CH 18.3

Cocaine gave up his lost cell phone and went on a business trip. Yaba stared at Cocaine going out the front door. Was he going to Cha Yiseok’s home today? Will he meet him there? Will they share a meal when he’s done? If Cocaine dies one day, it would be good if he died singing. The moment when Cocaine shines the most, he sings a song of blood in front of those who worship him. When his vocal cords were damaged by poison and he could no longer sing miracles, he would step through the bars of his heart and take care of the miserable Cocaine. Like a guardian, like a friend, until the day he ends his life. Will Cha Yiseok come to Cocaine’s funeral? Would he be excited by Cocaine’s corpse?

The remaining eunuchs went out to buy food for a week, and the rest sat around the living room and played Go-stop. After taking a shower, Yaba sat down at his desk. When the drawer was opened, there was a brown case placed on the side. He finally picked up what he threw in the trash can yesterday. He opened the case and took out two pills and ate it. The antidepressant that Cha Yiseok gave him was on the verge of running out. The worms clamored for more drugs. The one that Kang Giha gave him yesterday was left in a corner.

Yaba licked his lips. It seemed like someone was constantly biting the flesh. He felt so anxious the whole time that he wanted to stab everyone if anyone touched him. He dropped his sweat-soaked head on the desk, and the roaring city noise was heard.

Then, the phone on the desk vibrated. The moment he checked the number, his heart, which had stopped for a long time, started to bleed. It was Cha Yiseok. Yaba pressed the call button and brought it to his ear. Today was the day he went to Cha Myunghwan.

“What?”

— So it’s true.

The first thing that came over was the sound of the wind falling. Soon, a voice like the ripple of the water was heard.

— I’m in front of the dorm. Come down.

“… !”

Yaba jumped to his feet. He went to the bedside and looked out the window. In a narrow alley, a silver car could be seen under a power pole, and Cha Yiseok leaned against the car and held a phone in one hand. Yaba rolled his eyes around. When he turned his gaze back to where he was, Cha Yiseok was already staring at him. He had eyes that weighed on his vision even from a distance. Yaba hid behind the window. His hands that tore at his lips were distracting as fast as his heart was beating.

“I’m not feeling well. I’m going to sleep.”

— Why are you changing your mind? Whether you go to the villa or not, come out first.

“No.”

Yaba hung up the phone. After a while, a vibrating sound was heard. He shoved the phone under the pillow as if trying to suffocate it. The persistent crying ceased. Yaba leaned over his pillow. 1 minute, 5 minutes, 10 minutes… He didn’t know much time passed. He ripped off the edge of the pillow and looked out the window with his knees bent. The car was still there, but the owner of the car was nowhere to be seen.

That was then. A doorbell was heard. After a while, the living room was noisy, and the sound of aggressive footsteps approached quickly. The door opened, and Cha Yiseok walked like a snowstorm. As the door closed, the stunned eunuchs were blocked. His heart beat and rose with the pace of his outstretched steps. He brazenly approached as if he was welcomed.

“… Get out.”

Cha Yiseok ignored Yaba’s opposition and sat down on the bed.

“Where exactly are you feeling unwell? Get up, let’s go to the hospital.”

“I don’t want to. You are the one who needs to go to the hospital.”

Yaba said coldly and put his back against the head of his bed. He glanced around the narrow room. The tiredly familiar space felt like another world. Yaba got up, being pushed into the unbearable air. The man grabbed his arm and set him back down.

“You can’t not.”

Cha Yiseok muttered with an ominous nuance. And he rolled the whole of Yaba into the futon.

“Let go! I said I’m not going!”

Yaba’s limbs and voice were detained in the blanket like a straitjacket. The bed creaked from the toss and downs of a fight. Yaba pushed him hard with his barely free arm. Cha Yiseok blocked his escape route with his head and arms stretched out over the bed. Yaba’s breath scattered across his broad shoulders and chest. He returned the harsh breath to Yaba’s forehead. Cha Yiseok turned his head to the side and pierced his rude gaze.

“Seeing you rebel like this you must be feigning illness.”

He murmured and ran his fingers through the tip of Yaba’s hair. The finger that moved away then touched Yaba’s lips. Yaba turned his head to shake off the heat.

“I said it clearly. If I want to go, I will go, if I don’t want to go, I will not.”

“Same thing. I said I have the right to you.”

Cha Yiseok said surprisingly languidly.

“After being obedient for a while, why are you getting upset again?”

Yaba looked straight at him.

“If you want a child that is that docile, you should have taken Cocaine from the beginning. Anyway, Cha Myunghwan said that even if Cocaine goes, it can’t be fixed. So just take the obedient Cocaine!”

The words thrown by themselves became daggers and flew away. They would stab the neck and cut the skin, and one day all the blood would run out.

Cha Yiseok responded brutally.

“Even if we change it now, the voices of you two are completely different, so I can’t do anything. So I need you until this is over.”

Yes, Yaba was blinded by that smile back then. He was deceived by the words that said he was absolutely necessary. He was drunk on the time he spent with him and forgot. It all started with Cha Yiseok trying to protect Cocaine. It was to cut off the string that would save Cha Myunghwan from death. It’s fine. After a month, the daydreams would be over, and all he had to do was shake off the noisy dream. Yaba stared at his tight necktie.

“You’ve lived your whole life wielding what you want, but don’t do what you want to me. I told you before. I don’t talk to anyone. I don’t know what I’m going to say to Cha Myunghwan if I get upset. I’m not afraid of anything. I…”

I’m walking through hell every day.

Cha Yiseok’s lips twitched softly. It was a clear laugh.

“You can’t even take candy from a child’s hand with such a clumsy threat. Tell me straight. What do you want?”

Don’t send Cocaine to your family home. Don’t listen to Cocaine’s voice. Don’t look at him. I’m not a tool you only use when it’s convenient for you. I’m not a bridge you step on. Am I a corpse to you? Is that why you did that to me? Miserable anger, crude jealousy, and blind emotions intermingled. His mouth moved arbitrarily. Yaba looked up at him.

“After this is over, you and Kang Giha will get much more, but I have nothing left. So I should get some money.”

“You’re not coy. Alright. Tell me how much you want.”

The cold eyes covered Yaba’s nape. The scenes he wanted to cut out, his eyes became blurred.

“You have that much money? Will you give me whatever I ask?”

“I’ll give you plenty of time, so think of a reasonable price. Instead, it’s over for you doing what you please from now.”

“Now I’m going to ask the thug to take me to the villa.”

“No.”

“Then tell Cha Myunghwan to come pick me up. I don’t want to go with you.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason not to want to?”

His lips slowly stiffened. Yaba shoved his nails into his palms to dispel the heat from his eyes. He wished the blood of his body was swept away here. Yaba raised his eyes clouded with spite.

“You and Giha are equally underhanded swindlers. I’d rather the stinky Cha Myunghwan. Anything you swallow will rot in your stomach! You’re the ones in the gutter!”

Cha Yiseok’s eyes turned sharp. He wanted to distort those eyes that say it has nothing to do with other people’s wounds. The voice that reached his chin was muffled.

“Tell Cha Myunghwan to come pick me up. I don’t want to go with you! I don’t want to go with you… !”

Bam! He slammed the head of the bed on which Yaba was leaning. Dust scattered in the dull wave. His piercing gaze grazed the spine chillingly.

“What did you just say?”

It was a warning sound that scraped down to the bottom. Overwhelmed by him, his head was already empty.

“Compared to someone like you, Cha Myunghwan is much more… Mmh!”

As if a fuse had been pulled, the other person pressed Yaba’s chin and bit his lips. He squeezed Yaba with his upper body, sucking his lips and tongue, and chewing. His body was crushed like it was about to burst. His eyes engulfed in the fire rushed and ate his body temperature. Cha Yiseok bit Yaba’s finger pushing his face until it left a tooth mark. His firm thighs dug into Yaba’s crotch and casually ravaged his teeth. His shoulders shuddered as the lips slid off his chin and sucked at the nape of his neck. A sticky breath, like old liquor, spread through his earlobes and the nape of his neck.

His hands aggressively penetrated into Yaba’s pants, grabbing his hips apart, and entering a deeper crevice. His throat groaned at his fainting stimulation. No! Ah… Mmph! The desperate scream melted away in the damp space. He slapped his sturdy shoulders and pulled his hair.

His tie was ripped off, and his shirt was pushed up. The collarbone that was exposed below him trembled wildly. His tongue stretched out in a straight line, crushing and stirring Yaba. Yaba bit his tongue. Cha Yiseok’s eyes were distorted for a moment, but that was all. He dug up Yaba’s lips and his insides, and stirred them up as if they were dissecting them one by one.

“Eugh… ha…”

A shallow chant squeezed his breath and flowed out. Hot breaths poured out of his lips. The sticky sweat and the smell of cologne made me dizzy. The vicious tongue teasing gradually rolled up the water level and choked. The hand that had grabbed Yaba’s ass tightened and pulled him closer. The lower body in contact changed from an urgent movement to a soft rhyme. With a muffled groan, his thickly wet tongue moved in and out of the gap between his lips.

His lips, which had been tenaciously acting for a long time, fell, and his hands nailed to the hip bone turned into dull movements. The colorful sound of exhalation was scattered in this cold space. His sword-like eyes pierced deeper than his tongue. Uneven emotions permeated the black space.

“If you say nonsense one more time… I’ll scold you.”

Yaba gasped shallowly and glared. Cha Yiseok let out a disheveled breath and licked the saliva from his mouth with his tongue. His gaze slid onto Yaba’s lips, then softened. A snake-like finger gripped the gentle poison and rubbed Yaba’s lips.

“You changed medicine and became more sensitive. I’m canceling going to the villa today.”

“I threw all the medicine you gave me in the trash.”

He’d rather this crude jealousy be due to the drugs. It seems like it will become powder on his chest that is being crushed. After the wave of emotions passed, his stamina was exhausted. His mind and body were poisoned.

‘There are only two cases where they do you a favor. When the other party has value to be used and when they judge otherwise… If they ask for a handshake, then you have to run away without looking back.’

‘Keep in mind. Cha Yiseok will do you a favor until the day Cha Myunghwan dies. That’s when the validity period ends.’

Cha Myunghwan at least wanted his own song blindly. Cold sweat soaked his back and he felt like he was going to collapse with vertigo, but there was a reason he had to go. He longed for the validity date to pass. At that time, there was going to be an end to everything. Yaba murmured thinly.

“I’m going to go. Take me to Cha Myunghwan…”

Cha Yiseok’s eyes blazed with a cold flame without warming up. Yaba got out of him and got up. He wore a black knitted shirt that stretched to his chest. Ignoring the entangled gaze, he took the lead and went out with his mask. His legs trembled. As they exited the living room, the eunuchs’ bewildered eyes rushed to them.

Cha Yiseok roughly closed the car door and crossed over to the other side. The car body tilted as he sat in the driver’s seat with the cold wind on his coat. He tucked his fingers into his tie and loosened it. The engine started and the car drove through the alley. After a long silence, he spoke.

“How did you get my number?”

“I stole it from Cocaine’s phone. After stealing, I threw his phone in the toilet.”

He stared at him with unreadable eyes, only moving his dark eyes.

“Are you offended that I got your number? Don’t worry. I will delete it right away.”

“Don’t act sassy. This time it won’t end with biting your lips.”

His gestures were graceful and his tongue was savage. Cha Yiseok turned his eyes forward to Yaba. A light gleamed on the bridge of his nose, which stood out with his arrogant engraving. He added like a trail of light.

“Don’t erase the number.”

t/n: “I’m not a tool you only use when it’s convenient for you” yass so true. I really like yaba’s thoughts in this chapter! ><