Volume 1 - CH 1

Posted on February 20, 2022by Soafp

Translator: Soafp

Life sucks, but it doesn’t have to.

In fact, it’s a giant pile of s**t.

This is how I honestly felt about life when I was in middle school. I know, you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about when I’m just a middle schooler, but I can’t help it because that’s how I actually felt.

There once was a boy named Shota Mukawa.

He was a boy that could be found anywhere in the country, making silly noises with his friends, occasionally taking classes seriously, and falling in love with pretty girls.

He had an ordinary face, neither handsome nor ugly. His height was slightly shorter than average. He was not very good at studying, but was reasonably good at sports. He is a member of the tennis club, and plays with his friends on weekends. He was a young boy with no personality and no color except for the fact that he was from a family with a single mother and struggled with finances.

But one day, Shota Mukawa —– the old me – broke down.

It was broken by the hands of demonic girls. The end of the betrayal broke my heart to the core, and finally I couldn’t leave my room.

My elementary school days were happy.

My junior high school years were hell.

The difference between the two was so great because I had enjoyed my elementary school years so much that I thought my toys would break more dramatically if I dropped them from a high place. The boy who used to look forward to going to school became a great recluse.

My mother couldn’t bear to see me like this, so she left me with my grandparents in the countryside.

This was a turning point in my life.

I was healed by the warmth of my grandparents and the kind people of the countryside, and gradually regained a sense of humanity.

Living in a small house in the countryside, just a few minutes’ walk from the next house, felt like heaven to me at that time, when I was so worried about people’s eyes on me.

Slowly but surely, the wounds in my heart began to heal.

As my scars healed, I started working out to get rid of the trauma of the past. I started running and strength training as part of my daily routine. At first, I was plagued by muscle pain, but the daily routine helped.

I studied hard to train my brain as well. The environment allowed me to concentrate, so I went to my desk every day and moved my hands and head. Thanks to this, my stupid intelligence became above average.

As I got fitter and smarter, I started to put more effort into my appearance and learned to dress up. I studied magazines and on the Internet, and I felt that I had become a man that people would not laugh at.

I moved to a new school during the last spring break of junior high school and spent more than two years there.

My height had increased by more than ten centimeters. I became healthier thanks to my daily exercise. I switched from glasses to contacts and cut off my long and annoying hair, which made me look like a different person in the mirror.

I gradually regained my cheerfulness, and I was able to cope with middle school life at my new school without any problems, and by the time I entered high school, I had almost overcome my trauma.

The high school I went to was also a peaceful place.

I worked hard at improving myself and socializing with the people around me. The demons had left me a little uncomfortable with girls, but not to the extent that it interfered with my life.

Then one day, my mother told me about her remarriage.

I returned to my birthplace after a long absence and met my new father. The man she remarried to also had a stepdaughter, a girl who was a year younger than me. When my step-sister became a high school student, they decided to register her.

I met my new stepfather in person, and he was a mild-mannered man who treated me kindly. My stepsister was a bit girly, but she was cute.

I had no reason to hesitate at the sight of my mother’s happy face after all the trouble I had caused her, and I encouraged her to remarry.

My surname was changed from “Mukawa” to “Nijitani”. I felt as if I, who had been colorless and without personality, had become rainbow-colored, and it made me squirm.

Since she had remarried, I was asked to come and live with her family in my hometown where I used to live. I didn’t really want to go back, but I had no choice but to accept my mother’s invitation.

The new school I was going to was Tenkain Gakuen, a famous school in my neighborhood. It was located near my new home, and my stepsister also went there.

It was a strong recommendation from my mother. I agreed without giving it much thought because I had no problem with it academically.

Life with my new family was not bad. The warmth of spending time with my family was comforting, and I felt a little less anxious about my new life.

Life is a giant pile of s**t.

Maybe that’s true, maybe I’m just pessimistic. It can be surprisingly interesting.

As a sophomore in high school, I had come to think that way.

“There will be a new student in this class today.”

Mizushima-sensei, the homeroom teacher, announced.

After being introduced, I entered the classroom and stood in front of the blackboard to show my face to my new classmates. I was worried that all the attention would bring back the trauma of my past, but I didn’t shake.

“My name is Shota Nijitani. I moved here from a house in the countryside. I’ve been swallowed up by the atmosphere of an urban school. Please be kind to me.”

I introduced myself in a somewhat self-deprecating manner and bowed my head.

The response was not so bad. A few chuckles echoed here and there. I could feel the eyes on me as if I was being valued, but I didn’t feel bad.

It was a good start.　

This is the second time I’ve moved to a new school in my life, but it’s the first time I’ve moved to a city. In addition, the season is late April, which is a halfway point in the year.

The friendly atmosphere made my anxiety disappear.

I was given the best position, the last row by the window. I walked with a gut-punch in my heart.

I was relieved to have passed through the first obstacle.

“Nice to meet you, Nijitani-kun.”

A girl greeted me on the way. Without even looking at her face, I reflexively replied, “Nice to meet you.” I thought I had heard her voice somewhere after I had passed by, but I didn’t care much as I was sure I would find out in the course of my life.

The girl sitting next to me had long bangs that covered her face.

” How are you? Nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too, …….”

Apparently, she didn’t like to talk much.

That’s a good thing. The first time I greeted her, she was very excited, but I’m still not very good with girls. Girls who are quiet like this are easier to deal with.

As I took my seat, the teacher opened her mouth.

“Let’s begin the morning homeroom.”

Mizushima-sensei began to talk about the matters to be discussed.

Having successfully completed the most difficult part of the homeroom, the greeting for the new school, I felt more relaxed. I looked around the classroom again. Many of the students were serious as if they were in a preparatory school. The hair color was mostly black.

I looked at the seat where someone called out to me.

“……”

The wind blowing in through the window shook the girl’s red hair.

The bright red hair reminded me of a painful memory from my past.

This is where I had to deny my thoughts of a few days ago.

Life is a giant pile of s**t.

Maybe that’s true, maybe I’m just pessimistic. It can be surprisingly interesting.

It’s a shallow way of thinking.

I was made to understand. I’ve been made to understand that life is an inexplicable lump of s**t.