Chapter 72

72 iii. Lost

She closed the photo album where their picture has been. Her tired eyes wrinkled a bit as she smiled.

It has been quite so many years ago when they took their family picture while grape-picking. It was such a fun memory to have. It was good they had it stored somehow.

Her frail hands now paler than a white sheet was gripped tightly by her husband as her dry lips painted a warm smile on her face.

He never left her, not once. Not when she was diagnosed with brain cancer, stage three. Not when she underwent chemotherapy and lost her strength.

Not even when she lost her hair, replaced by a scarf neatly tied across her head. Dominus pulled her weak hand and planted a soft kiss.

Dominus has always been there for her, preventing her from giving up so easily. Even when her terrible headaches racked her whole being, the intense pain making it hard for her to even breathe.

But it has been so tiring. As much as her mind and heart wanted so badly to continue living. She knew it wasn’t meant to be.

“Do you need anything, honey?” he asked as he looked at her the same way. The same eyes that looked at her on their high school football field like she is the most beautiful girl in the world still looks at her the same way.

“Do you need to see the doctor, my queen?” he was about to stand and call for assistance but she abruptly stopped him.

.....

“No, don’t go, daddy. Please stay with me for a little while longer. I have so many things I wanted to tell you,” she begged him, her eyes insistent as he nodded and placed her hand on his face, as if needing the assurance of her warmth.

“Dominus, my knight,” she smiled tenderly at him as their eyes met.

“Yes, my love. I am here, tell me anything you need,” he answered her, kissing the back of her hand once again.

“We did have a good life together, didn’t we? From high school lovers to marrying my only ex. And the gods of this world even gave us such a perfect son,” she turned to him, her eyes shining with joy as she remembered their past.

“Of course we did, we do. We will still have more years of this wonderful life we have built together,” he told her, his heart sinking as he realized even he does not believe that wholeheartedly.

Over the years the treatments have failed, they have been going in and out of the hospital. The doctor had given up on treating her and focused on managing the pain those splitting headaches and bouts of vomiting bring.

“I love you, my queen. It’s still not over yet,” he claimed her lips, wetting her dry lips with their mixed saliva as he deepened the kiss.

He let go of her and forced himself to smile, “Get well for me, queenie. We still have a whole lifetime to be together.”

She cleared her throat and looked out the window across her bed, “Can we go out, my knight?”

He nodded and held her in his arms, “Do you want your sweater, sweetheart?” he asked, kissing her forehead.

“Your warmth is enough, let me enjoy your heat,” she told him, her arms wrapping around his neck as he carried her outside their balcony.

“What a wonderful time of the year. It is the season for our harvest, isn’t it” she noted as she saw the baskets filled with freshly picked grapes.

He nodded silently, afraid if he spoke up his voice will break. He forced a painful smile on his lips as she looked at him.

“Do you think it will be as plentiful as the year we took the picture?” she inquired, her mind wandering to one of her most treasured moments.

“I think so, my queen. It might surpass the harvest. So get well soon so we can pick some grapes again,” he kissed her forehead lovingly once more.

“I am glad that it is the harvest season. Then you can enjoy the sweet grapes and earn even more of a fortune,” she smiled and pecked his cheek with a kiss, their contact making her blush.

“You still turn so red beautifully. Your eyes sparkle so much as your cheeks turned to pink then to crimson red,” he acknowledged, his eyes still ever mesmerized by her beauty.

She laughed over what she heard. She had lost her crowning glory, her nails brittle, her skin paler than a ghost, and her lips cracking dry despite all the numerous kisses they still share. Her body is as thin as an anorexic. To say she has lost all her luster will be an understatement.

“Don’t laugh at something true. You have become even more beautiful through the years, my love. In this world and in the next, there is no one more beautiful than you,” he assured her, making her heart quiver.

She wishes there was an easy way. She had long accepted her time is near. No drug can extend her life now. Even the doctors can only manage her pain remotely.

“Thank you, my knight,” she looked tenderly at her husband, loving the warmth of his body close to her.

“For what?” he inquired, looking away as he fought the emotions he felt. He didn’t like when her tone is like this. As if she was forcing him to listen to a goodbye.

“For loving me all these years. Do you know my happiest days were the ones I spent beside you?” she cupped his cheeks, her cold hands warmed up by his skin.

“We have happier days ahead. So don’t say that as if it is all in the past. I won’t let you go. I won’t let you leave me,” he insisted, dismissing her words.

“You have, you still have. With our son, Jiro. You still have a lifetime ahead of you, my knight. You have a lot of happy memories to share with each other,” she said, smiling at him so peacefully.

“Stop saying such things. I never can be happy without you,” he said, his eyes sharp as he castigated her.

“Darling, you will hurt my heart more with these words,” she corrected him.

“Then don’t say something preposterous. I can never be happy without you, you know this too,” he said, his voice harsh even to his ears.

“You will have to. You have to be happy and raise Jiro into a fine young man he ought to be,” she insisted, her fingers embedding themselves a bit into his skin.

He scowled at her which made her giggle, “You can’t scare me like that.”

“You are the one scaring me right now, with this silly talk,” he held her tighter, her small form being squeezed tightly against his chest.

“Promise to take care of our child for me,” she begged him. Afraid he would follow her after she has gone, leaving their only son alone in this world.

He kissed her forehead, he didn’t want it. Just thinking about it already made him feel unbearable pain, even death will be more preferable than living without her.

But it seemed important for her to hear him say it. He can’t deny her that. He will have to agree to anything to ease her sufferings.

“Will you wait for me, if I do what you wanted?” he asked her, his deep voice trembling from the deep-seated emotions he felt.

“I will wait for you no matter what,” she murmured, closing her eyes as a smile plastered across her face.

He smiled at her once again, “I love you always, queenie. I’ll do as you ask of me, for as long as you promise to wait. Then I shall do it.”

He carried her back to bed and hugged her tightly in his arms. She felt the drugs finally taking effect, pulling her to sleep as the pain begins to subside.

She tried to open her eyelashes and was greeted by his golden eyes. “I’ll see you again, my knight,” she whispered.

He placed her hand on his lips and kissed each of her fingers. “I’ll see you again, my queen.”

Jiro stood in the doorway, his eyes focused on his mom. The teenage boy with striking golden eyes and raven hair stood frozen in his tracks as he looked at the heartbreaking scene before him.

It took several minutes before he walked in. His father stood and placed his hand on his shoulder, leaving him with his mom.

His eyes filled with tears as the lifeless body of his mother came into his full view. He opened the palm of her hand and placed the medal that graced his neck a while ago.

He had just graduated a while ago and gave his valedictory speech as he asked someone to take a video. He brought out his phone and played the video in front of his mom.

He thanked both his parents in his speech, truly he had the best set of parents he could ever wish for. Everything he is and everything he will be, he owes all of that to his parents who have tirelessly supported him.

He just couldn’t help but wonder now, would his father be able to stand with him in this life without his most prized beloved?

He knew all along, that his father loved his mother most. She is his father’s life. Without her, he will be nothing but an empty shell, just a shadow of the man he used to be.

His father was a strong man, far stronger than the ordinary. His mind was sharp, and more powerful than anyone he ever met. But his mom has always been his weakness.

Her mother could change his father’s mood as easily as if she flicked off the lights. She is his father’s whole world. That is something even he is aware of.

He always thought about what his father would do if as now they were to lose her. His calm expression as he kissed her hand a while ago, it couldn’t escape his mind.

The fact that he didn’t shed a tear made him even more afraid of what will happen to his father. He has shoved every thought away, it seems, of the fact that his mother just died.

He climbed aboard the bed and hugged her tightly. “Mom, you shouldn’t have left. How can father survive without you?”

He felt a bit of the warmth left on her body and pretended even for a minute that she was still alive.

He didn’t want to face the reality of his mother’s death, and of what it meant for his father. That day, he knew he lost not just his beloved mother, but his father- he lost him just as well.