Chapter 63 - 51

Trigger Warning!! Self-harm. 

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Rayven watched Angelica stunned. This woman must have lost her mind or perhaps there was something about her that he didn't know, that she was hiding. He couldn't read her mind after all. If her brother was a prophet then what was she? 

Who was she? 

He should be more careful around her. Now he was assuming she was human but perhaps she wasn't. There was something about the whole Davis family. The father couldn't be compelled which could have been more than the chock only. If he had been interested earlier he would have tried to compel him again, just to see if it worked otherwise. The brother was a prophet and this woman… was no normal woman. That he was sure of. 

He went to sit in his favorite place but there was no fire to watch this time. He didn't need to. He was already watching images of torture inside his head. Lord Green and Simu. So those were the ones to punish. There was also another man, the one who slapped her. Rayven's claws had made holes in his pocket when he saw the image. 

For the first time, he was glad about something Lucrezia did. Death was too little of a punishment for these men. He needed them alive so he could punish them over and over again. 

Rayven was so caught up in his thoughts and thinking about different punishments that he didn't even notice Angelica sat down in front of him. From the look on her face, it seemed like she spoke to him but he didn't hear her. He should stop getting so lost in thoughts. 

"Is something wrong?" she asked. 

Everything was wrong. He saved a human being. No, he saved some unknown creature whose intentions he didn't even know. He was even going as far as wanting to punish those who hurt her. He must be bored now that he was forced to live. 

Rayven looked at the delicate face that belonged to this brave woman. After what those men did… he clenched his hands into fists… she could still keep smiling and being kind. She was so different from him. 

"You must have been frightened." He said. 

She blinked a few times. "Uh… I was scared. I am glad you came."

Who would have thought someone would be less scared when he arrived? 

What would she think when she found out what he truly was? What would she do when she found out that he was something more frightening than a monster, that her father had been right the whole time?

"How would you punish those men, if you could punish them?" 

Her blue eyes narrowed questioningly and then she shrugged. "I would cut their filthy hands and then…" She stopped. "I would focus on better things than revenge, My Lord." 

Better things? What could be better than seeing those who hurt you, bleed to death? 

He could certainly see why Lucrezia enjoyed punishments. 

Rayven stood up from his seat and saw the panic in Angelica's eyes. She stood up quickly after him and watched him with wide eyes. Did he change? He could not feel his fangs or claws. 

"Are you leaving?" She asked. 

"I am going to my room." He said and walked away. 

"Would you like to eat lunch?" She called after him. 

"No!" 

He went back to his room and locked the door. He needed some time to come up with a good punishment. But who was he to punish these men? They hurt her, but so did he. 

He reached for his favorite dagger on his bedstand. This dagger was very old. He had lept it for centuries and it got used to his level of pain. Now it wasn't as sharp as it used to be which was perfect since that caused more pain. He needed to use more force to cut through his skin. 

'I would cut their filthy hands…'

Rayven placed the edge of the dagger against his palm and cut through his flesh, feeling the metal slash his skin and watching the blood seep from the wound. He continued cutting but this wasn't even a punishment. This wasn't enough. This wouldn't satisfy him or calm the demon in him. 

He placed the tip of the dagger under his nail before pushing it in between his nail and his flesh. He began to peel off his nails. There was a pool of blood beside his feet where he sat but he continued until he had only a few nails left.

Well, this was painful. Perhaps this would be better as a punishment. He knew it would be even more painful for humans. But even this wouldn't suffice. He would have to look for the old Rayven, the tyrant, Demos. The one who knew nothing but cruelty.    

As he removed the last nail from his finger he heard footsteps nearing and Angelica's scent reached his nostrils. He held his breath and wondered what she wanted. 

"My Lord?" She called. 

He looked down at his butchered hands and ignored her calls. 

"My Lord? Where are you?" 

He sighed and shut his eyes to calm down when he suddenly heard a shrill of pain followed by a loud thud. Before he knew it, he was outside the door and found Angelica on her hands and knees in the hall. She sighed as if tired and then groaned as she tried to stand up. 

As she brushed off her dress she took notice of him. "Uh… I just fell." She said with flushed cheeks. 

Then her gaze traveled down to his hands and her eyes widened. "Oh Lord. What did you do?" 

Rayven turned around and hurried back into his room before locking the door. He leaned against it and cursed quietly. Then he listened. 

At first, Angelica didn't move then he heard her walk closer to the door. He knew she was standing so close that there was only the door between them. He could hear her heartbeat and her breathing. 

She was quiet for a while and he wondered what she was thinking. "My Lord?" She called softly and Rayven closed his eyes resisting her call. "Let me help you." 

Help him? With what? 

He remained silent and she remained standing outside the door. 

"I…I made lunch." She said at last. 

Rayven just waited for her to leave but she remained standing there for a while before giving up. He finally breathed when she was gone and placed his bloody hand on his chest. This woman wasn't good for his heart. He was going down the wrong path but it was too late. Dragging himself back to bed he fell back on the mattress. He couldn't even die of age since he didn't age as a demon. He was stuck living this life. 

Since he was doomed to live, he thought of Lucrezia's offer. The only other way to die was to make his heart bleed and get it back. 

Him, with a bleeding heart while his face was scarred. What was the point? At least now he didn't care. He had adapted well to humiliation as his punishment. With a heart, it would be different. 

If that was the case, he ought to first restore his face. Angelica was here and wanted to marry him. He wouldn't have to force her. Even if her reasons for marrying him were other than love, it was her choice.    

He stopped his train of thoughts and sat up. Was he actually considering this?    

****** 

Lucrezia watched Rayven and his misery, which according to her was a blessing he didn't even realize, through her magic mirror. The mirror in which she could keep watch on the demon Lords that she was responsible for. 

She never spent so much time watching one of them, but the things Rayven was going through were just hard to ignore. She never enjoyed watching anything this much. 

Angelica was even more fascinating to watch. Lucrezia couldn't see her unless she was with Rayven but that woman knew how to put a demon in his place. 

"Oh!" Lucrezia said loudly loving their interaction. This woman was exactly what someone like Rayven needed. He didn't know how lucky he was to have a woman tolerate his nonsense and not be afraid of him. What kind of creature was she? 

Fascinating. 

Even her sister Luciana accepted defeat and joined her to watch despite disliking the demon. "I feel bad for that woman." She said. 

"She is doing very well," Lucrezia pointed out. "Did you think he would bring her heart?" 

"I wasn't sure that is why I told him to do it. You were right." She admitted. 

Lucrezia smiled satisfied. 

"But he is still selfish. He only thinks about dying. Does he ever think what the woman has been through?" Luciana said. 

"It is a slow progress sister, even though I would say he changed much faster than I expected. It is Rayven we are talking about. This is a lot of progress for him. He will keep whining and tormenting himself until he faces something that… I don't know. Something." Lucrezia said trusting her instinct. "Do you really believe he is not redeemable?" 

Luciana became thoughtful as she watched him through the mirror. "Perhaps he is redeemable, but will he redeem himself?"