Chapter 136: Night Thoughts

We went to bed as normal after I claimed today's [Kingdom Points] and tickets to create a new house in the kingdom.

Since every house has space for at least three people I placed Angelica together with Mia and Elizabeth as Cassandra was going to sleep with us on Earth anyway.

The new house ended up being a temporary one for Maya and her boyfriend to sleep in until she was healed.

I've yet to properly know him, but either due to the talk he had with my father or his own sense of responsibility, he made a point to stay close to Maya.

We made him contact his family and friends and tell them that he would be staying at his girlfriend's place for a while, but I certainly appreciate him trying to be protective of her, so he has gained a few points with me already.

Maybe I should play nice when my turn to talk to him comes.

Claire: "Hnn... that's a bit... too hard... I'm not going anywhere..."

Miwen: "Sorry..."

I ended up unconsciously pressing her body against mine with too much force, so even though she placed her hands above mine, I took one off and placed it on Licia's shoulder, repositioning myself on the bed.

In response to that, Licia turned more in my direction and had her head rest against my chest.

Licia: "Can't sleep?"

Miwen: "Yeah. It's almost as if a girl is loudly moaning in my room."

Cassandra: "Ahn... I'll try to be quieter... Hngh... if my sweet lullaby... is not giving you... Ahh...

peaceful night's sleep..."

I told the girls that I was a bit too tired to have sex tonight, but that I wouldn't mind if they wanted to play together.

Obviously, I was talking about Claire and Licia, but Cassandra jumped at the opportunity and offered to keep them company.

However, Claire was strongly against doing it with Cassandra, and Licia also ended up refusing her offer, though in her case, it was more of a matter of not being in the mood either since she also didn't do anything with Claire.

Since Cassandra was going to keep watch during the night, I offered her my phone to distract herself a little since the PC screen was a little bit too bright.

But well... her idea of distracting herself was masturbating to porn.

Any girl with my memories of what usually happens in this room would certainly have some expectations come the night, so I should've been more suspicious about how strongly she argued to sleep here.

It's just that... well... no girl has been so shameless with their libido so far...

Even girls with a strong sex drive like Anna and Bea are less open and more reserved about their desires.

While it is normal for them to ask me for a quickie, they are mindful of others and will often choose hidden spots or places where they know no one's around.

I'm sure they also deal with their desires by themselves when I'm not available, but at least for Bea, Ellie never said anything about hearing her touch herself, so she must have the decency of doing it in secret.

Actually... now that I think about it, Licia and I told her to masturbate every day to make sex more comfortable, so ironically, while trying to be diligent, she might be the most indecent girl in the kingdom right now.

I'd be lying if I said I'm annoyed by Cassandra though. If anything, I find the novelty to be interesting and kind of hot since she seems to be very into it.

While I said it just to play a bit with her, the reason I'm having trouble is another one...

And it seems like Licia picked up on it.

Licia: "...I'm here if you wanna confide in me."

Miwen: "..."

It's hard to decide what I should do in this situation.

While I trust her... I feel like it's a bit unfair to share what I've been thinking.

It could easily look like I'm seeking pity, or trying to manipulate her feelings in my favor, which is not the case at all...

Claire: "...You have such a bad view of yourself..."

Miwen: "...Hm?"

Claire: "When you have the ability, you underestimate yourself. When you are lacking, you overestimate yourself. If you are carrying something heavy, let us help. It's simple, really."

...I see.

I'm doing the same thing Maya does without even realizing it.

Pride appears to run in our blood as our whole family seems to refuse to ask for help. While the result might be the same, I'd say Maya's reasons are more on the selfless side, while mine are more selfish.

I don't want to appear weak to them.

But... it profoundly involves them, so I might not have a choice.

It's been a while since Claire's been so serious about something, so I almost forgot that she can be so sharp.

Her calling me a troublesome husband does betray that image a little, but it shows that our relationship has advanced quite a lot since the first days, as she tries to add a bit of playfulness to her serious comments.

Perhaps it's an attempt at being careful so as not to be upsetting, or it may just be her feeling comfortable enough to not hide herself behind a mask, allowing her feelings to come out without a layer of rationality inhibiting them.

It's only possible because she knows I will accept both her rational side, as well as her emotional one.

Thus, she can say what she thinks, and what she feels.

And it would be unfair for me to not do the same just because I worry how it might make me look like, or what it might mean to them.

She cornered very easily by putting extracting the meaning of Licia's words.

Licia was treading carefully, trying to appease me by not probing too much and giving me the opportunity to go at it at my own pace. On the other hand, Claire cut to the chase.

I should consider it carefully if she says I'm going too far.

Licia: "For now... I'll make you compensate for every bad action with a good one... at least that way, you won't have to worry about becoming a bad person..."

She's treating me a bit like a kid, but it's justified since I didn't manage to see something so obvious.

If you do something bad... try to do something good in return. It won't erase what you did, but it's a step in the right direction.

More importantly... what I said about cruelty also works for kindness.

It goes both ways really... you can get used to performing good deeds too as you do them more often.

I'm glad to have her by my-

Cassandra: "So dramatic. I can't get off like this."

Claire: "Then get out! They are having a moment!"

Due to Cassandra's words, Claire ended up throwing a pillow at her, but she grabbed it and approached the bed.

Cassandra: "I get it. It's pretty simple if you think about it. Let's not lie to ourselves here, Angelica might've done the killing, but like a weapon, she's just the tool you used. And you had never killed, nor had you thought about doing it. So you're worried that something about you has changed. That you became worse.

Wanna know what? You did. And since I saw your memories, I can pinpoint exactly when it happened."

Claire: "Get away, it's cramped in here already!"

Cassandra kept approaching me, to the point where her face was centimeters away from mine, and her smile looked more haunting than ever.

I didn't think the bed had space for one more person, but since she had a petite figure and was crawling on my body, she ended up making room for herself.

Her words were cutting deep into me though, and I didn't like how blunt she was being about it.

However, I couldn't deny that she was right about everything that she said, so I allowed her to continue.

Miwen: "...So? What is it that you saw?"

Cassandra: "While you didn't stay for long, you listened to her stories, talked with her about the future, and tried your hardest to prove yourself to her. Even going as far as laying a trap to kill a general, to which you didn't feel anything but pride. Of course, everything was a ploy on her part. She didn't consider you an ally. All she wanted was to make a last stand with her tribe...

and get her daughter a ticket off from it all. Need I tell you the name?"

...Nah, it's pretty obvious who she's talking about.

While I can tell she tried to provoke me a little by calling out that I didn't care about the death of that guy back then, she should know the difference.

Sure, I lured him into a trap, but that was all I did.

I wasn't responsible for Melissa's actions back then the same way I am for Angelica's now.

Whatever she decided to do with him was her business.

But while Cassandra poked at that, she was putting a lot of emphasis on Melissa.

Miwen: "...Does Melissa really have anything to do with this?"

Cassandra: "You built a relationship with her. She was an ally in your eyes, someone you had to protect, even if she was stronger and smarter than you. Similar to a certain blonde sister of yours. And yet... you allowed her to die. It shook you, obviously.

But you managed to get past it... or so you thought."

Miwen: "..."

Cassandra: "Turns out that when you saw your sister close to the same fate... your brain decided that enough was enough. And so... you went for the kill. Melissa's death had already made you more comfortable with the idea... you were just lacking the final trigger now that you knew that the world of adults was way more dangerous and that you weren't as infallible as you once thought...

Congrats, you are now a man. You will kill preventively. You will kill revengefully."

She finished by telling me to have fun with Hamperlon... with the AOTG... and even with the elves that harassed Ellie...

The First Daughter... that girl could slack a little bit more.

For her to be able to see even into my deepest desires... it's a bit too much.

Her logic made sense for the most part, but...

Licia: "Even if that's true... it just means I'll have to try harder."

Cassandra: "Yep. But remember, he graduated from being a kid not too long ago. It's fine if he makes mistakes. The important part is that you be there to break his fall when it happens like you did before... and that you show him the better way."

Hm? She was so confrontational and aggressive, but in the end... she was giving genuine advice... not to me, but to Licia.

By showing her how difficult it might be... she was trying to encourage her.

She could mince her words a bit more but... I'm genuinely impressed.

Licia: "...I guess you are not so bad. Sorry, I misjudged you."

Cassandra: "Hm? What were you thinking?"

Licia: "That you were a cold-hearted bitch. But I know it's not true now, so-"

Cassandra: "Nah, you got it right the first time. I am cold-hearted. And I am a slut too~"

She talks like it was a compliment to her.

Still, I like her way of doing things.

It was surprisingly reassuring that she understood so much about me, and of course, that Licia was so willing to go the extra mile to help me.

To end the night once and for all, I selected the only option I had for an event, and in two days, I would face it.