CH 103

Their lips met again. A startled Canaren biting her lower lip opened her mouth to accept him. It wasn’t enough for him to shove his tongue deep into her narrow, damp mouth. He made a pointless noise and sucked on her thick tongue. Even her dripping saliva was sweet. But in this moment, a ray of reason remained, so Yulif grabbed the bedsheet instead of Canaren’s chest.

“Ah… Hah.”

Canaren let out a sweet moan, her back shaking. Although terrified of his overbearing and violent kiss, she responded honestly. Yulif loved her like crazy. No matter what he did to her, he loved her to the fullest. Both in the past and in the present. The overflowing love turned into a powerful lust. Yulif raised his muscular thighs firmly and sandwiched them between her legs. Canaren’s high-pitched moan was eaten by him.

His thighs moved slowly back and forth. Canaren shook her head every time his thighs were rubbed in between her clothes. This was a very bizarre act, both blatant and cautious at the same time. Even though their genitals didn’t touch, and even his bare skin didn’t, a strange excitement rose. Because what he wanted was so well communicated. Yulif wanted her. He wanted Canaren, and it was so good it was unbelievable.

“Ha, Yul… lif…”

Then, Canaren rubbed her vagina against his thighs, and Yulif’s penis became swollen and stiff. Yulif uttered a short swear word and turned Canaren over. Canaren, who buried her face into the pillow without knowing why, was surprised by the big hand that grabbed her buttocks. But more than that, he was rubbing himself back and forth between her thighs and buttocks..

The hard flesh between the open hips. It wasn’t hard to guess what it was, it was definitely Yulif’s penis, and it seemed like it was going to break through the clothes. Yulif pressed himself close to Canaren’s back. And he rubbed himself between her thighs, hips, and back.

“Ah, hah, Yul, Yulif…?”

Canaren’s moans mixed with gasps. Her body was stiff. Everything was new to her.

Yulif thought he was no different from the emperor who forcibly imprisoned her. But he couldn’t stop. He thought, perhaps it was a relief. Because he shouldn’t remain a good person to Canaren.

Between the sounds of rubbing fabric, Canaren’s gasps mixed with the low moans and breaths of Yulif. An erotic hip thrust followed, as if shaking the waist after insertion. Soon, Yulif’s pants and Canaren’s dress and underwear were soaked with moisture.

Concentrating on the body scent and warmth, Yulif couldn’t think of anything at this moment. Whether it was his own body that was running out of time allowed, or the emperor who was sharpening his blade towards him in the Imperial Palace, or the tens of thousands of soldiers he summoned.

Wouldn’t it be great if Canaren’s room was everything in the world? How wonderful it would be if there were only him and her in this world. Without any thoughts, without any guilt, without any pain, looking only at her and living only for her. What a vain and happy wish that she would smile happily next to him. Just imagining it makes his heart flutter. It seemed like his eyes were going to go blind. Violent joy burned his heart pure white.

‘I want to leave a mark on you. Proof that I was once by your side, very close. Proof that I loved you with all my body and soul. It was only a fleeting moment, but nevertheless, proof that I was your husband. Proof that you were my wife. Biting and licking the thin white neck, no, on your body, on your heart, on your soul, an unforgettable, indelible mark. I don’t want to leave you.’

‘So that no one dares to covet you after I am no longer in this world. You are only mine.’

“Ugh, ah.”

Unable to bear it any longer, Yulif dropped his lips to the nape of her luscious neck. It was the second he opened his mouth, raised his teeth, and tried to nibble the back of her neck.

Reason, which had clouded his desire, returned. At the same time he realized what he was trying to do. It was his own greed. It was very petty and childish jealousy and possessiveness. If it was for Canaren’s happiness, it wouldn’t have happened. The fact that he had already kissed her and mixed his breath with hers made him overflow with anger towards himself.

He was about to die soon. For what reason did he want her?

Yulif removed his lips and hurriedly got up. As the heat that seemed to have pierced her thin underwear instantly dissipated, Canaren rubbed her body and looked up at Yulif.

“Canaren.”

His voice was terribly broken in the cry that reached the top of his neck. Neither Yulif nor Canaren cared. The two focused their minds on looking into each other’s eyes.

Canaren’s golden eyes were transparent and beautiful. Did his eyes look like that too? Yulif’s eyes were like the night sky. Yulif took out a compliment she had given him one day and replayed it.

He had a huge library in his mind. The words Canaren said, her gestures, her gaze, and the dress she wore that day. All his memories of her were piled up there like books. They were precious memories. Those were beautiful memories.

Therefore, Yulif was not afraid of death. He wasn’t even agitated. Canaren said she couldn’t be happy with him by his side. Only when he disappeared would Canaren’s happiness be complete.

‘Canaren. My love. My hope. My salvation. My bright light. My sweet song. My little and precious bird. My master. My lover. My wife.’

‘Be happy now, you’re free. May you be loved without being hurt by those who value you.’

“I’m so sorry.”

‘I’m sorry that I love you.  I’m sorry that I wanted you. I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry I left you alone.’

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t let you go until the end. Don’t forgive me’

‘Good bye. All my beginnings and endings.’

“Yulif, what…!”

Suddenly her eyes clouded. Her eyelids slowly closed as if someone was forcibly pulling her. Yulif’s magic…! Just before her eyes were fully closed and she sank beneath her conscious mind, Canaren felt a warm drop of water dripping down her cheek.

‘Yulif, are you crying? Why are you crying?’

At the end of that thought, Canaren fell asleep.

*******

Returning to the office, Yulif released Count Enderk and called Derek and Roana. The road before him was a road from which he could never return. There was no way back, whether alive or dead. After death, as he was the duke and owner of Pionia, many problems would arise. For those who would be left behind, for the sake of Canaren, he intended to tell Derek and Roana what to do.

“Things pertaining to Canaren are in the top right drawer. Complete those first.”

“…All right.”

“Be sure to have a doctor examine her. If she wants to live as a duchess, let her do so, and if she wants freedom, go through the process of annulling the marriage. Without needing the emperor’s permission, it would be easier. The empress will help too.”

“…Did you push without permission to do this?”

Yulif laughed silently. Derek was moved to tears at the smile that seemed to put everything down. He couldn’t even imagine when this damn boss was preparing to die.

It was a shame to have a heavy mouth. Did it make sense for a person who was called ‘lord’ and ‘duke’ to carry everything on his shoulders and endure all alone?

“If there is anything she wants, give it all to her. This castle or whatever. Give her everything she wants.”

“What if she wants the lord? Are you telling me to save you? Can I use black magic to revive you?”

Roana grinned. She has been like that ever since Yulif confessed that he was going to die soon. As sadness and the sense of betrayal interlocked, it seemed that rational thinking did not occur at all.

Derek looked at Roana in worry. As she poured her wrath on Yulif, it was she, herself who was hurting. He seemed to see through Roana, but knowing her, she couldn’t possibly quit.

“Even if you try to revive me with black magic, you must have a corpse or a soul.”

“Yes?”

“I wish I could tell you right now. Don’t try to find my body. You won’t find it anyway.”

“This … You damn bastard!”

“No, Roana! Do not!”

With a glare, Roana spewed fire and rushed to Yulif. Derek stopped her with his whole body, eventually forcing her down onto a chair, far away from the lord. Roana shrieked at him and wailed.

“”Are you having fun making a fool of yourself? Are you excited? That you are going to die?”

“I’ve never made a fool of myself.”

“Don’t bullshit! Telling me to keep my eyes open and watch you die while vomiting blood, and now, telling me to not even look for the body anymore? Sure, the lord will be gone, but what about us? What about Canaren? Don’t you know her personality? If you don’t even have a body, would she believe you are dead? I won’t believe it. I don’t even trust this empire!”

Derek couldn’t stop Roana from pouring out thoughts through tears and shouts. Tears were dripping down from his eyes too.

Yulif had a dry expression as always. Whether they cry or laugh or say anything, he will die. A serene voice was heard as an auditory hallucination, and Roana became more agitated and saddened.

The tiny hairs on Roana’s body stood up just thinking of Canaren after Yulif’s death. If even herself, who didn’t love the lord at all, was like this, how much of a shock Canaren would receive. 

“It might be better for her to die with you, Lord. She will never forget you for the rest of her life, and she will search for your corpse. She will certainly have vain hopes that you might still be alive. She won’t eat properly, and she won’t get enough sleep, so she’ll dry up like an old tree. You want me to look at her like that? I can’t see that! I don’t want to see that!”

“It might be for a moment. But with time it will be fine. Don’t let Canaren die. This is your last mission.”

She must never die so that she could surely live and be happy.

“If she can’t forget me, feed her this.”

Yulif took out a small vial from the drawer. Staring at the clear liquid like water in a glass bottle, he swung the bottle forward.

“It’s a drug that erases memories.”

“Hey, you’re really crazy…”

With tired eyes, Roana let out a sigh. The lord even prepared a drug that could erase one’s memories. He was prepared to be completely erased from Canaren’s life. Just for him to save her.

“Now you know? All wizards who have reached the heights are insane. Roana, aren’t you crazy to some extent too?”

Seeing him even joking in a light tone, it seemed he was really near his deathbed. Roana rubbed her eyes roughly with her sleeve, wiping the tears away. Derek took the vial and handed it to Roana.

“Derek, Ocard. You’ve worked hard all this time.”

With a faint smile, Yulif looked at the two dazed people who had their mouths open.

Loyal and reliable subordinates, and to a certain extent, friends. They would keep his secrets. They would faithfully fulfill the duties they had been forced to take over and protect Canaren’s future.

“Please, for Canaren. I want her to have fun too.”

“…Ugh.”

The tears that had barely stopped erupted again. Derek shuddered and started weeping, while Roana jumped up and stood looking at the wall, pounding her head against the wall, holding back her sobs.

Yulif waited quietly for the two of them to calm down. It was not a bad feeling to see people mourning his death and crying with such sincerity. He was glad his life wasn’t in vain.

“As the lord’s lieutenant, I will do my best to assist you until the very end.”

“Yes.”

“…Should I stay here and protect Canaren?”

“You know well.”

The crying had subsided. Yulif got up from his seat and grabbed the net that was hanging from his robe. It was time to cut off the bitter ties with the damn emperor that had been going on since birth.

After one glance around his office, which he would never see again, he said,

“Bring Count Enderk. I will go to the Imperial Palace.”