Chapter 181

Chapter 181

The next morning I woke up to stare at the sunlight coming in through the armored blinds and just wondering what the hell I had done.

I wasnt being sarcastic either.

The fact was, going up on stage like that was a fundamental change to what music was to me. Before I had done it purely for my own relaxation, and now? Now it was something more, maybe something I wouldnt be able to control.

I shook it off and got up. There was no use in worrying about what was already done. I had a lot of work to do today.

Getting dressed I headed out, and straight towards Lizzies. While Nox had been at the Red Dirt last night, I hadnt decided whether I would do this or not then.

Honestly after sleeping on it I still wasnt sure, but I knew I should. That it was silly to be so embarrassed about my playing in front of a crowd.

As I pulled up to Lizzies, I frowned when I didnt see Rita, which wasnt unusual. I would have liked to talk to her about everything though, get some of her big sister counsel.

I entered without any trouble, and headed down to see Judy.

Youre here early. I commented as I entered into her little sanctum, seeing her working her way on a computer already. Honestly I had just expected to do another drop off.

Huh? Oh, its morning. Been here all night. She finally replied, blinking at me with a face that spoke of lack of sleep. Havent seen you in a while. She offered and I winced, at the judging tone.

Yeah, I havent had any BDs that I could let out And I guess Ive just been focused on my own stuff How are you? Edit any interesting XBDs recently? I asked as I moved into Judys basement. Settling on a chair.

She gave me a look of amusement at my question. None that Ill share with a kid. She offered and I couldnt help but laugh. True enough. I wasnt very interested in hearing about her weird porn.

I have a BD This one is a bit different than before, so Im not sure. How much would it cost to have this BD edited, for like Personal stuff?

How long is it? She asked instantly all business.

Oh Um Just over twenty minutes? I offered, trying to think how long each song took.

Hmm. Alright, Ill do it, but its not gonna be cheap. Whats it about?

I did a gig. I answered back, and Judy blinked at me.

That doesnt explain anything.

Oh, not that kind of gig. I did a music gig. I played on stage. Its the BD recording of it.

What? Let me see! She demanded and I flushed at her interest.

Its not that interesting. I tried to demure, but she wasnt having it.

Sure it is. I liked your other music. I pulled a copy of Inner Universe and listen to it sometimes. She answered, back.

What why? I said almost strangled, and she just laughed at me.

Cause its a good song you gonk. Besides, its interesting knowing the person who wrote a song. Alright, Ill edit this one. She waved at me, and I pulled the shard free.

She took it and quickly inserted it into her system looking it over.

Some interesting emotion patterns on this one.

Well, I was pretty nervous.New novel chapters are published at novelhall.com

Not really seeing that, emotion profile shifts rapidly Were you singing the emotions of the song?

I guess? I answered, I suppose I had done that. When the song was sad, I was sad, when it was angry Id been angry.

Huh. Alright thisll take a while. I wont be good company while working on this. Want me to call you when its done?

Sure! I stood up smiling at Judys offer. Thanks, I appreciate it.

Eh, its fine. Itll be nice to edit something that isnt hardcore fetish shit. She offered and I flushed a little at her words.

---

When I got back home, I was surprised to see Jun and Akari together. Considering the last time I had seen Jun wa with Alice, and Rita.

But something was wrong. Jun was brooding in his stupid bad boy way. Something was wrong. Hey Akari. Whats going on?

You remember Yuto? Jun asked after a moment, and I felt myself frown.

Your choom. The one that got out of prison.

He went through with it. Jun said as if that should explain anything to me. He tried to murder Kisaru. He flubbed it though. He explained and I shrugged.

Okay?

Motoko. Im his friend. Fujimura is already getting some questions on if Im involved.

Okay? But you arent. Tell Fujimura he tried to get you to help but you said no.

Motoko. Just being involved in plotting to kill a higher up in the Claws is enough to lose your head. I should have told Fujimura as soon as Yuto asked me about it. I didnt. Which makes me part of it.

Shit. Stupid fucking gangster politic bullshit. I cursed then I realized that Akari was here. And Akari is here to help? I asked, only to get a flinch from the woman, who had kept her face onto Jun this whole time without shifting.

Not exactly. Jun explained, my confusion must have been obvious as I turned to Akari.

Im Jun-Boys Guard dog. Bark bark. Akari cut in. Her voice was decidedly flat. If he tries to help Yuto, or I find proof he was involved Im his killer.

The next moment I realized I had activated my Sandevistan. Without thought, pure instinct I had moved. A threat to Jun. I reacted to neutralize it.

I slammed into Akari, faster than she could react, knife flashing, it was only the woman's own sandy activating that kept my knife from plunging straight into her eye.

It was the only weak point in her chromed out skull to get to her brain and kill her instantly.

The mental calculus was processed without a thought, without higher thinking.

It was only Jun that kept me from drawing my Burya and finishing the job as Akari struggled to keep my knife from plunging in. He grabbed me from around my chest, seemingly purposefully holding tight against my holster so I couldnt draw it as he dragged me away.

I slumped a bit in his arms, but mostly to make him think I wouldnt struggle.

She had threatened Jun. So she would die. Simple. Life was really simple sometimes.

Then Akari started laughing.

I dont know, but it still made me uncomfortable.

*Im not comfortable.*

*Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable with it?* She asked and I paced around my room for a minute. Then I took a deep breath, and let it out.

No. I was anxious about nothing.

I took a breath.

Instantly my discomfort disappeared. As I forced myself to feel calm.

*No. Its just my own anxiety about the whole thing. Music is personal to me, me playing it I mean. A BD with me murdering Scavs or something I dont mind Is it weird thats sort of how I want the world to think of me? I asked, almost laughing at the idea.

*No, its very you. She said with a laugh. *But I think this is a good thing. Motoko youve got amazing talent. I want to hear you play more. I want to see you up on stage, and have thousands of people cheering you on. I think you can do it, and Ill do my best to help! I want to help.*

*I dont really see myself as a Rockerboy Hiromi.*

*Then maybe you just need to expand who you think Motoko Kusanagi is, because last night, up on that stage, thats what I saw.*

I didnt have a good riposte for that.

*Motoko, its just a BD. Youve even done music BDs before.*

*Its fine. Go ahead Hiromi. I dont really see any negatives from releasing it. Im just uncomfortable with the whole thing, but its nothing but nerves. Ive already taken the step onto the stage. I shouldnt I shouldnt run away from the aftereffects.*

*Nova! Absolutely Nova! Ill take care of it! Ill make sure you dont regret this!*

*I already do.* I teased, but I honestly wasnt that bothered anymore. I had made the decision, and that was that.

Now, I just wanted to get out of the house and do something active.

Ending the call after a few moments of goodbyes, I rose up and started grabbing some gear.

--

I fired half a magazine before realizing it wasnt what I wanted. I was at the range, and wanted to shoot some guns to distract me, but the silencer was sort of ruining it.

There just wasnt the loud bang I needed.

I paused, taking a moment to unscrew the silencer from the Lexington, and then putting it away in my holster, before lining the gun back up and firing.

The rapid fire retort of rounds flying was much better, and I soon fell into the rhythm, using the sound of the gun shots to stop thinking about music.

This was the music I wanted to share with the world.

Round after round, target after target. Until finally the alert I was waiting for came through.

*100 Reflex XP Gained*

*Reflex Leveled up!*

No wait I had been trying to level my Handguns to 8! Not Reflex to 9!

Not that I was complaining, but that wasnt what I was working on!

My own exasperation disappeared in moments as I luxuriated in the feeling. I felt looser, quicker, my body felt more able to respond to what I needed it to do.

It felt great.

Still, I was pretty close to a handgun level up I raised the pistol and started firing.

When I burned through all of my magazines, I took a moment to reload, and fired again, until they were all empty. With that I ran out of the ammo I had brought with, and went to the owner of the range, and bought more.

Fired again.

It felt good to let Cold Blood take over and just feel nothing as I fired over and over.

It was interesting that Cool was a rather subtle stat. It had been pretty high level for so long I had forgotten how it felt when it changed.

Rank 10 Cool.

It wasnt that I couldnt lose my cool. I could still get upset, I could still get anxious, and not want to deal with something.

But the moment I decided. The moment I decided to stop letting my emotions control me, it was like everything changed.

I was in control.

It felt good. One of my favorite things the system gave me, and something I often didnt think about as time went on. It was simply a part of me. Experience, and surety of self that didnt override who I was, but was simply an additive. Something I could fall back on.

Just like someone could practice controlling their anger and still fail to follow through with their practice when the moment came.

--

I didnt go home after the range. Instead I made a call and went to my netrunner cave.

Thankfully the boys responded, and before I even arrived Malcolm and Ichi were both hanging out downstairs.

You guys got here fast. I mentioned as the elevator opened, and both of them were camped out in the chairs food strewn about them.

We were already meeting up to get some food. Ichi explained as he stuffed some chips into his mouth.

They were definitely chips. Yep, couldnt see what it was exactly, definitely. My eyes could magnify my vision? Dont be silly, why would I do something so simple to look at what Ichi was eating.

Well thank you for showing up. It probably wont be too exciting? I just want to get some more practice in, and maybe offer some services. See what interesting things I can get offered up in exchange.

Hey, it wasnt the most thrilling thing Ive ever seen, but it was still interesting. Malcolm replied.

And I havent seen the Combat Zone thing. Malcolm told me about it, but Im interested. Ichi added.

Thanks boys. I said earnestly, and then nodded. Settling into the chair I closed my eyes and then opened them on the net.

I checked everything as I noticed Tachikomas digital avatar wandering around, seemingly much more capable of determining if something was new or not.

It was evolving. Slowly but steadily.