Chapter 52 - 50: Downpours

' Clang '

Piercing sound of plates and cups as it broke to the floor creating sharp shards of porcelain. With red eyes, her shouts were, even more, piercing to his heart.

Tears rolled down to her cheeks from both anger and loathe. Li Lei stood with his expressionless face, doing nothing as he stares deeply at Xiao Yun's rage.

Between her sobs, she grits her teeth and roared. " Y-You! Do you know how much I've suffered from you? "

Xiao Yun glared at him in silence only her sobs and cries could be heard from the spacious room. Looking at Li Lei's ever still expression, she laughs. " Hahaha, Ju-Just what did I expect from talking with you...? You've been always like this silent and cold...Really, how foolish, how foolish I am for expecting something from you! "

Her words digs deep through his heart like sharp claws. The breath he inhales felt even more aching and burns.

In Li Lei's eyes, her sad and angry expressions hovered, his heart had begun to waver. His lips parted the words that he want to express to her were already at the tip of his tongue. But before he did, his grips tighten, again he held back and exhale along with his sadness.

Xiao Yun, " Mr. Li, Have you really ever look at me? "

Hearing this, Li Lei turns his face toward her. Staring straight at her with words he couldn't express.

Any sane people would understand the meaning of his gaze. However, her eyes had been blinded by anger, the obvious became oblivious.

Xiao Yun walks a few steps back taking a paper inside her bag. She took the paper and throws it at the table in front of her. " T-This, sign it! " she ordered.

Li Lei look quietly at the paper in front of him, observing in silence. Leaving the paper on the table, her legs step away from the table, leaving him alone.

A step away from the door, she stopped. Wiping her tears off her cheeks, organizing her breath and aching pain in her heart, it took a while for her to speak.

Xiao Yun, " Mr. Li, it's fine if you don't want to answer my questions, or don't think that all my questions even mattered. B-But..." She bit her lower lips, tapping her chest and continues.

" Have you really, ever...even once loved me? "

She stood still, frozen at her place.

Waiting for his response.

'Just once' she thought, ' Just once, won't you ever really look at me? '

All this time she had loved Hong Yan Xun, thinking that Yan Xun is her ideal man. Even when she married Li Lei, she believed that her heart would always stay with Yan Xun. But that doesn't mean she never looked at Li Lei.

She did.

She did for more than a few times, no... she had done it since they were married. But he has never looked at her too.

Was the aching pain stabbing in her heart was really because of her hate to him? Or...was it because of her love for Hong Yan Xun?

Or love for him?

Still no answer, Xiao Yun laughs hiding her trembling voice. " Mr. Li, please let me go. I'll also let you go. "

The pain in her heart, anger, anxiety, furious, confusion, every day her mind became chaotic because of him. She couldn't understand it anymore, she doesn't want to feel these mixed feelings inside her heart turning her into a weirder being, someone who she, herself could not understand.

Like the clouds rumbling in the night, she left the house.

Left him behind.

Watching her back as she leaves, red blood drips from Li Lei's palm. But as if everything in his body became numb, he could felt nothing other than the burning pain in his heart.

Tears flow from his eyes.

' Should I've let you go, Xiao Yun? '

" But-I can't "