161 When I always desire for you
“You are again silent,” Lóng Wei said and a chuckle escaped his mouth. “You shall go to the bed,” he said. He didn’t want to get furious at her because of Shui Feng Lao. Li Hua bowed and stood up. She went to the inner chamber.
Lóng Wei gritted his teeth and rose to his feet. It annoyed him that Li Hua left without answering him. Why!? She should have answered him, instead of leaving. All this shows that she was still in love with Shui Feng Lao. He reached the inner chamber and found Li Hua had removed her upper robe. She was removing the hair accessories when found the reflection of Lóng Wei in the mirror.
She ignored his presence and continued to do her work. She brushed her hair while stealing glances at the mirror. Lóng Wei was at the same place and his gaze didn’t look pleasant.
She put the comb on the vanity table and turned to walk to the bed. Her eyes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly out of nervousness while cold sweat formed in her hands.
“Li Hua, what is in Feng Lao that I do not possess?” Lóng Wei finally spoke. He walked to her and halted before her. “What does that bastard possess that I lack?” His voice roared in the bedchamber and it intimidated Li Hua.
She didn’t dare to look into his eyes. She felt his fingers under her chin and he pulled it up. “I want an answer, Li Hua,” Lóng Wei demanded. The glare in his eyes bore holes in Li Hua’s body. Her mind had gone blank. She was unable to understand what she should reply to him.
Lóng Wei’s hand went to the back of Li Hua’s head and he drew her close. “Don’t you feel anything for me?” His fingers pressed on her scalp and she let out a low cry.
“His Highness is hurting me,” Li Hua said as her eyes filled with tears.
“What about you? Your silence is killing me more,” Lóng Wei proclaimed. “It is making me mad. Why there is this strange look, full of concern for Feng Lao while for me it was never present? It hurts badly. Why can’t you see my genuine feelings for you?” He questioned her. Li Hua rested her right hand on his left forearm and requested him to let her go. Because of the wine, he had lost his senses.
.....
She finally looked into her eyes. “Please let me go,” she urged.
Lóng Wei closed the distance between them as he pulled her close. His left hand circled her waist and their lips almost touched. Li Hua squeezed her eyes tightly while her heart raced at an exceptionally high speed. It felt to her that it would explode. She thought he would kiss her, but he had stopped.
“I love you so much that I am even unable to touch you, kiss you when I always desire for you. You only see him while you are with me. It is torturing for me. Why do you do this? Do you hate me too? Why did you get worried for me that day? Why did you make me fall in love with you when all you think about is Feng Lao.” Lóng Wei’s tone turned gentler.
“I don’t hate His Highness. I have told him this many times. I promised His Highness in the market that I would tell him in the cold palace why I like him,” Li Hua finally spoke. Her eyes were glued to him while her hand caressed his right arm.
Lóng Wei got inquisitive to know.
“He understood me when I never had communication with him. It feels like he has read my mind. I was shy enough to open up to men outside my family. However, with His Highness, I learned what I want. My father, my brothers, and even Feng Lao always told me to stay away from weapons. They always said my hands aren’t made to touch them. However, His Highness saw me differently. My heart fluttered for him at various moments.” Li Hua brought her other hand to her chest near her heart.
“Even with Feng Lao, I never felt this way. I like His Highness because he brought out my real self which I always wanted to see in me. Answering back to the people, I never did it until I got married to His Highness,” Li Hua properly explained to him what she felt about him.
Lóng Wei’s anger went away. His heart melted upon hearing her. His fingers on her scalp moved away and they gently entangled in her hair.
“I apologize for my behavior,” Lóng Wei said.
“I am worried about His Highness too. More than anyone, I am concerned for him. Probably, in my present situation, I am unable to express that concern. Feng Lao saved me that night. If he is alive, I want to question him why he didn’t come to see me. Why did he lie to me? Why did he force me to believe that he loved me?” Li Hua finally revealed what was in her heart.
“I don’t love him anymore. If I had, then my heart wouldn’t have built feelings for His Highness,” Li Hua confessed to him. Her right hand slowly moved up and her soft fingers brushed his left cheek. She gently stroked his cheek for a while.
Lóng Wei felt guilty for raising his voice at her. Li Hua was different from everyone. He knew it better than anyone. He knew his jealousy of Feng Lao was the chief reason behind his anger.
Lóng Wei dipped his head and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He hugged her, wrapping his arms securely around her. Li Hua rested her hands on his back. Her feminine scent was intoxicating for him. He withdrew back, not wanting to lose control of himself.
Li Hua was surprised by his sudden withdrawal. “Let’s sleep. We both are tired,” he said and walked past her when Li Hua grasped his hand. Lóng Wei looked down, then he looked into her eyes, wondering if she wanted to say anything more.
Li Hua tiptoed and planted a soft kiss on his lips. A tiny smile formed on her lips and she immediately turned away. Her cheeks flushed red. “His Highness wanted th-that, so I-” she couldn’t complete her words as Lóng Wei pulled her towards him and captured her lips.