CH 74

"In my heart, you're the best." Cheng Suran shook her head, a glistening teardrop forming at the corner of her eye, which she quickly wiped away.

"If I could, I would love to see you more often. I don't care about anything else."

"Is that so?" Jiang Yu sneered, locking eyes with her. "You wouldn't mind seeing me with someone else?"

In a moment of panic, she spoke without thinking, and instantly regretted it, but it was too late.

Cheng Suran felt as if she had been struck by lightning. "...Sister, do you have someone else?"

"No." Jiang Yu immediately denied, pushing her away and leaning back against the sofa, closing her eyes weakly.

A deep sense of exhaustion washed over her.

She messed up.

If it were any other girls from before, she could easily dismiss them. She had encountered persistent pursuers in the past, but she never felt soft-hearted and could easily cut ties. But with Ranran, it seemed like she couldn't bring herself to be ruthless.

If this continues, the situation will eventually spiral out of control.

Cheng Suran, however, felt relieved. 

But as she looked at her helpless appearance, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness. She remained silent, tightly wrapping her down jacket around her, curling up and huddling herself together. 

After a moment, Jiang Yu opened her eyes. 

The girl huddled in the corner of the sofa, the oversized down jacket wrapped around her like a blanket, completely enveloping her. Her eyes were vacant, and her nose twitched as if she were an abandoned puppy. 

Suddenly, a faint sense of guilt crept into Jiang Yu's heart. Did she make a mistake? 

Ranran is such a simple, pure-hearted person. Should she have not gotten involved with her in the first place?

"Stay at my place tonight."

The girl lifted her head, her eyes suddenly brightening.

Jiang Yu avoided her gaze and continued speaking, "I have a cocktail party tonight. Let my assistant take you out for dinner. She's a local, so you can have a nice chat with her. Tomorrow, I'll take you to explore downtown Paris. I have to fly to Milan the day after for a day or two, and then we'll return together to sort things out."

A faint smile slowly formed on Cheng Suran's lips, but froze upon hearing the last sentence. The smile froze on her lips.

So, she had to wait until they returned home to settle the score...

"Okay." She responded in a low voice, with complicated emotions

Jiang Yu stood up, pointed to the second floor, and said, "I'll take you to see the room. After dinner, go to your hotel and bring your luggage here."

Cheng Suran got up obediently and followed her upstairs.

There are two rooms on the second floor, each with its own bathroom, and the living room and dressing room in the middle. There is also a large open-air balcony with bright light and a transparent view. It is very elegant and French style.

The third floor is the master bedroom, Jiang Yu's private territory, which cannot be pryed into.

"Sister, do you live alone in such a big house?" Cheng Suran looked around.

Jiang Yu hummed lightly, deliberately not looking at her.

Cheng Suran shut up wisely.

….

Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4738582

This translation is originally posted on

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After returning from the cocktail party, it was already half past eleven at night. Jiang Yu removed her makeup, took a shower, dried her hair, and poured herself a small glass of sweet red wine before heading to the terrace on the second floor.

Not far away was Parc de Sceaux, where the shadows of trees blended with the darkness of the night. The towering spires of the castle seemed to pierce into the night sky. The surroundings were peaceful, and the air was filled with the scent of rain-soaked grass.

The damp chill seeped into her pores, and Jiang Yu stood there for a while, slowly finishing her drink. Then she turned and went back inside.

Out of habit, she walked towards the bedroom on the left side.

Upon reaching the door, she paused and her thoughts wavered. She realized something and stepped back, remaining motionless in the same spot

It was as if she was still in a hotel. She had returned very late, finished her nightly routine, and then went to the guest bedroom in the dark. She would slip into the warm and fragrant sheets, holding the soft body of the girl, and have a sweet dream.

She forgot.

This life ended more than a month ago.

Habits are really scary.

Jiang Yu concentrated, squeezed the goblet tightly, and felt the urge to go in.

She turned around, walked to the sofa and sat down.

The girl's words echoed in Jiang Yu's mind. What was destined to happen would always happen. She suddenly realized that running away was not an option. Even if she escaped to the ends of the earth, Ranran would still find her.

Was it dependency or love? She couldn't distinguish between the two.

Dependency had tangible traces, while love was elusive and intangible. What was love? In the depths of her memory, someone always emphasized this word, saying they loved her. That person was her mother.

When she was a child, her mother would scold her while saying, "I'm doing this because I love you." As she grew older, her mother would control her while saying, "I love you."

Then she met her ex-girlfriend, Qi Yan.

Qi Yan was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Both her family background and education were enviable. She was like a flower blooming in a greenhouse, dazzling and radiant. As for Jiang Yu herself, she was born to please others, constantly subjected to disdain, and she had to struggle to find her way out of the cracks in the bricks, hardened and cold.

Two completely opposite individuals collided and quickly ignited intense sparks. She loved Qi Yan intensely as the sun, and Qi Yan loved her with the spirit of a wild horse.

She tasted the flavor of love and being loved for the first time, but she also realized that she never truly understood these feelings.

Passion is short-lived, like fireworks that suddenly ascend to the night sky and fade away in an instant. When the honeymoon phase passed and the passion waned, they entered a period of adjustment. Exhausted from constant conflicts and arguments, they ultimately couldn't endure and didn't make it through.

Qi Yan often said a phrase to her: "What for?"

Many things were deemed "not necessary" in Qi Yan's eyes, but in her eyes, they were "necessary". They could argue fiercely over a dress, or have a cold war for several days over a meal.

Neither of them could understand each other.

At that time, Jiang Yu's career was on the rise, working almost non-stop throughout the year, flying around the world, gaining fame and fortune, which provided her with a sense of security. On the other hand, her emotions made her anxious and at a loss. Perhaps to escape, or perhaps because she was too busy, she devoted herself entirely to work, neglecting Qi Yan, and they rarely communicated with each other.

Although Qi Yan would compromise for her, there was a sense of resentment brewing within. And with each escalating argument, that resentment would be unleashed upon her.

Then one day, Qi Yan asked her to come out.

She disagreed.

"Why?"

"Nowadays society is not open-minded enough to easily accept same-sex relationships. As a public figure, if I come out, should I still continue working? It's not as simple as you think."

"I'm talking about coming out within the industry, not making it public to everyone. How many fashion insiders are openly gay? What about that designer? And that editor? Is there a shortage without you?"

"Is your understanding of the fashion industry limited to Europe and America? Have you considered that it might not be the same in China? Can you simply erase cultural differences with just a few words?"

"Then may I ask, who knows that I am your girlfriend? Have you expressed your stance to your friends around you? Even among those who are familiar with you in the industry? Huh? My dear top model Jiang?"

"In any case, it's a definite no. Don't even think about it."

"Then let's break up!"

"Fine."

"Hah, you've been waiting for this day, haven't you? You wanted me to be the one to bring it up, thinking it would alleviate your shameful guilt! But it's useless, let me tell you. It was you who used emotional coldness first, you pushed me to this point. I was mistaken about you, Jiang Yu, you're nothing but a scum! A pervert!"

"Thanks for the compliment."

And then they broke up.

Between love and work, she chose the latter without hesitation.

After a long time, Jiang Yu finally realized that she and Qi Yan were fundamentally different, with different upbringing, values, and were destined to separate. 

During the passionate phase of their relationship, she was always chasing after Qi Yan's footsteps. Any small action or habit of her would trigger an earthquake in her heart. She often found herself in a passive and uneasy state, eventually exhausting herself mentally and emotionally.

She didn't like the feeling of being passive or having her emotions controlled by someone else. She wanted to be in control of her own body and heart.

At this age, love was no longer a necessity for her. She preferred pursuing a sense of achievement in her career over indulging in love affairs. Moreover, her personality was not suited for romantic relationships. Since letting go of her obsession with her ex, she had also come to realize that she was alone in the quiet of the night. Jiang Yu felt a bit restless and got up to fetch a cigarette and lighter, lighting one up.

The slender cigarette rested between her fingers, the spark glowing brightly, resembling crimson eyes in the darkness. She remained motionless, the dim yellow light casting cold contours on her face, like a ghost.

"Elder sister..."

A soft call came from behind.

Jiang Yu was slightly startled, turning her head to see Cheng Suran standing by the bedroom door, silently gazing at her.

The girl had long hair draped over her, enveloped in a soft and dim light. Her petite face was delicate and charming, while the silky robe hugged her slender body, outlining her graceful curves.

Jiang Yu's heart skipped a beat, furrowing her brow. "Why aren't you asleep yet?"

"I can't sleep." Cheng Suran hesitated for a moment, then took a few steps closer and sat down beside her.

"Does sister can't sleep too?"

Jiang Yu moved a little to the side unobtrusively, and said softly: "I'll be sleeping in a while, you should go to sleep too, don't stay up late."

She raised her hand, took a light breath of the cigarette, and slowly exhaled the smoke.

The faint light fell into those deep eyes, becoming increasingly unfathomable. Her face was partially obscured in the mist, displaying a hint of weariness and the unique charm of a woman at this age.

Cheng Suran became absent-minded and instinctively embraced her.

A fragrance of shower gel mingled with the smell of smoke, and the taste of the young girl became addictive—fresh, tender, and filled with abundant moisture that silently flowed and melted in Jiang Yu's heart.

Suddenly, Jiang Yu felt flustered and struggled a bit, attempting to push her away. However, to her surprise, the embrace only tightened. She furrowed her brow and uttered, "Let go."

"No, I won't."

"Cheng Suran!"

She suddenly raised her voice, causing Cheng Suran to tremble. However, she stubbornly held onto her, her eyes reddening in the darkness. She whispered, "I just want to hug you..."

"I'll say it again, go back to bed," Jiang Yu said with patience.

"I won't."

"So you're getting disobedient again?"

"I'm not a canary, I don't have to listen to you."

"..."

Jiang Yu fell silent.

Cheng Suran gritted her teeth and mustered up her courage, climbing onto her lap.

But before she could settle down, she was forcefully pushed away with great strength, losing her balance and falling to the ground with a 'thud'. She looked up and met Jiang Yu's icy gaze.

Her heart plummeted into the abyss.

"Goodnight."

Jiang Yu didn't even look at her. She stood up, holding the cigarette, and hastily went upstairs to the third floor as if fleeing.

….

The next day, Jiang Yu abandoned her plan to sleep in and took Cheng Suran to explore the city center of Paris.

They visited famous landmarks, explored art exhibitions, tasted local cuisine, and experienced the local culture. Along the way, Jiang Yu shared her observations and experiences in Paris over the years, giving the young girl a preliminary understanding of the city.

"The route from Charles de Gaulle Airport to the city center passes through the 93rd department, which is also the impoverished area of Paris. It is mainly inhabited by Middle Eastern and African immigrants, and the security situation there is not good. If you come to study in this area in the future, remember to stay away from that area, both during the day and at night. And it's not just in Paris, but in any city, avoid getting close to areas where such immigrants gather."

"Most of the streets here are made of cobblestones and can be quite uneven. It's best to wear flat shoes when going out for a stroll. If someone tries to offer you a bracelet or ask you to sign a paper claiming it's for charity, it's a scam. Don't pay any attention to them and walk away immediately, as far as you can."

"By the way, there are many thieves here, so keep a close eye on your belongings. With our Asian faces, some people see us as walking cash machines."

"Hahaha..."

Cheng Suran's heavy mood was lightened by Jiang Yu's words, and she burst into laughter.

It was a calm before the storm. If possible, she wished time could stand still on this day, without any gaps, without any differences, without the impending settlement when they returned home.

But moments of happiness are always fleeting.

On the third day, Jiang Yu flew to Milan, leaving Cheng Suran alone in the large villa with only her assistant for company. Taking this opportunity, she went out for a stroll, considering it as a chance to explore and practice her language skills.

When Jiang Yu returned, they embarked on their journey back home  together.

School has already started, and Cheng Suran took a leave of absence for this trip, missing many classes and immediately needing to take makeup exams for the failed subjects.

Jiang Yu and her had agreed to meet on the weekend.

...

It was a rainy weekend.

In early spring, the rain was abundant, and it had been raining continuously for a week. The whole city was shrouded in dampness, and the roads remained wet.

At three o'clock in the afternoon, Cheng Suran walked out of the dormitory building, holding an umbrella, carefully avoiding the puddles and making her way towards the school gate.

She had made an appointment with Jiang Yu to clarify things today.

She longed for this day, her mind absent-minded even while studying in the library. After waiting so long for this day, she felt both anticipation and resistance. Although she already knew the outcome and that this moment marked their farewell, the thought of seeing that person made her unable to contain her excitement.

She applied light makeup and changed into the new clothes Jiang Yu had bought for her at the end of last year. She was like a bird freed from its cage, eagerly flying towards the sky named Jiang Yu.

Her happiness was so simple.

The familiar white car was parked at the school gate. Cheng Suran hurriedly approached and opened the door, slipping into the passenger seat. 

"Sister..."

"Did you wait for a long time?"

"No, I just arrived." Jiang Yu sat in the driver's seat, arms crossed, her face turned slightly to the side, giving a faint smile.

She hadn't put on any makeup, and her plain face showed some signs of exhaustion, her smile seeming hollow. "You look beautiful today."

"In my heart, sister is the most beautiful." Cheng Suran smiled, squinting her eyes, revealing a row of small white teeth.

"How about the exam?"

"It's pretty good, manageable."

"Mm."

Pleasantries were exchanged, and now it was time to get down to business.

Jiang Yu stared at her for a moment, a hint of determination flashing in her eyes. She calmly took out her phone, opened her lovers' memo, and handed it over. 

"Take a look at this."

"?"

Cheng Suran lowered her head in confusion.

On the screen was a photo of a girl, with her name, age, height, weight, and occupation listed below, like a simple profile. She scrolled up with her thumb, and beneath each photo were numbers, one, two, three, four...

She saw her name at the end.

Cheng Suran, 20 years old, born on February 20, 1999, height of 165 cm, weight not less than 90 kg, no photo.

"Sister, this is..." She looked at Jiang Yu in confusion, a sense of unease already creeping into her heart.

But Jiang Yu turned her face away, casually saying, "The little birds I used to raise."

"! ! "

"You're just one of them."

A bucket of cold water was poured over her head, and despite Cheng Suran's mental preparation, she was caught off guard, feeling a chilling sensation penetrating her heart, making her shiver. She stared blankly at the raindrops on the glass, her eyes misting over. Tears and raindrops fell simultaneously.

Jiang Yu glanced at her sideways, furrowing her brow, and clenched the hem of her clothes in her hands.

"Do you know how I broke up with Qi Yan?"

"It was because I neglected her due to work, because I was emotionally cold towards her, because I chose my career over her. It was all my fault. I've had countless lovers, playing with one after another, discarding them like toys. I am scum, I am twisted."

"I wouldn't fall for someone I've kept as a pet, and you're not the type I like. Between us, it's just a game," Jiang Yu declared, trying to restrain her breath while forcing a radiant smile.

She had underestimated the young girl, hidden beneath her gentle and obedient appearance was a resilient and determined heart. Despite being young and inexperienced, she possessed unwavering courage. As for herself, she resembled a despicable and shameless villain, always running away.

Since there was no way to respond, it was better to end it here and now, to prevent further complications in the future.

"Is that true?" Cheng Suran choked out, tears streaming from her eyes.

The glistening liquid hung from her chin, dripping down, pitter-pattering onto her pants, leaving large damp marks.

It was strange.

Her heart didn't ache at all. It wasn't numbness, but rather, a complete lack of feeling. She knew this day would come sooner or later.

Being able to hear it directly from her sister's mouth is enough.

Don't be greedy.

"Mm."

Jiang Yu grabbed the girl's hand and took out a brand new check with a stamped red seal from her bag. She placed it in Cheng Suran's palm, enclosing it with her fingers.

It was still two million.

"I don't want it... What are you doing?" Cheng Suran recoiled as if she had been electrocuted, but her strength was feeble, and she couldn't break free.

"Be good and listen to sister first."

Jiang Yu tightened her grip, patting Cheng Suran's hand with her other hand, reassuringly. "You're now in your junior year, and soon you'll be in your senior year. Whether you choose to do an internship or take the postgraduate entrance exam, don't be afraid to try. With financial support, it can reduce the cost of trial and error and minimize many risks, giving you enough time and energy to plan your future path."

"In the future, study hard, work hard, and move forward courageously. Never rely your hopes on another person. Only you yourself are your most solid support."

"Consider it as my blessing to you. Let's not contact each other anymore, okay?"

After speaking, Jiang Yu couldn't help but reach out to wipe away Cheng Suran's tears.

Cheng Suran tightly pursed her lips, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably, and finally, she couldn't hold back her tears any longer.

"Sister..."

"Be good and go," Jiang Yu smiled and got up, reaching over to open the passenger door for her.

The cold wind mixed with raindrops blew in, chilling Cheng Suran's face.

It completely awakened her.

"Alright..."

Cheng Suran nodded, choked with emotion, and tightly held onto the check. Reluctantly, she stepped out of the car.

Just as she closed the door, before she could open her umbrella, the car couldn't wait any longer and started moving. It slowly drove towards the road, then accelerated, blinking away into the flow of traffic until it disappeared from sight...

Cheng Suran stood in place, getting soaked in the rain, watching the car recede into the distance. Before long, her body was drenched, and the wet strands of hair clung to her cheeks.

Sister...

I've always known.

You are my unforgettable thoughts, but I am your insignificant pain.