous dress and rested on Rena’s thigh nestled inside it. Just before Yulif’s and Rena’s lips met, a sound leaked out of Canaren’s mouth.

“Ah, Ugh…”

The two of her looked at her at the same time at a sound that sounded like her crying or a moan that could not stand her pain.

The gaze that pierced her skin hurt like a knife. In particular, as soon as she met Yulif’s purple eyes, her breath was choked. The purple eyes brimming with burning desire were too foreign to Canaren.

Because he’s never looked at her like that. Why does he look at her like that… Just why.

Falling in love with Yulif, a deep and large hole was pierced in Canaren’s heart. The joy that Yulif gave and the sadness that was engulfed by Yulif were a hole dug in waves like the ebb and flow. Canaren’s heart would fall there several times a day, and then she would bounce back.

And now, her heart was falling endlessly. Canaren realized that there was a deeper floor inside that hole.

Canaren tried to win his heart. It was a love that she couldn’t give up even after receiving Yulif’s cold proposal. However, her heart, which had been extremely weakened by Rena, collapsed in an instant. She tried to build something by herself, but her heart was swept away by the rough waves, and she crumbled like a sandcastle.

The reason was overshadowed by her broken emotions, and she could not make a proper judgment. So she didn’t recognize the Deltinus at all, which she had recognized easily other times.

“…Oh no.”

Canaren covered her mouth with both hands and ran. She didn’t know where she was and she just moved forward as her legs moved. She was good wherever she could be, if only she could get away from Yulif, whose eyes of his lust she had never seen before, which he had never turned to herself.

Her instinct to run away made her spread the wings that had been hidden within her body. But even if she spread her wings, she had nowhere to fly. Her feathers fell with tears from her eyes.

“Ugh, ah…!”

The blind run ended when it was placed at a wall. Canaren sat down against the wall and she wept quietly. She said that she couldn’t even make a sound when she was in so much pain, and she was right. Her chest ached, and her heart, which had been plunged into an endless abyss, was so far away that she could not breathe.

Hurt. Her whole body hurt, but her chest hurt the most. She wanted to cut out her heart if she could.

In front of Rena, Yulif was exuding a strange heat. Was it the same Yulif? On her wedding day, in the bell tower… the Yulif who coldly refused to kiss her?

She knew how to kiss him first. She knew how to look with such hot eyes, so why didn’t he do that to her? She was the one he usually looks at with those eyes. She didn’t care if he chose her because she resembled his old love. Then even more so… Yulif was supposed to look at her.

‘I want Yulif, why doesn’t Yulif want me?’

“Ugh, uh-hugh.”

Canaren grabbed her chest. His arms around Rena’s waist and his hands caressing Rena seemed very natural. Rena, who accepted Yulif, worried that someone might come, but she didn’t show any particular dislike.

This wasn’t the first time. Maybe he did something similar every day after Rena came? Perhaps even on the day he wore his black uniform, as soon as he returned from seeing to his business, he ran to Rena, kissed her, and hugged her tenderly.

“Haa…”

Her wings trembled along her trembling shoulders and back. Canaren understood. That the position of a duchess would not guarantee her anything. This was why Rena told her she didn’t want the seat

In the ducal castle, Yulif’s affection was the most important here. The wife he didn’t want was literally his doll sitting in his closet. It was safe inside the glass, but Yulif’s warmth and affection were nowhere to be felt.

Ugly. She, who was locked up in such a place and wandered around excitedly as the duchess.

‘Rena.’

Yulif’s voice calling out Rena’s name in the dining room hit her ears like an echo.

‘I hate hearing it. I hate to hear…!’ Canaren covered her ears with her hands and wrapped her wings around her body like a cocoon. Darkness and stillness, like her death, overtook her.

Like this, she wanted to disappear from the world without anyone knowing.