Chapter 91 - Mountain Bandits
The four of us walked on the mountain path. Chen Zhi said: "Looking at the terrain here, it should be where bandits roam! We have to be even more careful! " I said, "Fang is in a chaotic time right now, but there are a lot of bandits! He really had to be careful! Sigh! Just as I said, look! There was really a bandit appearing in front of them! Sigh! How vexing! "Since my words are so accurate, it seems like I'll have to turn into a spy!"
In front of us, a bandit head blocked our path and shouted: "This road is mine, this tree is mine to plant. If you want to pass this road, you have to leave behind money to buy road!" I walked up to the man and said with a smile, "Brother, that phrase is long out of date! Can you change it to something new? " bandit head was depressed: "What does my name have anything to do with you! Besides, this has been going on for thousands of years. I smiled and said, "So that's how it is! Sigh! If you can answer my question, I'll leave the money for you to buy it for! "
bandit head laughed coldly: "Someone as smart as me will definitely be able to answer that question! Ask away! " I looked at bandit head's head and saw that it was only bare to the point of having two hairs. I teased him and said, "Ai! The light on his head is truly extremely smart! " The bandit head was extremely pleased.
I said to the bandit head: "Really? Are you sure? Not changing? Are you really going to answer my question? " bandit head said, "Quickly tell me! I am a robber! I'm good enough to answer your questions! You're still like this! Woo woo … * I feel like I have no face at all as a bandit! "
I laughed and said, "I began to ask. When you had indigestion, you complained to the doctor, 'What have I been eating lately? Cucumber, cucumber, watermelon, how can I return to normal?' The problem is how you are going to get back to normal! " bandit head said angrily: "Who would know the answer to such a shitty question!"
I said smilingly, "Congratulations, your answer is completely correct! The answer is that you can only eat shit. " The bandit head pointed at himself and asked, "Do I eat feces? I will eat feces! " I smiled at him and said, "Yes! You eat shit! You got it right. This is your reward money! There was no need to search! Oh! Right, may I ask, do you have any more acceptance speeches for the award? "
bandit head was very happy. "Thank you! First of all, thank you very much for letting me eat feces! Secondly, I have to thank my parents … " bandit head seemed to feel that something was amiss and shouted angrily, "Damn it! Do you take me for an idiot! A single coin was the least. How could he still find it! What's even more despicable is that you actually want me to thank you for scolding me for eating feces! "This is so infuriating!" I smiled and said, "Who told you to be so stupid! You actually fell for my trick! "
Zhang Tie said to me: "He's very smart!" I said, "Oh! Why do you say that, third brother? " Zhang Tie laughed and said, "Isn't there such a sentence? "If there is no grass on the road with many people, then there is no hair on the head of the wise!" bandit head was overjoyed as he looked at Zhang Tie with gratitude. Zhang Tie smiled foolishly at bandit head and said, "I'm sorry! You are not worthy of being called good with me! Because you have two forked hairs on your head and hair on your head, so you are not a smart person! "Because I am smart, and you are not, we are not, after all, smart!" bandit head fainted on the spot when he heard it.
bandit head was furious, "Damn it! Brothers, attack! Snatch! Cut them all into eight pieces! " The five bandits beside bandit head brandished their large swords and rushed towards me. The other bandits were naturally dealt with by Li Xiong, Chen Zhi and Zhang Tie. I used my sword to dissolve the attacks of the five bandits. The knives of the five bandits cut down on me from above. As I leapt into the air, the natural bandit's five knives struck the ground. I stood on my own on top of five stacked knives. The five bandits tried to pull the knife back, but they couldn't.
I replied smilingly, "I can't take it out, right?" Good! Let me help you! " After I said that, I sent a kick to each of the bandits' faces. The five bandits fell to the ground, rolling back and forth.
bandit head, who had been beaten black and blue, was brought in front of me by Li Xiong. This little one has eyes but does not recognize Mount Tai, please forgive this little one! " I said smilingly, "I'll spare you. It's not certain that you won't commit such a crime again. I might as well hand you over to the government!" bandit head begged, "Please don't!"
Chen Zhi worriedly asked: "Government? Wasn't the government officials the officials of the xanthopanax? "Fourth brother, if we hand them over to the government, wouldn't that be …" I know what Chen Zhi was referring to, so I said: "Why don't we just tie these bandits up in front of the officials' yamen?" Chen Zhi said: "That's fine too!"
At this time, Li Xiong said, "Ah! Listen, what is this sound? It seems to be a shout for battle! " bandit head said complacently: "You all are dead meat! It must be the boss! We have thousands of men! Our boss's kung fu is amazing! All four of you are just waiting to die! "He has never died before for daring to lay a finger on an old man's head!" When Chen Zhi heard bandit head's words, he couldn't help but turn pale from shock …
Li Xiong said: "I'll go take a look!" I warned him repeatedly, "You must be careful in everything you do!" Li Xiong! " Li Xiong laughed and said: "Don't worry!"
After a while, Li Xiong returned and said, "There are dozens of bandits robbing us right now! But from what I see, those people don't look like bandits! It's like an army soldier. " I curiously asked, "Soldiers from the army?" Why did he dress up as a bandit? Let's go take a look! " Chen Zhi said anxiously: "Fourth brother, we are in xanthopanax's territory now! It would be better to have less to do! Forget it! " I righteously said, "It doesn't seem right not to save him! Let's go and see how the situation is before we act! " Chen Zhi sighed: "Sigh! How did it become like this? "
Li Xiong led us to a mountainside. Naturally, those bandits who were tied up were also brought here and sealed their mouths.
Li Xiong said, "The bandit is about to succeed! Should we draw our swords and help them? " Zhang Tie said: "Of course we have to help out when we see injustice! You can't see that beauty! Although she was wearing a veil, her curvaceous, concave, devilish figure was really mesmerizing! This is the perfect time for a hero to save a beauty. If you don't save her now, you will be letting down the conscience of heaven! " Zhang Tie and I joked, "Yeah! That butt is sharp and perky, I can't give birth to a child! Isn't that so! "Third brother!" Zhang Tie laughed: "As expected, you did not become my brother for nothing! He could actually say such classic words! Very good! It seems like some people were wrong when they said that you were a rooster that couldn't bear to lay eggs! Save this woman first, Zhang Tie will definitely teach you more in the future! "
After Zhang Tie finished speaking, he rushed down the mountain and shouted, "You little thieves, don't be arrogant! Your Master Zhang Tie is here! " Then we ran down the hill.
The leader stood up and said: "Kid! I told you not to meddle in other people's business! Previously, there was also someone like you who didn't know his place. However, after being beaten black and blue, I think it's better for a pretty boy like you to quickly leave! I am happy today and will spare your life! " The leader then extended a finger towards a person who had been beaten senseless and was moaning in pain on the ground.
Zhang Tie looked around, only to see two people on the ground, blood was flowing all over the floor, and the two people were already dead. Zhang Tie asked: "Is it them? Wasn't it just a single slash? Even if they were to die under the peony flower, they would still die like the wind! I'm willing too! " The leader said, "How depressing! Where are my fingers! Those two are just the servants of the families I want to rob! " Zhang Tie, "Oh! That's right! I'm sorry! Your finger is in the shape of a J! I was wrong, you can't blame me for that! " bandit head: "I'm dizzy!" Hearing that, Zhang Tie's face lit up, and said happily: "It's best if I pass out, it won't be difficult for me to save the beauty as a hero! If my blind cat touches a dead mouse, I'll be so happy! "Haha!" That person was extremely depressed as he loudly shouted, "Quickly, let me see the outcome of that person who wanted to be the hero and save the beauty!"
Zhang Tie looked towards the direction the man was pointing and was shocked: "How can you beat him so badly! "His face was pale and his nose was green. How pitiful!" The leader proudly said, "Are you afraid?"
Zhang Tie hurriedly replied: It is indeed none of my business! Goodbye! I'm leaving! " The leader of the group laughed complacently. But who would have thought that Zhang Tie would suddenly rush in front of that man and give him a punch in the stomach? That man was beaten so hard by Zhang Tie that he squatted on the ground, clutching his stomach. The other bandits shouted, "General Du! "You scoundrel! How dare you hit our general!" Zhang Tie asked: "He's a general? General Du? " The beauty said, "Hero, you should leave quickly! He is the general of xanthopanax, Du Yuan! " Zhang Tie acted like a hero and said to the beauty: "Beauty, don't worry! Wasn't Du Yuan the useless thief in the xanthopanax? I am sure of it! You can even think of such a thing with your toes! " When the beautiful woman heard this, she covered her mouth and laughed.
Du Yuan bellowed: "WHAT! How dare you insult me like that! Go on! Kill them for me! Up! Cut the person who insulted me into eight pieces! " Dozens of people surrounded Zhang Tie. Zhang Tie said: "As long as I call out lightly, you, Du Yuan, will definitely die!" Du Yuan laughed coldly: "Tell me! I don't believe it! " Zhang Tie: "I wish you a long and beautiful birthday, a life longer than Nanshan, and blessings like the East Sea!" Hearing that, Du Yuan laughed: "Now you flatter me, don't you think it's too late?" Zhang Tie ignored him and continued, "You will forever live in our hearts! Rest in peace! We'll always miss you! "
Once Zhang Tie finished his sentence, Du Yuan: "Ah!" He fell to the ground and died. Du Yuan's dozens of subordinates were shocked! Zhang Tie put on a heroic look, "Do you all want to die? If you don't want to, then scram! Do you all want to die just like him, with a light cry from me?! " Zhang Tie continuously winked at the beautiful woman as he spoke. Du Yuan's subordinates: "Yes! Yes! Great Lord! We're leaving right now! "We'll leave immediately!" Just as the lackeys were about to run away, Zhang Tie shouted in a serious tone: "Wait! You haven't asked me to be a great hero yet! If you want to shout, then scram! " The subordinates carried Du Yuan's body and quickly ran away while shouting "Great Hero".
Zhang Tie kept tossing his hair, trying to act cool.
At this time, the beautiful woman walked towards Zhang Tie with gentle footsteps. Zhang Tie thought: "Hehe, she must have wanted to thank him and say that she's repaying him with her body! When she's finished, I'll throw myself on her and give her a warm hug! " Zhang Tie rushed towards the beauty like a hungry tiger pouncing on its prey. Zhang Tie rushed over with his hands folded. He wanted to hug the beauty, but who would have thought that the beauty was actually not coming towards him? It caused both of Zhang Tie's legs to fly into the air and fall onto the ground.
The beauty put her palms together and gracefully squatted down to greet me. "Thank you for saving my life, hero! This little girl will never forget it! " The other woman next to the beauty bowed to me. I hastily replied, "I didn't save you!" Beauty: "No! If it wasn't for Hero sending out a small knife to kill Du Yuan, then that Hero … " The beauty pointed at Zhang Tie and continued, "If I scare the group of thieves off, then I will be in trouble!"
I placed my right hand on the back of my head and gave a helpless look to Zhang Tie! Zhang Tie was extremely depressed!
Zhang Tie flew to the beauty's side: "This is my fourth brother, he learnt the art of throwing daggers from me! The name of this throwing knife skill was Little Zhang's throwing knife! Do you want to learn it? I'll teach you! " The beauty smiled at Zhang Tie noncommittally. Zhang Tie immediately fainted …
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[Note 1]: This sentence is contained in a crosstalk performance. I just copied it down. I just wanted to let everyone have a fun time, so there's no meaning in it! Actually, I am a person who likes to write novels that are out of line. The readers who have watched my "The Three Kingdoms Football Wind" and "Qingshan" know about it. For a moment, he could not help but write something along the way to make a joke out of it. It's been a long time since I've written about it!