Chapter 192: Mr Sabotage

Chapter 192: Mr Sabotage

I know what youre thinking, said Sonny, but it wont work, mate. You wont be able to stop me.

That wasnt what I was thinking. My only thought was how to get out of the hole I was in, literally and figuratively. If the tunnels they were digging were near the surface, that would mean Id be near the surface. Hopefully soon to be on the surface and then moving very quickly across the surface.

Stop you? I dont have to stop you. Your plan isnt going to work.

Sonny frowned as I informed him of my opinion. You dont even know what my plan is.

I dont have to know, I said very confidently. I just have to look around. These men arent going to start a revolution. Theyre knackered. Even if you did manage to cause enough damage, kill enough people, then what? Whos going to be in charge? You?

The Ocean Man would make a fine King, said Schneed. He was standing next to me, watching us argue.

Thank you, Schneed, said Sonny. I appreciate that, mate.

These people were the worst terrorists ever. Polite, supportive, complimentary. They did all have beards, but you needed more than that. Matching outfits would have been a good place to start.

Sonny lifted his sunglasses and rested them on top of his head. He gave me a disappointed look. Thats what I hate about you, Colin. Always assuming the worst about people and then acting like theyre the problem. Always so sure youre right. Well not today, mate.

He did have a point. My only recourse in this world had been to act first so as not to give the other side the initiative. Which meant guessing blindly. Luckily or otherwise, most of the time Id assumed someone was a dick, they were. Sonny was a case in point. But I also got it wrong sometimes, with disastrous consequences. Peoplehumans and monsterswere dead because of my guesses.

Having said that, I was still willing to bet Sonny was a massive douchebag and his plan was idiotic.

I think youre forgetting how we first met, Sonny. I assumed you were a dick, and I seem to recall everyone ending up agreeing with me.

Sonny spread his arms wide. And where is everyone? I dont see anyone backing you up now.

He had me there. No one in my corner anymore. The loss of my party did give me a twinge of emotion but since I rarely experienced them I couldnt say what emotion it was. It may have been indigestion.

It doesnt matter where they are. I hope theyre happy and doing well. I did not hope they were happy and there was no way they were doing well. This isnt about them. This is about you trying to kill people because youre upset.

They broke my surfboard, he screamed. He really had a thing for his board.

Our steadily rising voices had been heard across the cavern and men were starting to gather around us. I needed to find a way out of this but could only seem to stumble in deeper.

It still doesnt make it okay to kill people. Not that itll make any difference in the long run. Your doomsday machine might destroy a couple of buildings, ruin a garden or two, so what? Life will go on. They dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and people are still living there.

Sonny was shaking his head the whole time I was speaking. There you go again. Talking complete and utter shit. Those A-bombs were nothing compared to what Ive got lined up. You know how many people are living in Chernobyl? Zero. Thats more like what you should expect. You know why? He paused like he wanted an answer. I didnt say anything, but I did want to know where he was going with this. You know what I was studying at uni before I got dragged to this fake paradise? Geology and geophysics. I didnt get to finish my studies, but I learned a thing or two. Enough to know what that smell means.

He waves his hand about to indicate the air around us. The smell of sulphur was still there, although after the first few hours in its presence it had diminished to a faint whiff.

You think Requbar will still be standing proud after Im done with it? He smiled. Come with me. I want to show you my doomsday machine. He turned and walked off. Come on. He was heading for the rock wall with the ladders.

The crowd followed him and swept me along with them. I would have gone anywayit wasnt like I had any pressing engagements to attend tobut they didnt leave me any choice.

When we got to the ladders, Sonny immediately began climbing. The ladders were wooden and looked like nailed together bits of driftwood. There was nothing sturdy about them, but I started climbing after him. The other men either followed behind me or used one of the other ladders. We were all going on this big outing, with Ocean Man as our tour guide. There was quite a buzz of excitement.

Halfway up the ladder it got very dark. The light from below didnt reach up this high and it was a little scary not knowing where the next rung was. With so many men on the ladder with me, it creaked and swayed an unsettling amount. Creating some light wasnt an option so I kept going, hoping nothing horrible was waiting for me.

I say halfway up, but it turned out I was closer to the top than I thought. A flat ledge marked the end of my climb and I gratefully crawled up and over onto solid ground.

I couldnt say for certain, but I suspected the geas changed how she looked but not how she felt.

Theres no beard. I cant feel a beard, Sonny roared triumphantly. The men were a bit confused. Marv looked scared and struggled to get free but that only caused more to step forward and grab onto her.

Sonnys hand slid down to Marvs chest. His eyes widened. Breasts! Shes a girl! He grinned madly, the vindication of his suspicions driving his lips into the far reaches of his face.

The men gasped in shock. They were being a bit presumptuous, I felt. There were plenty of guys among them who could have fit into a C cup.

Oh no! wailed Schneed, even more distraught. I brought in a girl. I didnt know, I didnt know. She had a beard!

Not a beard, exclaimed Sonny. An illusion. The men looked at each other, confused. Magic! said Sonny and understanding flooded into their faces, followed by panic.

Marv almost got free as the men holding her reeled back in disgust, but Sonny grabbed her by the front of her shirt. Dont let go of the witch, shouted Sonny and they reconfirmed their grip.

It was uncomfortable to watch. To be fair, she had tried to kill Sonny, so she couldnt really complain about her treatment. Under the universal law of You started it! you can excuse a lot of horrible acts that arent justified but which you can certainly get away with. Trying to push someone into a giant vat of molten acid would come high on that list.

Lets see if youre all woman. Sonnys hand began to slide lower.

The problem was, deep down, Im sexist. Whether I was born that way or a product of my environment, I believe women should be treated differently to men. Not in all things, but certainly in some. It isnt a popular view, especially when said out loud in public, but the instinct is hard to deny. Which isnt always a bad thing. Sometimes sexism can be beneficial to women.

Sonnys hand turned so the fingers pointing up were now pointing down. They continued their downward trajectory.

Stop! All eyes turned to me. Partly because I had shouted, and partly because my hands were on fire. This is starting to get a bit creepy, Sonny.

Ill admit I was jumping to conclusions. I didnt know what Sonny planned to do with her, I was just assuming the worst. And rightly so, as far as I was concerned.

It was a night of surprises for the men. Although it could have have been afternoon for all I knew. They began slowly chanting, Wizzo! Wizzo! which was either what they called wizards or a new fizzy soft drink they were promoting.

It wasnt a friendly chant, by the way. Not a, Hey, its our friend Wizzo, yay! more of a Kill the wizzo, piss on his corpse, type of chant.

Let her go, Sonny.

Sonny stared at me. Did you know, Colin? Were you working with her to kill me?

I didnt say anything. I hadnt really thought my actions through, just reacted with my usual lack of common sense.

Where will you go, Colin? How can you fight us all?

He was right. What was I doing playing hero? To save a girl I didnt even like. With powers that couldnt set fire to a fart (literallyId tried many, many times).

I didnt want to be here. I didnt want to fight anyone, save anyone, stand up for and/or against anyone. She didnt even deserve my help.

Is that stuff flammable? I asked in my best Im-not-bluffing-honest-Im-not voice. I pointed at the lake.

And then a stream of fire shot out the end of my forefinger.

It had never done that before.

The lake burst into flames.