CH 66

In the late 1980s, Jiang Yu was born in a small county town in the southern region.

Her mother was the daughter of a farmer, who dropped out of junior high school and had little education, but she had some attractiveness. In her early teens, she went to work in the county town and met a man named Jiang Jianyin, who ran a small shop.

He not only ran a small shop but was also a highly skilled chef.

At that time, there was a popular saying: "It's better to sell tea bags than to develop atomic bombs." This meant that during that era, a wave of entrepreneurial opportunities swept across the country. There were opportunities everywhere, as long as you dared to venture and work hard, you could earn abundant wealth. Engaging in small business ventures was more profitable than engaging in scientific research and academia.

At that time, her father was considered a desirable catch. He was tall, had a decent appearance, and had some money. There were quite a few women who liked him.

After her mother married him, many people around them envied her and said she had married well, that it was true love, and that their future would surely be prosperous.

If it wasn't true love, why would such a desirable catch choose her among many suitors? Her mother firmly believed in this.

But during her pregnancy, her father cheated on her.

For her mother, who had no education or experience, this was like her world collapsing. She had to find a way to fix it. She often heard people around her say, "Once he has a child, he will settle down." So she pinned all her hopes on the unborn child.

And that's how Jiang Yu came into this world.

She was a girl.

However, her mother wanted a boy to salvage their marriage and make up for her "heaven."

She named her Jiang Wanyin, implying "reclaiming Jianyin*."

*挽回建因 (Wan Hui Jian Yin)

It's simple and easy to understand.

But her father didn't change his ways because of Jiang Yu's birth. On the contrary, the situation became increasingly worse. The family would have major fights every three days and minor arguments every five days. Jiang Yu's life before the age of five was spent in endless quarrels and physical abuse.

Unable to control her father, her mother took out her anger on Jiang Yu, controlling and mistreating her. She watched the little girl being bullied without the ability to fight back, deriving a sense of pleasure that drove her mad.

When Jiang Yu turned five, everything came to an end.

Her parents divorced, and no one wanted her. She was abandoned with her grandmother and lived in the countryside for several years.

Her grandmother disliked her and made her do a lot of work every day—carrying water, chopping firewood, chasing chickens, feeding ducks. If she couldn't finish her tasks, she wasn't allowed to eat. Whenever she misbehaved, her grandmother would drag her into a small black house in the woods. She would go hungry and thirsty for a day, but she would eventually surrender.

It wasn't until she turned ten that her long-lost mother suddenly returned. Her mother had remarried a local repairman and had a son. She needed someone to help take care of him and thought of her daughter, who was living in the countryside.

Jiang Yu was brought into a reorganized family.

She thought she had escaped the nightmare, but she had only jumped into another one.

At her grandmother's house, she was just doing chores. But here, in addition to the housework, she had to cater to her younger brother. She became his servant, taking care of his every need while receiving no kindness in return. She bore the brunt of the blame for everything that went wrong and endured countless scoldings and beatings.

Her mother especially despised her name but refused to change it. She said it was to remember the heartless scoundrel and treated Jiang Yu as a shame. Additionally, because she grew taller than her peers and had a broad frame from a young age, people always said she didn't look like a girl and that she wouldn't be able to find a husband in the future. They disliked her and resented her.

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4738582

This translation is originally posted on

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When she graduated from junior high school, her mother wanted her to attend a vocational school to learn a trade and start working early. However, she had already been accepted into the best high school in the county. Knowing that she had little power as an individual and that the school didn't want to lose a promising student, she mobilized all external forces she could, including teachers and the community, and spent several days convincing her mother.

Although she successfully attended high school, Jiang Yu didn't have an easy time during those three years. The tuition was "borrowed" from her mother, which she had to repay in the future. She would eat plain steamed buns with leftover vegetables, and the money to buy study materials came from collecting and selling bottles. The school uniform she wore for three years always had her mother's old clothes underneath.

Her already fragile self-esteem was completely shattered during those three years.

At that time, her biggest dream was to escape, to leave this suffocating place. So she gritted her teeth, held onto her stubbornness, endured and waited for graduation.

Finally, she made it to her final year of high school. The day before the college entrance exam, everything at home was calm. Her mother even told her to do well in the exam. However, on the morning of the exam day, she was locked in her room...

That was the abyss of her life, but also the turning point of her life.

With a train ticket, Jiang Yu escaped from the small county town to the big city. Without education or background, she could only do odd jobs. She worked as a dish-washer in restaurants and on assembly lines in factories. Later, by a fortunate coincidence, she registered for a modeling competition with a prize of 3,000 yuan.

She was tall and slim, with clear and distinct facial features, which happened to meet the registration requirements. Since she didn't know what else to do, she thought she might as well give it a try.

It was this attempt that changed her destiny.

Before she escaped from home, she secretly took her household registration book and changed her name.

She hoped that no matter how many storms she would face in the future, she would be safe and sound. So she chose the character "Yu" for her name, a very neutral character, also intending to break free from the gender stereotypes that had brought her pain since childhood.

She, Jiang Yu, had only a biological sex, not a social gender. She was first and foremost a human being, and then a woman.

If her birth was meant to please others, she would live for herself.

For more than a decade, she ventured outside, from an unknown freelance model to an international supermodel. Her career was a beam of light that illuminated her dark and empty life, allowing her to undergo a transformation and find her true self. It had been a long time, so long that she thought she had emerged from the darkness of the past.

But in reality, she had only temporarily forgotten.

The old name was like a thorn in her heart, a proof of her former lowly existence, a shame that she could never erase in her lifetime.

Rabbits are herbivores, and she was born in the Year of the Rabbit, but she wasn't one to be docile. Every time she saw the name "Jiang Wanyin," it reminded her deeply to keep moving forward and never look back.

...

Outside the window, the sky grew darker, while the lights of tall buildings shone brightly.

Jiang Yu felt stiff and cold all over. The thin sheets of paper in her hand were creased from being tightly held. She stared at the three characters "Jiang Wan Yin" and her shoulders couldn't stop trembling.

A mist of tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.

This is her humiliation, her disgrace, her desperate attempt to hide her disheveled state, known only to those closest and most trusted by her. And Cheng Suran, the canary she raised, recklessly barged in like this.

Her dignity, her barriers, shattered in an instant, revealing her true wretched self. At that moment, she suddenly felt lost, with nowhere to escape...

Jiang Yu fell onto the bed, her vision gradually blurred, warm liquid lingering in her eyes for a while before finally falling.

—plap

Tears fell directly onto the three characters "Jiang Wan Yin."

Born to please others.

Unwanted and unloved.

What good is the glittering and glamorous appearance when your inner world remains desolate, relying on indulgence to get through each day? You have no interest or understanding of this world and its people, so your arrogance is fragile and easily shattered.

You possess only a lonely and aloof heart of glass.

Jiang Yu muttered to herself in her mind.

The sky had turned completely dark, and the dim light outside seeped into the room like entering the depths of the sea—dim, still, without a sound.

A suffocating and oppressive feeling gripped her throat.

Trembling, Jiang Yu stood up, wiped her face, hastily folded a few papers and stuffed them into her bag. The mere thought of Cheng Suran waiting outside to witness her embarrassment made her unwilling to stay even for a second longer.

She abandoned her suitcase, rushed out with her head down, and hastily entered the elevator as if escaping.

The living room was empty, devoid of any presence.

...

On this chilly early winter night, the cold wind pierced through, penetrating into her collar.

The driver had gone back; she was supposed to come back tomorrow morning, but Jiang Yu just wanted to return home immediately. Unable to wait and call for someone, she flagged down a taxi right outside the hotel's entrance.

She traveled the entire way in a daze.

Upon arriving home, Xiao Zhou and the nanny were having their dinner. They weren't surprised to see her suddenly return. The nanny immediately wanted to help her get her ingredients—Jiang Yu usually cooked her own dinner at home, eating little and in a casual manner.

"I've already eaten, you don't need to bother," Jiang Yu walked past the dining room expressionlessly and went inside like a gust of wind.

The master bedroom area had a three-part layout. The outermost part was the main dressing area, the middle section was the bathroom, and the deepest part contained the large bed. Outside the dressing area, there was a sliding door that, when closed, would separate the entire area and create an independent living space.

This was the safe zone she had designed for herself.

Jiang Yu stepped into the dressing area and pressed the button on the wall. The two large doors slowly closed, making a "click" sound as they locked, enveloping her heart within the safety barrier.

Passing through the bathroom and entering the bedroom, she turned on the lights, closed the second door, and locked it. Finally, she was completely safe.

Having been unoccupied for a while, the room remained clean, without a speck of dust. The bed was neatly arranged with a collection of rabbit dolls, silently watching her.

Jiang Yu let out a long breath and slumped onto the bed.

Like a soulless walking corpse.

The overhead lights were a bit glaring, and she weakly closed her eyes. She reached out for the rabbit doll closest to her, hugged it to her chest, curled up her body, and eased her breath.

It was very quiet.

To the point of hurting her ears.

She heard her own steady and gentle breath, felt the strong and steady beating of her heart, and her chaotic mind gradually became clear. But along with it came waves of pain, stronger than ever.

It turned out that nothing had changed.

The three characters of "Jiang Wan Yin" could still easily crush her.

For over a decade, from being unable to relax in front of the camera to actively finding angles for posing, from trembling and almost stumbling on the runway to confidently striding on twelve-centimeter heels, she had always believed that she had transformed, been reborn, and had a complete inner and outer renewal.

But she was still herself.

She couldn't rid herself of the stigma, couldn't break free from it.

Jiang Yu held the rabbit tightly in her arms. It was soft and comfortable, but it couldn't replace the warmth that belonged to a person...

Suddenly, it was very cold.

She opened her eyes, released the rabbit, and absentmindedly got up, opening the door and rushing into the bathroom to turn on the hot water.

She soaked in the hot water for a long, long time. The water in the bathtub kept draining and continuously refilling, maintaining a constant temperature. Her fingers turned pale from soaking, her skin wrinkled, and she soaked until she felt drowsy, finally feeling the warmth enveloping her body.

Jiang Yu got out of the water, dried her body, and without wearing anything, she crawled into the bed.

She had hurried back tonight and hadn't brought melatonin, which was left in her luggage. Holding the rabbit, she curled up in the cold bed, using her body heat to warm it.

She didn't know how long she had been lying there, gradually succumbing to sleepiness...

The dark corridor trapped her once again.

She slept restlessly, waking up intermittently. Her heartbeat raced and slowed, and her breathing became irregular. She couldn't remember how many times she had awakened from her dreams, squinting her eyes against the bright overhead light while the outside world remained dark.

Only the upper half of the bed was warm, while below her knees, it was freezing cold. Jiang Yu curled up her body, got up, and wearily rubbed her temples.

She grabbed her phone and checked the time. It was 4:30 in the early morning.

There were unread WeChat messages on the screen.

She clicked on them and surprisingly found that they were her alternate account, sent by Cheng Suran.

Kid: [Transfer 50,000]

Kid: [Sister, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have touched your things. I know I was wrong, and I won't argue about it, but please believe me, I didn't have any malicious intent.]

Then there were two voice messages.

"Sister... When I came back this afternoon, I found that the master bedroom door was closed. I thought you were inside, so I knocked, but there was no response, so I opened the door... I saw a stack of papers on the bed, and I found it strange, so I went over to take a look... I saw your name written on it, and I wanted to put it down immediately, but then you came back..."

"Don't worry... I only saw the photo and your name... I really don't know anything else... I... I know I violated the rules... I'll return the money, and I'll leave by myself... Wuwuwu..."

The girl choked up, her voice filled with sobs and a heavy nasal tone. She kept gasping for breath while speaking.

It sounded like she had been crying uncontrollably for a long, long time.

The messages were sent an hour ago.

After listening, Jiang Yu fell into silence. The loud sound of a slap, the girl's choked sobs, echoed in her ears, making her feel a bit restless.

A faint sense of regret welled up in her heart.

Like insects gnawing.

Was she wrong?

No, how could the benefactor be wrong...

Her head was pounding, and her body felt exhausted and sore. Jiang Yu closed her eyes, took a deep breath, threw her phone to the side, and settled back into the partially warm bed.

When she woke up again, it was already bright outside.

She was awakened by the sound of her phone ringing.

"Sister Yu, where are you? I didn't see you at the hotel, but your suitcase is still here..." As soon as she answered, Tian Lin's slightly anxious voice came through her ears.

Jiang Yu half-closed her eyelids and said wearily, "I'm at home."

"Why did you suddenly come home?" Tian Lin's anxiety eased slightly.

"Just need a change of mood."

"Oh. By the way, Miss Cheng told me that you terminated the contract. She moved back to the school today and just gave me the spare car keys."

"What?" Jiang Yu abruptly opened her eyes. "When did I say I terminated the contract? Where is she?"

Tian Lin paused for a moment and said, "She's washing her face in the room."

Jiang Yu instantly became alert. She got up from the bed and said in a deep voice, "Stop her, I'll be right there."