Chapter 1 Crotch Deep In The Apocalypse

Leon awoke to the sound of a loud clap and nervous chatter.

"Where am I?" He groaned without raising his head. "Oh, I'm still in class. I better fake sleeping with 60℅ believably. This is a perfect opportunity to improve my reputation."

Leon was in the middle of a college lecture when he suffered a narcoleptic episode and fell unconscious. Now that he was committed, he wouldn't let the opportunity go to waste.

"Let's finish up! Caitlyn Mira. Make your wish. What type of power do you want to survive the apocalypse? You'll get the power with the closest fit to your description."

"Eh? Caitlyn? Apocalypse? Oh, I must still be dreaming." Leon mumbled lazily.

"The powers of a legendary angel. That includes the ability to fly." Caitlyn replied tersely.

"Great answer. It shall be done." The speaker replied.

"Wait. That was Caitlyn speaking." Leon groaned before slowly taking his head off his desk.

Curiosity superseded reputation in his mind, so he had to make up reputation points later.

He opened his eyes to find that the lecture hall was filled with nervous-looking students. Only then did he notice that his professor wasn't speaking. Instead, it was a large man in golden robes.

"Hoh? It's great of you to join us…. What's your name, child?" The man asked in amusement.

"Hunter S. Thompson." Leon replied without hesitation.

"Why were you sleeping, Hunter?"

"I have narcolepsy."

"Is that an excuse?"

"Only when it suits me."

"Is it true?" The man asked Leon's professor.

To his surprise, the professor nodded his head in the affirmative, so he picked up a sheet of paper and read through it quickly.

"Hmmm. I'll make an exception, then. My name is Tidus Litticus, Leon Traxler." He announced with a bemused grin, "The apocalypse is among us. Aside from things like immortality, you may choose any power to survive, and you'll be granted a power with the closest match to your description. What do you choose?"

'Bingo. This is a reputation building salad. I'm behind, so bring on the windfall.' Leon thought opportunistically.

"What is this, a psyche test? I haven't heard this question since I stumbled into a DxD night thinking it was your wife's swinger party—"

"Leon!" Caitlyn yelled, "Please, answer his quest—"

Tidus lifted his hand to mute the young woman, who looked like a sheltered tennis player.

Caitlyn wore a plain white tank top and skirt and had blonde hair in a ponytail.

Her lips glistened with lip gloss, and her ears had small diamond studs. She was [that] girl.

So seeing her show concern for the guy with shaggy brown hair and baggy long sleeve V-neck was as unrealistic as it was stereotypical.

"What do you choose?" Tidus repeated.

"Are we talking powers you get in fantasy novels?" Leon asked with a straight face.

"Something like that." The man chuckled.

"Well, in that case, I'd like a harem of overpowered women that could drown me in magic items and do all the fighting for me." Leon answered with a serious expression.

The room fell dead silent, causing the young man to turn his head from side to side. He was being dead serious for once, but they didn't know that. He should've got at least a few laughs for such an absurd-sounding answer.

"Leon…." Caitlyn whispered while facepalming.

"Are you being serious?" Tidus asked.

Leon turned back to the man, and his aloof expression turned razor sharp.

"Absolutely. Being surrounded by overpowered people is a key to survival." He reasoned, "However, finding strong companions that won't betray you in the apocalypse is a pipedream. A harem of overpowered women solves the two most critical elements of survival at once."

Tidus stroked his cleanly shaved chin.

"That's a shocking astute point." He mused.

Everyone in the lecture hall gasped in astonishment when the man started contemplating.

"No way…." One of the men shouted.

"That's actually an option!?" Another added.

"Can I—"

"Silence! You've all made your decisions." Tidus said in a stern voice while lifting his hand.

Groans filled the classroom.

Leon's expression went from confused to bewildered. He was answering seriously in the abysmally small chance this wasn't a joke. Now he was suspecting it wasn't.

"Tell me, Leon Traxler." Tidus requested, "Are you a virgin?"

The class burst into laughter.

"Yes." Leon replied without hesitation.

The room roared again.

"Hmmm. So forward… interesting. One such power exists, and you meet the requirements." Tidus announced with a bemused smile.

Many men groaned in response.

"It allows women tied to you to become stronger through relationship developments.

However, it'll restrict your ability to grow through combat, and your primary source of power will be borrowed through the members you're contracted with

Moreover, women won't materialize. You'll have to find normal women like those in this classroom and get them to join your harem.

You'll be mostly defenseless during this time. Do you still want this power?"

Sighs of relief washed over the men who were grumbling. Their jealousy instantly disappeared.

"Hah! Good luck with that, virgin!" A good-looking man, a few seats over, chuckled arrogantly.

The room burst into laughter again, and scoffs came from the women.

Unfortunately, his reputation was too good at the wrong time.

"So it's an investment?" Leon asked with narrowed eyes.

"Correct." Tidus replied with a grin.

"Leon! Look out the window!" Caitlyn cried, "There isn't time to—"

BOOOOM!

A massive explosion rocked the lecture hall, causing screams when small chunks of debris fell from the ceiling.

"What the hell—"

"Leon! What is your choice!" Tidus yelled.

"Yes. I'm being dead serious. I'm turning down the abilities to eat monster cores, craft legendary items, manipulate blood, level up goats, become a vampire, raise the dead, and summon shadow armies.

I'd choose instant death if it were an option, one punch kills only works if you can punch something, and hyper-regeneration is useless if you're swallowed.

Overpowered harem is my final answer. Now can you explain what's going on now!?" Leon cried.

"It's been done. Best of luck, everyone." Tidus announced while lifting his hands.

A rainbow of color exploded in the room as various colored lights enveloped each person.

Leon's color was purple and significantly brighter than the others.

DING!

A video game-like interface popped up before his eyes.

—

[Congratulations! The Harem God has found you amusing and has gifted you a power.

Power: Harem Leveler Lv 1.

Description: Make contracts with applicants to increase their power.

Requirements: None

Patron Note: "When you die today, I'll take you on as an apprentice to run my PR team. Hah! - HG"

-

Congratulations! The user….

—

Leon passed out mid-sentence, and his face smashed into his desk.

"Leon!" Caitlyn screamed.

"What? You're concerned about Leon!? Caitlyn! We need to run!" The arrogant good-looking man yelled while trying to grab her hand.

Tidus watched the scene with amusement.

"Hmmm. He wasn't joking after all." He chuckled, "It's a shame. I'd have liked to see if he could back up those words. He was strangely discerning, confident, and articulate for a class clown. Pity."

He scanned the room one last time.

"Best of luck to all of you!" Tidus yelled while his body glowed with white light.

A second later, his body disappeared.

BOOOOM!

Another explosion rocked the room.

"Leon!" Caitlyn cried.

"Caitlyn! We need to go. Leave the idiot behind!" The good-looking man yelled again while forcefully grabbing her wrist.

"Get off of me!" She yelled while pulling back.

Fortunately, she underestimated her new strength and sent him hurdling over the desk.

"Leave her, Able!" Another student yelled.

The young man rubbed his head in confusion as his posse grabbed him by the arms and started dragging him towards the door.

BOOM!

Yet another explosion went off.

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

Boom! Boom! Boom!

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

Screams filled the classroom as bats smashed into the back windows.

,m "Let's go! We're moving to the cafeteria to regroup!" Lindy ordered.

However, Caitlyn ignored her, causing Able's face to flush with anger and jealousy.

"Caitlyn! Let's go!" Able yelled aggressively.

"I can't leave him! He's our best shot at survival!" Caitlyn screamed. "Lindy! Sarah! We need to take him with us!"

"We can't, we need to go!" Lindy yelled back.

"I'll help you carry him, Caitlyn…." Sarah announced quietly, but Caitlyn didn't hear her, and Lindy ignored her.

"Then I'll stay!" Caitlyn roared while grabbing Leon under his arms.

The group of students looked at each other with confusion in their eyes.

"We're all going to die if we don't leave. But you're saying he's our key to survival!?" Able yelled, "How the hell does that make sense? He falls asleep randomly!"

"That's because you never pay attention to him! You'd understand if you did!" Caitlyn snapped.

"Oh, I get it. You have a crush on him, don't you?" Able laughed.

"And if I do?" She growled.

"Then it wouldn't matter! We need to go, and you're coming with us whether you want to or not!" Able declared.

His hands filled with fire, and he pointed them at Leon's unconscious body.

Caitlyn panicked, and her body flashed in golden white light.

White feathered wings ripped through the back of her clothes, mesmerizing Able, Lindy, and Sarah.

Able's magic activated accidentally, prompting Caitlyn to pull Leon from his seat. In the process, her wings shot them into the sky.

Unfortunately, her flying was too fast, and she flew into the back window, crashing through it.

The eyes of twenty red, grotesque-looking bats locked onto Caitlyn and Leon.

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

Caitlyn's eyes widened with shock.

"Caitlyn!" Her friends yelled in terror as they saw the various bats rushing to her position.

A bat threw its claws at Leon, who she held against his chest.

To everyone's surprise, her reflexes were shockingly amazing.

She extended her arms with Leon outward to prevent him from harm and turned her body simultaneously.

The bats' claws missed her body but ripped her tank top instead, exposing her cute pink bra.

"Wheeeeeeeeew!" Able whistled with a smile on his face. The arrogant student was impressed by what he saw.

Lindy's face flushed with rage, and she threw a punch at Able.

The young man dodged but was shocked to find that she had subconsciously activated her water manipulation power.

As an effect, the water swirling around her wrists exploded in his face, sending him crashing into the wall on the other side of the room.

"Guuuuuuh…." Able moaned.

"Anyone else think this is funny!?" Lindy roared.

Sarah grabbed her. "Lindy, please! Let's get out of here!"

"Where do you think you're going!?" Able's friends yelled.

"To eat a dick and die land, Timmy!" Lindy yelled. "Sarah, throw up a barrier!"

"I-I don't know if I—" Sarah stuttered.

"You asked for a legendary support class! It would be a shitty legend if it didn't have one. Just try!" Lindy yelled.

Timothy and his friend rushed forward to prevent Sarah from finding out.

"Get away you creeps! Barrier!" Sarah screamed while pushing out her hands.

A yellow barrier instantly materialized, separating the groups.

The two pounded on the yellow barrier violently.

One materialized an Uzi out of thin air and shot it at the barrier.

"Gahhhhhhh!" Timothy's friend screamed out.

The bullets ricochetted and hit the friend in the stomach.

"What the hell!? Martin!" Timothy cried.

He threw the gun and tried to help his friend.

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

A bat swooped through the open window and grabbed the man by the throat.

"AGH! PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN! YOU BITCHES! JUST Wait, I'm…."

Ratatatat!

"Screeeech!"

Timothy materialized another Uzi, but the bat took the shots and continued flying as if it weren't perturbed.

"...going to kill… you… two…." His voice trailed off as he flew into the distance.

Able staggered up from the ground.

"No! [I'M] hahaha… gonna be the one… haha… to FUCKING KILL YOU TWO!" He roared.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna rip off your testicles and shove them in your mouth so you can't spew nonsense anymore." Lindy scoffed.

She grabbed Sarah's shaking hand and led her out of the room.

The entire room illuminated with vibrant red light abruptly.

BOOOOOOOM!

Meanwhile, in the skies above the campus, Caitlyn was weaving in and out of attacks from the bats.

She hadn't made it far and was currently above the stadium in the middle of the campus.

"Tch! Flying doesn't seem like the best option anymore!" Caitlyn complained.

The young woman had cuts on her arms and legs from narrowed misses.

However, Leon was untouched.

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake up! We need that mind of yours to make it out of this!"

Leon groaned as he snapped back into the world of the living.

Caitlyn's face lit up with a grateful smile when she heard his voice.

"Where am I?" Leon asked in a muted voice.

"These pillows are legendary, but I feel sick. Is this the infirmary?"

He nuzzled his head in the [pillows] deeper.

"Leon!" Caitlyn screamed with a bright red face.

"Huh? Caitlyn?" Leon asked while pulling his head away.

He looked up and found Caitlyn looking down at him.

Leon panicked, believing that he was lying on top of her.

He looked down to avert his eyes, only to get shell-shocked by the fact they were fifty feet above the stadium.

That was worse, so he went to look in front of him only to find her pink bra on her shirtless chest.

"What the hell is going on!?" Leon cried while failing around.

"Woah! Leon stop moving so much!" Caitlyn screamed.

Understanding the situation instantly, Leon grasped on tighter and stopped moving.

Caitlyn sighed a breath of relief and looked back at her surroundings.

"SCREEEEEEECH!"

The young woman panicked when she saw the claws of a bat a foot away from her.

She moved Leon out of the way and dodged at lighting speed but dropped him.

"No!" Caitlyn screamed.

Leon panicked as well but acted immediately by grabbing her ankle mid-air.

"Hel…peh?"

His face turned bright red when he looked up, only to find her cute pink panties and bubble butt staring back at him.

"Leon! Climb up! I can't fly with your weight on my ankles!" Caitlyn cried.

"I-I…." Leon stuttered with a red face.

"It's okay! Now hurry up so we don't die!" She screamed.

"Okay!" He replied while grabbing onto her other ankle.

Trying his best not to look, he started awkwardly climbing up her legs into her skirt.

Luckily, he was fit, so it wasn't that difficult, aside from the turbulence.

"Once you reach my waist, I'm diving downwards!" Caitlyn announced while dodging another attack in place.

She did her best to stay in one location while he oriented himself.

"Okay! I'll let you know when I'm anchored! A few more seconds!"

Leon grabbed her waist just below her skirt line and above her panties.

She winced when she felt his grip strength on her body, but she took it like a champ.

Then Leon went to grab the other side.

"Wait!" Caitlyn yelled out in a panic.

Unfortunately, it was too late.

Leon's hand grabbed blood that had soaked through her skirt from a wound on her side.

He immediately slipped downward, gripping on anything he could get a hold of.

Luckily, he did find something—her ankle.

He was back to square one, but at least he was still alive!

Before attempting to grab her other ankle, he looked down to confirm he wasn't falling.

At that moment, he realized his hand wasn't free.

He stared, wide-eyed, at the piece of cloth in his hand before looking up.

Caitlyn's face flushed bright red to the tip of her ears.

She knew it wasn't Leon's fault, but she was mortified to the point that she couldn't think rationally.

The young woman was in the air, dodging creatures with a man dangling from her body.

She was already as conspicuous as possible and received a few whistles from people screaming things like [I can die happy now!].

Now her skirt was lifting in the breeze, she had no panties, and a man was staring at her crotch.

"Gahhhhhhh! Leon!" Caitlyn screamed while reflexively kicking him off her.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Leon yelled as he fell to the earth.

Caitlyn panicked when she realized what she had done.

"Attttlasssss!" She cried as she plunged to the earth after him.

—

[A/N: Well, you know what you're getting yourself into. XD This is a whimsical comedy with the standard level-up harem adventure elements you love.

Warning: I'm not contracted so please cut me some slack on grammar and spelling until I do get contracted.

Enjoy this wild ride!]