Book 2: Chapter 40: Un-Bee-Lievable

Book 2: Chapter 40: Un-Bee-Lievable

I took a deep breath as I gazed at the western mountain range, an undeniable smile crossing my face. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen, and the setting sun painted the sky with a swath of soft pastel colors.

“Ho, Fischer!”

I turned toward Barry’s voice, raising an indignant hand to my chest.

“What did you just call me?”

He cocked his head in response.

“... what?”

“Don’t worry, mate. I’m just feeling a little giddy.”

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but then just shook his head at my antics.

“If you’re giddy now, wait until you see what Helen has cooked up.”

I raised an appreciative eyebrow. I knew she was making something sweet, but had no idea what.

“I didn’t take too much of your sugar, did I?”

“Not at all. We still have plenty left over, even after everyone pillaged it for their cooking.” He shot me a conspiratorial glance. “Are you going to tell me what you used the sugar for yet?”

I beamed back.

“Nope! Rest assured, though—the result is un-bee-lievable.”

My eyes must have sparkled with mirth, because he squinted at me. As his stare narrowed further, the fishing club arrived.

“G’day, fellas!” I said, turning from Barry’s scrupulous gaze.

They all gave me hearty greetings, except for Peter, whose attention was lasered in on the covered tray in his hands.

“Ooh, what you got there?” I asked, finally drawing his attention.

He reverently placed the tray down on the table I’d set up, then let out a relieved sigh.

“That depends—are you going to tell me what you did with the cultivator sugar?”

Ellis’s face grew annoyed.

“I have told you countless times that chi sugar is a much more accurate name.”

“I don’t know, Ellis,” Theo said, rubbing his chin. “I’m with Peter on this one—who in Athena’s wealth of wisdom even knows what chi is?”

“It’s the historically correct term for the essence that suffuses the world and allows cultivation.”

I looked between the group, smiling.

“Bit of debate on the terminology, huh?”

Ellis sighed.

“Quite.”

“Well, let me settle it for you—you’re all wrong.”

They blinked at me, and Theo’s head tilted to the side.

“We are...?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Well, what do you call it then?”

“Pew-pew sand.”

A sea of blank stares met me.

“Pew-pew sand?” Barry asked, his voice full of incredulity.

“Yeah, mate. It has the consistency of sand and gives you pew-pew powers.”

Everyone’s faces adopted a look somewhere between annoyed, confused, and downright befuddled—except for Ellis. He removed his notebook.

“What is pew-pew? Do you have access to information that we do not?”

“You’re damn right I do.” I made finger guns, then started firing them. “Pew. Pew pew.”

Ellis stopped taking notes.

“Er—right. If sugar is pew-pew sand, what is the rum Barry makes?”

“That’s easy, mate—it’s pew-pew juice.”

Silence stretched over the gathering.

Theo raised his arm.

“Those in favor of disregarding every single one of Fischer’s name suggestions—past, future, and present?”

“Aye,” came all of their responses, punctuated by an ocean of raised arms.

“Heretics!” I gasped, my eyes going wide. “You would defy the heavens?”

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I whirled, beaming at the only person in Tropica who could make clearing their throat sound cute.

“Do I even want to know?” Maria asked, quirking a brow.

I gave her my most charming smile.

“Probably not.”

***

With the warm light tiki torches guiding the way, the rest of the cult—er, church—slowly trickled in.

Fergus and Duncan were the last to arrive, and I spread my arms wide as they walked around the headland.

“Welcome, fellas!” I pointed at the trays held in their hands. “You can put the food down on the table if you...” I trailed off as I realized the entire thing was covered in bowls, plates, cups, and bottles of rum.

I waved his protest away with a smug grin.

“Details. The point is it’s delicious.”

Maria took a bite of a glistening carrot and let out an mmph, her body melting back into her chair.

“Good,” was all she said before putting another piece in her mouth.

Peter, who was only just recovering from his emotional moment, took a bite of said vegetables.

His lip quivered again.

***

With the savory portion of the feast concluded, we lay on the sand.

I couldn’t recall who had started it, but before I knew it, everyone was prone and caressing distended stomachs.

“I regret nothing,” Maria said.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

A carpet of stars spread out above us, and I stared at their flickering forms, wondering at the distance and composition of the foreign constellations. It was a sobering moment that reminded me just how far I was from Earth. For some, that would have been a horrifying thought—perhaps for most.

To me, it was anything but. As if sensing my thoughts, Maria rolled over.. She settled into the nook of my arm and lay her head atop my chest. I reached up to pet her hair, marveling at how soft it was. The scent of her shampoo reached my nose—something earthy and floral.

“It’s a lovely night,” she said.

“Isn’t it?” With my other hand, I took turns petting Claws and Snips, who were leaning against my other side. “The only thing that could make it sweeter would be my secret condiment.”

She jolted upright and peered down at me.

“Are you finally going to tell us? The mystery has been plaguing my thoughts all day.”

I raised a hand and wiggled my fingers.

“A magician never reveals his tricks, but I suppose I could show you if you’re ready for dessert.”

“I certainly am,” Barry said from across the sands.

“Hey!” I lifted my head to glare at him. “No eavesdropping!”

He also raised his, giving me a smirk.

“Then you shouldn’t have fed me fish and turned me into a heretical cultivator—I couldn’t not hear you if I tried.”

“Hmm. That’s a good point.” I sat up, stretching my arms toward the heavens. “What do you say, everyone? Time for sweets?”

As one, we stood at a decidedly lethargic pace.

“All right, gang. If I could please have your attention.”

I gave everyone time to amble over to the table, taking great joy in the anticipation on their faces despite how much we’d already eaten.

“You said condiment, didn’t you?” Barry asked, glancing between the two covered trays I stood behind. “I thought you made a dish...?”

“Nope!” I replied, grinning. “That was subterfuge. I’ve procured something we can add to the no-doubt irresistible dishes you’ve all prepared.”

Peter leaned forward, staring at the two metal coverings with greed. So did Ellis, his pencil and notepad ready to go.

“Procured?” Barry asked. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

Maria gasped.

“Don’t tell me...” She leaned in close, shielding her mouth and whispering. “The hive...?”

I shot her a wink.

“That’s right, my learned student of all things heretical.”

Half expecting an elbow to the ribs in response, I braced my core, but Maria was too stunned—she stared wide-eyed at the coverings before me.

I looked up at the sea of faces, slowly reaching down to grasp the left tray.

“I give you... honey!”

I lifted the cover high, revealing the golden liquid in all its glory.

“Er—Fischer?”

“What’s up, Barry? I’m kinda trying to be dramatic here...”

“Isn’t that just water... and what are those insects?”

I looked down.

Sure enough, a cup of what appeared to be water sat on the plate. Half of it had been drunk, and laying before it, clearly food-coma’d out of their minds, were two bees.

“Oh, my bad. Wrong tray.” I lifted the other covering. “I give you... honey!”

“Are those bees?” Maria asked, ignoring the pot of honey and bending down to stare at them. “Are they dead?”

“Oh, them? That’s just Bumblebro and Queen Bee.” I waved away her concern. “They’re having a nap, I believe.”

They both stirred, slowly getting to their feet.

“How are you guys?” I asked, bending down so I was eye-level with them. “I told you sugar water was good stuff!”

They both let out a sluggish buzz, unequivocally agreeing.

“Wait...” Barry said. “Don’t tell me...”

I looked around the group, but they only had eyes for the two bees. Corporal Claws leaped onto the table and twisted her head, letting out curious coos while trying to see them from every possible perspective.

“Are you guys serious?” I threw my hands up but couldn’t keep the smirk from my lips. “I broker a trade deal with sapient insects for something this gods’ forsaken world hasn’t worked out can be farmed, and all you care about is my new pals?”

Some looked at me for a moment, but their attention was quickly rearrested by the two honey makers.

“Ah, well, I guess it can’t be helped.” I let out a deep, theatrical sigh. “Bumblebro, Queen Bee—this is everyone. Everyone, these are our newest pals: Bumblebro and Queen Bee.”

They both raised a limb and waved, making a greeting buzz with their wings.