52 – Rising

52 – Rising My Mind-Cores were working in overdrive until the last second where they flickered out one after the other as the last parts of my body turned to dust. Without an anchor to reality, I felt my soul thread fading and my soul floating peacefully in the middle of a tumultuous ocean of energy. The whole little realm I've made for myself roiled at my pain, standing at the ready to assist me in whatever I needed. My soul shivered in phantom-pain, no, 'pain' was too mild a word to describe the mind-bending agony I just went through and was still going through in a way. I forced it down to a manageable level, but I felt like I'd jump every time I saw something green for a while. I didn't want to think about all the ways I'd fucked up. Hundreds of recommendations for how I could have avoided putting myself in this situation were flooding my head now that I could actually notice them without the pain clouding my mind. Hundreds of preventative measures and dozens more analyzed and dissected my flailing attempts at warding off the atomization. [Recommendation: Constant periodic long-range scanning.][Recommendation: Layered Symbiotic armour with non-organic layers.][Recommendation: Constant Psychic force field kept up.][Recommendation: Creation of redundant avatars.] I'll think about all of this later. When my soul-thread wasn't fading anymore. [Combat Recommendation: Separate an uninjured part of you into eldritch flesh and abandon the rest of the body.][Combat Recommendation: Use a psychic shield to cut off the spread of the atomization.][Combat Recommendation: Abandon the body and jump into t...] No! Later I said! I forcefully ignored them and shoved them into the back of my mind, these buzzing around made my failure sting even more. Energy rushed into the fading thread and reinforced it, keeping that tiny window into reality open for me as I quickly tried to figure out what to anchor myself to when I felt like a brick hit my head. Soul energy spread out in a myriad of tine questing tendrils and quickly found the fading telepathic connection I had with the armor on Selene, I reconnected with it and felt to connection solidify. I sighed in relief. Floating aimlessly for a moment, but then I felt repulsive energy rush into the armor. I jerked up and pushed my senses through the connection and felt it. Selene's presence skyrocketed a moment ago and in the place of an above-average soul stood a newly minted Psyker. It was nowhere near my own presence or even the navigators, but it dwarfed her earlier one. It also seemed like it let her channel the powers of the Warp and use them to fuel the Armor instead of relying on my energy. I felt conflicted about that; I felt disgusted even as I was with the energy coursing through her veins and I knew I couldn't see her in the same light as before if she stayed this way. Every pretty smile, every smirk, scowl, frown would be tainted by me feeling like her presence was vomiting into my own. It was the same with Valenith. He barely let any Warp energy into himself if he wasn't actually going to use it, so he didn't disgust me all the time, but Selene lacked that control. The question now was whether she'd survive if I ripped her soul out of the Warp and placed it up here with me in the Se of Souls. The answer was uncertain and I sure as hell wouldn't be experimenting on her. Oh, she is going wild. I should probably tell her I'm not dead or something. "Hi~" I vibrated the air near her ear to replicate my voice. She jerked for a moment, her armored fists getting ripped out from the chest of an Orc from the movement. "What?" she asked, confused. "Am I hallucinating? What is happening to me?" she whispered to herself, a confused frown contorting her face. "I jumped ship and now I'm your armor," I said calmly. "I don't know what you assumed, but I am quite alive." "B-but I saw you die," she jumped back, distancing herself from the last handful of Orcs as Zedev walked up beside her and started finishing the extermination with machine-like efficiency. "I'm much harder to kill than you may think," my voice was gentle as I felt the mixture of chaotic emotions wash over her aura, there was fear, relief, dread, hope and anger, "A little atomization can't keep me down for long." "Show yourself then!" she said, her voice uncharacteristically weak. "As you wish," I said as I split the tiny eldritch tendril I left in her armor into two while also taking an abundant amount of bio-energy I left inside it should I need to repair Selene's armor mid-combat. The tiny tendril jumped off of her shoulder, her gaze following it like a hawk. I formed the template I wanted in my mind and let the energy loose. The tendril expanded rapidly, twisting and curling around itself as it started forming my feet, calves, and thighs, then continued on to form a humanoid shape. I wasn't much different from Selene at the moment, looking like a feminine white mannequin before the flesh rippled and the white material turned into my humanoid form. "Oops," I said offhandedly as I quickly made armor to cover myself with. Is there any chance that my comfy bodyglove survived that? Selene stepped up to me and with a wave of my hand, her armor retreated, forming a choker around her neck and leaving the rest of her body in the clothing she had on herself underneath it. She reached out and touched my cheek with slightly trembling fingers. "You are real," she whispered, her head tilting to the side. "Are you real?" "Are any of us real?" I mused, then felt my cheek get squeezed and stretched. "I awm, sowwwy, stop stweching 'y cheek." "Idiot," she sighed heavily, "I wouldn't hallucinate anything stupid like that for sure," she nodded to herself, finally convinced of my reality as she stopped bullying my cheek and pulled her hand away. I pouted as I exaggeratedly massaged my cheek. I even made blood rush to make it seem like it was bruising. "What even was that thing?" I asked as I started looking around for the source of all this trouble. I lost a fuck load of bio-energy along with my body. Somebody is going to suffer for that. "It was a large Orc, maybe a head taller than the rest and it stood a kilometer away that way," said Selene as she pointed in a direction, I narrowed my eyes but couldn't see anything that way, "And you killed it, I don't know what you did but there was a flash of light and the next moment my helmet stopped pinging the Orc as alive." "Oh," I blinked, "I did that?" "You don't remember?" "It was more instinct than conscious thought. I was focusing on not dying." "So you were dying!" "Noooo," I averted my eyes from the scathing glare boring into me, "but losing that body is a fucking pain. I had centuries' worth of energy stored in it and I wasted it all trying to counteract the atomizer." "So now you are starving?" "Sort of?" I looked around us, "Though I think I'll manage with the energy I got back from your armor and all this," I waved a hand around, motioning for the corpses littering the floor. "You are going to eat the Orcs?" "Yep," I nodded, my tone not matching the enthusiasm of my words, "but let's talk about you for a moment, you are flooded with Warp Jizz Selene and I can't say it is a good thing." "What?" she frowned, "'Warp... Jizz'?" she sounded out the words, equal parts repulsed and confused. "Yep," I nodded, "your psychic presence is also much greater. My condolences you've become a Psyker." "Condolences?" Valenith butted into our conversation. "You should know that having a powerful soul isn't exactly a good thing in this galaxy." The Eldar grimaced and I think he also felt slightly offended, but I didn't quite care. "That further complicates our abyssal situation." "Quite," I nodded as Selene looked between the two of us as she herself undoubtedly ran over many scenarios in her head. A Rogue Trader must know what the Imperium did to unsanctioned Psykers. Black Ships weren't exactly a secret and nor was the fact that only a tiny fraction of those that reached Holy Terra came out from there as Sanctioned Psykers. "Fuck," she said dejectedly. "While I'm not opposed to that, we'll have to do something about you stinking from all that Warp Jizz going through you." "Could you not say it like that?" she shook her head dejectedly. "Sorry, not sorry," I forced a smile on my face, "I might have a way to help you a bit, but we should consult our resident Psyker first." "Yes," Valenith's eyebrows twitched violently as he asked, his arms crossed as he stared at us. "Would a person survive if I were to, say," I looked up at the ceiling for a moment as I massaged my chin with a finger, "yank their soul to another place inside the Warp?" "'Yank'?" he frowned. "People don't tend to handle well if a Psyker does ANYTHING to their souls. It needs a proficient telepath to even glimpse inside a soul without the person going comatose and mind-dead." "Could she learn to regulate the Warp Energy like you?" I asked back, "Not let even a drop of it inside of her body?" "If you can keep her alive for a few centuries and she spends all that time training under an Eldar master, maybe." "That is not very encouraging." "It wasn't intended to be," he said, his voice thick with sarcasm, "but it is possible, unlike your idea." "I could place a lock on her soul, plug in her connection to it, if you will." "You might as well kill her," he shook his head. "She'll certainly do it if you do that. Psykers can't handle their connection being cut off from the Warp." "I just want to stop the energy from flowing into her freely," I said dryly. "Why is it a bad thing?" Selene asked and we both turned our heads her way. "You are a hole, a tunnel connecting the Warp and Realspace," Val spoke first, "and anything living in the Warp can use your open connection as a gateway if you don't learn to close it off and control it." "Didn't you say that closing it off would make me kill myself?" "You are not cutting off your connection. It is more like holding in your breath constantly, not letting the outside airflow into your lungs." "I'd die from that too." "Well, you don't need Warp Energy to survive, but you'll feel like you do," I interjected. "It is like a drug, with crackheads trying to rape your soul every time you use it." "A disgusting but apt metaphor despite me not having the faintest idea what a 'crackhead' is," Valenith nodded, "The Warp is a power that always demands a price greater than the power it gives, which is why restraint and self-control are paramount for a Psyker that wants to stay both sane and alive." "Damn it," said Selene weakly. I felt darker emotions bubble over her aura and I stepped in to give her a hug, despite it making my stomach twist in revulsion. "It will be alright," I said. "Didn't I say we are partners? I'll beat up any demons that dare come close to your soul." Her aura started to settle and I smiled, tightening the hug as I indulged myself in the feeling of her soft body encased in my embrace. I felt her arms wrap around my back a few seconds in as she buried her face in my chest. This is nice, worth getting atomized for. If only it didn't make my stomach churn.