67 Mixed feelings

" you did what? " Jan was dumbfounded by what Althea told her " you need to control your temper you can't just hit people whenever they provoke you " Althea didn't seem to listen to anything that Jan was saying

it wasn't something new her friend was known for her bad temper since they were kids but it got worse after what happened three years ago it took her long time to get back on her feet once again Jan knew that Althea was a broken person from the inside but she never shows it she doesn't like anyone to feel sympathy for her that feeling Althea once described that it made her feel disgusted

" Althea " Jan called her friend that seems to ignore her Althea didn't speak just turned her head looking at her friend " what's wrong with you today, " Jan asked

" nothing " Althea replied as she looking up at the sky through her window she was mentally exhausted today and her friend nagging wasn't helping her either turning around to face her friend she spoke " I'm fine Jan. now you need to go I have work to do I will see next week at my house alright now off you go " Althea was about to open the door when Jan spoke

" your birthday is coming soon are you not going to celebrate it this year too"

her birthday she forgot about that she is going to be twenty-one this year how time passed very quickly " I don't no " Althea replied she truly didn't know she hadn't celebrated it for more than three years

" but Althea " Jan tried to argue with her

" I said I don't know Jan and stop asking me that every year when you know what it means to me " the two of them became silent for some time before Jan spoke

" I'm sorry Althea I didn't mean anything please forgive me " Althea nodded her head she knew that her that Jan didn't have any bad intention. after Jan left Althea went to the back of the garden and sit there the shadow that was created by the trees it soothed her troubled mind

today marks what happened four years ago yes it's been four years no matter how hard she tried to forget and life normally this will come to remind her that she has been defiled by that man she still remember everything clearly like it just happened how he tied her hands to stop her from moving and how he covered her mouth to not scream everything was still clear in her head

she looked up at the sky wondering when she will forget does she need more time to heal but how much time she will need more the tears that was trying to hold them for sometime now have fell from her eyes unwillingly she hated the feeling of vulnerability time passed and Althea stayed there unmoving time passed until she felt a hand wiping her tears the sudden touch made her flinch but when she looked up her teary eyes she was met with a pair of gentle eyes looking at her

lowering his head he pleased a kiss on her forehead " what caused these tears " the Lord asked placing his forehead on hers

with the gentles of his voice, something inside her broke her tears fall more as she sobbed like a child in his arms the Lord held her in her arms as she cried burying her face in his chest

the Lord could guess roughly what is happening with her though he wanted to ask her but with her current state it's best to give her time he sit there with her crying in his arms after sometime Althea lifted her head from the Lord embrace her eyes and face were very red from crying

" do you feel better now? " the Lord asked wiping her tears with his handkerchief

she nodded her head before she started to speak but the Lord stopped her by placing his finger on her lips " you don't need to explain anything " the Lord paused pulling her back in his arms

the Lord continued " you are not obligate to do or say anything unwillingly around me Althea "

she didn't know if it's his warmth or the gentleness in his voice that made her feel safe, protected, love and wantedthose mixed feelings made her confused

" why me? " the Lord heard her say