CH 8.1

Yaba hadn’t been able to sleep since yesterday, so he was absent-minded. He even forgot to add poison to Cocaine’s water. He went to the hairdresser in the morning. Yaba made sure his front hair hung over the eyebrows. Even if it was a little longer or shorter, it would bother him. He was taken care of by the hairdresser once a week since scissors and knives were not allowed in the dorms.

Yaba went straight to the bathroom and washed his body. Although Cha Yiseok said he would come to pick him up today, he did not set the exact time. Giha didn’t say anything either, other than to wait. Did he perhaps get the appointment date wrong? Or did Chairman Cha decide to do the exorcism instead of using a healer?

If he contacted him, Yaba would wait or give up, but he was so nervous that he couldn’t even eat a grain of rice. His thoughts alternated between positive and negative. In the end, the antidepressant dose he took exceeded the proper amount, and he was limp on the floor like an upright ambulatory animal. The hand of the clock melted like a twig, and a miracle occurred as 3 o’clock became 8 o’clock and 9 o’clock became 5 o’clock. After experiencing the miracle, he was able to control his limbs around noon.

It was evening. Now, convinced that Cha Yiseok wasn’t coming, he laid flat on his back. A bug crawled up on the back of his droopy hand and stared at Yaba. It wriggled his oval body as if to say something. The bugs sometimes talked to each other, but they mainly liked some alone time. The worm said,

What are you so worried about? You’ve come to the conclusion. He won’t contact you. Did you honestly believe that he would kiss you? You are abandoned.

Bzz. Bzz. Bzz, bzz, bzz, bzz, bzzzzzzz…

“Shut up! Shut up!”

Yaba jumped up and slapped the back of his hand. The worm giggled and ran into the pores. He muttered as he scratched the back of his red swollen hand.

“Fucking bugs, they really can’t stay still…”

Perhaps Cha Yiseok had been offended by the condition that he had to kiss him? Maybe. No, definitely. ‘Kiss me’, was he crazy? He shouldn’t have been begging like that. Even if Giha locked Yaba in the warehouse and refused to give him a drop of water, he should have refused. Then, at least Yaba would have been able to keep his pride. No matter how many times he drove them out, Yaba was exhausted because Cha Yiseok’s face appeared again and again in his mind. Going to work or whatever, everything was annoying. Annoying. Annoying.

Cocaine’s bedside was piled up with presents from the guests last night. Yaba put his hand under his pillow and pulled out his scissors. In the morning, he had stolen it from a woman at the hairdresser while she had been looking elsewhere. After several attempts, he finally succeeded.

On the scissors, an ugly face was reflected. He wanted to cut off all the drooping flesh. Deciding how and when to use this tool, he tucked his scissors under the pillow. Just then, Cocaine came out of the bathroom, wiping his wet hair with a towel.

“Aren’t you ready to go to work?”

Yaba stared at Cocaine with his mouth shut. Did Cocaine know Cha Yiseok’s phone number? He had shown him his face on his phone before, so of course he knew. Had they been texting every day since? Have they been hearing each other’s voices? He bit his lip until it almost bled. Cocaine felt the gaze and asked, putting down the towel.

“Why are you like this all day? What happened yesterday?”

“You would know better.”

“What are you talking about now?”

Cocaine had a face that suggested he did not know at all. At least it seemed that way now. They should have been together yesterday, but he didn’t seem to have heard. It may be natural that Cha Yiseok doesn’t want Cocaine to step into a dirty conspiracy.

Cocaine was a fish that lived in clean waters while he was a bacterium that lived in rotting water. After this pretense was over, a mass of bacteria that must be eradicated without a trace. Yaba closed his eyes and rested his head on his pillow. Clack, clack, clack, the scissors whispered under the pillow. It was a temptation disguised as comfort.

Cocaine sat to one side and warmed up his vocal cords. Ah~ Ah~ Cocaine’s shook Yaba’s head and weighed down on his body. Even in this cold wave, it was a sound that awakened spring. A huge wave resembling light invaded Yaba’s realm. Yaba closed his eyes, plugged his ears, closed his pores, and blocked every entrance to the sound. It wouldn’t have been this terrible for him if it weren’t for that person who used the same toothpaste and the same toilet, an existence he couldn’t overcome. Cocaine’s voice rose without limit.

“Shut up. Practice elsewhere.”

But the wriggling voice is immersed among the world Cocaine created. Yaba clenched his teeth.

“Shut up—!”

The ugly shout disrupted the beautiful waves. The reverberation of the sound that filled the room disappeared. In the strange stillness, Yaba turned his head. Cocaine stiffened with his eyes wide open. He found his composure right away and chewed and spat out each letter.

“Don’t shout so loudly. It’s noisy.”

Yaba said, wrinkling his eyes.

“You are the one who is so noisy. No matter how nice a sound is, it can be noise to some.”

“Then tell me what I’m supposed to do with you, who sleeps all day.”

“If you don’t like it, leave.”

“You’re not alone in the room. If you don’t want to hear it, you go out.”

Yaba s eyes narrowed.

“Get out. Move to another room.”

“I will be here. The person who doesn’t like it can get out.”

Their eyes met. It was Cocaine who suggested they share a room in the first place. Yaba decided to do that at that moment, but he didn’t know it would be such torture everyday. This was the largest room and it had a bathroom, so there was no reason for Yaba, who showered frequently, to move out. It was the same with Cocaine. Wouldn’t it absurd for such a holy god to be in a room without a bathroom?

“The car is here. Come down quickly.”

Hashish’s voice from across the door swept the cold air. Cocaine let out a small breath.

“Aren’t you going to the store? You didn’t work yesterday too.”

He was good at dealing with emotions like that. Instead of voicing out his raw emotions in the moment like Yaba did, he covered it with a soft barrier and dealt with it with a noble personality. Even that was a virtue that he could not overcome. Yaba removed his sharp gaze, laid his face on his pillow and pulled the corner of his mouth. He didn’t want to be caught looking agitated.

“If you carry my bag.”

Cocaine grinned. Everytime they had a conflict and Yaba was aggressive like that, Cocaine would react like that, and it would end in that way. As time passed, this situation apparently became a moving tale in which Cocaine, a generous person, gave grace to a half-wit outcast.