Someone hit him on the shoulder and walked by. He was swept away by that force and moved his legs. He didn’t know how long he walked or how much time passed. A while after he got out of the dorm, he saw a red light district lit with blood. The energy of the drug circulated through the blood vessels and dominated the body and mind. On the busy boulevard, cars lined up like a long hearse.
The quiet city was overflowing with life covered in human skin. They were walking but had no legs, had no hearts, their heads had no thoughts, and there were no people in the city. He felt a dull pain as if something had been lodged in the sole of his foot. Yet he just walked along the stream of consciousness. Walking like this, he might meet the next season at that rate. Whish… whish… The cold air rushing in at once pierced through the thin clothes, freezing his heart and lungs.
“Get away for a second, I’ll entertain you later. My head is pounding right now, I might break someone’s arm.”
“What?!”
Somewhere a man and women were arguing. Yaba sat down on the concrete where the lights scattered across. An ice-cold floor dug into his numb skin. The neon sign was spinning, and the towering building collapsed toward Yaba. He let out a full breath onto his chin. Then, someone shook his shoulder. When he looked up, he saw a neatly dressed man with a briefcase. The man said, raising his glasses.
“Eh, are you okay? On a cold day like today, walking around dressed like this, what if something bad happens…”
Yaba glanced at the man’s greasy eyes. Seeing him reach out to the pig who escaped from the cage, he must have a pretty boring life.
Are you an outcast who’s being treated like a psychopath too? Are you living with ugly jealousy as your daily food? Do you hide the poison in your desk drawer? Do you think that the day the colleague who consumes that collapses and vomits blood, that person might look at me?
He remembered now. It was after meeting Cha Yiseok that he started adding poison to Cocaine water.
“… Vo…”
“What?”
The man leaned his ear and asked again. The tongue did not function as if it had melted away. Yaba took a deep breath before letting a faint voice flow into the man’s ear.
“I think I’m going to vomit…”
Contrary to the expectation that he would run away with his tail between his legs right away, the man looked at him with greasy eyes and held Yaba’s shoulder.
“You aren’t saying that because you’re looking at my face, are you? Whatever. Haa… I can’t stand it. Well, your body is frozen. If there is no place to sleep, I…”
“Put your hands away.”
It was a more resolute and gloomy voice than the atmosphere. Yaba fumbled at the place where the sound was coming from with a heavy gaze. In front of the dazzling bar, a man with his back to the lights was looking this way. Like the intersection of consciousness and unconsciousness, like the boundary between life and death, like the boundary of time between one season to the next, the place where Yaba himself and that man were was the same yet different space. He was the perfect fit for this decadent city. The one who made Yaba wait for tomorrow to come,
Cha Yiseok…
“I said put your hands away.”
Cha Yiseok approached with an unstable gait. The silhouette of the woman who was with him also staggered lewdly. The man with glasses frowned harshly.
“Who are you to meddle? Mind your business and go away.”
“In such a case, finders keepers. I saw him first.”
Cha Yiseok took a sharp glance at the man with glasses and oppressed him. The man with glasses was overwhelmed under the pressure, and stepped backwards and then disappeared with a “tsk”.
Cha Yiseok’s gaze slowly moved up from Yaba’s feet and stopped at his eyes. For a moment, the sharp dark eyes gleamed wildly. Yaba did not avoid the gaze that pierced like a javelin. Cha Yiseok raised his hand without notice. His large palms covered the corners of Yaba’s eyes and nose. It was a bizarre act that he always did only when Yaba took off his mask. What kind of eyes did he have beyond this palm? After a while, Cha Yiseok slowly lowered his hand as if he had confirmed something. His expressionless face filled his vision. Cha Yiseok said to the woman beside him.
“You can go away now.”
“What? Are you talking to me now?”
“Don’t ask if you know.”
He replied with a fishy laugh. The woman bit his lip and looked at him.
“Wow! Are you playing with me now? Is it because of him?”
“Go. You should go right now.”
“Why? Why do I have to go?!”
Cha Yiseok spoke slowly in a voice without a smile.
“This guy is barefoot.”
The woman licked her lips, and got into the car parked on the road. The red car blew out smoke and disappeared. Then a silver-gray car stopped. When Yaba looked away from the road and turned his head, Cha Yiseok was obstinately watching Yaba. Immersed in darkness, he looked at Yaba as if he were seeing him for the first time, yet not so at the same time. He reached out his hand. Long fingers gently stroked Yaba’s lower chin. He lowered his eyes and scanned the underside of Yaba’s pupils.
“You are lost. It’s dangerous to be here like that.”
Yaba opened and closed his eyes very slowly. His pulse gradually accelerated, but the soft rhyme and the touch of his chin made his head dull. The hand that was tickling his chin was removed. Cha Yiseok unfastened the waist belt of his black half-coat, unbuttoned it and pulled it off his arms. His hands, which stumbled several times while undoing the belt and buttons, clearly showed that he was stained with alcohol and drugs.
Suddenly, a coat wrapped around Yaba, and the body heat from his clothes moved to his back and his shoulders. The smell of cigarettes, resembling the deep and dark sea, permeated. He wrapped him in his coat, leaving only Yaba’s nose exposed, and picked him up. As he walked, he rubbed Yaba’s jawline, barely visible through the gap in his clothes, with his tongue, and sucked on his earlobe. A low voice rang out from the end of the sticky afterglow.
“Let’s go to my house. Butterfly.”
Being held in his arms, Yaba was sucked into the silver-gray car.
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t/n: so there’s now an advanced chapter system so I will probably be using that after this chapter. so that would be a good way to support me even in small amounts! maybe even preferable to kofi because paypal takes away at least 50cents of your donation (based on the amount you tipped) each time (fml…)
if not, that’s fine too, as the chapters will be free eventually. btw, you can also support in other ways like adding this novel to your reading list on NU, giving a rating or writing a review, or commenting here! (っ^▿^)