Chapter 13 Flipping Aphrodite The Bird

"On one condition. If either of you questions my methods until we're safe, I'll throw you into the vortex myself." Leon declared.

An icy chill crawled down the women's spines.

"I got a pretty fucked up power. You can complain about it when we survive, understand?"

Lindy and Sarah nodded their heads obsequiously.

"Let's give this a trial run to make sure you understand. What I'm about to do is completely necessary." Leon announced.

Then he turned to Caitlyn.

"Take off your bra and kiss me like we're about to die." He ordered.

Lindy and Sarah's faces flushed red to the top of their ears.

Then their legs went numb from blood loss when Caitlyn ecstatically removed her bra.

Leon accepted it chivalrously and handed it to Lindy unceremoniously.

Lindy looked like an employee that was asked to give their boss a handy for a promotion as she accepted the bra.

However, proof that God lost the war against Satan was staring at her to the right, so she accepted it with a cringing expression.

The moment it touched her hand, Leon glanced at Caitlyn's perfect c-cup breasts and light pink nipples before connecting his mouth against hers.

KYAHHHHHHHH!

CRAAAAAAASH!

BOOOOOOOOM!

A massive dust cloud filled the sky as a skyscraper collapsed.

"H-Hurry!" Lindy screeched in terror.

"I'm trying!" Leon snapped. "Interface."

—

Welcome to Aphrodite's Corner.

Balance: 70 SP

Patron Note: "Having sexual experiences trying to save your life is kinky. How~ever, having a sexual experience knowing you might die a virgin otherwise is hot af.

Either way, at least try to enjoy it, for fuck's sake! I want to help, but don't ask for an Iron Curtain handout.

Gods help those who help themselves. Now, put some heart in it, or at least two fingers! ;)"

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—

"Twenty!? That was worth fucking twenty!? Wait. Fuck me. Interface." Leon groaned.

He turned to the two women staring at him nervously.

"Lindy, Sarah, close your eyes, turn around, do something. I doubt you believe me, but I'm doing my best to keep us alive—"

"THERE YOU ARE YOU FUCKING CUNTS!" A previously good-looking man yelled.

He was missing half of his hair, had second-degree burns all over his body, and had a really pissed-off mug.

"Wait, Able!?" Lindy cried.

"Hah, you're surprised I'm alive, aren't you. Fucking whore!"

Leon's forehead almost burst a blood vessel.

"—so you'll need to turn away or stop—" He continued while ignoring the man.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? DON'T LOOK AWAY FROM ME!"

"A-Leon, shouldn't we—"

"Lindy, stay focused! This person's just a ghost; he can't hurt you."

"Ghost!?" Lindy cried. "He's charging up a fire—"

"Caitlyn." Snap!

Leon snapped his fingers, and the man disappeared from Lindy's field of vision.

"Where did he…."

"... aghhhhhhhhhHhHhHhHhHhH!"

"Lindy! Focus! I can't keep us alive if you're screaming, cringing, or doing anything else to ruin the mood." Leon explained hurriedly.

Lindy snapped back to focus and turned back to Leon. "Y-Yes…. Sorry, it's just…."

"YoOoOoUuUu BiiiiiTtChChChChCH!"

BOOOOM!

Lindy's face went blank again, and her vision darkened.

"Lindy, focus!" Leon ordered, pulling her panicked eyes away from the side street that now looked like a Jackson Polock painting.

Lindy snapped to reality again with a jolt.

"No… wait. This speechlessness you're exhibiting. That's prime. Keep looking at that ghost's body and give me thirty seconds of mildly-traumatized silence.

Do that, and I'll keep you alive. Sarah, you've been doing wonderful. Keep it up."

"Y-Yes. I'll do as you say, just help me stay alive…." Lindy whispered.

Sarah turned to Leon with a facial expression glued stiff with mild trauma as requested. She slowly raised a hand to give a thumbs up.

Ding!

[Requirements met! You have received a new—]

Leon turned his head so that Lindy wouldn't see the exasperation written on his face. Now wasn't the time to block his vision with notifications!

"Great. You're both doing stellar. Caitlyn." Leon called out.

"Yes, my love?" Caitlyn chimed.

He whispered in her ears, and she flushed red with embarrassment and excitement.

"O-Of course. If that's what you want, then I'll be pleased to make your dream a reality!"

"It's not a dream." Leon groaned.

"Then I'll be pleased to make your vision a reality!" Caitlyn corrected.

"Vision… that's somehow worse." Leon grumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Caitlyn asked with a nervous expression.

"Nothing." Leon chuckled with madness in his eyes.

He took a deep breath and looked Caitlyn deep in the eyes.

Then he pulled her body close, groped her breasts during a kiss, and slid his hand down her thigh before gliding up her skirt.

"Are you ready?" Leon whispered.

"Yes." Caitlyn replied with a flushed expression.

Lindy was in a deep state of panic. The explosions were growing closer, the screeches were approaching quickly, and yet her saviors were… hidden behind a set of angel wings.

"G-Guys…." Lindy cried nervously.

The scene around her was getting alarming.

"Can you please…." She stopped mid-sentence and shook her head.

The thought of speaking felt absurd. Leon and Caitlyn could escape, yet they were making a plan. She doubted they'd risk suicide to save her life.

Moreover, she was confident in Leon, so she listened to the sounds instead of looking.

Her hands were ready at any point to launch a Cyclone Shot at max power.

She anticipated that she had twenty more seconds before she needed to start firing.

"Yeeeeiiiiiiiyaaaaahhhhhh!~" A rabid creature squealed from a few meters away.

Ding!

"Watch out!" Lindy yelled.

BOOM!

An abrupt rainstorm assaulted Leon the instant he got a mysterious notification.

More accurately, Caitlyn was hit at full power from a superhuman water ball spinning at 300 mph.

The attack was what one would expect if a fastball made love to a curve ball during a hurricane, and nine months later, it gave birth to a serial killer that baseball nuns couldn't exorcize.

Lindy's eyes opened when the attack hit, and her life flashed before them.

Of all the terrifying creatures approaching them from the east, she'd choose any of them over the woman she used to call her friend.

Yet that's exactly who she hit! The unworldly, inhumane squeal came from Caitlyn of all people!

After watching Caitlyn drop Able from a height of 80 feet unceremoniously, she came to a conclusion—that height wasn't necessary to kill him!

Not at all. Thirty feet could've done it. No, perhaps forty, fifty, even sixty feet.

Yet the blonde demon in angel cosplay felt the need to lift him 80 feet in the air and did so in less than three seconds.

Now Lindy had hit that creature with an attack that would shatter a Humpback Whale's spine, and she was certain death was approaching.

However, something far worse happened. Caitlyn turned to Lindy with the most ecstatic and crazed look she had ever seen before saying—

"Thank… you… for the assist." Caitlyn panted with a euphoric expression.

She still didn't have a bra on, so the woman's white skirt was now soaking wet, showcasing she didn't have panties on either.

"What the fuck did you two do!?" Lindy cried under her breath.

Sarah turned away and shut her eyes, willing to brave getting eaten by monsters than deal with the awkward situation unfolding.

"Hold up, Lindy." Leon ordered in annoyance.

The young woman snapped back into reality at the sound of his voice.

In a moment, Lindy realized she was still alive, monsters weren't killing her, and her escape plan wasn't toast.

Something about Leon's voice was strangely reassuring.

Perhaps it was because he was annoyed despite the world sounding like a pack of rabid squirrels tightly squeezed in a clogged blender. Perhaps.

However, it didn't matter. Lindy was just grateful for it.

While Lindy pondered the strange phenomena known as Leon Traxler, the person in question was staring at his interface with a twitching eyebrow.

—

Ding! [Congratulations! The user has partaken in something [freaky] for the first time. The user has leveled up!]

Ding! [Congratulations! Your antics have amused the Harem God yet again. He has rewarded you!

Patron Note: "Attaboy! - HG"]

Ding! [God's announcement! God candidate Leon Traxler has released a new video! Name: Flipping Aphrodite the Bird! It has been uploaded to the Forbidden Library.]

[Ding! Aphrodite is pleased and has rewarded you for your actions. 931 SP points have been added to your account and (1) Aphrodite's Bondage Tape for Basic Bitchaz (20ft).

Patron Note: "I love a man who doesn't simp on my orders. I'm shivering…. Shut up and take my bondage tape!

Instead of two fingers, you used one—the middle finger—and you unenthusiastically flipped me the bird in the most shocking and exalting way possible.

Somehow you generally followed my orders but interpreted it in a way that maximized the opposite meaning. How rebellious! How—"

—

Leon cut his reading short with an exhausted look on his face.

Then he materialized a 50-foot roll of pink and black latex bondage tape from thin air.

It was zebra print. Zebra print. Fucking zebra print. And it had FREAKY written everywhere in bold capital letters.

Leon stared at the tape with the eyes of a dead fish.

Anyone else might have seen the tape and thought, [hmmm, looks like a basic bitch sex product to me]. However, there was a huge difference between Leon and everyone else.

He had seen catalog photos of Aphrodite's Bondage Tape for Basic Bitchaz (20ft) bondage tape.

It was elegant, refined, and erotic, as one might expect from the Greek Goddess of Sexual Love and Beauty's product line.

The tape came in three colors: latex black, hot pink, and neon purple. Three sexy and provocative solid, patternless, wordless colors.

It also came in one length, a 20-foot roll. It was the perfect amount of tape to enjoy during multiple exploratory nights without announcing that a person needed industrial quantities or was saving up for the apocalypse.

These stunning features were expertly tailored to the basic bitch concept that formed the core of the Basic Bitchez product line.

The main benefit of the Basic Bitchez product line is the simplicity that allows a user to enjoy the desired effects of a sex product without the awkwardness of it screaming [I'm a sex product].

For example, if a person hoped to tie a gaggle of college girls together with bondage equipment, they may seek to make it look like a robbery instead of a kinky adventure.

That's why Leon was thrilled to have received a Basic Bitchez product for free and was currently not taking valuable time considering whether to buy another.

"Is everything okay, babe?" Caitlyn asked in a golden haze. It was clear her first sexual experience didn't disappoint at a glance.

"Ah. Yes. Everything's peachy." Leon replied after snapping back to reality. "Okay, so who's afraid of heights?"

—

[A/N: Clearing up confusion. Leon did something under Caitlyn's skirt with his middle finger to make her screech like a monster. Please use your imagination, there's only one thing that makes sense... kek. Regarding the tape: Aphrodite said she gave Leon basic bitch bondage tape. However, what she gave him was nothing like the tape he was trying to buy. It's like he was trying to buy an apple, and she handed him a durian fruit and said it was an apple.]