CH 1.5

When he got home, his older brother was sleeping with his mouth open. Sejin quickly hid the stench in the house by boiling ramen. He ate the food without leaving a drop of ramen broth along with Chaewoo. The two of them sat in the kitchen pounding their stomachs.

SInce a while earlier, Chaewoo had been opening his mouth hesitantly and then closing it again. Sejin wrinkled his eyebrows.

“What? Do you have anything to say?”

Chaewoo opened his mouth.

“Sejin, since when did you start singing?”

“How would I remember exactly when? I did it because it was time to do it.”

“I was honestly surprised when I heard you sing at church before. It’s the best I’ve ever heard…”

“Oh, what…”

Sejin hid his embarrassment by touching the sink with his toes. Chaewoo gnawed at his nails as if he was nervous about something.

“Before, you sang to the choir teacher at your church. Perhaps… Doesn’t that teacher start coming more often? Or perhaps she starts saying she’s ill somewhere…”

“She said that her headaches and insomnia are gone, but she’s just saying that she feels better. What does that have to do with my singing?”

“Is there anyone else who keeps coming to you other than that teacher?”

“Well. Sometimes the pastor also calls for me, and the auntie…”

Come to think of it, he never sang to his older brother. It was because he had a big heart to know if he had to do it. Mom and Dad were busy arguing with each other, so there was no time to listen to their children. Then he heard a sentence that interrupted his thoughts.

“Can you not sing a solo on Christmas?”

It was more of a command than a request. Sejin’s voice became cold.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. When I heard you sing before, I felt like you shouldn’t.”

“Are you crazy? Do you know how hard I am practising for that day, why would I not do it because you said so?”

“Just don’t do it. You can’t sing in front of people.”

Chaewoo made a fuss. Sejin thought he was a rather mature guy for his age, but seeing him like this, he was curious as to why.

“Fine. Then tell me why. So I can tell whether I should listen to you or not?”

Of course, he needed to know why.

“Don’t do it. Just don’t do it!”

“So why?!”

“I don’t know either! Just don’t do it!”

“Are you really going to act up?! You’re being unreasonable!”

Sejin grabbed Chaewoo by the collar. He obviously wanted to take his place if he dropped out of the solo. Other than that, there was no other way to explain Chaewoo’s demand. He may have stolen Hyungwook from Sejin but to stop singing was not possible. As they stared at each other vigorously, Sejin pulled his hand away first, and Chaewoo turned his gaze away. He leaned against the moldy wall, staring only at the innocent cupboard.

It was singing that had always stuck to Sejin. Singing was a breakthrough, an oxygen tank to him, but to give up on it… He felt like his life was being taken without end. It was with great regret that he was driven by an impulse and brought Chaewoo into his house. He glanced at Chaewoo who was trying to rob his choir practice seat.

It was a competitive spirit disguised as curiosity.

“Then let me listen to you sing once.”

Chaewoo’s forehead wrinkled like tinfoil.

“My older brother said I couldn’t.”

Seeing him keep evading, his motivation burned. Sejin sat down with Chaewoo.

“You don’t have to tell him. Anyway, it’s nothing new since you’ve already sang to other people besides me.”

“…”

“Right! You told me not to sing solo, right? I’ll decide after seeing you sing.”

Now, curiosity has turned to desperation. What kind of voice was it that drove mothers crazy and adults paid money for? A dark voice whispered to Sejin that he must find out the secret.

“Hm? Only once. I won’t tell anyone I heard it. I’ll think about dropping out of the solo…”

“… Really?”

Chaewoo’s eyes fluttered. Sejin didn’t even blink for fear that he might fly away. After a few hours passed, he said, biting his lip.

“Then… only once. In return, you have to keep your promise.”

“Fine.”

Sejin was really suspicious why the other person was trying to prevent him from singing the solo when he himself was afraid to sing. Maybe he wasn’t trying to take his place, he thought. But the real problem was that even Chaewoo didn’t seem to know exactly why.

Ah, it doesn’t matter, Sejin adjusted his posture to sit down and focused on Chaewoo. After hesitating for a while, Chaewoo opened his mouth and started singing. At that moment, Sejin became mesmerised by the sound that melted into his ears. The song spread faster than the light.

Ah~ Ah~ Ave~ Maria~~ Ah~~~ Ah~~~

The refreshing tone spread and resounded throughout the surrounding scenery. It had no smell and no shape, but it hit the wall, creating another resonance. Before the reverberation disappeared, the voice resounded again, and the lyrics that followed were pounding on top of it again, and the melody did not stop as if two people were singing. The light was reflected on Chaewoo’s lips and nose bridge. The invisible voice particles permeated his skin and heart and surrounded his whole body. In the flawless voice, there was a violin, a harp, a clarinet… All instruments in the world were included. Sejin’s mind became more and more fuzzied.

Ave~ Maria~~ Ah~~~

If it was the highest note, he would hit it again, and if he wanted to reach the limit, he would hit it higher and fall into ecstasy. The flawless tone that walked on the breath was so cozy that it could make one cry. Sejin clenched his fists because he felt like he was going to be sucked into somewhere if he stayed like this. The moment he inadvertently avoided his gaze, he almost screamed. The cut from the fall earlier had vanished. Gradually, his eyes clouded over and he gasped for breath.

The angel-like voice sounded out and gently filled even the dark places. It touched the cracks in the moldy walls, the dry branches, and even the frozen ground, creating a picture that could not be seen in this season. He painted heaven with tens of thousands of colours. Like a voice made to sing only for God. It was the first trance Sejin felt, and it was fearful.

“… S-stop! Stop!!”

Sejin screamed in a seizure. The song stopped. Heaven disappeared too.

“Stop it…”

Sejin didn’t want to hear this voice so much that he wanted to tear off his eardrums. He wanted to run away. However, the reverberation of the song stuck to his body and did not let go. It was then that he realised that the song Chaewoo sang was Ave Maria. Tears dripped down his knees like blood. Sejin bit his salty lips.

“This… how did you know the song? Few kids my age would know…”

Chaewoo’s hardened face relaxed.

“Because I’ve heard you sing it before.”

Thump, his heart dropped to the abyss.

“… That’s when you heard… Do you remember all of it?”

“Yes.”

Chaewoo nodded his head. At that moment, an unknown fear took over. Sejin slowly raised his head and looked at the person in front of him.

“Y-you… what are you?”

It was a question that he couldn’t understand the meaning of even though he uttered it himself. Chaewoo’s black eyes darkened. His face, which had resembled that of a 14-year-old a little while ago, returned to maturity.

Then Sejin was startled by the rustling sound. When he came to his senses, his brother was standing in the room with his upper body upright. Something twinkled in his brother’s eyes. The moisture that wet the cheeks must have been a sign of overflowing excitement. The older brother, who had never made eye contact with anyone or reacted to anything other than his younger brother, couldn’t take his eyes off Chaewoo. He mumbled in a muffled voice.

“No, please sing… Please do it again…”

Chaewoo was right.

He shouldn’t sing in front of other people.