Chapter 326: Marry in Haste, Repent at Leisure

Chapter 326: Marry in Haste, Repent at Leisure

The thing that separates people from animals is our ability to predict the future based on past events. A lot of fucking good it does us.New novel chapters are published on

Maybe it was a problem peculiar to me. My approach to things from my past was to think about them as little as possible. Whatever I might learn from my mistakes didnt come close to the comfort I derived from pretending they never happened.

And a good method for achieving that was to fill my head with as much trivia and useless content as possible. That way, when I thought back to my childhood, I remembered the time Rolfe betrayed me to the Nazis, and I had to escape over the Alps with my entire family which is a lot harder than it looks when youre sixteen, going on seventeen. My own pathetic history couldnt complete and stayed in the shadows where it belonged.

As I fell to the ground, it wasnt the pain that bothered me. It wasnt the shock of being caught in some kind of trap, either. The thought going through my head was the realisation that entering the portal had been an incredibly dumb thing to do. Not because of what was happening to me here, but because of what was happening to me out there.

I had already discovered that time restarted when I was inside one of these places. That meant my shipmates were no longer frozen in place. But my body was.

Not that I expected them to do anything weird to me. Then again, they were sailors, and probably did weird things to each other all the time.

In any case, this crew was reliable and responsible. They were professionals doing a job. The chance of them deciding to strip me naked and tie me to the mast was fifty percent at best.

My hope was that they would assume I was in some kind of trance, communing with the Almighty, and their respect for religion would stop them from sticking things up my butt.

It hadnt even occurred to me there were matters I needed to take into consideration when I decided to charge forward like an idiot. My only concern was whether my gamble would pay off, like some poor slob thinking hes being adventurous for buying the 5 scratchcard.

Id been doing a lot of short-term thinking of late. I wanted to make the riskiest plays for the highest rewards, so I could stop feeling like I was so far behind everyone else. Feeling like everyones got better shit than you is the human condition, I guess. We were built that way, to be forever lacking in satisfaction, to keep us in pursuit of something.

Personally, I see no problem with sorting out food and housing, maybe indoor plumbing, and then chill. Without Netflix, though, since no one would be bothered enough to invent it.

I lay on the ground, the light I had made by my side, slowly fading.

This was another of Arthurs prisons. Who did he have trapped here? I mean, apart from me. The light was almost gone. The pain in my chest was spreading and I couldnt move.

The Elder Frog had taught me how to use my beast magic without having to wiggle my fingers. Well, he had tried. I knew the theory, at least. My consistency wasnt the best, though.

But I didnt have to start from scratch with the light. I already had one here, even if it was rapidly disappearing. I ignored the pain, and tried to focus on the light. I stopped it from shrinking, and then I expanded it.

The ball floated, illuminating the area around me. I was in a tunnel, which was different to the other versions of this place Id visited. Usually the light would only show more darkness. This time, I could see walls.

I could also see the dart sticking out of my chest. How had it managed to interact with me? Everything apart from vines should have been insubstantial.

Arthur clearly knew a thing or two about being in this state. It stood to reason, since it was a requirement of entering the portal. If he could manipulate substance to create a gateway only someone in my current form could pass through, making objects that could hurt me probably wasnt that great of a leap.

Of course, this could still be a trap. The enticing items just sitting there, but as soon as you grab it, a giant ball starts rolling after you.

Still, Id managed to find decent loot. Real magic items. Im not ashamed to admit I had a tear in my eye. Obviously I am ashamed about a host of other things, but why spoil the moment? I had finally won a prize. The award for most gullible soon-to-be-dead person, probably.

All I had to do was take it.

I looked around the room from the entrance. The sword and shield were lying on the floor. My light hovered over them. The rest of the room was empty. Either side of the entrance I could feel walls made of stone. Im not a mason I dont know much about hewing stone and raising perpendiculars, or about how the Illuminati are running the worlds banks but, the walls felt pretty solid.

I put one foot in the room. Nothing happened. I was tempted to run in and grab the items, rejoice for a second, and then get crushed under a falling piano. Would be totally worth.

My foot refused to budge. Nothing was stopping it apart from my unassailable belief that there was no way it could be this easy. My hand was out like maybe I could reach them from here.

And then the sword moved. Just a little. I extended my hand a bit more. The sword flew at me, fortunately hilt-first, and I caught it. I reached out with my other hand, and the shield came to me like a dog to its master.

The sword wasnt that long, but I wasnt that tall, so that worked. The shield had two loops on the underside which my arm fit through perfectly. I know, too good to be true. Cursed, probably. Or some kind of controlling device that would make me do unspeakable things. Like wear Oxford brogues with tracksuit bottoms.

But none of that mattered. The important thing was that they looked cool. Even when held by me. I know. That in itself confirmed their magical status.

Now I just had to get out of here while avoiding whatever dastardly trap awaited me. Id have to be smart and sly. I couldnt afford to let my guard down for a single moment. I turned around and ran down the passage as fast as I could, screaming, Fuck yooooooou! as I sprinted for all I was worth.

I reached the portal and threw myself into it.

Not the most elegant of evacs, but it was the quickest for sure. The buildup of tension at the thought of what lay in store for me had been too much to bear. I needed a release, and it was impossible the old fashioned way. Running was the answer to all lifes problems.

I was out, and that meant time was once again on my side. The sword and shield looked even better out in the open. I did a quick look around for any last minute surprises. No one seemed to be about. Then I did a few practice sword swings. I managed to not cut myself. Better than that, it actually felt like I knew what I was doing.

I obviously didnt know what I was doing, but that was another indicator of how magical it was. If there was more stuff like this on the island, Id be overgeared in no time.

The shrine sat there, ignoring me. It was a large building, so most likely there was more to it than what I had managed to get hold of. I wanted to get back to Wesley and see if she recognised these items. I tilted the shield back and forth on my arm. It looked nice, but I couldnt tell what was special about it.

I floated back to the beach, more than impressed by my haul. It would be interesting to see if I could cut through vines with the swords. The islanders wouldnt be much good as test subjects, they were as unmarred by vines as I was, but there were people on the boat I could randomly cut loose from their loved ones. Theyd thank me in the long run.

I was busy admiring my new trinkets as I reached the shore, so I didnt immediately see the other ship. Which was surprising since it was twice the size of the one Id arrived on.

The islanders were still staring out to sea. Even though they could have moved while Id been in the shrine, they probably hadnt. Would have hurt their image.

I had no idea who the new ship belonged to, or what they wanted, but there was no need to panic. Plus, I was quite keen to try out my new weapons.