Book 5: Chapter 56: No going back

Book 5: Chapter 56: No going back

Heather looked over the graveyard from her balcony as a storm of thoughts raged in her head. For so long, she had been running from a series of truths, hiding behind her desire to escape. In her mad self-centered rush to find a way home, she had trampled nearly everyone who got in her way. Frank was trampled several times, yet he always stuck by her side, supporting her efforts any way he could.

All this time, he had been there, and slowly she began to rely on him to be her anchor in this world. She had come to depend on him for emotional stability, and now she had regrets. Because his ghoul appearance was so horrible, she refused to share her feelings with him. Slowly they seeped out, sometimes surprising herself when she realized she was holding his arm or leaning into his chest. There were moments when she would run a hand along that massive chest and smile to think of him as hers.

I'm a terrible person, Heather sighed. Despite those moments of weakness, she fought against the truth for far too long. Thankfully, a few days ago, she admitted she considered him her boyfriend, which opened the doors to finally having some honest conversation.

Frank was in love with her as well, but he feared she would never accept his appearance. The figurine Blackbast had given him helped boost his confidence, and Heather responded favorably. She found the human appearance handsome, and she began to have serious thoughts about her feelings for him.

Those thoughts continued to grow until they were consuming most of her time. She wondered how best to approach him but couldn't find the way. Now she had acted on impulse, and the need for those thoughts was passed. Their relationship had entered a new state of being, and Frank was now her lover.

Frank was asleep in her bed after a long night of firsts that forever ended their relationship as just friends. Now that the moment was passed, she felt like her head was finally clear to think and wondered what had happened. She was relieved it was finally over and happy about what they had done. But why did she feel such a sense of guilt over it? For the last two hours, she paced the balcony alone, trying to understand why it felt like she had hurt Frank somehow.

A few minutes ago, her answer came when she noticed a hunting ghoul prowling the graveyard. She saw that monstrous gray form and turned her eyes away. She realized she had done the same thing to Frank, refusing to love him until he looked beautiful. She began to wonder if Frank would still be in her bed if he hadn't been given the figurine. It was as shallow a point of view as anyone could have, yet good old Frank would say he understood. That was part of what she loved about him, how he never held things like that against people. He knew he was ugly and admitted he played it up intentionally to scare people away.

She tried to convince herself that she was excused from her shallow point of view, but the nagging truth kept coming back. If she wanted to love Frank, she needed to love what he was, and that was a ghoul, not a man. Now she felt guilty that she had forced him to wear a mask in order to win her affections.

I'm sorry, Heather whispered to herself as she dropped her head. One good thing came out of this moment; the realization that she no longer found his ghoul appearance horrible. She began to think of all the ways she had warmed up to him. She would hold a finger or clutch his arm, sometimes even resting against his chest while rubbing it with a hand. She rode on his shoulder and looked into that face without a hint of revulsion because she knew that was Frank inside. She was even jealous and protective of him now, seeing him as her future husband. That thought made her feel even more guilty as she remembered how upset she had been when Gwen insisted they marry. Of course, Frank didn't have the figurine back then, so the idea was abhorrent, but now that he could look pretty, she was eager to put that ring on.

Why am I so terrible? she cried and put hands over her face. She thought back to the previous night and the chance meeting with Jaina and Roric. Here was a man much like Frank, who looked like a cross between a wolf and a human. At first glance, he was savage and bestial, with long sharp teeth in the snout of some savage dog. He had yellow eyes like Frank, which added to the air of something wild and untamed. But trailing in his wake were four beautiful women who didn't bat an eye at his appearance. Instead, they openly called him master and were quick to offer him affection. Within minutes it was obvious they shared his bed, as Jaina, in particular, joked about how rough he could be. They were living proof that his appearance shouldn't matter, and that truth clawed at Heather.

She ran her hand over the collar lying on the railing of her balcony. She had to take it off last night as the urge to rush back to Blackbast became overwhelming. If it had stayed on a minute longer, she would burst into that tent and thrown herself at Blackbasts feet, begging for forgiveness for being away. She didn't want to think about what she might see inside that tent, with one savage man and six beautiful women. Still, the thought highlighted a point that she knew was partially responsible for her rash decision.

All that talk about love and sex that flowed like honey from Rorics slave girls had planted a seed in Heather's mind. By the time they camped for the night, Heather had been dwelling on the thought for hours. She was a woman who had certain cravings and needs that were going unmet. Yet here she was riding on the shoulder of a the man she loved. Why then were her needs not being taken care of?

She did the only thing that made sense and acted on the impulse. After all, they were about to be married, so why couldn't she express her feelings now? In hindsight, she realized she had been desperate for an excuse to express her feelings for a long time and grateful that one had come. Still, was it only because Frank was beautiful now?

Once again, the collar came to mind, and its insane power haunted her memories. It was one thing to make love to the man she had been secretly in love with for weeks. It was another to do it while wearing that thing. The collar replaced most of her racial class with a new one called a sex slave. With it came a host of abilities and powers that were terrifying to consider. They all centered around the slave enjoying sexual encounters. It heightened the sensations, increased the frequency, and turned the act of making love into an experience she would never forget. It also made her hungry for more in an almost primal way. After an experience like that, she craved more, and poor Frank was pounced on again and again. It wasn't until she felt the call to return to Blackbast that she managed to tear the thing off and come to her senses.

Now she was afraid to put it back on and hear its lurid call again. She wondered if this had played some role in her impulsive decision. Had the collar driven her to act on her arousal and pushed her over the edge? Blackbast once warned that it slowly altered a person's perspective, but that was only if it was locked, right?

She ran a finger across the leather and over the metal ring in the front. Now that she had experienced the collar's power, she wasn't sure she wanted to go without it. What woman wouldnt honestly want something that dramatically increased pleasure during sex? However, that meant she had to stay near Blackbast at all times, and one day the woman would go back to her temple. If Heather wanted to keep the collar on, she would have to go with and serve as an acting slave girl.

That thought was abhorrent, and she quickly put it out of her head. She could never do something like that, giving herself away freely to others. Blackbast could, and so could Jaina, judging by some of her comments, but Heather needed a love commitment, which brought her thoughts back to Frank. If he was a slave master class, could she wear his collar?

The answer was a resounding yes, but Frank was already a ghoul grave dancer. He would have to reset and choose new classes if he wanted to collar her. She would never ask him to do such a thing, but then Roric and harem arrived with another option. This hex witch could supposedly grant wishes and was known to not only remove the class restrictions of the collars but could also make people chosen. That would give Frank another class, and if he took a conqueror like Roric, he could take Heather as his pet. She would have her collar and be bound to the man she loved. They would have bonuses and magical skills to support one another, becoming an unstoppable team. It seemed the perfect solution and a wonderful way to show her affection for Frank, but there was a catch. Heather would have to be magically marked by a tattoo that acted as a blessing and curse. What it did exactly was uncertain, but Jaina said it would put requirements on Heather's more erotic desires.

She didnt like the idea of having forced sexual needs, especially considering her relationship with a ghoul. What terrible sordid thing might a succubus require of a necromancer and her undead boyfriend?

You know what, you dont need to worry about that, Heather said and pulled her hand away from the collar. All that matters right now is Frank. She turned back to the man asleep in the bed and returned to the room to climb in with him. The damage was done, so the least she could do was be there when he woke up. She was running a hand down his chest and thinking about where all this was going to lead when he opened his eyes.

Good morning, she said when he looked up and met her gaze.

Hey, good morning, he replied and looked nervous. Are you ok?

I'm fine. How about you? Heather asked.

I am really confused, he admitted. I enjoyed last night, but I worry it will change us. It's just I never thought I would have a relationship.

Frank, Heather interrupted. If you look back on all the time we have spent together, how could it have ended any other way? We have effectively been dating since we met, and now we're engaged to marry.

I guess so, Frank replied. But, I was afraid to say anything.

Why would you be afraid? Heather asked as she smiled softly.

Well, for one, I was so ugly, and girls as beautiful as you don't like ugly guys.

Ok, score one point for you, but I admit your looks turned me off. However, I got over it a long time ago, she insisted and asked him what his other concern was.

I was afraid to get close to you because you wanted to leave, he said. I was worried that if I fell in love with you and you found a way out, I would never heal.

And yet you worked so hard to help me get out? Heather asked.

I wanted you to be happy, he replied. I would do anything for you.

Oh, Frank! Heather groaned and hid her face in his chest. Why are you such a nice guy? I dont deserve you.

So does this mean we are? he asked without completing his sentence.

We are boyfriend and girlfriend engaged to be married, Heather answered for him. Lets just say it how it is and move on.

Do you love me? Frank asked with concern in his eyes.

Heather paused as she thought about her answer. It wasn't that she didn't love him; it was the guilt of saying it to the mask she made him wear. She pulled away from his arms and fished through his clothes until finally finding the figurine.

Heather? he asked with a pained note.

Change back, Heather said and pressed the figurine into his hand.

Why? he asked.

It's important, Heather insisted. I need you to change back, or this will never work.

Frank curled his hand around the figurine and spoke the activation word. Suddenly there was a massive gray ghoul in her bed with horrid teeth and slits for a nose. She took a deep breath and climbed in over him, laying on his chest so she could look him in the eyes.

I love you, she said with a smile. I love this you, the one who you really are. I am sorry you needed that figurine to make me say it. I hope you can forgive me for being so shallow.

Heather, Frank replied and put a hand over her rear. I know how horrible I look. I went out of my way to drive girls like you away. Who could blame you for being repulsed?

But after all the things you have done for me? Heather asked. Even now were marching across the other side of the world for my sake. All you ever wanted was to play in your dungeon, but you have suspended your whole life to try and help me escape. You always stand by my side and help me even when my ideas are foolish.

It took time, I guess, Frank replied and smiled awkwardly. But it did happen in the end, and now we are together.

I'm still sorry, Heather said and laid her head on his chest. And Frank, I want to stay. I want to stay here with you.

Youre sure about that? he asked as his hand tightened over her.

I have never been more sure about anything, Heather replied. Just promise me you will never change, and you will always love me.

So long as New Eden exists, I will always love you, Frank replied.

Good, Heather said with a smile. Now find a way to become a slave owner class so I can wear your collar.

What, why? Frank asked.

Oh, you poor boy, Heather teased with a broad smile. If only you knew.

They stayed together an hour more, then dressed and set out to find Breanne. Heather put the collar in her pocket, and with Frank at her side, they went to the swamp. They found her sitting alone on a rock near the water's edge, lost in deep thought. Heather called to her to announce their approach, and then she and Frank sat beside her to talk. She was deeply troubled by the idea of having a relationship again, but some small part of her wanted to risk it.

Is there some reason why you wouldn't risk it? Heather asked.

It isnt like I havent had relationships since I got here. Skullman and I had a thing, and there were a few others besides him, Breanne explained. But being a monster player always got in the way. It drove us apart, and I am afraid to try again.

But the ogre is a monster player, Heather pointed out. You would be the same.

I suppose that's true, but I hardly know him, Breanne said. Maybe if we had more time together, I would feel more relaxed about it.

Is it because he wanted to buy you that has you so upset? Heather asked.

I was upset about that, Breanne admitted. But I don't know if I should be.

Well, if it means anything to you, I would let Blackbast sell me to Frank, Heather said with a smile.

You two have known each other for months, and you're hardly ever apart, Breanne pointed out. If I had that kind of experience with Grumosh, I might reconsider.

In a way, it's kind of romantic, Heather suggested. The big powerful ogre so head over heels for the elf maiden that he tries to buy her.

I would rather he had asked me to accompany him, but even so, I wouldn't want to leave you and the others. I belong here with my friends, Breanne insisted. His lair is a thousand miles away from our home in the swamp.

I dont fit through the door easily, Frank replied.

What door? Roric asked as Heather grit her teeth at Franks slip.

It's a bit of a secret, Blackbast sighed. While shaking her head at them. But seeing as we have been so close, I think it is safe to share a little.

Could we have possibly gotten closer? Quinny asked as Jaina and Evalynn laughed.

Blackbast explained that they were traveling to return what they believed was a goblin artifact. Their lairs were very far to the south, and to provide some connection to home, they brought a magic doorway that allowed them to travel back and forth.

Oh, we should get something like that, Jaina exclaimed.

If I had ever seen something like for sale, I would have, Roric replied and then looked at Frank. Go ahead and take the form you're most comfortable in. None of us are concerned about what you look like.

Frank nodded but went to the palanquin to use his figurine where nobody would see. He returned to the group as a towering gray ghoul with gruesome features. Heather went right to his arms and smiled as he wrapped her in a hug while Jaina leaned over to Blackbast.

Those two are madly in love, aren't they? she asked.

Yes, but it has been kept under wraps until very recently, Blackbast replied. Something has changed, and I don't know what it is yet.

Frank sat on the ground with his legs crossed, and to Blackbasts surprise, Heather sat on his lap. The group went on to discuss the day and how they should be leaving soon. They encouraged Breanne to be open and honest with Grumosh before Jaina joined Heather and Frank.

So, how long have you two been so in love? she asked.

Heather blushed and let out a deep sigh, explaining how long they had been together and how she was too stupid to admit her feelings until recently.

So you just opened up about it a few days ago? Jaina said. Well, congratulations.

Thank you, Heather said.

Sorry if what I am about to say is not my place, but I have to pry, Jaina went on. What about your girlfriend?

My girlfriend? Heather repeated and looked up. Who are you talking about?

The beautiful zombie girl, Jaina said. All she did last night was talk about you two. Heather is so brave, and Frank is so strong. Heather can solve any problem, and Frank never backs down from a challenge. Heather saved me here, and Frank saved me there. If I didn't know better, I would say she loved you both.

She said all that? Heather said and looked to where Quinny was still talking to Breanne.

She told me that she had a crush on Frank, but she loved you so much that she refused to get in the way, Jaina said.

She does? Heather asked and looked at Frank. Did you know anything about this?

A little, he replied and looked nervous. She sorta told me that night I killed the werewolf guy.

And you never said anything to me? Heather asked as quietly as she could.

What was I supposed to say? Frank grumbled. She came to help me just after you freed her. We killed that guy together, and then she hugged me for coming to rescue her. She told me that she loved me but that I was meant to be with you, and then she walked off and never mentioned it again.

Ok, Heather said slowly. So my best friend is in love with my fiance. She took a moment to think about it and remembered the conversation in the pyramid. Quinny had come right out, expressing her interest in Frank, and Heather had promised to get out of the way. But it wasn't her fault, circumstances kept pushing them together, and well, she loved him now.

Is she normally this quiet? Jaina asked.

This is her I'm thinking face, Frank replied. It's one of her best qualities and also a curse. She likes to over analyze things.

You two are not being helpful, Heather groaned.

Do you want some helpful advice? Jaina asked. Invite her in. From what I can tell, she loves you both.

Im not that used to poly things, Heather said with a weak smile.

More of a one man and one woman person, Jaina said with a nod. Well, I would say you have a couple of choices. It sounds to me like she has the strength to walk away, so you either let her walk and never mention it, or you ask her in.

Were engaged to be married, Heather said. How would I explain this to Gwen?

Marry them both, Jaina said with a shrug.

Hey, Frank said as he considered that thought. If I become a prince by marrying you, would Quinny become a princess?

Wait? Why would marrying her make you a prince? Jaina asked.

Oh, didnt they tell you? Heather asked with a smile. I am a princess.

You're a princess! Jaina said loud enough to get the other's attention.

She is? Gisley asked with a squeal as Roric and Evalynn looked over in alarm.

Umm, yeah? Heather replied as the whole compound stared at her. Then, she caught Blackbasts stern gaze and realized she had said too much again.

Should we just go ahead and tell them everything? Blackbast asked as she strode over to glare at Heather and Frank. Or would you prefer to keep leaking it out in drips and drabs until they don't trust us?

I made a mistake, Heather sighed. My mind has been a little preoccupied.

Oh, was this supposed to be a secret? Jaina asked.

Look, it's easy to explain, Heather said. I made some big mistakes and got myself into a lot of trouble. There are some dangerous people looking for me, so when this journey came up, it became necessary to hide who I was. That's part of why we are wearing slave collars. People are looking for a bold, brash woman with a fiery temper, not somebodies slave girl. Plus, this isn't even my appearance. Blackbast used her panel to adjust my appearance to help conceal who I am.

So that's why they all have collars, but none of them are actually slaves, Roric said.

It's the last place anyone would expect to find me, Heather said. Blackbast has been kind enough to leave her home and travel with us to keep me safe. Frank is my husband-to-be, and my mother is the Queen of a major kingdom that also has plenty of enemies. Some of them would love to lay their hands on me as well, so keeping who I am and where I am going a secret is absolutely necessary.

And yet you risked your mission to rescue a monster player? Roric asked.

We couldn't leave him there, Heather insisted. Breanne was so sure she could get him out, and I hate to see people treated like that.

She has a good heart, Evalynn observed. Even though it put her mission at risk, she agreed to help another she owed nothing to.

Heather is like that, Quinny said. That's how she became a princess. She rescued Queen Gwen when nobody else would. She's amazing to the core.

Jaina winked at Heather as Quinny extolled her virtues, and Heather blushed.

Well, this is certainly an interesting meeting, Jaina said as she stood up. I have one final question that will determine if we continue to trust you.

And that is? Heather asked.

Will you invite us to your wedding? Jaina asked with a smile.

Heather looked to Frank, who shrugged, so she looked back and tilted her head as she took in the woman's naked form.

Only if all of you wear a dress, Heather countered.

Oh, and spoil our fun? Jaina laughed.

A dress, or it's no deal, Heather said firmly.

How about I wear panties? Jaina offered.

Fully clothed and in shoes, Heather insisted. I am sure mother would love for you to prance around naked, but I want a formal affair.

Gwen is a little fee spirited, Quinny agreed. Remember that statue of you?

Dont remind me, Heather groaned and looked at Jaina. So, are you coming clothed?

You can wear a dress, Roric said when Jaina looked to him for guidance.

Then consider yourself invited, Heather said. Oh, and in the kingdom, my name is Hannah.

Princess Hannah, Jaina said with a smile. I am very pleased to meet you.

Heather was pleased to meet her as well, but the time had come to get moving, and so off they went. Heather rode on Frank's shoulder as the group talked for a bit, then she looked at the palanquin to see Quinny's sad face. With a whisper to Frank, he fell back to sweep her up and put her on his shoulder. She smiled for the rest of the journey as Heather wondered what she was getting into.