Chapter 151: Revolution Road

Chapter 151: Revolution Road

This is the man who will bring us the paradise we all dream of. Dorma stretched out his hand to indicate the person behind him.

I was also standing behind him. If I stepped forward, it would look like he meant me. I could draw everyones attention while Claire and Maurice snuck into the mansion. Everyone would think I was some kind of idiot (again), but I could do it.

I could, but I wasnt going to. What am I, a fucking idiot?

Jenny nudged me in the back. I arched my shoulder blades to absorb the shove without moving.

Commander Varg! Dorma introduced Varg to the crowd who broke into wild cheers. Varg stepped forward, arms raised.

You could have done it then, said Claire under her breath as she applauded politely.

Yeah, added Maurice, also clapping. For some reason they felt the need to act like they were supporting Vargs appointment, even though it had nothing to do with us.

People of Meet, boomed Varg, war is come! Cheers. The fight for our freedom begins! More cheering. I promise you this

Cheers, vague claims of imminent triumph, heartfelt gratitude towards those who would give their lives for the cause, blah, blah, jubilant blah.

Maurice leaned closer to me. We need to get that manual.

Why? I asked. You already know how to fly the flappy-box, right? Its like those remote control helicopters you had at home.

Maurices did a hard blink, making his glasses slip down his nose. He pushed them back up. Its more than that. He reached round my back and poked Claire.

Its not just the box, she said. Its for all their magic. If we get hold of it, well know how their magic works.

Ill admit, it was a reasonable suggestion. Phil had the device that stopped time but getting hold of it wouldnt mean wed know how to operate it. And there were any number of other magical artefacts we might come across. As a young male, reading a manual was, of course, anathema to mejust plug it in and lets see what it does!but in this case I might have made an exception.Follow current novels at novelhall.com)

However, there was one slight problem.

Im not going to cause a distraction or be your decoy, and neither of you are going anywhere, I said as Varg raised his fist to unadulterated enthusiasm for whatever bullshit he had just announced to the crowd.

Why not? hissed Claire. You dont think we can handle it?

No, I dont, but thats not the reason. What language do you think the books written in?

They both leaned forward and exchanged a look across me; a look clearly indicating they hadnt considered this.

Were on a different world, I said. Think how long it took us to learn the last language, and that was after we were gifted a Rosetta Stone. Technically it was a childrens learn-to-read book, but Rosetta Stone made it sound less dorky. Wed have to steal the book, learn to read, make sense of what the book said, and then try it out the fighting would be long over and wed all be Yuqis puppets by then.

Neither of them said anything. Dorma retook the podium and began another round of Queen at Live Aid. We listened to him fire up the crowd with calls for unity, a demand for the end of tyranny, and a chorus of We Will Rock You. Not that I was paying much attention. At least Claire and Maurice had realised they werent quite as smart as theyd thought. A perfect time to put the boot in.

Next time you have a bright idea that involves me, I said out of the side of my mouth, take a deep breath, count to ten, and then please go fuck yourselves.

There was no response, which was unusual for Claire. Id expect at least some grinding of teeth. I glanced across. There was a tear running down her face.

At first I thought she was using the old female trick of getting upset when you say something horribleso underhandedbut then I realised she wasnt even looking at me. Her gaze was fixed on the back of Dormas head.

What?

These people had died so many times they thought they would live forever. Other people might be sacrificed, but not them. They deserved to come out the other side with a bright future ahead of them because life is fair and the righteous would prevail. Sure, all the evidence pointed to the opposite being true, but this time, this time it would be different!

What these people needed was a slap in the face.

Nobodys asking you to fight, I said. Theyre asking you to die. And not those little naps you take, Im talking about proper death you wont wake up from. Ever. You think you know what it is to die? You have no idea. Ive seen things you people wouldnt believe.

I dont believe you, called out a solitary voice from somewhere at the back.

I ignored the heckler. Ive been attacked by fish in the clouds over Dalada. Ive seen sea monsters glittering in the dark near the bottom of the ocean. And Ive watched war golems rip men apart until all that was left was a smear. Ive seen weretics tear off human heads and eat them like grapes. Ive smelled the burning skin of the Jesters victims as they were cooked alive. I was taking some poetic licence but the effect on the crowd was more than worth a little stretching of the truth. They nervously looked around, muttering doubts to each other. Those are the deaths you can look forward to. If you charge into the Palace of Laughter, your lives will be lost forever like tears in rain. Is now really the time for you to die?

More muttering, still no reaction indicating they understood what I was telling them.

I asked you a question. Do you want to die?

I waited. There was a long pause and then the same voice at the back came drifting over the heads of the crowd. No, not really.

Okay. Good. Heres what I want you to do. What we need is a distraction, and while a massacre is very distracting, another way to make sure the masters attention is on you instead of us is for you to hold a massive party.

Nobody said anything. The general atmosphere was one of, Go on

Just the wildest, craziest, noisiest party throughout the whole city. Music, dancing, as loud as you can. The masters will send war golems to investigate, but you arent doing anything wrong, so dance the night away. General Dorma will take care of the rest, assisted as always by Commander Varg. They will take all the risks, all the danger. You guys just keep throwing those shapes.

It was, admittedly, a stupid plan. Stupid like a fox. If it didnt pan out and the whole thing turned into a disaster, at least theyd had a party.

Slowly, people began looking around, lifting an eyebrow, shrugging a shoulder. If it was an important part of the plan, would it be so terrible? No harm in trying...

Someone grabbed me by the collar and I was violently yanked away from the podium.

Plans are still being finalised, shouted Dorma with such ferocity, the first three rows were startled backwards and sent a ripple of jostling into the ranks behind them. You will be informed of your roles over the next two days. Be well. He spun on his heels, his eyes rolling and his nostrils flared. He nodded at Varg, who had me firmly in his clutches, and marched back into the mansion.

The guards hurried to catch up and surround him. I was lifted up by the armpit and danced along on tiptoe, which isnt a very comfortable way to travel. We were swept along with the entourage of baffled dignitaries and nobles.

Everyone seemed to have somewhere to go as soon as the large doors closed behind us. We were kept moving until we entered a grand room where Dorma was already seated behind a large desk. He had his elbows on the table with hands together, fingertips touching in Bond-villain repose. David stood beside him, face covered, not looking in my direction.

Varg released me from his vice-like grip and gave me a disapproving shake of the head, his other hand was on the pommel of his giant broadsword. The soldiers all left and the door clicked shut.

What do you think youre doing? Dorma asked in a very quiet, very terse voice. It was a bit like Clint Eastwood asking for your opinion on the bullet capacity of .44 magnum.

Which part are you referring to? I asked.

Dorma stood up. Which part? He was shaking, scalp downwards. All of it? Why did you tell them to hold a party?

Oh that wasnt my idea, I said. I was just following orders from you know who.

This was my fallback position. Claim it was the Jesters idea, nothing to do with me. What were they going to do? Call me a liar?

Dorma sat down and opened a drawer in his desk, his piercing blue eyes remaining fixed on me the whole time. He took out a small, wooden cube, intricately carved with swirling grooves. He flipped open the top.

Oh, Colin, said a voice, so deep and guttural the little box trembled, I just dont know what Im going to do with you first.