Chapter 260: Too Few To Mention

Chapter 260: Too Few To Mention

This god of yours, how powerful is he?

The tree I was talking to blinked. I had sort of convinced it to help me, but I hadnt set out my plan. Mainly because I didnt have one. Whatever I did come up with, I was sure the forest would make its decision to join me in my atheistic ambitions, or not, based on how feasible it sounded. So I was keeping mum.

He is a god. All powerful.

Are you sure? Because gods dont tend to hide away in the middle of nowhere to play silly buggers.

He bores easily.

Not often you come across an apologist tree. Not very tasty fruit, I bet. I think theres more to it than that. Can he hear us out here, by the way?

He is aware of all things in his garden.

Is there anywhere in the forest he cant get to? Somewhere he cant see whats going on?

There was a pause. No.

Sounded like a yes to me. Where is it? Can you take me there? How long will it take?

Have you ever regretted something? That wash of self-revulsion when you realise youve made a terrible, terrible mistake that was only made possible by your actions?

If you have, then youre probably aware of the most popular ways you can respond to this gut-inverting feeling.

You can pretend it was somebody elses fault. Pointing the finger helps identify the real culprit, and has the added bonus of getting people to not look in your direction.

Or, you can convince yourself its okay because you wont make that mistake again. We all make mistakes. You shouldnt be singled out for yours. No need to own up to anything. Even a little covering up is acceptable, just as long as youve fully learned your lesson.

Or, you can get angry at yourself and use self-loathing the way it was meant to be used. As an excellent tool to make sure you never interact with people or things or places. There are traps everywhere, stay at home and avoid them all.

Of course, there are healthy, mature ways to deal with emotionally tricky situations, I just dont know what they are. I know for certain owning up and taking responsibility isnt one of them, even though your Dr Phils and Oprahs will advocate that sort of thing. You wont get a slap on the back for manning up. That would require you to be surrounded by other mature-types who can recognise and appreciate honest, sincere repentance. How many people like that do you know? What youll get is identified as a problem and treated like a scapegoat.

Personally, Ive always been a fan of the third option. If you dont give life the opportunity to let you fuck up, how can you?

Unfortunately, as a great man once said, life will find a way. Although that man was Jeff Goldblum, and hes a fucking weirdo.

You have to remember life works both ways. If life gives dinosaurs the impetus to fight and survive, it also gives people stupid enough to go to a theme park with living dinosaurs the ability to run away. Or at least the good looking ones.

All this is a roundabout way of saying I didnt like being proactive. If I try to do things, they dont turn out very well. If I try to avoid doing things, they still dont turn out very well, but its got nothing to do with me. And thats how I like it.

That changed when I came to this world.

It was a lot easier to take a step back and let others do what they wanted when I was back home because they were all better at it than I was. And I can use it here without giving a concrete example because whatever you think it might be, youre right.

When four guys pick up a heavy sofa to move it to the top floor, and one corner is lower than the others, everyone knows whos letting the team down. Theres no hiding it. You can still get the sofa up the stairs, but everyone knows whos in last place. Not only is he not helping, hes going to try so hard (to no great effect) that hell fuck up his back for the rest of the week, letting down a bunch of other people, too.

Thats a horrible feeling. Again, there are ways to handle it, some healthy, some not, but it pushes you into not wanting to participate in activities that identify you as lowest rung on the ladder.

I was Guy no.4 for most of my life. Then I came here, and I was still that guy. But slowly, Ive changed. Not just because I picked up some special abilitiesId gladly go the pay-2-win route if I couldbut rather because nobody in this world has invented giant leather sofas that dont fit around the turn in a split-level staircase.

The problems of 21st century earthlings werent how you were judged here. Your six pack abs, your flash car, your job that moved numbers around inside a computer and made you rich (somehow) werent important. Not getting eaten to death was. It changed the calculations for how you judged who was at the top of the charts.

You might think the guy who went to the gym and didnt miss leg day would do well here. Not if he couldnt think his way out of a fight with an ogre.

The rich guy who ran a hedge fund, barking out orders to a pack of wild fuccbois every day and went home to shag his model girlfriend wouldnt establish his status by wearing a $5000 Italian suit. Not unless the inside lining was chainmail.

Cutthroat takes on a new meaning, which is actually the old meaning, when someones literally trying to cut your throat.

Which isnt to say I was better at any of the things this world threw at me than they would be. My advantage, though, was in not thinking I had to do what was expected of me. Kill the dragon, rescue the princess, pull the sword out of the stone. Fuck the quest.

Im going to go deeper into the forest. Alone.

Why? asked Maurice.

I also didnt think there was any point in giving up and running for it. Yet.

I walked for a few hours, occasionally hearing noises of wildlife, but not seeing any. I assumed the forest was keeping them away. Fine by me.

At one point I stumbled onto a large plastic curtain, or thats what it looked like. It was semi-transparent and felt a bit rubbery. I slowly realised what it wasa giant snakeskin. I didnt fancy bumping into its previous owner. Judging by its shed skin, it was the size of a train.

My plan was to keep going until the path led somewhere, or stopped at a cliff. This path stopped at a cliff. With an opening.

It led to a very nice little grotto with light coming from a hole high above. There was a pool with a small waterfall. The ground was sandy and there were trees, but unlike the ones outside, these had large fronds, like palm trees.

It was like being in someones office and one wall was painted with a view of the beach. It gave off a dont want to be here vibe.

Eyes opened all around me. The trees, the walls, the toadstools growing in the shadows. This place is special. Tread carefully.

Whats so special about it? I asked. I didnt mean it to come out all obnoxious like that, but that goes for pretty much everything that comes out of my mouth.

It is mine, said one of the trees. Mine alone.

Okay. So we wont be overheard?

A breeze rustled the palm trees, which Id never heard before. Big, flappy sound.

What is it you think I can tell you? He is a god. He created me, gave me life. And he can take it away.

Yes, hes a regular Doctor Frankenstein. Youre all one under the soil, right? So you can see and feel whats under us?

Yes.

Good. Draw me a map of the forest.

A what?

I spent the next ten minutes explaining what a map was. Forests dont have much use for them, apparently.

The sand under my feet began to shift and lines appeared. It slowly took shape.

Where are the frogs right now?

A circle appeared.

And the castle?

Four oblongs appeared.

And the giant snake? Wheres he? Not really relevant, but I just wanted a heads up. A squiggly line appeared some way away.

Okay. Now, draw me a blueprint of the castle, all the rooms under the soil.

I spent another ten minutes explaining what a blueprint was.

The outline appeared on another section of sand. It was a dozen rooms of various sizes, but it had a familiar shape to it. Not a castle, something else.

Are there any more floors deeper down?

More rooms appeared. This whole under the soil business was really coming in handy.

Can you sense where the three girls are?

Three dots appeared in one of the rooms. So far so good. I was starting to get a sense of what I was up against. I sat down and looked at the drawings around me.

A good leader needs more than strength or influence. Money and people to do your bidding are all very well, but you need to know what to do with them. You need clarity.

I was in a world where I no longer had to be separate from others to feel comfortable. But getting away from everyone still helped sometimes. I was starting to get an idea of what to do.

People say theres no point regretting the things youve done, theyre what led you to being you. To which Id say, Exactly! How great would it be to not be that person? But there is one truth to that way of thinking. Regretful things teach you actions can have terrible consequences and how awful a person you can be, even when you dont intend it. And how even worse you can be when you do. You never know when something like that can come in handy.