Chapter 2: So long and thanks for all the Cheetos!

Chapter 2: So long and thanks for all the Cheetos!

Very few people are ever ready for death. She prides herself on arriving at precisely the right time, but there has been some contention on whether the right time is relative to her or her quarry.

Of course, not many ever actually got to bring that up with her. Chance was no exception. As such, his death went much as most did. After the semitruck hit him, there was simply nothing.

The world blinked out, and then he simply was.

How curious, Chance mused. This isnt how I thought it would be at all. I kind of expected more something.

He wasnt sure exactly what he had expected. Perhaps a choir of angels would have been nice. Some gold brick pathways wouldnt have been remiss either. But Chance got none of that. In fact, he wasnt even particularly sure if he was disappointed that his death was so mundane.

That was only natural, of course. There are not many things that man takes with him as he enters the eternal beyond, and emotions are not one of them. A few people did get the choir, though. Just not Chance.

In the endless abyss, light bloomed. Chance felt himself drawn toward it. The small speck bloomed, quickly filling the darkness with brilliant white. Then there was cold and wet. A lot of wet, actually.

Chance blinked, inhaling and nearly choking as liquid rushed into his lungs. He rolled over, hacking and gasping for air. His body ached as if hed been hit by a truck. After a moment, he realized that was exactly what had happened.

I must be in a hospital. But what kind of shitty hospital leaves a bunch of water in the damn bed? And why is it so bloody hard?

He groaned, opening his eyes. Then he blinked. He was sitting on cold gray stone of an old alleyway, not a plush hospital bed. In particular, he was situated directly on a large puddle of stagnant water. His clothes had been replaced with a dull grey and brown set that looked straight out of the middle ages.

Chance rubbed his eyes and looked around again. Nothing changed. A faint wind howled through the alley, nipping at his wet clothes and making him shiver.

Is this what a concussion feels like? Chance wondered, gently tapping his head. It didnt hurt. He ran his hands over his body, but there wasnt a single wound or even a bruise. A sinking feeling set in as he slowly rose to his feet and stared up at the sky.

The city rose up all around him, but hed never seen such a vibrant hue of purple in the sky. It was almost magenta, with splotches of pink and orange twisting and dancing through it. All of it was hidden by a heavy haze that hung in the air directly over the alley, blurring everything behind it. He swallowed and blinked one last time.

Hello? Chance called. There was no response. The knot in his stomach tightened and he staggered down the alley, peeking into the street. It just led into another, darker alley. Chance turned and ran back the other direction, checking the other exit. Another alley.

Chance pressed his back against the wall, breathing heavily.

What the hell is going on?

Hello? Chance called again. Is anyone here? Where am I? If theres a nurse, Id like to request some morphine. Put me under or something!

There was no response. In his heart, Chance knew why. There was no sky in earth that looked like this.

Is this the afterlife? Chance muttered. Damn shitty one if it is. Can I get a reroll?

Still, there was no response. Bobs words rang through Chances head, and he paused.

You cant be serious, Chance whispered to himself. No way. No goddamn way.

He held his hands out in front of him and bit his lower lip, concentrating. System!

Nothing happened.

Stats! Window! Info! Data!

S. Eat the Cheeto. Quickly.

G-good dog. Go away, or Ill throw up on you.

The dog growled. It tested the liquid with a paw, then put its weight onto it and started slowly moving toward Chance. He forced himself upright with a groan. It hurt more now than it had when hed gotten hit by the truck.

Then it burst into a run. The dog charged at him, leaping over the black sludge in the alley. Chance slipped, falling back and raising his hands defensively with a terrified cry.

Well, this sucks. Thanks for everything, Bob. Sorry I couldnt make more of it.

A deep thrum ran through his body, starting from the point right under his heart. It erupted forth and wisps of golden smoke spilled out of his body. The dog hit the ground right in front of Chance, stretching to rip his throat out.

One of the golden wisps entered it. The monster slipped on the sludge and slammed to the ground, sliding straight past Chance and hitting the wall. A loose brick pitched off the top of the wall and landed straight on the monsters head with a crunch. It didnt move again.

Chance stared at the monsters corpse. Then he looked down at his hands, a hysterical laugh starting to spill out of his chest. He doubled over, howling with laughter as tears streamed down his face.

Several minutes passed before he managed to wrest control of himself again. He slowly rose to his feet, edging over to the dogs body and nudging it with a toe. Its head was caved in it was dead.

What the hell? Chance muttered. He looked down at his hands.

What was that light? Where am I? What is going on?

He unwrinkled Bobs note with shaking fingers and read through it again. Then he folded it back up, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. There was no denying it. He wasnt on Earth. This wasnt a prank. And possibly he had some sort of magic.

Chance tried to call on it again, picturing the golden wisps, but nothing happened.

What a surprise. Im starting to get used to that response.

Chance wrinkled his nose. The alley was starting to really smell. He wasnt sure what the black liquid had been, but it was rancid. Shuddering, he stepped over it and walked out of the alley, moving as silently as possible in case there was another monster lurking around.

Okay. Lets look at the good things. Im alive. For now. Bob gave me a magic Cheeto that did something. I might have magic.

Chance froze. He pulled the note back out, scanning over it again.

Maybe I can find my folk no way. They got hit by a truck. Does Bob mean they could be here too?

Chance read over it several more times, in case hed somehow missed something. He memorized every word before he carefully folded it back up and returned it to his pocket. As far as he could tell, it was his last remaining link to Earth.

He continued through the dark alleys. They all looked the same, but it wasnt like he could get any more lost. After all, getting lost means you knew where you were at one point.

While Chance walked, he continued to try and call on the strange magic that had arisen when the monster had attacked him. He tried picturing the burning sensation and visualizing the mist again, but to no avail.

What changed? Was it a one-time thing from the Cheeto? Or was it because I said thank you while visual-

Molten heat coiled in Chances chest and he gasped. Wisps of gold light emerged from his hands, coiling around his fingers before fading away. He stared at his hand, his heart thundering.

Chance swallowed.

Thank you.