Chapter 166

166 v. Guilty

“Please stop,” she mumbled weakly.

She knew she should be ashamed of herself, asking him desperately for sex and at the same time backing down somehow.

He let out a growl, a frustrated one, she bet. But he let go of her hips that he has been subjecting to a sweet torture just a while ago.

“It is fine, baby,” he assured her, smiling kindly at her.

“No, it is not,” she said indignantly. She felt embarrassed of how she would ask constantly for this moment only to back out in the end.

“I want to have sex, but I’m just so scared to disappoint you. I feel like you’ll realize how ordinary I was after having sex with me. You will realize I can’t give you pleasure as much as the others probably have given you before me,” she sobbed.

He cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears, “Baby there is no one else I cherish more than you. I am sure I will not be disappointed when the time comes. I understand you are anxious, so let’s just hug. I want to feel your body next to me, so let’s just cuddle until you feel better.”

She blushed at hearing his words, most treasured. She pouted thinking about how many times he have said the same lines to different girls he has sexual relations with.

Of course it shouldn’t matter to her, they are just in a casual relationship anyway. A relationship that doesn’t come with feelings.

.....

And yet just thinking about how many times he has held different women in his arms like this already makes her lose her mind.

“Are you disappointed?” she asked him, out of the bubbling jealousy in her heart, not that she would care to admit that.

“Disappointed?” he had a confused expression on his face.

“Yes, disappointed that I came overboard and after all the times I seduced you. It appears I am still unprepared when it comes to actually having sex,” she couldn’t help but feel worried.

“I am not. This is fine, baby,” he lay beside her and hugged her from behind, his erection poking her butt.

She couldn’t help but laugh, “I can’t believe you are still so fucking hard right now.”

“As if I have any say in it. I am next to a very sexy, beautiful woman whom I can’t help being so attracted to,” he buried his face in her neck, making her sigh.

“We will be arriving at a port in a week,” though she stated it, it was more to clarify.

“Yes, love. We are going to unload some more of the cargo and get in more of the real ones. During this time, you will have to face the government authorities alone. My face is not something that’s concealed from the authorities. They have had some suspicions and seeing me onboard here will just give them a reason to search the ship extensively,” he frowned.

He couldn’t help but feel concerned. That was why he didn’t want her joining them when they are transporting illegal cargo.

What’s worse is, he couldn’t even be there for her to accept the fall in case things get complicated. If the authorities were to find any of the real shipments, she might be incarcerated.

True they could get her out of the prison but for her to go through all of that and spend even a minute in jail is already too much.

She didn’t deserve it. Because in this ship she is the only one who actually did not belong to the mafia.

Like a puppet being used by her own father, and driven by her desire for his right-hand man, she is here being used to do something that’s very illegal. He held her tightly in his arms.

“It is still not too late to back out. We will just encounter a bit of delay but it can still be done. I can bring you back home and escort you safely,” he said, his words were firm and serious.

He knew he will run into trouble with their leader. But he didn’t care about punishments or even demotion.

He doesn’t care about all of it as much as he does care for her. The reason he joined the mafia may have been for his own selfish motives of gaining power and fortune.

But the moment their eyes met... she became his very reason to live. He knew that now.

He could deny it to himself over and over. He could pretend that this girl is nothing to him but just something he wanted to play with. Just something that caught his attention.

But he knew it wouldn’t be the truth. The more he spends his time with her, the more he realizes that he has fallen in love with her even way before.

He would do anything for her, risk anything for her. In this world and in the next, he will always be hers.

She shook her head and smiled, “You’ll run into trouble, won’t you?”

“I don’t care,” he said truthfully. “He never should have allowed you to join. You are his only child.”

“But the yakuza has been under fire lately. Some of our leaders are being investigated. If we don’t do this, there will be no movement from the yakuza. Our brothers need us to give the armaments, and we also need to trade. My father asked this from me, not as a father, but as the group’s chairman. He is the leader of the household, is he not?” she turned and kissed his forehead.

“How can you be so understanding of the situation? I don’t like this. For the first time in my life, I don’t care anymore about the hierarchy. I don’t want to put you at risk. So tell me to turn around and bring you home,” he begged her.

“No, I have made up my mind about this. I am also doing this because I don’t want to be separated from you, remember?” she inched closer, just because she suddenly felt chilly from the way he was staring at her.

“Nonsense, I’ll return to your side so that argument was invalid from the start. No matter what happens, I will always return to you,” his golden eyes bored through hers, making her knees feel even weaker.

“Shut up. Please, shut up. Don’t make me feel,” she couldn’t even say the words because she felt like she would be assuming too much.

“Makes you feel like what?” his gaze didn’t waver, trapping her, making her feel emotions she knew she shouldn’t.

“Stop making me feel treasured,” she whispered.

He held her by her shoulders and pinned her down again, “Then what do you want from me? If even that I shouldn’t be allowed to make you feel?”

“Please, you are hurting me,” she complained.

“And you are hurting me even more. What do you want from me? At least be reasonable. You want me to share your bed and not even care for you at all? Are you a whore for you to wish something like that?” he wasn’t shouting but the way he said the words are even more hurtful than if he raised his voice.

“I am a whore. I am willing to share my body with just anyone. You just happened to be in my way so I asked you first. I have no intention of being in a relationship or having feelings between us. All I want is,” he claimed her lips before she could continue.

He thrust his tongue inside and she felt him sucking on her tongue, her arms flailing at her sides, wanting nothing more but to breathe in some air.

He let go of her lips and did just that, “You always bring out the worse in me. And yet I couldn’t even take a step away from you.”

“Why don’t you just go? If you can’t do this thing, I’ll just go and look for someone else to do this,” she hissed.

“There will be no need for that,” his gaze made her feel hot.

As if her body is on fire and all she could do is wish for more of the flames. She is foolish. She knows.

“If you want to be reduced to nothing else but a whore. I’ll do that. I’ll treat you like the fucking whore you are,” he said, his deep voice resonating in her ears.

He opened her legs, and looked at her with hatred and need, “I’ll make you my own fucking whore, queenie. I’ll get all the fun I need without needing to exert any effort. Don’t you dare regret that.”

She didn’t know or understand why his words did not scare her. To be honest it turned her on even more.

There must be something wrong with her for she found herself answering him back, “I am your fucking whore, master. Please use me as you want. I want you inside of me. I want your seeds spilling inside my core.”

His eyes glinted with madness before he smiled at her, “You don’t dictate on me, whore. Your voice irritates me so you should just fucking shut up.”

She felt her body tighten as he leaned closer, pinning her on the mattress, “Don’t you dare regret this, slut. I wanted to give you the world. But this is what you wanted. I’ll use you until all the bones in your body feel useless. I’ll mold you into being my perfect little cunt.”

She moaned in pleasure as he tightened the belt on her neck. She loved the madness in his eyes and she liked that she caused that.