Chapter 10: Epilogue

Chapter 10: Epilogue

Ayase Saki's Diary

7th of June (Sunday)

When I said that I was relieved, I really meant it.

I could tell just from meeting him then that he wasn't a bad person.

At the same time, he felt very considerate. n.-0veLbIn

He's willing to put in new hot water in the bath after he's done with his.

I didn't expect him to be a student at Suisei though.

8th of June (Monday)

Asamura-kun called out to me at school.

Contrary to my expectations, Asamura-kun is a very flat and even person.

I don't like the idea of him just taking the rumours about me at face value, but I know that it can't be helped. I know what I look like to others after all.

I was angry. Yet, he accepted that I was angry.

He might be the first person I ever met who was willing to adjust to me like that.

9th of June (Tuesday)

Memo: Asamura-kun likes his fried eggs with soy sauce.

From today onward, I will be cooking food.

Asamura-kun is going out of his way to search for a high-pay part-time job for me, so I will provide him with breakfast and dinner.

He apologized for not being able to find anything, but I knew that it wouldn't be this easy.

Especially asking strangers for help.

If I could do that...

10th of June (Wednesday)

Urk, so embarrassing...

To think he would hear that.

I don't want to look lame, so I try to keep my hard work a secret.

Maaya came to visit us. She's as noisy as always.

The three of us played together, and laughed a lot. How long has it been since I laughed like that.

We exchanged LINE contacts.

It's very much like Asamura-kun to keep a scenery picture as his profile picture.

Thanks... for the umbrella.

11th of June (Thursday)

I have to pay more attention when I dry my underwear in my room, yep.

Underwear is just like every other piece of clothing. How could you be so entranced by it, Asamura-kun...

Luckily, he didn't try anything vile with it.

But...

He said he won't do anything. He admitted to having desires like that, but stated that having them and acting according to them is a different problem.

I couldn't agree more.

Whenever I hear his opinion, I realize that I always sympathize with it. That's probably why I feel so relaxed.

Asamura-kun is dangerous.

He understands me too well.

12th of June (Friday)

Asamura-kun got angry at me for the first time.

In the heat of the moment, I even told him about it. Even though I didn't want to remember it again. Yet, it looks like he experienced something similar to me. I didn't ask what exactly though.

We talked a lot, but there's things I couldn't tell him.

I was willing to sell my body...because I was scared of being indebted to Asamura-kun.

13th of June (Saturday)

At night, Asamura-kun and I ate dinner as just the two of us.

Mom and step-father went off to have dinner as the two of them.

Asamura-kun was the one who came up with it. Shows again that he is considerate even about the smallest details.

That's exactly why I can't call him 'Nii-san'.

Once I start calling him like that, I'll definitely rely on him all the time.

That is one thing I cannot allow myself.

I'm sorry, Asamura-kun.

But...whenever I call him Asamura-kun, deep inside my heart, another emotion starts to rise up, different to me calling him a big brother.

It's a feeling I haven't ever experienced, and I can't put a name on it either.

I only realized that I became conscious of Asamura-kun.

It makes me feel uncertain, even gloomy.

Even when I go to bed, I have trouble sleeping recently.

If I don't listen to calm music, in order to heal my brain cells, then my hands and feet won't relax. Unable to fall asleep without listening to music, how can I even hope to become independent when I'm like this? I feel pathetic.

...Just what is this feeling, really.