Chapter 54 - 51: Downpours-3

The cloud gathers and filled the evening sky with colors of grays and black. Blue flashes of lightning along with the pouring raindrops landing on her cheeks.

The cold raindrops on her cheek brought her back from her daze. For half an hour after she steps out of Hong Yan Xun's house, Xiao Yun walks in daze not knowing where to go.

The next thing she realizes, she already stood across Li Lei's house. She doesn't know why or how she ended up there. But her feet had unconsciously walk to his house without a second thought.

She stood there without a word, staring at his house. After all this time, she finally understood what she had done to the person who loved her the most.

Xiao Yun knead her palm into a fist. Her sharp nails digging through her palms and red blood trickles down to the ground.

Xiao Yun, ' Just who? Just who made me into a this much of a hateful person? Was it Hong Yan Xun? Or was it Qu Mei Xing?'

Xiao Yun shook her head, laughing at herself with hatred. No, who was she joking with? The person who turned her into the person she loathes the most was no one other than herself.

And the person who hurt Li Lei the most was also herself.

With the moon going even deeper through the horizon, Xiao Yun continues her steps to Li Lei's house. Her legs felt petrified as if something was dragging onto her feet, every step she took as she got closer to the door grew heavier.

She knew what was holding her back, she knew it well-it was her guilt dragging her down, reminding her of what she had done to him.

Xiao Yun opened the door softly. Her body felt tired and haggard, she didn't even notice that her body temperature had risen up.

As soon as she opened the door, Xiao Yun's eyes observe the hall, looking if there are any servants around the house. After a while, she realized that no one was there, in fact, other than the hall, every room inside the house was dark.

Xiao Yun thought, ' Did Li Lei went out? '

Thinking that maybe Li Lei went out of the house, she relaxed and let out a sigh. With what she had said to him a few hours ago, she couldn't possibly dare to show her face to him.

Xiao Yun switch on the light in the living room, she looked around her searching for a towel to warm herself. But when her eyes notice the person sleeping on the couch her body froze. She gasps, but before she could raise voice in surprise, Xiao Yun closes her mouth with her palm, trying not to make a sound.

Xiao Yun took a step closer, observing whether Li Lei was sleeping. After she confirms that Li Lei was sleeping, Xiao Yun quietly took a blanket and cover him carefully. The way he curls himself like an infant feeling lonely and empty, it reminds her of how cruel she was to him.

She knelt near the couch and gazes at Li Lei's face silently. A droplet of tears trickles from the corner of her eyes. ' Since when? ' she thought.

' Since when did you become dear to me? '

She wants to stay, right next to him, ask for his forgiveness and learn more about him. But as she thought this, the immense anger that she felt to herself continues to dig deeper into her soul.

Whatever it is, it's too late.

It was too late for her to ask him for his forgiveness. Too late for her to know more about him. Too late for her to stay next to him.

And, It was too late for her to...Love him-

Xiao Yun raises her hand to touch his cheek, but before she could, all the words she shouted on him, come down running through her mind, the guilt swallowing her felt unbearably painful. She couldn't bear the hammering pain in her heart, retracts her hand and quickly stood up.

Suddenly, she felt someone tugging the hems of her skirt, stopping her from walking. Xiao Yun shakes her head and looks down at the source of the pull.

" ...Xia..o Yu...n " A low-tone hoarse voice called her name as he clenches on Xiao Yun's skirt.

Li Lei's eyes were still tightly closed as tears trickle from the corner of his eyes. Xiao Yun froze, gazing at his tears silently.

Li Lei's expression grew darker, he frowned in pain and grunts, and mumbles. " N-No, don't go...Xiao Yu-"

His words sounded weaker as he pleads, hearing this, her heart feels even more painful. She bit her lips trying to hold back her tears.

For all these 4 years of their marriage, she had never seen Li Lei ever changes her expression, much less his sorrowful expression. Now she realized-she realizes that she had never seen anything about this man.

She had always thought him as a strong, cold and indifferent man. Thinking that he is always as proud an arrogant, a human with no flaw and hated him for how he is.

She never knew that everything he has shown was the perfected image of him.

Once again, she knelt down and lowered her lips to his. A soft dainty kiss landed on Li Lei's lips along with her tears.

Xiao Yun, " I'm sorry and...Goodbye..." she whispers and held back another word that she wanted to say.

Xiao Yun pull her luggage outside his house and gazes at the dark rainy sky that seemed as if it was crying. Before she leaves, the word that she kept on holding back seeped through her lips.

" I love you. "