April 19th (Monday) – Asamura Yuuta
Cherry blossom petals no longer line the gutters, and the city has been decorated with
vibrant shades of green. This was a sight I saw every year—pink petals discarded by the
trees that gave them life, and the scenery changing as late spring took hold. It was always
the same.
But for us high school students, not everything stayed the same. Moving up a grade was a
significant change for us. The sets of stairs we climbed to reach our classroom increased by
one. Looking out the window from our new vantage point, we could see the rows of trees
lined up outside, and our view of the school grounds extended further than before. These
small differences were enough to make us feel one more step closer to adulthood than the
year before.
The same went for the view inside the classroom, too. Among the rows of neatly shuffled
students, one-sixth of the familiar faces from the year before were gone, replaced by fresh
ones. Naturally, that meant the atmosphere in the classroom changed as well, and it took a
bit of getting used to.
I reached into my bag to take out my textbook and began getting ready for the first class.
While I was at it, I also grabbed my notebook and a mechanical pencil to jot down my notes.
Now that we were in the same class, Ayase-san's seat was two rows in front and one to the
right of mine. I could barely make out her bright-colored hair among the nearby group of
girls. I’ve kept my promise to Ayase-san and haven’t spoken to her much at school. Well, it's
not like I get that many chances to naturally talk with girls, anyway.
The girls were chatting away energetically in a circle, even though they only had ten
minutes after homeroom ended before class started. I have no idea how they have so much
to talk about.
Ayase-san seemed to be mingling with the group pretty well, participating in their
conversations normally while not looking like an outsider. She seemed to have taken the
changes brought about by the class reshuffle in her stride.
It was the complete opposite for me. Come to think of it, when I was with Maru for PE
yesterday, he said, “Yo, Asamura, I’m worried about you. You eating lunch alone?" I told him
that I really didn’t mind that much and that he shouldn’t worry about it—
But then it hit me. It was already the 19th today. April was almost over. If I don’t get closer
to my new classmates soon, I won’t have that many chances left before Golden Week, which
is only in 10 days.
"Golden Week is coming up pretty soon, huh? It kinda sucks that we’ve just gotten to know
each other, but we won’t be able to see each other for a while," I overheard a girl from the
group say.
It was exactly what I’d just been thinking, so I couldn’t help eavesdropping. The girl who
said it looked disappointed, standing there with her shoulders slumped. The other girls
around her were patting her on the back and stroking her head.
"Aww, you’re so cute, Ryou-chan! I’ll be lonely too!"
There was a chorus of agreement, and one of them followed up with a suggestion to go to
karaoke together.
“Hey, Ayase-san, do you have any plans for Golden Week?"
My heart skipped a beat as I heard the name that came out of Ryou-chan’s mouth.
Buried in the gaggle of girls, Ayase-san said, "I'm probably just going to study for the mock
exams."
“You're pretty serious, huh?"
"You think so?"
“Uh-huh. Sorry if this sounds rude, but I get the feeling you’re a really serious person when
I talk to you. I mean, we're all taking entrance exams, but still, there’s only one Golden Week
this year, y’know?"
“There’s only one Golden Week no matter what year it is."
"B-but, Ayase-san, spending all your time studying sounds boring. Don't you wanna do
other things?"
"Other things...? Like what?"
"Like doing stuff with your boyfriend, for example... ahem ahem," Ryou-chan cut herself
short with a cough. I find it odd that she was embarrassed by her own suggestion; I can’t
really get a good read on her.
–Oops, I’m definitely eavesdropping, aren’t I?
"Hey, boys! No eavesdropping!" One of the girls, our class representative, shouted.
2
All the boys turned their faces away in unison. Also being one of them, I felt the shock
deep down in my heart. But one cocky boy wouldn’t stand for it, shouting, "Hey, I'm not
eavesdropping! I can just hear you, is all!"
Is he still in elementary school?
"Are you still in elementary school?!"
Laughter spread across the classroom, as Class Rep pretty much said what we were all
thinking–even the boys pretending not to listen were getting in on it. Looking around,
everyone had half-amused, half-serious smiles on their faces. Heh, looks like I joined a good
class, feeling the warmth spread through my chest.
"Anyway, what do you mean by ‘doing stuff’? What are we actually meant to do?"
"Oh? Ayase-san, you have a boyfriend?"
"...That's not what I meant. Um, I mean, just doing things with boys in general."
"So it means you are interested."
Class Rep grinned, as if she’d hit a bullseye.
"Nah, not in particular..."
"Well, you could go on dates?"
"Dates...?"
"Y'know, like eating together, watching movies, hanging out at home, or making dinner
with him—stuff like that."
"I see. Um, is that all?"
"Well, yeah... but are you saying you wanna do more than that, Ayase-san?"
–Murmurs immediately rose from the other students.
Ayase-san’s lips moved as she tried to say "No, that's not it." – but just before she could,
the first-period bell rang and the classroom door swung open with a sharp snap. Our
Modern Japanese Literature teacher strolled in. The noise and chatter in the room gradually
died down.
As I looked at Ayase-san's back, I ruminated on the conversation. Eating, watching movies,
and cooking together at home, was it? We've already done all that. Ayase-san's response
was something like, "Is that all?" But that didn't mean she actually wanted to do more,
right? Anyway, this wasn’t something I should be thinking about so early during the first
period.
3
I stole a glance at Ayase-san's face. Our eyes met. She looked a little uneasy, and she
looked away quickly to face the blackboard.
Lately, Ayase-san and I have been making eye contact more often in class. I don’t know if it
was just by chance, or if it was because I unconsciously followed her with my eyes. Maybe it
was because I'd been watching her so much that she caught me staring when she looked
over, and we ended up locking eyes...
"...mura-kun."
And because I daydreamed about stuff like that I sometimes lost concentration.
"Asamura-kun... Asa-mu-ra-kun!"
"Y-yes!"
I didn’t even notice the teacher calling my name. That was a dead giveaway for how little I
was paying attention.
"Continue reading from where we left off."
Textbook in hand, I hastily stood up and began reading to the class as instructed.
"...That's enough for now," the teacher said, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I sat back
down.
"Thank you very much."
Our Modern Japanese Literature teacher was the type to praise even the smallest things,
like knowing a difficult idiom.
Class Rep, seated next to Ayase-san, tapped her on the shoulder as she sat back down.
"You have a really nice voice, Ayase-san."
Ayase-san returned Class Rep's smile with a small one of her own. I wonder if Ayase-san
from a year ago would have smiled back like that. She probably would've just said "thank
you" in an aloof voice without changing her expression at all.
I couldn't pinpoint exactly when, but somewhere along the way Ayase-san had changed.
She'd kept her core personality—not trying too hard to please others–but it wasn't the same
as when she used to call Narasaka-san her only close friend.
Now, she talked casually with the girls in our class. Not just with Narasaka-san or the
people she went to the pool with last summer, but also with classmates she'd only met
when the new school year started. Class Rep was one of those. She was often called Class
Rep instead of her actual name, maybe because of her overflowing leadership qualities.
Ayase-san talked with her as if it were nothing, now.
It'd barely been two weeks since the new school year started, yet she was already getting
friendly with classmates she'd just met. I was genuinely amazed at how much she'd
changed.
Have I grown too?
I recalled what happened when we went to my grandparents' house for New Year's. My
grandfather had been bad-mouthing Ayase-san, and I'd jumped to her defense.
『"Saki is kind, sincere, and a truly hard-working person."』
Yeah, she's always doing her best.
I wanted to overcome something I was bad at too. I thought about Ayase-san chatting
away with the other girls earlier. Like her, maybe I should try to be more positive and
sociable toward other people. Maru once told me that I didn’t show enough interest in
others, after all.
I rested my chin on my hand, lost in thought. I was staring at the blackboard when my
name was called again, and since I hadn't been listening, I didn’t know how to answer this
time around. There wasn’t much point in trying to lie, so I figured I’d just be honest.
"I don't know."
5
"No, I haven't asked anything yet."
"Ah."
The whole class burst out laughing.
I guess I’ve been spacing out too much.
I managed to answer the teacher's question without drawing any more attention to myself,
and soon it was recess.
Yoshida came over to my desk to dig the knife in: “Sup, Asamura. I pegged you as the
serious type, but turns out you're one to fall asleep in class, huh?"
"I was awake the whole time."
"Stayed up late last night? Were you watching porn or something?"
"Nah, nothing like that. I just spaced out a bit."
"I see. But that's pretty unusual for you, right?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Hmm. Well, I probably got the wrong impression. Honestly, we didn’t really talk much
until the school trip."
I replied with an “I guess so." Yoshida and I were in the same class in our second year, but I
didn't really talk to anyone except Maru, so my relationship with him isn’t any different now
than it was before the class reshuffle.
I got to know him a bit better during our school trip when Yoshida, Maru, and I shared a
room. He was a pretty friendly guy and was the first to talk to me after the class change –
“Looks like we’re in the same class again. Let’s get along." Since then, he chatted with me on
occasion.
Unlike Maru, we didn't have much in common, so, by extension, we didn't have much to
talk about. But Yoshida was a good guy and accepted my vague responses. I hadn’t been
proactive in striking up a conversation and two weeks had passed by. But if I did want to
start a conversation, what should I talk about?
"Hey, Yoshida."
"Hmm?"
Crap, what do I say now? If it were Maru, a topic would easily come to mind, but when I
tried to have a casual conversation like this I couldn’t think of anything to talk about.
6
“So, what about you?"
My question wasn't really a conversation starter, I know.
If he’d asked me “So, what about you?" I wouldn't know what to say.
I knew I was bad at making conversation, but Yoshida was a good guy and accepted my
sloppy attempt – “Me? Well, at night I usually listen to music or watch videos."
Ah, I guess Yoshida interpreted my vague and meaningless question as "If you stay up late,
what do you do?"
Then, he listed a few of his favorite songs, but I didn't know any of them. I tried looking
them up on my phone.
"Let's see... Oh, it's an anime opening song."
"Oh really?"
"That's what it says here," I said, showing him the search results. He responded “I didn’t
know that", so I figured he knew the song because it was trendy rather than because he was
interested in anime or manga. Yoshida added he didn’t watch anime or read manga that
much.
Personally, I mostly read books and manga, but thanks to Maru's influence, I also watched
some late-night anime. But, surprisingly, I was behind on the latest trends and didn't know
that particular song. I did a quick search and found the anime’s official website had posted
the song as a promo. I made a mental note to check it out later.
“You’re a real good guy, Asamura."
Surprised, I looked up from the smartphone screen.
"Huh? Why?"
"Well, if you didn't know about the song, you could’ve just let it slide, but you went out of
your way to look it up and try to get on the same page as me. You really are different, man."
Hmm, do I really do that? I’m not sure if that’s true.
I knew that I had a bias towards my favorite genres, not just in reading but also in music
and movies. That bias could lead to narrow-mindedness, arrogance, and narcissism.
I learned the fear of becoming a closed-off person from reading books. That's why when I
read books I try not to just read fiction but also Japanese philosophy, business,
7
When listening to music I didn’t want ignorance to be the reason I didn’t listen to
something. And if I'm going to listen to something anyway, why not enjoy it?
So, I explained my reasons to Yoshida.
"Ah, I see. I don't really get it, but okay."
"It means I like listening to other people talk about things they like. Is there anything else
you've been into lately?"
"Sure. If that's how it is, my recommendations are–"
Yoshida talked about the Youtubers, popular songs, dramas, and the like that he was into.
They were mostly new and unfamiliar genres for me. Maru usually just recommended
watching VTuber gaming livestreams.
I tried to keep up with the conversation by looking up unfamiliar words on my phone every
time they came up. I wasn’t sure if this counted as a conversation, though.
...is this what small talk is like?
Either way, I managed to muddle my way through the rest of recess. It was impressive how
effortlessly everyone else could do these kinds of things. As the bell for the start of class
rang out from the class speaker, Yoshida returned to his seat.
I glanced up after opening my textbook and caught a glimpse of bright-colored hair passing
through my field of vision. For a brief moment, my eyes met Ayase-san’s. She quickly turned
her back and faced the blackboard, but I definitely felt like she had been looking at me.
Or maybe it's because I'm always consciously looking for her that I notice these things...?
***
After school, I stopped off at home before heading to the bookstore where I worked.
As I walked into the office, my manager called out, "Asamura, come here for a moment."
“The thing is, Yomiuri-kun sent a message saying she won't be able to work her full shift
this week because of job hunting."
Today, there were only four people working – me, Ayase-san, and two university students
who just started this spring. So, unintentionally, I had become the most experienced staff
member.
8
"Asamura-kun, I think you are experienced enough to know this already, but returns
processing is going to be pretty tough this week."
"Ah, yes. I suppose so."
Next week was the start of a long holiday, Golden Week, so deliveries would stop. In other
words, magazines that were supposed to be released on Monday wouldn’t arrive. That was
a problem for customers. For regular magazines, people want to read them periodically, and
if a book was released every month, it was expected to be available in bookstores on the
25th.
If it’s a problem for customers, it’s a problem for the bookstore. So then, what happens?
Well, when a release date coincides with a holiday the product, in this case, a book, is
released early. The wisdom behind it is “it’s probably better to be early than late."
So, before Golden Week starts, a week’s worth of books will come pouring into the
bookstore. Our bookstore was decently sized, so the number of books coming in would also
be considerable. And, during Golden Week returns can’t be made. If we don't stack up the
inventory in the office, we have to return the magazines and books that are already selling
well before Golden Week. That way, we can keep the shelves empty.
If Yomiuri-senpai were here, she would have given the returns processing to the other staff
members, but as she wasn’t, I'd have to take the lead.
I kept the conversation with the manager in mind and headed out onto the sales floor.
When I passed by the register, I made eye contact with Ayase-san, who was working the
same shift as me. I gave her a slight nod and proceeded towards the shelves to start
organizing them.
Generally, when I'm on the sales floor, Ayase-san is at the register, and when Ayase-san is
on the sales floor, I'm at the register. We try not to talk too much during our shifts, as per
our agreement. We decided not to be too chatty with each other at work in order to
maintain a certain level of professionalism. That is, within natural limits.
During our break, the male student happened to enter the office at the same time we
were there and Ayase-san and I couldn't continue our conversation in peace. So, we ended
up just sipping our tea without saying much to each other. The male university student
finished his break and the other newbie, a female student, came in just as he left. As they
passed each other, they exchanged a brief, "I'm heading back" and "Sure." The female
student gave us a slight bow and made brief eye contact before sitting down and pulling out
a paperback book from her pocket to read. The aura radiating from her screamed, “Don’t
talk to me." Looking at her, I thought–
9
“Right now, you’re probably thinking I was just like her, aren’t you?" Ayase-san, who was
sitting next to me, muttered in a voice that only I could hear.
I almost spat out my tea.
Without waiting for a response, Ayase-san grabbed her paper cup and quickly left the
office.
The female university student looked up briefly from her book and shot me a suspicious
glance.
What? I didn't do anything.
The shift passed like that, and I was reminded just how important Yomiuri-senpai, our
social lubricant, was to us. Like, if she had been there today, she would’ve casually engaged
the two newbies and us in conversation. It would have been fine to talk to Ayase-san
normally, too.
When Ayase-san and I were alone, I couldn't seem to adjust to maintaining a professional
distance between us, which scared me. Even if we didn’t intend to act overly friendly with
each other, if our colleagues saw us that way, we might end up getting criticized or accused
of doing something inappropriate at work. So we held back. But as a byproduct, we ended
up distancing ourselves from the other two part-timers. It was frustrating, to say the least.
When our shifts ended, Ayase-san and I returned to the office together, only to find
Yomiuri-senpai standing there in an interview suit. She was supposed to have the day off.
Wearing a white shirt beneath a navy suit, and her long black hair tied back in a ponytail,
Yomiuri-senpai looked quite different from her usual style of letting her hair flow down to
her shoulders. It’d probably come off as condescending if I said she looked like someone
who’s good at their job, so I bit my tongue to avoid the risk of pissing her off.
When we entered the office, Yomiuri-senpai greeted us with a playful voice.
"Yaaaho! Have you two been lonely without your beloved senior?"
She was grinning ear-to-ear like a Cheshire cat and, out of sheer stubbornness, I found
myself not wanting to admit that I actually had been a tad lonely.
"Nah, I wasn't really lonely, but I definitely felt the pain of being short-staffed."
"Oh?"
"Anyway, weren't you supposed to have the day off today?"
"Goodness, what's this? Am I nothin’ but a nuisance now? Is that what's become of me?"
10
"No, not at all.”
"Oh, how awful. I came all this way to support everyone's hard work, and this is the thanks
I get?"
"If you said you came here to make fun of our hard work, then I would be convinced."
"What a mean thing to say, Junior-kun. sob sob, whimper, sniffle."
She had an unnecessarily wide range of fake crying routines.
"Um..."
11
12
"So, why are you here anyway?"
"Well, I sorta realized Golden Week is coming up, so I figured I should be a good little
worker and come even if it’s the dreaded late shift.”
So, after her interview, Yomiuri-senpai asked to work the late shift because she knew the
bookstore would be busy. However, she was still planning to work her regular shift on top of
that. Ayase-san seemed to realize it at almost the same time as me and immediately bowed
her head in gratitude.
"Thank you very much."
"No, no, it's no big deal... But go ahead, you can shower me with praise if you wanna."
It was kinda hard to praise her when she was the one who brought it up. Or was this just
her way of hiding her embarrassment?
I also thanked her from the bottom of my heart. After all, it was true what I said about
lacking manpower today.
We finished earlier than planned and stopped by the office again after changing back into
normal clothes. Yomiuri-senpai was relaxing in a chair, with a can of coffee in hand.
I was about to say goodbye when something came to mind, "Senpai, is job hunting hard?"
"Oho, are you interested, Junior-kun? But you two are both planning to go to university,
right?"
Ayase-san bobbed her head and I nodded, too.
"Yeah. I'm planning on going to university, but I'm also thinking about finding a job
afterward."
"You're a pair of little go-getters, huh? When I was your age, all I could think about was
taking entrance exams."
She launched into a rundown of her job-hunting experience. She had applied to a bunch of
companies, like academic book publishers, e-book stores, IT companies, and for office work
at manufacturers and more.
I was surprised by the number of companies she had interviewed with, but honestly, I was
more surprised to learn that she had applied to a wide range of industries despite having a
preference for certain ones.
"I thought you were the sort of person who would go straight for the job you wanted. Are
you really applying to so many different companies?"
13
"Is that what it looks like?"
Ayase-san nodded.
“It does.”
"Oh, really? Do I seem like someone who's got it all figured out?”
"Not exactly like that."
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, then how do I come across to you, Saki-chan? I'm burning inside to hear
your hot take."
"Um..."
Ayase-san groaned and fell silent. I understood why Ayase-san was struggling to put her
thoughts into words. To put it lightly, Yomiuri-senpai's personality was hard to describe.
Ayase-san didn’t respond, so I reluctantly took over, "You're the type of person who’ll go
with the flow when you’re traveling with someone, but when it comes to deciding where to
go yourself, you only choose places you really want to go to."
Ayase-san nodded along in agreement.
"I see it that way too."
"You’re willing to go along with others, but you're also stubborn about what you want."
"Oho. Can you really say I go with the flow? I may be pretty good at faking a smile, but
didn’t you just call me stubborn?”
Well, I did say that.
I said it, but I feel like I chose my words carefully.
“Wow, what a weird person, dontcha think? Do people with such outrageous personalities
really exist?"
Both Ayase-san and I stared blankly at that very person standing in front of us.
Yomiuri-senpai clutched at her chest as if she’d been stabbed with a spear and let out a
dramatic scream.
“Your eyes... they wound me! This is psychological warfare! When did you two start
coordinating your attacks? Show some mercy, will ya.”
"Our instructor was pretty merciless too, like some kind of demon."
14
“Okay, well, I get what you’re trying to say. But when I chose to go to university, I wasn’t
that picky about my job prospects.”
Yomiuri-senpai told us she didn’t pick a university based on her future career, but rather
because it was a convenient location for living in Tokyo after moving from the countryside
while she was taking a break to figure out what she wanted to do.
"So now that I'm lookin’ for a job, I haven't really narrowed down my options yet."
Ayase-san and I listened to Yomiuri-senpai's story with a mix of amazement and
admiration. We never would have thought that someone would enter a prestigious
women's university for a reason like that.
"So, Junior-kun and Saki-chan, you should probs start thinking about it now too."
"Okay."
"Got it."
I had a vague idea that aiming for a university with a high entrance exam score would
broaden my future options, but seeing a concrete example in front of me made me realize
that I should think more specifically about my goals.
“Ahhh, my stomach, it hurtsss. I wonder if I'll get a job offer from somewhere soon."
Yomiuri-senpai moved her hand from her chest to her stomach, and our manager, who had
just entered the office, apparently overheard her, “If you’re that worried about it, why not
just work here?” It sounded like a joke, but his tone was serious.
“Oh, dear manager, quit joking around again, would ya.”
“The pay will probably be good, you know.”
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks."
Even though he just got there, the manager quickly left the office again. Yomiuri-senpai
sent him off with a wave, then lowered her voice so only we could hear, “Honestly, I haven't
really put much thought into staying here for the long haul. I mean, I don't hate the job or
anything, but I think I'll get bored if I keep doing the same thing. I want some new
stimulation, y’know."
It was getting late, so we gave her a wry smile and promised to keep it a secret before
leaving the office.
Job hunting, huh...
Ayase-san and I started walking home, with me pushing my bike beside her.
15
The season was transitioning from spring to early summer, and I rarely felt chilly while
walking outside anymore. The branches of the trees lining the roadside were lush with
green leaves, and the people we passed on the street wore bright colors, ditching the dark
and heavy hues of the colder months. In some shop windows, mannequins wore
summer-ready short-sleeved clothes.
Ayase-san was peering through the glass of the shops we passed to check out the clothes
on display. I joined in, following her gaze and occasionally making a comment.
"Looks like there are a lot of light purple clothes.”
"Digital lavender." Ayase-san pointed to a light purple dress.
16
We turned off the main street and entered a narrow alley leading to our flat. The bright
lights of downtown Shibuya faded behind us. It was a bit harder to see, with only a
spattering of street lights dimly illuminating the road ahead. The noise of the city faded, too,
and it was easier to hear each other’s voices. But, strangely, both of us just continued
walking in silence.
We were close enough to feel each other's body heat, and our shoulders almost touched.
With no words to fill the silence, the only sound that could be heard were our breaths
echoing in the night.
"Job hunting, huh..." Ayase-san muttered as I spotted the entrance to our building,
echoing the thoughts I had when we left work. Her words were filled with vague anxiety
about the future. I wish a job-hunting expert, a career counselor I suppose, would read my
career fortune as fashionistas do for clothing.
We rode the elevator up and opened the door to our flat with a joint “I’m home”. Our
parents hadn’t come home yet. It was normal for Akiko-san, who would’ve only just left for
her bartending job, not to be there. But my old man was busy too due to the new fiscal year
starting, and often didn’t get home until after midnight.
Ayase-san and I ate dinner and washed the dishes together, after which we retreated to
our respective rooms and took turns taking a bath. Ayase-san suggested that we didn't need
to change the bathwater every time to save water, and now we decided who would go first
with rock-paper-scissors3. It had become our little routine.
After getting clean, I either continued studying or read a book if I had finished. It was a
peaceful time before bed.
In the midst of this routine–
“Can I come in?” Ayase-san called out as she tapped on my bedroom door. I told her it was
fine, and she entered carrying two steaming mugs.
A gentle breeze from the air conditioner blew the pleasant fragrance of her freshly washed
hair into my nostrils. I swiveled my chair to face her, and Ayase-san walked me over to me,
placing the mugs on the desk.
"Milk tea?"
"Yeah. I figured it’d be better than coffee before bed.”
“Thanks.”
Ayase-san smiled with a "You're welcome."
"Hey, so, today... You were talking to Yoshida-kun, right?"
17
She probably meant after Modern Japanese Literature.
“Yeah. He asked if I was staying up late.”
"And the teacher called your name multiple times, right?"
"I was just spacing out. So, then we started talking about what we do before going to bed.
Like this–"
I showed her the spine of the book I was reading.
"I read books. Yoshida listens to music, so he recommended some popular songs to listen
to."
I listed off all the song titles and Ayase-san seemed to know them all. She told me her
favorite one, and I said I would listen to it.
Then I fired back a question of my own, "You were chatting to that Class Rep girl who sits
next to you, right?"
It’d become part of our routine to exchange trivial stuff like that with each other before
bed. It was as if we were trying to make up for the fact that we couldn't behave like a couple
in class or at work.
We ended up in the same class and we were very conscious of each other, yet–
"To be honest...I feel a little lonely." Ayase-san muttered, her head down and shoulders
slumped.
"I want to talk to you more in class. I want to be closer to you."
"I'm sorry. I'm not that great at starting conversations."
Ayase-san shook her head, her slightly damp hair swaying slowly with the movement.
"I was the one who said it would be better that way in the first place.”
We didn’t want to attract attention by acting like a couple too openly.
"I know, but still..."
But we didn’t want to suppress our feelings anymore, either. That’s what we agreed on
during the school trip. So, we decided to act naturally. But for some reason, the more we
tried to act naturally, the more unsure we became about how to act around each other.
The hand clasping Ayase-san’s mug was shaking. Unable to bear it anymore, I stood up
from my chair and embraced her slender body. Ayase-san pushed her head against my chest
and rubbed it around. I could hear her muffled voice say, “Asamura-kun...”
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"Kiss me.”
"Okay."
We brought our faces together and closed our eyes. The trembling of the mug sandwiched
between the two of us stopped without us noticing.
Ayase-san pulled away from our embrace and said "good night", then returned to her own
room.
I let out a faint sigh and sat back down in my chair. The door clicked shut, leaving only the
hum of the air conditioner in my ears.
My pounding heart gradually slowed, and Ayase-san’s lingering scent was snatched from
my nostrils as it faded away.
–Is it really okay for us to stay like this?
I wonder what the perfect distance between us should be.
I started reading the book on my desk again, but none of the words made their way into
my mind.
1 A famous phrase in Japanese culture and is often used to express the transformative power of travel
and the passage of time. Its author is unknown.
2 "Isekai" is a Japanese fiction genre where the protagonist is transported to, or reincarnated in, a
different world and has to adapt to new surroundings and challenges.
3 "Janken" is the Japanese version of "rock paper scissors" and uses the hand gestures "guu" (rock),
"choki" (scissors), or "paa" (paper) to determine the winner.
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