Chapter 366: The More the Merrier

Chapter 366: The More the Merrier

My party had grown. Not just counting the people in my cabin (plus those in my head), but the whole crew of the ship were under my command. It was like I had my own army. A small, weird army.

The problem was, other people had their armies, and theirs were probably better equipped and prepared for war. Mine was probably wondering what we were having for dinner. We did have a number of chefs on board, so it was an understandable question.

More doesnt mean better. If thirty miners get trapped in a cave-in, and after several days of televised rescue efforts, thirty-one miners are found alive and well, you wouldnt necessarily think that was the best outcome. Youd think, hold on a minute...

Too many cooks, and dinner could end up being a disaster. I may have become overly interested in the dinner menu myself. Anything to avoid having to face my real problems.

The biggest of which was that I was not only in charge, I was also the smartest person on the team. Dont take that as bragging. Its more of a lament. If I was the brains of the outfit, RIP me.

Having such a large complement of people working for me would at least get me back to Gorgoth quicker, at least I hoped so. Im not really sure how ships work, to be honest. More people equals quicker travel?

You cant really assume that would be the case, even if it seemed fairly logical. Getting nine women pregnant doesnt mean the baby will arrive in one month.

Are you sure releasing the old gods is for the best? asked Damicar, his hesitant tone making his personal view of my plan abundantly clear.

I think so. Im hoping it will cause a chain reaction that will force everyone to have to deal with each other and form some kind of balance between all the warring factions. It sounded weak and unlikely to succeed when I said it out loud. If I had a deeper voice, it would probably sound like a brilliant idea. If I could find a way to add that deafening sound from movie trailers, it would have everyone begging me to reveal the release date.

Im going to cause a chain reaction

Braam

...and force a balance between the warring factions.

Braam

See? Add a pitched-down bass drop at the start, fucking number one at the box office.

Sadly, I didnt have access to Pro Tools. If I did, Id add sound effects to everything I did. My life wouldnt be any better, but I think Id be much happier if I could add Benny Hill music to all my future battles (Im assuming thered be running involved).

As it was, Damicar just looked concerned.

Dont worry, its my ability to do the unexpected that keeps me ahead of the pack. He didnt look reassured. Youll see, once it starts, the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, and then bingo, its checkmate.

Your penchant for the unexpected is how we were able to find you so easily, said Laney.

Her words were light and casual, but managed to cut me off at the knees. Had I become so predictable? Was that why I had been struggling to deal with things lately?

Do not listen to her, said Richina. Your star is burning brightly, believe in yourself.

Now I was really worried. If the girl with the perm was on my side, I was truly fucked (a lesson that applies in all circumstances).

One thing that had served me well was a strong and unwavering belief that I wasnt as smart as I thought I was. Luck was not on my side, and hard work required talent to get across the finishing line, which meant no matter how hard I tried, my best would not be good enough. There was always someone better. I countered this by avoiding getting involved in the first place, and that had served me even better.

But I kept getting sucked into situations beyond my control. Which didnt mean someone else wasnt in control of them.

What if where I was and what I was planning was exactly what was required of me by those who were good at this sort of thing? The people who revelled in controlling others.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my eyes unable to sit still in my head, like I was reading from some invisible dossier. I was taking Richina to Gorgoth. I was going to use her to break the old gods out of their prison.

Who had made me think this was possible? Arthur.

Why would he tell me if it wasnt something he wanted me to do? Either he did want me to do it, or that wasnt what would happen when I took her there.

Laney, could you cut her hair off, please.

Richina showed a trace of surprise at my request. Laney didnt even blink, her sword was out and slicing through hair in a jiffy. My hand was full of long strands of rapidly curling hair.

It was not a flattering haircut. Richina now had a rather unfortunate dip in the top of her head, but it wasnt like she was the one who had to look at it.

Why? she said, a mixture of confusion and distress on her face. No girl likes to get her hair pulled.

You all have me running around like a blue-arsed fly, no idea what Im doing but willing to take long journeys for the chance to gain some advantage. I hate travelling. Every place is just as horrible as the last and the people in shops never treat me any better. No more. You cant kill me and you cant control me, so you have me running errands. Well, Im going to look in the box and see what theyve got me delivering. Youre the box, by the way, and I intend opening you with a knife.

She wasnt any less confused, but I was rambling a bit, so I didnt blame her. But there was something about what I had decided to do that made me less doubtful of myself. I felt conviction. Not something I got to experience very often.

Not conviction that I was right (how the hell can you know that until you get the results in?), this was more like a conviction that this was the best route to take. It could still end in disaster, of course, and probably would, but I would be leading the way.

How did I know I wasnt being manipulated in this as well? Because my idea was far too vicious for anyone to think I would do it.

What are you going to do? said a voice in my head.

What I need to, I said. Do you object?

How can I object when I dont know what it is, said Wesley. She had been quiet until now. She had always been quiet while I kept to the path. I trusted her more than anyone, but that wasnt saying much. I always knew she could turn on me, or had already. You dont want to do something you might regret.

No? I said. Why not? It wasnt a brilliant answer or anything, it was just blunt.

I dont know if I can allow you

I dont think you appreciate where you are. I may not be very good at exerting control over myself, but that isnt because I lack the ability. Wesley, you have terrible taste in men. No matter how good a person you are in yourself, all women who cling to men who are clearly horrible monsters, are idiots. They may have good reason for being so stupid, to stay with vile pieces of shit, but that doesnt mean the rest of us should put up with them.

My consciousness dropped into my head, the dark place that had become my Kings Cross St Pancras. I rarely stopped longer than it took to switch platforms.

Wesley was standing there, looking concerned. Not scared or angry, just concerned.

You will make things worse, she said.

I cant make them worse, not for myself. And I dont care if I make them worse for anyone else. Thats always been my weakness, what makes me such an excellent tool for others I dont really care if I lose. Even when Im being used to do terrible things, so what? Whoever ends up being in charge, theres no real difference, so I dont take sides. Even if I was the one in charge, Id still find a way to screw things up, so who gives a shit? Not disposable-me.

Wesleys mouth tightened and the lines around her eyes became increasingly furrowed. What will you become, though?

Not what anyone wants, which is kind of the point. Now, be an angel and stay here. I nodded at my smaller self who had appeared next to Wesley. He took her hand in his.

Wesley winced. He was stronger than he looked.

I returned to the world outside my mind. Richina looked worried. I raised the handful of hair.

Lets go see a woman about a doll.

It wont work, said Richina. You think you can control me? Do you think it would work on her? She indicated Biadet with a nod.

She was right, controlling one of their creations wasnt the same as controlling regular folk.

No, it wont work on its own, but Im actually quite powerful. Im not very good at using my power, but thats because Im lazy. It requires trial and error, experimentation, a willingness to persevere. Same reason I cant ride a skateboard. I think its about time I put some effort into this godlike power I have. Youre going to need some surgery to attach you to the doll. I dont know if it hurts when you die, but I apologise in advance if it does. Im going to tether you and kill you a lot of times. When you die, you wont be able to leave like you normally do. Youll go where I tell you, in whichever world you exist. Were going to find your Dad.

The ship lurched. The wind had suddenly started howling and the waves were crashing against the hull. It made me smile. Someone was trying to intervene. They hadnt done that until now. They were always trying to help me, make deals, offer me inducements to pursue the most desirable outcome. If they actually wanted to stop me now, I had to be doing something right. About fucking time.