CH 34

<I can’t see Lily anymore?>

A carriage with the characteristic cold light of the Duchy ran.

Inside, young Blake was crying.

He was on his way home after being told not to approach Lily anymore by the Marquis and Marchioness. Even the Duke, his father, who would normally have teased him for being a crybaby, smiled at his son this time.

<Maybe so.>

<Why? We didn’t do anything bad. Sometimes I plucked up weeds, but it wasn’t private land.>

<Cheer up, you b*stard! Suffering comes even when you’re not doing anything wrong!>

The Duke was not surprised, for he knew something like this would happen someday. He was neglectful, and his son liked Lily, so it was a natural ending.

<Can’t I wait?>

<It will be difficult.>

<In the future, Lily will be more controlled and won’t even have time to say hello.>

<Then what about my birthday next year? Then let’s formally invite Lily again.>

<Even if you are not familiar with it, it is not unusual to invite and escort your peers. But now…Since the Marquis won’t allow it, any method is useless.>

The Duke touched Blake’s head.

<Hey! If you really like that girl, you have to know how to give up. You know what I mean!”

<But….>

The Duke couldn’t have been in a good mood to see young Blake weeping with tears in his eyes.

<You will have more things to give up than others in the future. I’m sorry, son.>

He knew how Blake felt, because the Duke also had a childhood.

<The Upus people did not mix with the Imperials. The pure-blood Empires believe that their lineage, which they have maintained for a very long time, proves their nobility. Our lives running through the snow with wolves are never appreciated. They’re like that.>

<Lily isn’t like that.>

<She’s a good kid.”

<I hate nobles……>

<Yeah, they’re bad guys.>

The Duke threw another word to lighten the mood.

<Yes. son. How about this? The Marquis of Hedwick and his wife’s finances are entangled in all directions. If they starve to death, they will feel sorry for us! haha!>

Blake was taken aback at those words, but he soon gave up.

“<Then what will happen to Lily?>

<The girl you like will also starve to death. Even if they have relatives, they won’t accept them if there’s no benefit.>

<Then no.>

<This father really wants to do it, but if you stop, what?>

Blake buried his messy face in the carriage chair.

He thought he would never give up.

A strong man who never bows his knees to anyone.

He would become such an adult.

‘I miss Lily…’

***

Back to the present.

A chilly dawn sank in Lily’s room.

The dust reflected in the moonlight floated in the air, revealing its presence. She was buried in bed, alone the whole time.

Lily sighed as she saw the bowl of puree that Gianna had left behind. It had long since cooled and hardened and lost its role as food.

‘Gianna will be relieved if the contents are secretly empty.’

She took the bowl and quietly left the room to secretly throw away the puree. It was cold and she needed a shawl, but she didn’t have the energy to go down the road. 

‘I’ll just empty this and come back soon.’

From tomorrow onwards, she will eat hard.

So it’s okay to lie today.

Lily was as tired as an old clock from accepting everyone’s consideration…. A watch in which the second hand barely moves once every three seconds.

However, Blake was also standing in the dimly lit hallway.

He looked terrible. He looked like a defeated king, or a rich man who lost all his fortune.

She couldn’t focus properly because she didn’t get enough sleep.

Lily looked at the man for a moment and then passed by without agitation. Blake said when she moved away.

“Miss.”

There was no one around, and only a cracked voice could be heard in the quiet hallway.

“….”

Lily’s blue eyes fluttered. Blake followed her slowly.

“I’m here to talk.”

“I‘d like to decline.”

“Give me a few minutes, I beg your permission. Please.” 

Lily couldn’t go out to throw away the food. She turned around.

Now what?

He wants to apologize? It is questionable whether they can apologize to each other. What’s the point of getting along as well in the first place? If she said she’d stay in the castle as Blake wished, it meant that she still had to give her life to the man without any guarantee. 

“Then I hope it will be a meaningful conversation.”

With Lily’s permission, Blake felt like he had passed a hurdle.

This hallway was never the right place for a long time. Blake saw Lily shivering in the cold, but he couldn’t give her his clothes.

Instead, he decided to end the situation quickly.

Blake hurriedly cleared his dizzy mind. He said what he had prepared in a rough voice.

“I have a wide burn scar on my left shoulder.”

It was nonsense. It wasn’t a story that fit this situation.

But Blake had to tell this story.

“When I was a teenager, my father and I participated in an antique auction in the capital of the aristocrats.”

“….?”

“The noble boys my age came up to me, and wanted to hang out with me. There was no particular reason to refuse.”

The man’s voice seemed faint as if he were searching for old memories.

“They took me like that and stunned me with a wooden stick.”

“I don’t know your intentions now.”

“I woke up and found myself locked in a shabby barn in an unused forest. Can you guess what those guys were shouting outside?”

Blake laughed wildly.

The moonlight shone on the well-woven shirt.

– You savage b*stard! Where did you come from? Don’t come out of your trash!

-If you get down on your knees and beg, I’ll let you out!

– Promise you’ll never come out of the land of barbarians again. Or I will set a fire to purify your filthy blood!

The more he talked about the past, the more Lily’s face became distorted. She thought it was a good thing it was dark in the morning.

“What is kneeling? I hit the wall of the barn with all my might. I heard a squeak from the termites gnawing at it.”

“…”

“There, the frightened b*stards really set fire. The flames engulfed the barn in an instant and spread to my clothes.”

He could have saved his life if he begged even if it was too late… 

As a teenager, Blake didn’t want to.

“The more the smoke filled it, the harder I hit the wall. Can you see the result? Well, as you can see, I’m alive here. The wall fell and I escaped. It left a burn mark on my shoulder.”

He escaped and rushed to the noble boys.

Most of them were permanently disabled by Blake’s hands.

As a result, Blake was taken to trial, but fortunately, the settlement was settled. Most of the noble children were the only children to succeed their families, so it was a business that remained.

“Well, anyway, that’s what it was.”

His voice was pitiful. Lily, too, assimilated her feelings, but struggled to resist.

“It’s a sad past, but I don’t know why you’re bringing up such a story. If it was to win sympathy, you succeeded… did you think that I would accept an apology for this?”

“If you think it was sad, that’s a good effect. But I have something else to say.”

“What?”

“I never got down on my knees. Even before the moment of death.”

“…So?”

“Never, never, under any circumstances have I ever begged…”

Lily heard a dull sound. The man knelt on the stone floor where there was no warmth. For some reason, her chest ached.

“I’m sorry.”

He apologized with sincerity.

The man did not know how to make elegant sentences from birth. Like other nobles, he could not convey his intentions in an elegant way of speaking.

It was the only way to spit out the truth so harshly.

This was the greatest apology the man could make.

He couldn’t even take one step closer because he was afraid Lily would be scared.

Why was he so helpless?

He was more helpless than when he was locked in a barn. He felt like he hadn’t grown at all.

“I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I will never be selfish again. We will discuss everything about you together.”

He put his hand in pocket and fiddled with the locket necklace.

He felt something hot inside and his eyes reddened.

“So let me off this one time. Lily.”

Blake took out the necklace with the tone of voice that called her when he was young.

The necklace gently placed on the floor absorbed the cold.

“Just once….”

The man didn’t even mention that his work was messed up because he couldn’t sleep at all.

Instead, he continued to mutter, staring at the gray stone floor.

“Only once….”

Lily couldn’t believe it.

Blake was clearly crying. Even though it was a cynical first impression that she thought that iron was flowing instead of tears in his body.

Lily approached slowly.  All her nerves went to the necklace, and she wondered what it was and why Blake had it.

Under the dark shadow of the castle, Lily picked up the necklace.