Chapter 88: The Flossie Show

Chapter 88: The Flossie Show

Flossie walked across the room like she was in a trance. She seemed to know where she was going, though. We all watched her, curious to see what had possessed her to walk away from the security of our little group.

She made a beeline for the young man playing the lute. She stopped in front of him, her head bobbing along to the terrible hey nonny nonny tune he was plucking. New novel chapters are published on

The guy smiled at her and carried on.

He threw a couple of curious looks her way as she continued to stand right in front of him.

He hit a couple of bum notes, starting to get nervous about the weird girl eyeballing him from two feet away. Hed probably never had a groupie before.

But it turned out Flossie had something other than getting his autograph in mind. When he finally came to the end of his jaunty little ditty, she moved in closer and started speaking with him. Or at him. She was very animated; he was very frightened.

He looked confused at first, but after a bit he began nodding. And then he shrugged a reluctant acquiescence.

Flossie turned around and faced the room. Most of the men were more interested in what was in their mugs to be too concerned with what was going on in the corner. Flossie cleared her throat and began singing True Colours by Cyndi Lauper.

It was acapella at first, and then the lute guy joined in. He was trying to copy the refrain and struggling a bit, but he eventually locked into the melody, or a simplified version of it, and his accompaniment became more confident.

Flossies soft, clear voice found its way through the noise and the men in the room slowly transformed from a disparate group of drinkers into an audience. The noise subsided and then died out altogether so only Flossies voice and the pling-pling-pling of the lute could be heard.

The end of the song was met with silence. Not in a negative way, just slightly confused. A few people started clapping, but Flossie didnt take a bow or say thanks, she started stamping her foot, and clapping herself.

Stamp, stamp, clap. Stamp, stamp, clap.

It was such a catchy beat, the men joined in. And Flossie began singing over the top.

Buddy youre a boy

Make a big noise

Playin in the street

Gonna be a big man some day

You got mud on your face

You big disgrace

Kicking your can all over the place

Singing...

She soon had them singing along. And she didnt stop there. She went from Queen to Abba to Oasis. The men got up from their seats and formed a little mosh pit in front of her and her lead guitarist. It seemed her moment in the spotlight with the trolls had given Flossie a taste for show business. The shy little pixie was a born performer.

We all watched this transformation somewhat stunned. Claire and Jenny got up and squeezed their way to the front row. The crowd opened up to let them pass, probably because no one wanted to stand in front of penis-stabby girl.

Maurice and I exchanged a WTF look, but remained where we were. The small crowd was fairly raucous but Flossie seemed to be in control. At the end of each song, she calmed them down with a few words before launching into the next one.

The person most baffled by the whole thing, though, was Dudley. He went from mildly bemused to delighted to somewhat downcast. While Flossie became the centre of attention, he became the forgotten man.

You alright there, Dud? I said over the thunderous applause for Flossies version of Living On A Prayer.

Absolutely. Shes, er, really popular, isnt she?

Claire jumped to her feet and started to go after her but she stopped and turned to me. Was that really necessary?

Yes, I said. Better now than when shes gotten too big for her boots.

I hope someones there to do the same for you one day. Claire turned and ran off, the men in her way scattering much quicker than they did for Flossie.

I hope so too, I said. And I meant it.

Maurice stood up. I better and he headed off after Claire.

I remained seated.

You not going to go, too? asked Jenny.

Might give it a few minutes, I said.

We sat there in silence. I didnt fancy going back to the inn any time soon. Either thered be shouting and crying, or shouting and shagging. Either way, it would be hard to get any sleep.

Ill do it, said Jenny.

Do what? I asked.

If you get too big for your boots, Ill bring you back down to earth.

Okay. Thanks. I wasnt sure how she thought shed do it, but I appreciated the thought.

The crowd had started to thin out and people were returning to their seats.

Maybe we should I started to say. Jenny put a hand on my arm and leaned in closer.

See that army guy over there? She pointed her chin at the recruiter who had earned Claires anger earlier.

Yeah? He was going around to different tables, laughing and joking.

Every time he talks to someone, he takes that small pouch on his belt and pours something into their beer.

I watched him and she was right. He was subtle about it and careful to distract the victim, but he was definitely putting something in their drinks. And it wasnt just one or two people, he was doing it to everyone.

If its some kind of date-rape drug, I said, he must have a hell of a sexual appetite.

I think its more likely a way to pressgang them into the army, said Jenny. Easier to grab them if they leave here totally out of it.

She had a point. There was a good chance theyd wake up with a terrible headache and a nice, new uniform.

We continued to watch him as he made sure to socialise with everyone. The pub was still quite packed thanks to Flossies performance. Corporal Ween eventually finished his rounds and left. He received a warm send off from his many drinking buddies. If only they knew the truth.

We should say something, whispered Jenny.

No, we shouldnt. Its got nothing to do with us. Lets just leave them to it.

Jenny nodded. Then she stood up, climbed onto the table and said Hey, everyone, over here. I have something to tell you.

What are you doing? I had a horrible feeling the whole time Id been checking for trouble over my shoulder, doing everything I could to stay out of its reach, it had been sitting next to me all along.