Chapter 175: The Long Way Home

Chapter 175: The Long Way Home

For someone who goes to such great lengths to avoid danger, committing honourable Subaru might seem a little out of character.

Just as Claire had suggested, only losing one of our group was a more than reasonable price to pay for surviving a very unpromising situation. Count yourself lucky and move on with your life, would be my advice if someone had asked for it.

And yet, I didnt like it. Claire had almost known things were going to end up like this, she even gave me the long goodbye. It was like she was doing me a favour. It rankled.

Theres something about getting an unwanted gift and then being expected to be thankful that has never sat right with me. Imagine if you left someone house-sitting while you went on holiday, and when you came back, they had redecorated as a surprise.

They didnt ask you, and the new look was their taste, not yours. Would you thank them?

When they got upset at your lack of gratitude for what had taken them a great deal of effort (the mirrored ceiling in your now black and red bedroom wasnt easy to install) would you assure them you were hugely appreciative of their wonderful unasked for gift?

No, of course not. Its a massively presumptuous and inconsiderate thing to do. If you want to buy me a shitty jumper for Christmas, thats fine. Ill pretend to like it. But if you take the money out of my wallet to buy me that jumper, fuck you. That isnt a present, thats taking the piss.

Taking control away from someone is a power move, even when its done unconsciously. The gift theyre really giving you is the gift of feeling obligated.

I didnt doubt Claires intention to do the right thing, but its no coincidence they pave the road to Hell with those things.

My death was quick if not entirely painless. At some point, I hope to be able to take an injury without bursting into tears, but then again, I dont necessarily want to experience so much pain I get used to it. Thats a lot of nipple clamps.

A sharp twinge burst into an explosive bloom of agony. A spasm wracked my body, and I heard a scream that seemed very far away, but recognisably in my voice. Then darkness.

I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by more darkness, except here I could see myself when I looked down. Dressed the same but no signs of cuts or gaping wound. In my hand was a glowing sword.

If Jenny had stuck that in my hand before I died, she must have moved very quickly. It was almost as though she knew what Id do before I did. But that was very unlikely, I told myself.

I looked around. Not much to see. No exit.

The other problem with my time travelling escapades was Checkpoint Yuqi. Before I could get back to the past, I had to deal with the gatekeeper. And she probably wasnt going to be happy to see me.

Hey! I called into the endless void. Can we get this over with? I have things to do and only an infinite amount of time to do them in.

Why are you here? whispered the non-existent wind. All alone, without your girlfriend to save you Shame. I was looking forward to a rematch. You, Ive already beaten, and beaten, and beaten.

Why is it people always assume if you have a strong girlfriend you must be the weakling? I have my strengths. Probably.

Open a door to the past, Yuqi. I know what to do, now.

No. Yuqis disembodied voice swirled around me. We had won. We had won, you piece of filthy excrement. And now you want to do it all again. No. No. Nooooo.

Yeah, but dont you want the good ending.

That was the good ending! screamed Yuqi. A flicker of blue electricity crackled to my right. You think you can save everyone? Naked girls at your feet, clinging to your thigh, is that what you were hoping for, Colin? Thats not how this works. You arent repeating the same loop over and over. Dont you understand? Only you get to relive the past. Everyone else is left to complete their own timeline. You just left them to their fate.

Youre lying, I said, although I didnt sound very convincing.

This was something I had already considered, although Id tried very hard not to. What if jumping back in time didnt make the universe stop and rewind, what if it I just jumped into a parallel universe and started a new one?

I could have left Jenny alone with both me and Claire dead. That Jennys life would go on while I restarted my life with another Jenny in another universe.

Which brings up an even more pressing issue. Is it considered cheating if you fuck the same girl over and over in different parallel dimensions, or is it incredibly romantic? Only Stephen Hawking knows for sure, I guess.

Like I said, I had considered it, and had decided it couldnt be true. Partly because it was so uncomfortable to think I was simply abandoning the others every time I went back, but mainly because there was one constant in each time loop other than me.

If there were multiple timelines, how come theres only one you? I said to Yuqi.

There was no reply from the void.

You said someone betrayed you, but how did they do it? Even if someone told the masters you could go back in time, how would they be able to do anything about? They cant travel back. They cant tell their past selves to wait for you on the mountain range where youll appear and capture you.

What are you saying? hissed Yuqi from behind me somewhere.

Im saying it had to be someone that could travel back, like you could. Like I can. We have the power, so could someone else. Maybe the person who gave us this ability.The source of this content nov(el)bi((n))

No, said Yuqi. He isnt here.

The gap in logic comes from the limitations of our puny brains. The same reason we cant visualise infinity, or grasp what could have existed before the big bang, or understand what God is. The architecture of our minds cant sustain the concepts, even though we can recognise they exist.

It didnt really bother me. As long as Claire could give me a cheat sheet on how to sort things out so I ended up with my own castle, Id be happy to go with the flow.

You told me this would happen one day, that youd visit me on these castle walls. She stepped closer. God, you look so young. She reached out a hand towards my face.

I flinched backwards. Easy, tiger. I already have a girlfriend. I do still have one, right?

Claire laughed. Sure. You think you could time travel your way out of her clutches?

That made me smile. I didnt know if this was real, or only a possible futuremy knowledge of time travel from books and movies suggested all sorts of possibilitiesbut it was nice to think there was a good ending out there, if I could find my way to it.

So we all died, did we? asked Claire. Thats why you went back that last time?

I was glad to hear this would be my last time. Dont you know?

No. You always refused to talk about it.

Really? I would have thought Id milk it for all it was worth.

She laughed again. There was none of her usual uptightness. You changed after that. A little. We tried to get you to tell us the full story, but you were adamant. She narrowed her eyes and stared at something above my eyes. After a few seconds I realised she was trying to read me.

Still cant get through that wall.

What wall? I asked.

I cant read your mind because you wont let me. Youre the only person whos ever been able to do that. I bet theres a lot of interesting stuff back there.

It was my turn to smile. Interesting. Yeah. Not the word Id use. So, are you going to tell me what I need to do?

She shook her head. You made me promise not to.

Why would I do that?

She shrugged. Im just following orders.

Im sure I had my reasons, but still, what a dick I am. Can I have a clue?

When have you ever listened to anything Ive had to say? She said it with no animosity; she was being playful. Id never seen her like this. The irony of her words made me laugh. Ignoring her was what had brought me here.

I looked over the battlements. There was a courtyard below. People and small fires; voices and laughter drifted up. I guess knowing this is possible is enough. I just hope I can find my way here.

Well wait for you, said Claire. Always.

The sword in my hand began to glow. Caire seemed to become less tangible, although maybe it was me who was fading. She raised a hand to wave goodbye. She looked so happy.

Was it a dream? A delusion? It was hard to tell. It didnt really matter.

I closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them, I was surrounded by glowing doors. One of them had to be the right one.

I stepped forward and lurched like that last step you thought was there but wasnt. I staggered and landed on my backside. I was on a beach, a familiar one. Nekromel. This is where Wyndam had dropped us off, but I was alone and not wet. What was more surprising though was the sky. It wasnt a white sheet, it was blue. Or at least bluish-purple.

I stood up and looked around. Nothing else seemed out of place until I climbed over the rise. Instead of flat scrubland, there were acres of wheat and corn. Dotted around, I saw people working the fields.

This was definitely a different Nekromel to the one I had known. I didnt know what I was doing here or where I was supposed to go, so I set off for the only place I knew of and hoped it was still there.

It took a couple of hours to get to the shack. I knocked on the door and a young man I didnt recognise answered. Yes?

I didnt know what to say. Does Loran live here?

The young man who was around my age, although bigger and tougher (which pretty much sums up everyone my age) looked at me strangely, then he turned and shouted, Loran, someone for you.

A teenage boy came running to the door. He stopped when he saw me, confused.

It was definitely Loran, but he was a kid. I was in the past. Way, way in the past.