Volume 2 - CH 16

Chapter 16: Future

“I’m really sorry about yesterday…!”

After working overtime, I went home immediately and apologized to Sayu. She confusedly waved her hand in the air.

“No, no, it’s not your fault, Yoshida-san.”

“Even so…”

“Fine, fine. Anyway, why don’t you get changed? Dinner’s ready.”

Sayu pushed me from behind and forced me into the room.

I had many more things to apologize for, but I knew that resisting now would not get me anywhere, so I obediently followed.

While I was changing out of my suit and into my sleepwear, Sayu was quickly preparing the dinner table. By the time I finished changing, all the dishes were on the table.

“Thanks.”

“It’s nothing. Let’s eat!”

“Bon appétit!”

Sayu said with her hands clasped together and picked up her chopsticks before I did. It was clear that she was looking out for me.

I also said “Bon appétit” and took a sip of the miso soup. I could feel my whole body relax. When I sipped Sayu’s miso soup, it really made me feel like I’m back home.

“Sayu.”

I was thinking about it the whole time, even while I was at work.

“Yes?”

Without waiting for Sayu to tilt her head, I bowed my head deeply.

“I’m sorry you had to go through something scary.”

“Huh? That’s not true.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

“But you protected me!!”

Sayu shouted, and surprised, my body began to tremble. Then I suddenly shook my head several times.

Sayu shouted, and then her body shook as if she had been struck by her own loud voice. Then she quickly shook her head.

“You protected me…”

“But still, you must’ve felt hurt.”

“I got what I deserved. It reminded me of the path I’ve taken just to get here.”

“But…”

“Yoshida-san.”

I was interrupted by Sayu.

She put her chopsticks down on the table and stared into my eyes.

“Before I came here…”

With a serious look in her eyes, Sayu continued to speak.

“I thought that no one would ever really help me. So if I let myself be used, I could do the same to them. That’s how cynical I was.”    

Be used.

It’s about allowing the other person to do what they want. And being used means, in her case, getting a safe place to stay. If that’s what she meant, then that’s certainly what she was doing.

“But…”

Sayu paused and then closed her eyes. Then she inhaled and exhaled slowly. When she opened her eyes, she had a very soft and natural smile on her face.

“Then I met you, Yoshida-san. You were the first person who protected me. I also met Asami, and she accepted me for who I was.”

Sayu’s eyes watered slightly as she said this.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the smile she had on her face. I’ve never seen her smile like that before.

“I wanted to run away from it all, but it was so hard to go anywhere. I thought that no matter where I went, it would be hopeless. But I couldn’t stop running, and so I suffered for a long, long time.”

Sayu suddenly stood up and walked over to me. She then sat down next to me and gently pinched my shirt.

“But after living with you, Yoshida-san, finally… I finally—­”

Sayu looked into my eyes and then pulled my shirt tightly.

“It’s like… I’m finally able to think about the future.”

When I heard those words, I felt goosebumps all over my body.

“The future…”

The next thing I knew, I was saying those words to myself.

“Yeah, the future.”

Sayu nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. She continued to speak.

“It’s not about how far I’m going to run anymore, it’s about where I’m going to go.”

“Sayu…”

“What I should do, what I want to do… I’ll give it serious thought.”

After saying that, Sayu placed her hand that she used to pull my shirt on top of my hand.

“I’ll summon up my courage, so…”

After she said that, a single tear flowed down her cheek.

“Just a little longer…Will you stay by my side?”

Just a little longer.

I trembled at those words.

Suddenly, I was speechless. Sayu winced as she tried to hold back her tears.

“No good…?”

“No, it’s just that…”

Sayu had said, “Just a little longer.”

It was something we had both been keeping vague and just now, she put it into words herself.

“You’re really…”

Finally, she set a “deadline” for herself.

And she brought it up on her own. It was a huge milestone for our relationship.

“Really… great.”

I said with a sigh.

“Huh?”

As Sayu tilted her head in confusion, I placed my hand on her head and stroked her hair roughly, not caring that it made her hair messy.

“H-Hey, Yoshida-san.”

If Sayu had made up her mind, there was no way I could not make up mine.

Deep down, I didn’t think it was wrong for her to keep postponing the “deadline” and stay here forever.

Just as Yaguchi had said, I enjoyed living together with this girl. I felt like I was saving her, and yet I was also being saved.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this. But I hadn’t been able to articulate it clearly until now, and I was tormented by the contradiction.

As her guardian, I can’t just sit around and do nothing.

“Me too.”

When I said that, Sayu looked me in the eye with her messy hair.

“I’m going to help you get back on track so you can get back to living a normal life.”

At my words, Sayu’s eyes widened greatly.

“So…”

I decided to say something to her that I had never said before.

“Hang in there.”

Sayu’s eyes instantly welled up and she roughly wiped them with the sleeves of her sweater. She sniffed her stuffy nose and shook her head vigorously.

“Yeah!”

And then, with a smirk and a toothy grin, Sayu smiled.

It was a childlike smile that I had never seen before. I couldn’t help but admire it for a moment.

“Oh, crap.”

“Hmm?”

Hiding my embarrassment, I pointed to the miso soup.

“It’s getting cold.”

“Ah, that’s right. Let’s eat right away.”

Sayu wiped her eyes once more with the sleeve of her sweaters and quickly went back to her side of the table where her dinner was placed.

This is good.

Little by little, Sayu is starting to look forward to her future. Eventually, she’s going to return to a normal life.

That’s what I thought, but I realized something.

I took a sip of the miso soup and let the saltiness of it sink into the back of my tongue.

What happened between me and Sayu today was a promise of goodbye.

Sayu is aware of it too.

But even so, I think we were both convinced that it was the right thing to do.