"Well kid, I can tell you right now, I'm surprised you're still alive." Vik explained almost a little harshly, and I winced as he had me on my stomach as he examined my Neural link and Cyberdeck.

"Yeah, I overdid it. Definitely pushed too hard... Is my Cyberdeck okay?"

"Honestly? No." He answered back. "I'm seeing heat damage on the outer connections, some of the internals aren't going to be doing well. This is either an expensive repair job, or..."

"Or I buy a new one... Damn..." I muttered as I plopped my forehead into the cushion.

I had lost my cool at seeing Sasha 'die' and then... Why had I lost my cool so badly?

The question nagged at me, even as Vik slowly extracted the cyberdeck and I winced as I could still smell cooked meat coming out with it, I might have healed, but the smell would remain.

"Alright kid. Well... I'm not seeing any permanent damage in there." He muttered as he inspected my port with his eyes and his scanner. "But I'm not comfortable with the amount of detritus I pulled out with that deck."

"Yeah... I was probably cooking pretty bad. I had to use a MaxDoc before I could even get off the netchair."

"Shit." He muttered, as he settled down and rolled around until I could see him.

Fuck he was giving the the maximum dad glare.

"I know already. I messed up. I just... I thought my choom died... Even though I know she didn't, it was just... I freaked out." I admitted and I looked away unable to handle the shift from disappointed face to worried.

Why, though? Why had I acted like that?

I wanted to growl at myself, I had destroyed myself just to fight, and the whole thing was dumb. What was the point? I hadn't gained anything...

Okay so I had gained something.

*500 XP Gained.*

*100 Breach Protocol XP Gained.*

*Breach Protocol skill level up!*

*1 Perk Point Gained.*

*500 XP Gained.*

Breach protocol level 10. I had maxed it. As I realized it, the data drop activated and I gained an understanding of system architecture in a way I had never thought of before.

There was more to the net than just the ones and zeroes. More than just the level the net ran on. More than even the deep dives hit. It was like there was an under layer, a metaphysical layer.

One that I now had... Not an understanding, or a surety of, but I knew it existed. I knew there was more to the net than most netrunners ever realized.

I blinked away the information. I wasn't going to be exploring the underside of the net anytime soon.

And again, it came back to why.

Why had I acted like that? My Cool stat gave me self control bordering on the super human. Well, almost anyways. Yet, I had absolutely lost myself in the feelings from seeing Sasha die.

I shuddered out a breath and tried to shift my neck only to grumble as once again the stiffness made my upper shoulder muscles ache.

"Kid?"

"It's okay Vik. I'm glad I'm alive, and I did something stupid. Really stupid. I'll need some time, that's all... Just some time, and a new cyberdeck."

"Well... Alright. Listen kid, normally if someone came in with this much damage, I wouldn't even think of helping them get another deck, especially not so soon... But I also know you'll go get one regardless, and I'd rather help out." He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. "That and you are usually good about following my instructions, which is admittedly pretty nice."

"Heh. Glad I can help." I teased before just slapping my face back into the padding.

"I'm guessing you are going to want something a bit higher spec than this poor Seacho."

"Yeah."

"Well that'll be harder. I'll ask around my contacts, but if you want something truly high end? That's gonna take some leg work."

"Got anything short term?" I asked, looking up from the cushion, and he nodded.

"Yeah I got some older Paralines somewhere."

"Gross."

"Hah! That's what every runner I offer that old thing to says. Relax for now kid." Then he leaned in and whispered. "Miracle healing or not, you aren't at one hundred percent." Then he rose up. "Should I call your brother to pick you up?"

"Ugh. No, he drives like shit, and he doesn't have an actual car yet... I can drive. It's even soothing. Thanks Vik."

"Yeah yeah. Thank me by not showing up to my shop with your brain half melted or something next time."

I nodded, grabbed my jacket and threw it on, and then... Home.

—--

"Motoko!"

"Hey Jun." I greeted and then because he was looking a little frantic I walked over to him as he was getting up off the couch to see me and instead pushed into him for a hug, pushing him back against the couch. "There see. I'm fine."

The fact Jun held me tight probably meant he didn't agree, but it was still nice regardless.

"You alright?"

"I'll be okay. But I used a trick I don't want getting out, so if anyone asks, I'm okay but not up to chatting with anyone... I need a new Cyberdeck."

"What happened to your old one?" He asked, pointedly as his gorilla arms held me tight.

"It was damaged. Too much heat."

*Motoko: Yeah, I went overboard for sure. My cyberdeck was damaged, which, Yeah, not great. I was alright though. Had someone watching, and then made sure I didn't fry myself.* I lied with that, but it was the easiest explanation on why I didn't melt my own brain.

*Rebecca: Well good. I'll tell Sasha, she was freaking out. Like really freaking out. Wouldn't go into what happened, just that you had probably killed yourself. Scared the shit out of me.*

*Motoko: Sasha had me go to a Netrunner Combat Zone. Then while I was saying I'm not that interested in trying that out, especially since I've never seen it before. She tricked me into walking into the access Lobby, which threw me into the battle arena. Sasha isn't my favorite person right now.*

*Rebecca: Fuck Fuck! Sasha pulls shit like this sometimes, tricks people into shit. I'm sorry. Shit.*

*Motoko: Not your fault choom... And not Sasha's entirely either. I saw her get beaten, in the arena and I reacted badly. I thought she was dead, but I knew she wasn't. It's stupid I reacted bad, burned myself because of it. Tell her, it's not entirely her fault.*

*Rebecca: You should, maybe tell her yourself? She's really upset.*

I sighed, my face buried into my pillow. I brought my hand up and rubbed at my hair. The cool chrome felt nice. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Sasha.

The feeling of betrayal wasn't entirely accurate. But I still felt it. After trying to save her life, and succeeding, she had pulled that shit on me.

It was a fact that I was going to have to decide if Sasha was still going to be someone I wanted to be around after this. The fact she threw me into a Combat Zone like that without warning wasn't okay.

*Motoko: I'll think about it. Tell her I'm okay for now. I just can't go on the net until I get a new Cyberdeck.*

*Rebecca: Shit, that's serious damage for a Cyberdeck, feel better okay choom? You need anything? I don't have a ride, but I can get around if I need to.*

*Motoko: I appreciate it Rebecca, but I have Jun around if I need something. And I'll probably call up Hiromi and the gang and let them know what's up. So I'll be flooded with people soon.*

*Rebecca: Okay. Okay I'll talk to Sasha, and bitch her out too. That shits not cool. See you?*

*Motoko: For sure! We'll hang out soon.*

I pulled away from the pillow. Sasha was bothered by what she had done? Good. She should be, but... Dammit.

*Motoko: I'm alive, and okay. Cyberdeck is wrecked... That's not your fault. Not entirely anyways. I'm not really in the mood to chat, so... We'll talk another time.*

There. I ignored if I would get a response to that and instead sent some messages to my chooms.

—--

I was sitting on my couch mostly just vegging out, when my front door opened.

"Motoko!" Hiromi's warcry echoed through the apartment and I sat up so she could see me. Then she rushed me.

"Hey, easy!" I said as she nearly leapt over the couch to pull me into a hug.

"You're okay? Not dead? No brain damage? Promise!?"

"I'm okay. Vik checked me over, and other than trashing my Cyberdeck, I'll be okay with some rest."

"Lucky! Lucky lucky! Idiot! To get your cyberdeck hot enough to damage it means it was hot enough to cause heatstroke if not worse! You are so lucky you are... Not drooling mindlessly!"

"I know. I know." I agreed and Hiromi looked me over checking to make sure before seemingly calming down when she didn't see anything wrong. Then she reached for my neck and I let her examine my Cyberdeck port.

"It's fine Hiromi."

"I took a class on overusing netrunners and the damage it causes! Considering how valuable a trained netrunner can be, it's something we are warned not to let them burn out unless necessary! I saw video Motoko! Heads catching on fire was one of the least horrible things!"

"And I'm okay."

Finally satisfied, she nodded firmly. "Lucky."

"I'll be even luckier if I can rely on my chooms as spotters in the future whenever I go into the net. I'll probably set up an emergency coolant in the future."

"Emergency coolant?" She asked with a look.

"Yep! A bucket of Ice water you can dunk my head into if I start overheating!"

"Gonk." Hiromi replied but she was acting, I could see the way her shoulders shook a bit to hold back her laughter.

"It's a good idea you know!"

"It's dumb. I'll put out word for some improved cooling systems, maybe a netrunning cap?"

"Ugh. Those are so ugly though. I'll look dumb with one of those on."

"Wha... You gonk! Armor isn't a suggestion it's mandatory! Isn't that what you told us!?" She said suddenly leaping at me, her fingers reaching for my throat. Yelping a bit I managed to fend her off as she leapt on top of me.

"Hiromi!"

"Wear your stupid netrunner armor you gonk!" She demanded trying to overpower me, but like...

Hiromi wasn't in the best shape so I easily held her hands off.

"Okay okay! You win. I'll wear the dumb Netrunner cap."

"Good! Those are meant to run coolant to your head you numbskull!"

I nodded and then since Hiromi was distracted it was time.

"A chance!" I cried out, surprising Hiromi as I maneuvered my foot up into her stomach and gently flipped her right off me.

She flopped onto the couch with a quiet oof, and then I kicked up.

I landed softly making sure not to land on Hiromi directly as I had flipped our position, pinning her to the couch.

"Heh! You are a thousand years too early to out wrestle me." I told her firmly and then winked as I stood up. "You want a drink? I'm not really planning on going out or anything today, so if you want to hang out, that's cool."

Hiromi was quiet. Sorry Hiromi! Gotta work on that body if you want to defeat me!