Book 2: Chapter 24: Breaking Bread

Book 2: Chapter 24: Breaking Bread

I shook so hard with laughter that my legs collapsed beneath me. Snips and Claws made their way to me, chirping and hissing their delight as they leaned against me. Barry laughed harder than I’d ever seen—he took shallow, halting breaths, trying to get oxygen to his lungs as tears streamed from his eyes.

I lay on my back in the sand, delighting in the shaking forms of Snips and Claws as they similarly lost themselves to mirth. Minutes must have passed, and when I sat back up, the grandiose posture of the fishing club expedition had deflated.

“I’m—I’m sorry.” I wiped tears from my eyes. “We’re not laughing at you.”

“Then what are you laughing at?” Keith’s face was red, and his lips were pressed into a firm line. He turned his anger on Barry. “You. Who even are you? Why is Fischer’s neighbor laughing at a royal?”

Theo snorted.

“What happened to the Keith that said ‘the monarchy is nothing but a farce set up to suppress the common folk’?”

“I’m annoyed, all right?” he snapped. “I don’t understand what’s going on!”

I walked toward the fire, sat down before it, and gestured for them to follow. As everyone took a seat, I smiled at the ridiculousness of the situation I found myself in.

“I introduced Barry as my neighbor. That’s true, but he’s also something else.”

Danny smacked a fist down onto his open palm.

“Oh! He’s a cultivator too?”

“No—wait, yes. He is.” I made a dismissive gesture. “But that’s not what is important. Barry, behind my back and with the help of Sergeant Snips, started a cult. Or a church. I’m still not too sure, but that’s by design.”

I watched them closely, scanning for a hint of annoyance or malice, but all I saw on their faces was disbelief.

“Remarkable,” Ellis said. He picked up his pencil and watched the farmer intently. “What gave you the idea, Barry? How did you conclude that to be the correct course of action?”

“Timeout!” I held up a hand. “It’s a long story, but—wait, it’s not a long story at all. I wanna know as little as possible about the whole cult thing Barry has going on. I told you he set it up in secret, right? That’s because he knows me, and he understands that all I want to do is fish and make friends. You guys are more than welcome to discuss cult stuff, but I’d prefer it be done while I’m not around.”

Ellis’s eyes locked onto me, and he lowered his book, stroking his beard with one hand.

“You don’t have any desire to shape and mold the direction of your own church?”

“Not even a little bit.”

Barry smiled at me.

“We thought we were being sneaky, but Fischer knew we were doing it for quite a while and turned a blind eye.”

I snorted.

“That’s a nice way of putting it. In truth, I was putting my head in the sand and pretending my problems didn’t exist. That ended up being a mistake—I accidentally obliterated a tree in front of a friend of mine and—”

“A friend?” Barry interrupted, his eyes glittering.

“Oh, shush. The point is, pretending it wasn’t happening only caused me grief. So I let Barry know that I knew, and I’ve asked him to inform me if anything happens that would put anyone’s life at risk. Short of that, I’m blissfully unaware.” I took a deep breath and exhaled with a sigh. “It’s quite nice, really.”

Theo slapped Keith’s arm.

“I told you Fischer was a good man, didn’t I?”

Keith scowled at him.

“Are you saying that was all the truth?”

“It was.”

“A real crown auditor...” Barry said. “It’s true you can tell if someone is lying?”

“I can.”

“That would prove more than a little useful.” Barry rubbed his chin, and I could almost see the schemes coming together in his head. “Would you be willing to—”

“Barry.” I gave him a flat stare. “I’m still here, mate.”

“Oh. Right. My bad.”

Danny chuckled. It was deep and rough, like he’d spent a lifetime yelling at the top of his lungs, which I suppose may have been the case for a man organizing the guards of a capital city.

“It looks to me like we’ve made the right call in coming here.”

A smile crossed all of their faces; their joy was infectious, and I joined in.

“Now that all the boring details are taken care of, should we talk about the actually important stuff?”

Theo frowned, cocking his head to the side. for new novels

“What do you mean?”

“What else could I mean?” My smile transformed into a conspiratorial grin. “I’m talking about fishing.”

“You’re always talking about fishing!” a feminine voice called from the darkness.

Everyone’s heads turned, and when Maria strode around the headland, her skipping steps came to an abrupt end.

“Oh. Er... hi?”

“There’s no pressure—it’s totally up to you guys. You can have as little or as much as you like.”

“Are... are you going to season them?” Maria asked.

“I am. I’ve already planned a few different flavor combinations to—”

“I’ll get the spices!” she interrupted, sprinting for the house.

Theo’s head darted to the side at her explosive exit, and he slowly turned to face me, the question clear on his face.

“Yep,” I answered. “She’s a cultivator. Maria isn’t a member of the church, but as you can tell, she’s pretty keen on my cooking.”

Ellis stared after her departure.

“Astounding...”

“If you think that’s good, mate,” Barry said. “Wait until you try Fischer’s food.”

***

With each oyster I shucked, my hopes were dampened a little further. Considering the Xianxia shenanigans I had grown used to, I half expected each mollusk to contain a pearl—that wasn’t the case.

Am I really annoyed that each oyster—of which I have hundreds—doesn’t contain a stone worth more than a farmer might make in a decade?

I shook my head at myself and strode over to the fire with twenty freshly shucked mollusks.

“Where I’m from, it’s pretty normal to eat them raw, but it’s definitely not for everyone—just ask Barry.”

“Not for everyone,” he agreed, grimacing.

I laughed.

“It might be a bit of an acquired taste, and they’ll definitely taste better to the vast majority of people when cooked and seasoned.”

“Do you have any formal training?” Peter asked, peering down at the raw oysters.

“Not at all, but I’ve unlocked the cooking skill and leveled it a fair bit.”

“All right, that’s enough.” Theo crossed his arms and frowned at me, but I saw the hint of a smile on his face. “You’re hitting us with too many knowledge bombs for one evening.”

“Not at all,” Elis countered, sharpening his pencil. “Please continue. You say you have skills?”

“Yeah, the System or whatever seems to have started working again over the last few days. I’m pretty sure I was constantly gaining skills, but it only started listing them recently. Before that, it just said some bullshit about ‘insufficient power’.”

Ellis finished sharpening and blew on the tip of his pencil.

“That is... troubling,” he said, scratching away at his pad. “If it’s happening everywhere, that could mean we have to—”

“Hey!” I interrupted. “No scheming, planning, or plotting in my presence!”

“Oh. Right. My apologies.”

“It’s all good. So, who wants to try the oysters?”

Snips and Pistachio scuttled forward first, each of them noisily eating one. Rocky had returned, and he remained on the sand, claws crossed and attempting to look unimpressed, but his eyes were glued to the mollusk Snips ate beside him.

“Help yourself, Rocky.”

He turned his head away, but Snips nudged him forward, and with her suggestion, he scuttled forward and snatched one. As he ate it, his facade of indifference shifted to genuine bliss, and Maria and I shared a smirk at the cantankerous crab.

I grabbed an oyster, as did Maria and Peter.

“I think I’ll wait for the cooked ones,” Danny said, scrunching his face at what was clearly an unappetizing sight.

I ate mine first. As fresh as they were, there was no hint of the ammonia flavor that could sometimes accompany raw oysters. I watched Maria closely—her face bunched up, then she chewed and quickly swallowed.

“Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that...”

“Interesting...” Peter said, biting down on the oyster in his mouth. He tossed his head from side to side. “Not a great texture, but the flavor has a lot of potential.”

My eyes lit up.

“You like it?”

He nodded.

“I can see why it’s off-putting to some, but I didn’t hate it.”

“Mate, anything short of downright despising it on your first try is a good sign. You and I are going to get along.”

“Is it alright if I have another?”

“Help yourself!”

Everyone but Maria grabbed another, and as I was just lifting one to my mouth, a chirping from behind me drew my attention.

My favorite otter had returned, beaming a needle-sharp grin and dragging another cage across the sand.