Chapter 1377 Icky Feelings

Chapter 1377 Icky Feelings　　Nikolai couldn’t retort at what the remnant said.

While comatose, he experienced a lot of disjointed dreams. One of the several scenarios included in the series of dreams was that he died after setting off for his revenge. The revenge eventually failed but he still left Long Jinjing widowed and their sons orphaned.

In that tragic dream, Long Jinjing became too heartbroken and depressed that she neglected their children. She became too focused on her career and transformed into an unemotional iron lady. Their twin sons grew up without proper parental guidance and ended up turning into problem children. They became wastrels that even their Aunt Xiulan and Uncle Liwei couldn’t save. 

Nikolai did everything. He scolded and shouted at them but they couldn’t hear him because he already died. He had no power to interfere in their lives. He wanted to fix everything but could only watch in helplessness as they wasted their lives away.

This was just one of the dreams—no, nightmares that he had while comatose. There were other more tragic ones that he preferred not to recall or risk going insane.

Not once did he dream of something positive.

He truly felt that he had died that time and went to hell.

Experiencing all those seemingly never-ending tragic scenarios was the worst form of torture. Yes, it was the worst even when compared to the inhumane torture he faced after the downfall of the Vetrovs.

In his past life, he lost his beloved sister. It was excruciating.

Then in his nightmares while comatose, he had to face losing the family he built in his current life as Lu Zihao. Watching his sweet wife turn into an unemotional robot and their sons into hopeless wastrels was a whole new level of excruciating torture.

Especially when it came to his children—he couldn’t bear it.

Now that the remnant was lecturing him without mercy, he no longer had the energy to argue. He could only take it.

’It’s good that you’re starting to realize the error of your ways. Even if you don’t care about yourself, at least think about your family—our family. If only I wasn’t so reckless back then, maybe I would still be alive today and be able to build my own family and accompany my grandpa for longer. I’m envious of you, dude, don’t you know? That’s why I’m so furious that you don’t treasure what you have and just continue speeding towards your demise. Atrocious! Hmph!’

Nikolai rubbed his head and stayed quiet. He still hadn’t completely given up his desire for revenge, but after experiencing his latest coma, he realized that maybe his sister was right after all. Perhaps there were other ways to fulfill his revenge without resulting in his own death in the end. 

’Now let’s talk about your wifey,’ the remnant said next.

Nikolai paused.

’You love Jinjing, dude. Be a man and just admit it!’

”Maybe,” he murmured.

His attitude was neither denying nor confirming. 

The remnant scoffed inside his mind. ‘Aren’t you a real macho man? Why are you acting like a scared chicken whenever love is involved? Pft! So funny!’

His expression turned even darker. “None of your damn business.”

’Of course, it’s also my damn business! Your wifey is the mother of my body’s children! There’s no way that I’ll just ignore your relationship with the woman. The two of you are already married, for fuck’s sake! Dude, you’ve been in love with Miss Prim and Proper for a while now but you just won’t admit it.’

The remnant’s words were annoying but they still hit him like a bulldozer. He didn’t know how to react. 

’Can you feel the love tonight?

Tonight~

It has been here all along~

It’s not enough for this blind ass Nikolai~

That he is in denial~

Oh, can you feel the love tonight?

Tonight~

His ass is on denial~

It’s enough to admit that he fell in love~

Believe the very best~

Advice from the love guru~

Yours truly,

Luuuu Ziiiihaaaaaoooooooooooo~’

The fucking song made another comeback. Nikolai’s expression couldn’t be painted anymore. It looked like a constipated devil who was forced to eat a rotten durian dipped in a feces salsa yet had lost the ability to spit out whatever was inside his mouth.

Fortunately, the remnant still had a sliver of mercy. It sang the horrible song just once and didn’t repeat it like a broken record.

’Dude, I just thought of something.’

”What is it?”

’Remember what my third brother said that angered you into waking up from coma? Hahaha! I laugh whenever I remember it. Third Brother Liwei is the best! Bahahaha! Anyway, I was thinking, what if he is right? He might have said those words as a joke but think about it for a second. Everything he said is possible.

’What if one of these men—Alric Bauer, Amanpio Kileksky, René Alejandro or any other men for that matter—manage to woo your wifey? It’s possible, you know. She might give up on you one day if you take too long to admit that you love her, too. Not everyone can be a devoted martyr for an entire lifetime, you know.’

Nikolai didn’t hesitate to say, “Impossible. I won’t allow it! Jinjing is mine!”

’Blah blah blah! Possessive cavemen mentality is so out of trend. If you won’t allow your wifey to be with another man, then it’s not enough to stake your claim with an official marriage and children. There’s divorce and custody arrangements for that. If you really want to keep her by your side for the rest of your life, then you have to do your part in keeping her happy and emotionally invested in your relationship as lovers. 

’If you continue being stubborn, then you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself when she leaves you with our children. Hmph! I will never forgive you if our children acknowledges another man as their new father and even change their last names from Lu! Grandpa will be heartbroken if his great-grandbabies become another family’s children. So stop being a dumbo and just open up to your real feelings once and for all!’

The lecture continued and started to wear out Nikolai, yet he didn’t complain. This time, he seriously thought about what the remnant said.

After his most recent coma, he realized that the original Lu Zihao’s remnant wasn’t his enemy. It might have felt that way for the longest time because Nikolai hated the idea of sharing his body and everything else with another entity that he couldn’t drive out of his system no matter how much he tried. 

The remnant only wanted what was best for him. This was what Nikolai learned after so many challenging battles between the two of them. He no longer doubted that the remnant had become strong enough to kick him out of his body but it still continued to allow him to stay. This was so that he could continue living as Lu Zihao and accompany all of the original’s loved ones and also the little family that he, Nikolai, had built using this identity. 

He understood what the remnant wanted, and that if he failed to obey, his right to stay in this body would be terminated.

Sighing, he stared at the white ceiling and thought about Long Jinjing. Their sons too, of course.

It was safe to say that these three people had now occupied the biggest part of his heart previously occupied by his sister alone. Evelinka was still extremely important to him, but after the birth of his children, he realized that his sister’s place in his heart had been bumped down a level or two.

As the mother of his children, Long Jinjing’s importance in his heart also rose. Even when he didn’t think that he loved the woman, she was still someone he cared about and wanted to protect. 

But now…after hearing Bacon’s audio recording where he clearly heard his own voice telling Long Jinjing that he loved her and listening to the remnant’s harsh lecture, he realized that maybe he had underestimated his wife’s place in his heart.

Something inside him felt like it dropped.

When he recovered, he rushed out of his hospital room. 

’Hey! Where are you going? We still have a medical exam scheduled later! Oy! Crazy Nikolai, listen to me!’

The remnant continued yelling inside his mind but he ignored it.

’Eh? What are these…icky feelings flooding all over me? These aren’t mine! Oof! Okay, I get it. Ohoho. Good luck, bro!’

Nikolai—no, right now, everyone who saw him believed that he was Lu Zihao.

”Boss Hao! Good to see that you’re fine now!”

”Boss Hao! Osu!”

”Mr. Lu, please slow down.”

He ignored his subordinates and the household staff as he hurried along the hallways like the wind.

Being comatose took a toll on him. He was out of breath when he finally reached the destination—the nursery.

”Ni—Zihao?” Long Jinjing was startled to see him.

It wasn’t only her. Iris, Jin Liwei and the nannies were also inside. They all looked at him in surprise.

Long Jinjing handed Little Dima to a nanny and went to her husband. She was concerned about his winded appearance which was a rare sight. “What happened? Why did you come here? Are you okay?”

Lu Zihao didn’t reply. He just grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace by the doorway.

”Zihao?” She wrapped her arms around him and felt the sweat soaking the back of his shirt. 

Next, he held her chin and tilted it up, making her look at him in the eyes.

”Jinjing,” he said.

”Yes?” She was very confused at his behaviour.

”I love you.”