Chapter 202: Crotchety Piece Of Software!

"Do you know this person?" Aquina asked.

"Oh yes, better watch out, she is an extortionist at heart and will use everything you have to get you to do things for the klutz. Not only is she the biggest gossip, but she is a walking time bomb of Murphy's law just waiting to go off. Maybe we could just pretend like we didn't see the note…"

"DAVE!"

The muffled yell came from the basement, and it made me laugh, but it was cut short by the round warning. Our time was up, time to head outside and see what was next. 

WARNING, LOCKDOWN IN PROGRESS

SURVIVE THE REMAINING 4 ROUNDS INSIDE THIS HOUSE TO ADVANCE TO THE NEXT ROUND

Ugh, so many rounds, but suddenly, everything around us changed. The once beautiful house was now a half-destroyed mess, it was like someone had turned on the doomsday switch had been turned on. The outside was craters and burning fields, and then metal shutters dropped down on the side windows and the small kitchen window.

That left only the two big windows in the back of the house, and both of us cracked knuckles. With Sally and Sam Sammich in our hands, we dashed to the windows. We got there just as green light beams began flashing down and dropping off the little green men, but they were relentless, only by pushing them into a group with Sam, and then pulling out Rip to get them with the Xplodey shot.

[12320pts] 

The last little bastard finally died and the shutters slammed down. Lots of points, but no way to get out and collect the ammo that was slowly disappearing from the first ones we had killed. 

[09:59 Minutes until next round]

"DAVE!"

I stopped on the floor and trudged over to where I had noticed a door in the kitchen when I was walking through. I grabbed the handle, but it was locked. Of course, it was, but there was a string attached to the knob will old skeleton key looking thing, but it was missing all its...I could feel the pearly white in my pocket shaking, clever.

I reached in my pocket and pulled the tooth out, and I flipped out of my, flying onto the key. There were two more slots left, so that must mean that were more teeth hiding. I turned to find Aquina giving me a disgusted look, but she had a sac that said 'potatoes'.

"They couldn't have put it in a plastic bag?" I sighed after asking no one in particular.

I half expected the back to be filled with little dolls of me, so I turned and started to look around, and Aquina helped, taking the kitchen, while I took the living room. I started with the couch and found the first one on the end table. My discovery was followed by Aquina calling for me to come and pick up the one she had just found. 

After collecting all the remaining teeth, the two of us went to the door. The key sucked up the remaining teeth and disappeared, causing the door to make a clicking noise. I tried the handle, and it opened with ease.

I made sure to check the stairs before going down, just because Latisha was a klutz, doesn't mean it wouldn't be dangerous. The two of us made our way down to the bottom of the stair and turned to find a girl with white hair and a portable machine gun on her lap. Cage my ass, this lying bitch, I should have just left her down here!

"I can see how salty you're getting, so I guess I'll help without you begging me," Latisha said with a noncommittal hand wave.

"What were you actually doing here?" 

"Waiting for you, and this little tasty morsel. Where did you find such a cutie? Does he make you scream?" Latisha probed.

She had dark skin and a brilliant smile, but I knew there was an evil mind lurking just behind it. I felt back for Aquina, well, no I felt bad for all the girls, but I think Grace might get her to sing a different tune if she annoyed her too much. Let's see if I have to break this up, plus I see the last part of the distillery! 

"W-W-What!?" Aquina stuttered.

"Oh, love, don't be shy, you can tell Mama Tisha all your secrets!"

"Alright, I got my pot, let's boogie, the round is almost up. Let's all head back to the top."

"Why?" Latisha asked, giving me a strange look.

"We have to survive three more waves upstairs! Come on!"

"Just go close the door, where did it say you need to be upstairs? Don't we just have to survive?"

That made me pause, there were 30 seconds left on the clock, but she wasn't wrong. Plus it was a single path that we could mow them down on the stairs. I ran up and closed the door, then came back down, cracking a knuckle and getting myself ready and the time went off and the next round started. Aquina joined me, but Latisha remained in her chair, but I ignored her.

Hopefully, when the aliens started to get too much she would come help, but I didn't put much faith in that. Both of us were ready for anything that came through that door and we stayed deathly quiet. Above us, we could hear footsteps of the creatures moving around, but after about ten minutes, Aquina and I relaxed, and flopped back into the wall.

Latisha finally got up and came over to sit on the ground in front of us. I guess she was tired of waiting for us to come to her because she started whispering at a very low level as soon as she got over to us. 

"If we stay quiet, they won't find us, and…"

The door burst open, scaring the shit out of all of us, and both Aquina and I started firing. Even Latisha was sending a hail of bullets from her massive gun. The round ended, and none ever made it to the stairs, giving us another ten-minute breather. Two more rounds to go, and staying down here seemed like a good idea.

Still, I ran up to the top of the stair and found tons of ammo, far more than I hold, so I called down to the girls, and they came up and collected the remaining ammo. I also picked up three of the same items, called 'Don't Stand On This'. They were a type of proximity landmine that looked like a doormat when I tossed around the house. 

After that, we headed back down and got all our guns to reload, but Tenten suddenly perked up.

"Ah, Dave! I don't think…

The round buzzer went off and Tenten cut off what he was going to say and just sighed instead. I wonder what the little tin can was about to say? I didn't have time to think about it more, as explosions rocked the house from my doormats, but soon the rush of footsteps started again.

The horde of aliens was trying to fit down the stairs, but it was a bottleneck. It didn't really matter what they sent, the firepower we had was more than enough to hold back the waves as aliens exploded into black particles. There were some massive black aliens, but they couldn't fit down the stairs and just took more bullets.

Soon, the aliens stopped coming, and the final round timer started, but Tenten immediately started to talk again.

"You need to get out of this house!" Tenten said with a lot of excitement.

"Why?"

I didn't have a chance to get an answer, my screen started to flash red, and my HUD was assaulted by strange symbols running across my vision. What the hell was going on? I was about to turn and ask the girls, but then the house was ripped off the basement. 

Above us, as the house pulled away, the massive monster of an alien that held it in its hand opened its mouth facing us. The light was gathering in its mouth at a scary speed, slowly going larger. This was not good.

"RUN!"

We burst up the stairs and barely made it out of the blast range. This was crazy, I looked back and the thing was probably the same size as the legless monster on Prime. This thing had legs and it was using them to chase after us. 

"What the hell is going on?!" Latisha asked in a panicked voice as we ran as fast as we could, but I wasn't the one that answered.

DAVE, YOU CAN JUST PLAY A GAME WITHOUT CHEATING IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM!

"Fuck you, stop being so salty you crotchety piece of software! Just because we thought of a good idea to use part of the game to make it easier for us DOESN'T MAKE IT CHEATING!" 

ALL YOU DO IS MAKE EXCUSES, BUT I FOUND YOU IN THIS GAME, AND NOW I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!

"Dave, what did you do to this guy?" Latisha asked.

"This stupid twat is the father of the person that convinced Irellia to betray us all in the Transporter world where I lost you!"

Latisha stopped and turned, leveling her gun at the four-armed monstrosity. There was an unbridled rage burning in her eyes as she screamed a blood-curdling battle cry, unloading hell, and rage into the aliens. MainFrame had no idea what it had just unleashed.